Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy. Capcom owns Devil May Cry, and DMC 2. I don't.
Title: Better the Devil You Know…
Author: Paradigm Shifter
Feedback: I guess I'm reduced to begging again, hmm? Please?
Rating: OK, this is slowly going up. Each chapter gets more 'R'ish than the last. You have been warned…
Notes: The first testimony is taken from the DMC manual… it sounded cool, so I put it in. The other belongs to me. Also, I am fully aware that my portrayal of Dante is slightly inaccurate… but he was a different person in DMC 1 & 2. Since this is set between, he has a rather… schizophrenic personality.
Crossover: Devil May Cry / Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Continuity: DMC1, not 2 (except for a few enemies). Xander's road trip. That's pretty much it. Enjoy.
*
Testimony of an Informant: Enzo Ferino:
"Dante? Yeah, I know him. Doing this kind of business myself, I seen tons of dangerous guys… but I don't know anybody as crazy."
"First off, he is one skilled dude. I seen him take on a dozen villains with only his strange sword… the one he calls 'Woozy'. He don't raise an eyebrow, even when a bullet grazes his nose."
"Besides, he's weird. If he don't like a job, he won't take it even for a pile of notes up to the ceiling. But say its something bizarre like a ghost haunting or devil purification, he jumps right on it… it don't matter if there's a reward or not."
"Rumour says blue blood may be flowing in that guys body. I tell ya, if he glares at a guy, even a Devil May Cry…"
*
Testimony of Informant: Carlotta Virchese:
"Dante? What do you want with Dante? He's a no good puke! I'm the one you want for jobs like that! …Oh… sorry… self-advertising, you know…"
"That guy is as cold as ice… you could thrust him into the biggest fire fight in the world, and he wouldn't bat an eyelid. Next up, he's the only person who'd walk out alive…"
"Yeah, Enzo's right, if Dante don't like a job, he just won't take it. Crazy, totally off his rocker. He turned down a job that paid nearly five mil once, and all because the guy who walked in and offered it wore a pink tie…"
"Six months ago? Yeah, he disappeared for a while. We all thought he finally bought it in one of his crazy stunts. Who in their right mind goes all sword wielding on a guy charging at you with an M249 SAW? Well, OK, Dante, that's who. Took the guy out too… shit, he is one crazy bastard…"
*
Xander casually walked into the bar. It was a large building, with three levels. The main bar was on the top floor, and the function rooms were below. It was a strange layout, but one that seemed to work. The clientele loved it.
He usual spot in the corner of the bar was empty, and Dante had the barman on 'friendly terms', which meant that he had saved his daughter from some devils a while back. God only knew what the girl was doing going there, but then again…
This friendship extended to Xander. Or at least, it did once Dante explained politely that Xander was his partner, and no, he would not get drunk. All right, maybe 'politely' was the wrong word… but there wasn't a better one.
"Hello, Xander," said the barman, "what do you want tonight?"
Xander looked up from examining the wood of the bar where he was sitting. "Oh… right… order a drink, I suppose." He sighed. "I'll have a pint thanks, Charlie."
Charlie nodded and moved over next to the draught pumps, where he placed a pint glass and began to fill it. As he finished, he came over and began to talk quietly. "You know, I'm glad one of you came in tonight… we had this odd guy come in earlier, asking about you and Dante…" he shook his head on Xander's alarmed look. "Don't worry, I didn't tell him anything. But I thought you would want to know. Short guy, light brown hair, glasses, bit of a squint. Immaculate suit. He was odd because the best dressed customers we get here are you and Dante… and the rest, well…" He just looked around at the rest of the bar.
Xander nodded, digesting the information, and laid a five-dollar bill on the bar for his drink. "Thanks, Charlie, we appreciate your… discretion."
Charlie smiled warmly. "Think nothing of it, lad, it's the least I can do for Dante."
Xander smiled back, and raised his pint to his lips. As it touched, he froze, and his eyes widened. Quickly draining it, he stood and raised an eyebrow at Charlie. He nodded, but looked confused. Xander quickly made his way over to the largest biker in the bar, and pressed three fifties onto the table in front of him.
"Do me a favour, Jawbreaker?" he said. "The next three guys that walk into the bar: see that they have to be stretchered out…"
Jawbreaker nodded, and slid the fifties into his leathers. "OK, kid. One order of triple hospitalisation coming up."
Xander disappeared down the back stairs just as the suit and two friends walked through the front entrance. "Find Harris." Ordered the suit.
Jawbreaker stood as one of the goons walked past him. Sliding his chair backwards into the path of the goon, he then swept his elbow around and landed a heavy blow to the back of the man's head. Man and chair collapsed into a heap of broken furniture. The other man, seeing his partner hit the floor, headed over to Jawbreaker and swung at him.
This was the cue for the entire bar to erupt in a fight.
*
Xander ran down the stairs like a man possessed. He saw the bottom of the stairs and leapt the last ten or so steps. Landing in the storage room at the back of the bar, Xander steadied himself and launched himself at the rear security door. It gave way easily, and Xander found himself in the alley that ran along the back of the bar.
He turned suddenly at the sound of a shout. Seeing three people running for him pointing, he took off in the opposite direction, muttering to himself as he went.
"Why is my life never simple?"
Voices echoed behind him.
"Get him!"
"I can't, he's too fast!"
"Fool! He's just got a head start!"
Xander accelerated, as the voices got stronger. Ducking round a corner, he hugged close to one wall, and quickly whipped round another corner as soon as he could. The men were still chasing him, but could not see him right now.
Xander ran right at one of the claustrophobically tight alley walls, and took three running steps up it. Then he pushed off and twisted his body, bringing his feet to the other wall and doing the same thing. Realising as he twisted that he had ran out of wall to run up, Xander continued his twisting somersault to land with his feet shoulder width apart on the roof of the bar.
Crouching, he looked cautiously over the edge, and saw the three men looking around for him in vain.
None of them thought of looking up.
"He's gone!"
"Where could he go?"
"How the hell should I know? I'm not a damn demon hunter!"
Demon Hunter? Thought Xander. Is that what they think we are? Demons?
"He must be a demon! Only demons can disappear like the mists!"
Actually, thought Xander, there are quite a lot a spells that allow the caster to disappear like they think I have… but why disabuse them?
Xander stood, and intending to make a quiet getaway, started toward the other side of the building. He could roof hop for a few hundred yards, and once safely out of range, get the hell out of the area.
It was a good idea.
It was just a shame fate had other plans.
As Xander stood, a loose tile under his foot began to slide. Xander managed to rescue himself, but the tile fell down into the alley where the men were. It smashed loudly.
The shouts of the three alerted their friends all around the bar, if the slate hadn't.
"He's on the roof! He's on the roof!"
"Damn it…" murmured Xander, before stepping away from another slipping tile.
"There's no way up there." Said one voice. Xander looked over the edge too see the speaker. It was the suit. "We must wait him out, or get a helicopter in."
"Chopper. If we wait too long, he'll just find a way out of here…"
The suit voice came again. "Yes, but the boss may not like the use of resources for capture of just one…"
"Who gives a damn? When they are alone, they're vulnerable! Trying to get both at the same time is a good attempt at suicide!"
"Very well." Xander heard a radio crackle to life. "Hawkeye One, come in. We want recon of the area. Find the bastard."
Xander closed his eyes and prayed.
*
Less than a quarter of an hour later, Xander heard the low thrum of helicopter blades cutting the air.
He pulled out a small mobile phone, one that Dante insisted that he carry at all times. He had never been more grateful for Dante's sometimes-bossy attitude. He keyed in the number and waited as the portable encryption key synchronised with its counterpart on Dante's phone.
The phone rang.
And rang.
And rang.
And finally, just as he was about to hang up, the answer phone cut in. Dante's severe tone cut across the connection. "This is the Devil Never Cry Detective Agency, leave your name, number and problem, and I'll get back to you…"
Xander swore quietly. "Dante," he said forcefully into the phone. "Pick the damn phone up. I'm in serious shit. And I'm in it up to my neck."
Xander's keen eyes could now see the helicopter, a black camouflage design, with a silent rotor system for covert operations. It was using it, but Xander could still hear the slight sound. It had, as any Doom nut would tell you, a big frickin' gun on the front, and a spotlight either side. Neither of the spotlights was on yet.
Finally, after an age, Dante picked up. "Didn't I tell you to be careful?" his near teasing tone came over the line.
Xander cut him off. "I don't have time for that! I have some goons down here with military equipment, specifically, one chopper, big, dark, and with a huge gun."
"Get out of there…" said Dante as if it was obvious.
"Well, duh!" hissed Xander. "But it's a bit hard, there's loads of them! And they're after us both. So don't come to my rescue. I'll get out alone."
Dante sounded… hurt. "OK, Xander. I trust you. Got your weapons?"
Xander nodded, then gave verbal acknowledgement. "Yeah, both pistols, but I haven't got Ragnarok. Too big for the bus, you know?"
Dante laughed quietly. "Xander," he said seriously, "we have got to get you a bike…"
Xander didn't reply, and hit 'end' on the phone. The chopper had just turned its spotlights on.
Xander pulled both of his pistols. They hadn't caught him yet, and they hadn't found him yet. Aiming carefully at the two spotlights, he fired…
*
"We're under fire! We're under fire!" yelled the helicopter pilot as the first spotlight exploded in a shower of sparks. Hr pulled back on the stick hard, killing forward momentum, and then wrenched it to the right, backing the chopper and slammed his foot into the pedal, spinning the vehicle crazily on its axis.
The second spotlight exploded with the same shower of sparks as the first, and suddenly the area was dark once again, the powerful searchlights destroyed.
Xander fired once more, and an almighty grinding sound began to emanate from the rotor.
The pilot cursed over the comm. "He's hit the rotor! What the hell is that guy shooting?!"
The calm voice of the suit came back. "I do not know. Maybe we had better find out…" he added, almost as an afterthought, "Hawkeye One, return to base. You're no use to us if you're having flight troubles."
Xander smiled to himself as he saw the helicopter bank away and head back the way it came, albeit a lot more noisily than it had arrived. Through sheer blind luck, one of his rounds had found the noise dampener… or maybe the angle control… that had an influence in rotor noise too, didn't it?
"Now to get out of here…" he whispered.
The building to the side of the bar was an apartment complex, taller than the bar, and with lots of small windows. Xander looked up at the roof, and realised that there was no way he would be able to get up there without some serious help. Most of the windows had light on inside. That meant people were home, and awake…
He noticed a window on the second floor was open, and the light was out. A short drop, and he was home free.
Unfortunately, as it so often does, fate intervened again. As Xander slipped silently through the window, a loud scream shattered the silence.
Xander turned around to see two people in a large bed, one male, and one female. Both were naked.
The woman continued screaming and pulled the sheet up to cover her. Regrettably, this meant that the sheet was pulled away from the man, leaving him leaned up in the bed, looking bewildered and completely exposed.
"Uh… just checking the window frames…" said Xander weakly. "Um… bye."
He ran through the door opposite, and down a short hallway to the front door of the apartment. Opening the door, he entered the main second floor hall and ran to the stairs.
As he reached the landing, he heard heavy footsteps pounding up the stairs, and shouts from the men that were chasing him.
"Damn it…" he muttered, and ran for the third floor.
"He's a floor ahead of us!" echoes up the stairs.
"I know! Catch him!"
Xander didn't want to know what they wanted, and he didn't want to find out, either. He increased his speed until he reached the top floor of the apartment building.
Xander stopped as he reached the edge of the roof, and turned back to face his pursuers.
The three that were running up the stairs after him stopped as they saw Xander reach the roof, at bay.
He was trapped.
They spread out, and started forward. "Why don't you come with us, mate? You've led us a merry chase, I'll give you that… but now its time to pay the piper. And you will pay the piper…"
Xander took one menacing step toward them, and they stopped dead. An evil smile appeared on Xander's face, and he brushed his coat back, like the western gun fighters from tens of decades ago.
The men's eyes widened as they realised that they were the targets.
A loud, imperious voice sounded over the wind. "What do I pay you for? Kill him!"
The men started forward again, and Xander realised with a sinking feeling that he couldn't shoot them… they were human. He could do nothing more than defend himself.
The first threw a punch that Xander ducked with uncanny ease. The next tried to leg-sweep him, but again, Xander merely dodged the strike. The third caught him on his blindside, and Xander had no choice but to block it directly. As the leg swung past, Xander caught it and drew it up, before bringing his elbow down hard into the knee.
A sickening crunching noise, accompanied by the man's agonised scream told of the injury. The man collapsed onto the floor, clutching his ruined leg, with tears running down his face from the pain.
While Xander was busy with the third, the first two had regrouped. While the first kept Xander's attention, the second tried to tackle him. Xander flung him off like an irritating nuisance, and the man screamed as he went over the side of the building. Xander looked cautiously over the edge and saw the man land solidly on the roof of the bar. As long as he didn't move, he wouldn't fall off.
Seeing his two compatriots down, the first man gained a healthy respect for Xander's abilities. He maintained a constant distance between him and Xander, never letting Xander get close enough to hit him.
Xander fumed. This guy wasn't playing. "OK, fine, I've had enough of you bastards… if you want to stay away, do it, I don't care…" with that, he pulled a pistol and shot the man in the shoulder.
As the man fell to the ground, eyes tightly closed against the pain, tears being squeezed out, Xander re-holstered the pistol. He heard the voice of the suit behind him.
"Mr. Harris, you are… more impressive than I had been led to believe. Truly, I thought that Dante did all the work."
"Well," said Xander. "Now you know different."
"Indeed." The suit nodded. "Let us see… Alexander Harris, age 18, parents, biological; dead, parents, foster; alive, drunkards. Current occupation: should I put down demon hunter, or perhaps; Demon itself?"
Xander didn't show how deeply this little reeling off of his information had affected him. "Since you know so much about me, why don't you tell me who you are?"
The suit laughed. "My dear Mr. Harris… I am unimportant. But if it makes you feel better, you may call me… sir."
Xander shook his head. "I don't think so, buddy."
"You will come with me, Mr. Harris, whether you like it or not." With this simple statement, he began stalking toward Xander.
Xander shook his head, and pulled out both pistols again. "Not one more step."
"Oh, Mr. Harris, you wont shoot… an unarmed… man? Will you?"
"That depends," said Xander, "on whether he is really a man or not…"
As the suit charged forward, Xander fired wide, his arc of bullets spraying as he spun away from the attack and countered. Bringing the butt of one pistol down on the back of the man's head, Xander watched as the suit fell to the ground.
The suit rolled onto his back. "So… you're just going to kill me? A human?"
Xander shook his head. "No. Not just kill you." He fired at the suits legs.
As the bullets tore through, the suit did not even wince, let alone scream. His face was set in a rictus of hate as Xander stood over him.
Xander passed judgement.
"Devils…" he said quietly.
"Never…" he said even more softly, looking down.
"CRY!" He shouted the word, and closed his eyes as he squeezed the triggers, both pistols pointed at the creature's head.
*
Oh, oh, another cliffhanger! Tell me what you think, please!
A/N2: Argh! Ff.net's mucking about with the word count again! Actual WC: 3196