(A/N): This is the result of two hours sleep, Nesquik coffee syrup and a
troubled mind. Enjoy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Title: I'm Not Following Any Bleeding Yellow Brick Road!
Determined to find the answers they seek, One, Two, Agent Smith and a very reluctant Spike leave the bar only to be confronted with a very peculiar sight. "Okkkaayyy. That wasn't there before, right?" Two asked suspiciously as he leaned heavily on his brother's shoulder. In front of the Fearsome Four was a long, yellow brick road that began right at the door of the bar, and ended at some unforeseen destination. "It seems as if The Architect is bending reality to give us a way to find him." Agent Smith reasoned, having finally regained control over himself. Although, he did still have the leg of the chair with him like some sought of makeshift security blanket. Spike stared at the Agent with an incredulous look on his face. "Oookay! This is where I draw the line!" Spike yelled drunkenly with a big sweep of his arms as if he were an umpire who saw one of the Mets trying to steal home. "Do I look like a prepubescent girl with pigtails and a puffy white dress?! I'M WILLIAM THE EFFIN' BLOODY DAMMIT! AND I"LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GOING DOWN SOME CRAPPY STREET THAT LOOKS LIKE SOME FRAT WANKERS JUST PISSED ON IT!!" The veins on Spike's neck were bulging out and his eyes looked like his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. Dead and ghostly or not, Spike looked like he was gonna have a heart attack, until One unsteadily walked up to him and slapped the vampire. "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN.VAMPIRE.WHATEVER!" One shouted at Spike as he pulled on his leather duster so that the two were face to face. "Why should I!" Spike cried as he yanked away from the albino twin. "I'm already damned! It's bad enough I'm gonna spend an eternity suffering, I have to suffer here on Earth, too!" Whined the Master vampire as the Twins dragged him down the yellow road.
"Come on, Spike. Perk up! Oh, I know! Wanna skip down the yellow brick road and sing the song!" One asked in fake, bubbly brightness, thoroughly enjoying making the bleached blonde vampire squirm. "Oh, Weeee're off to see the Wizard!" The Twins began to sing. Terrified, Spike did his "Ghost Thing" and One and Two fell down, yelling obscenities at the now smirking ghost/vampire. (A/N: Which I like to call "Ghampire.") Agent Smith just stood there, table leg in hand and sucking his thumb. He bore a striking resemblance to the Peanut's character, Linus, a.k.a kid who carried around blue security blanket. "Listen guys. If there is a program Hell, you are probably on the top of the list. Just accept your fate with dignity." The three programs looked at each other then looked at the Ghampire. "Nahhhh!"
So the four continued to walk down the path, receiving curious glances from some, while others pointed and laughed. Rightfully so, they were immediately shot in the head by Agent Smith, making Spike perk up just a bit. "You guys do realize that all we need now is a little scraggily dog named Todo." To the right of the path was a dark alleyway where little Frodo Baggins appeared and crept up to the four. "Did you say a little hobbit named Frodo?" "Nooooo." Spike said annoyed and confused by the presence of the Shire native. "I think The Architect has been hitting the bottle again." One whispered to Two. "Again?" Spike asked raising his scarred eyebrow. "You know that whole Recall fiasco right here in good ole' Cali?" Spike looked at him in surprise as One raised his thumb to his mouth and tilted his head back in a drunken, shaky motion. "Yes. Some of the world's strangest happenings are caused by The Architect's penchant for.uhh. "Wine tasting". "Spike look at Agent Smith skeptically. "Riiiigghhttt. You mean getting dead drunk to the point of falling flat on his ass." "Exactly." Two said cheerily. One was to busy staring at Frodo to make a smart-ass reply. "What in the BLUE HELL are you?!" One asked doing his best "The Rock" impression. "Hi! I'm Frodo Baggins. I'm gonna accompany you on your journey! Won't that be fun!" Frodo gave One his most dazzling smile and One looked down on the hobbit with horror written all over his face. "Elrond! What are you doing here?! And why are you wearing that awful outfit?" Frodo asked Agent Smith. One and Spike cringed and Agent Smith took out his gun, aiming for little Frodo's head. Before he could pull the trigger, Spike grabbed his arm and stopped the agent from killing the beloved character. "I DON'T THINK SO!" cried One and before his twin could stop him, One field goal kicked Frodo back into the alley and into a garbage can. "Crapsicles. That was all kinds of wrong." Two whispered as a whole bunch of people gasped in horror at what One did to poor Mr. Frodo. "Uhhh, I think we should get outta here." Agent Smith suggested as an angry mob began to form, complete with pitch forks and torches.
Holy crap! All this for that little ankle-bitter!" One yelled as the Four began to run down the road. "Great! Just bloody freakin' great! Before when I was being chased by a mob it was doing something dastardly and actually important. Not for knowing someone who sent a hobbit flying!" Spike huffed as he ran with the programs. "So, brother." Two began." You just won the effin' Superbowl with that hella-kick. What are you gonna do know?!" "I'm gonna run for my goddamn artificial life, wise-ass!" One yelled as they turned the corner and reached their destination. In front of them was a huge scary mansion. Looking like it was straight out of a Scooby-Doo cartoon. "Oh screw that! Frodo was cute but he wasn't that cute!" shouted one of the guys in the angry mob. "How dare you disparage our anger!" one of the female's replied and the mob turned on the loud mouthed guy instead. "I guess that kinda sated our anger." The woman said, and the angry mob became just a "slightly pissed" mob and decided to drive home to vent the remaining rage they had on the road.
"Ok, boys. Let's go in." Agent Smith said through the thumb in his mouth. The four entered the spooky mansion not surprised to discover that the "Haunted Mansion" get-up was just a front. As they walked through the door they entered a small white passageway with countless doors. The four walked down the corridor, looking for the right door that would lead to The Architect. Spike, not being a frequent visitor like the programs, wondered what was behind the doors, especially the one standing before him in red and white stripes. ~ I wonder where this door leads. ~ Spike thought. He looked at the other three who were too busy being jumpy just incase The Architect threw some more "surprises" their way. Spike shrugged his shoulders and twisted the doorknob. "Nooooo!" the Twins and Agent screamed as the door opened and a large cloud of smoked leaked out. When the smoke cleared, the four killers were confronted by the scariest thing they had every seen...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(A/N): No hobbits were harmed during the writing of this fic. I happen to be pro-hobbit!
Weirdness galore!
Next chapter:
We meet the entity that has able to scare these four bad asses!
Plus, our boys finally meet with The Architect!
R&R PLEASE!
Love,
Jaded316
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Title: I'm Not Following Any Bleeding Yellow Brick Road!
Determined to find the answers they seek, One, Two, Agent Smith and a very reluctant Spike leave the bar only to be confronted with a very peculiar sight. "Okkkaayyy. That wasn't there before, right?" Two asked suspiciously as he leaned heavily on his brother's shoulder. In front of the Fearsome Four was a long, yellow brick road that began right at the door of the bar, and ended at some unforeseen destination. "It seems as if The Architect is bending reality to give us a way to find him." Agent Smith reasoned, having finally regained control over himself. Although, he did still have the leg of the chair with him like some sought of makeshift security blanket. Spike stared at the Agent with an incredulous look on his face. "Oookay! This is where I draw the line!" Spike yelled drunkenly with a big sweep of his arms as if he were an umpire who saw one of the Mets trying to steal home. "Do I look like a prepubescent girl with pigtails and a puffy white dress?! I'M WILLIAM THE EFFIN' BLOODY DAMMIT! AND I"LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GOING DOWN SOME CRAPPY STREET THAT LOOKS LIKE SOME FRAT WANKERS JUST PISSED ON IT!!" The veins on Spike's neck were bulging out and his eyes looked like his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. Dead and ghostly or not, Spike looked like he was gonna have a heart attack, until One unsteadily walked up to him and slapped the vampire. "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN.VAMPIRE.WHATEVER!" One shouted at Spike as he pulled on his leather duster so that the two were face to face. "Why should I!" Spike cried as he yanked away from the albino twin. "I'm already damned! It's bad enough I'm gonna spend an eternity suffering, I have to suffer here on Earth, too!" Whined the Master vampire as the Twins dragged him down the yellow road.
"Come on, Spike. Perk up! Oh, I know! Wanna skip down the yellow brick road and sing the song!" One asked in fake, bubbly brightness, thoroughly enjoying making the bleached blonde vampire squirm. "Oh, Weeee're off to see the Wizard!" The Twins began to sing. Terrified, Spike did his "Ghost Thing" and One and Two fell down, yelling obscenities at the now smirking ghost/vampire. (A/N: Which I like to call "Ghampire.") Agent Smith just stood there, table leg in hand and sucking his thumb. He bore a striking resemblance to the Peanut's character, Linus, a.k.a kid who carried around blue security blanket. "Listen guys. If there is a program Hell, you are probably on the top of the list. Just accept your fate with dignity." The three programs looked at each other then looked at the Ghampire. "Nahhhh!"
So the four continued to walk down the path, receiving curious glances from some, while others pointed and laughed. Rightfully so, they were immediately shot in the head by Agent Smith, making Spike perk up just a bit. "You guys do realize that all we need now is a little scraggily dog named Todo." To the right of the path was a dark alleyway where little Frodo Baggins appeared and crept up to the four. "Did you say a little hobbit named Frodo?" "Nooooo." Spike said annoyed and confused by the presence of the Shire native. "I think The Architect has been hitting the bottle again." One whispered to Two. "Again?" Spike asked raising his scarred eyebrow. "You know that whole Recall fiasco right here in good ole' Cali?" Spike looked at him in surprise as One raised his thumb to his mouth and tilted his head back in a drunken, shaky motion. "Yes. Some of the world's strangest happenings are caused by The Architect's penchant for.uhh. "Wine tasting". "Spike look at Agent Smith skeptically. "Riiiigghhttt. You mean getting dead drunk to the point of falling flat on his ass." "Exactly." Two said cheerily. One was to busy staring at Frodo to make a smart-ass reply. "What in the BLUE HELL are you?!" One asked doing his best "The Rock" impression. "Hi! I'm Frodo Baggins. I'm gonna accompany you on your journey! Won't that be fun!" Frodo gave One his most dazzling smile and One looked down on the hobbit with horror written all over his face. "Elrond! What are you doing here?! And why are you wearing that awful outfit?" Frodo asked Agent Smith. One and Spike cringed and Agent Smith took out his gun, aiming for little Frodo's head. Before he could pull the trigger, Spike grabbed his arm and stopped the agent from killing the beloved character. "I DON'T THINK SO!" cried One and before his twin could stop him, One field goal kicked Frodo back into the alley and into a garbage can. "Crapsicles. That was all kinds of wrong." Two whispered as a whole bunch of people gasped in horror at what One did to poor Mr. Frodo. "Uhhh, I think we should get outta here." Agent Smith suggested as an angry mob began to form, complete with pitch forks and torches.
Holy crap! All this for that little ankle-bitter!" One yelled as the Four began to run down the road. "Great! Just bloody freakin' great! Before when I was being chased by a mob it was doing something dastardly and actually important. Not for knowing someone who sent a hobbit flying!" Spike huffed as he ran with the programs. "So, brother." Two began." You just won the effin' Superbowl with that hella-kick. What are you gonna do know?!" "I'm gonna run for my goddamn artificial life, wise-ass!" One yelled as they turned the corner and reached their destination. In front of them was a huge scary mansion. Looking like it was straight out of a Scooby-Doo cartoon. "Oh screw that! Frodo was cute but he wasn't that cute!" shouted one of the guys in the angry mob. "How dare you disparage our anger!" one of the female's replied and the mob turned on the loud mouthed guy instead. "I guess that kinda sated our anger." The woman said, and the angry mob became just a "slightly pissed" mob and decided to drive home to vent the remaining rage they had on the road.
"Ok, boys. Let's go in." Agent Smith said through the thumb in his mouth. The four entered the spooky mansion not surprised to discover that the "Haunted Mansion" get-up was just a front. As they walked through the door they entered a small white passageway with countless doors. The four walked down the corridor, looking for the right door that would lead to The Architect. Spike, not being a frequent visitor like the programs, wondered what was behind the doors, especially the one standing before him in red and white stripes. ~ I wonder where this door leads. ~ Spike thought. He looked at the other three who were too busy being jumpy just incase The Architect threw some more "surprises" their way. Spike shrugged his shoulders and twisted the doorknob. "Nooooo!" the Twins and Agent screamed as the door opened and a large cloud of smoked leaked out. When the smoke cleared, the four killers were confronted by the scariest thing they had every seen...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(A/N): No hobbits were harmed during the writing of this fic. I happen to be pro-hobbit!
Weirdness galore!
Next chapter:
We meet the entity that has able to scare these four bad asses!
Plus, our boys finally meet with The Architect!
R&R PLEASE!
Love,
Jaded316