Chapter 4: Close Encounter of the Annoying and Furry Kind.
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Out of the red and white striped door popped the most terrifying and hideous creature they had ever seen.THE CAT IN THE HAT! "Through the door, I come to you. To greet and welcome and pester is true! Four restless travelers, my eyes do spy. All four in desperate need of hair dye!" Our four heroes were for the first time that night speechless and turned a puke-worthy shade of sickly green. "What do you mean by that!" Spike cried. Spike addressed the other three programs. "Are my roots showing?! It's hard to tell when you can't look in the mirror!" The Cat in The Hat bounced up to the four visitors and with each bounce toward them, they in turn jumped back. This continued until they were all the way up to the wall, which because of the cramped quarters, was only two steps.
"Bad asses you are, Or at least suppose to be. Even though one looks like my accountant and the other a Billy Idol wannabe!" The Twins laughed and pointed at Spike and Smith's scowling faces. "Please. I have more humanity in my pinky finger than most accountant's have in their entire bodies." Agent Smith mumbled squeezing his table leg even tighter. "Screw what he said about you! Me?! A Billy Idol wannabe?! He stole MY look, you fur-ball swallowing ponce!" The Cat giggled and smiled as he walked up to the ghampire. "Oh, don't fret, For I'll bet. You don't mind my hassling. At least, not as much As you and your grandsire's slashing!" Spike looked at the oversized cat with pure unadulterated hatred. Agent Smith and the Twins looked between the two and let out a loud "Oooohhhhhhh" that echoed throughout the passageway. "I see you like little diddties, so here's one: You tread on dangerous territory, Pussy, I can barely control my demon. I doubt you'd still have that smirk on your face if I forced you to drink my sem**!" A loud *beep* was heard as Spike said the last word of his rhyme. "Naughty vampire, display such foul etiquette! SHE will not allow it, for this is a PG- 13 fic!"
"Wait a minute, who's SHE?" Two asked, finally deciding to join the conversation instead of laughing at Spike and Smith's pain. "Who is SHE? SHE is the SHE that you cannot see! For SHE rules all that we can visually see. But to truly see is to see SHE, but only if SHE allows!" The Cat whispered in a conspiratorial tone. "Huh?! This cat's hopped up on acid or something. Let's just go look for The Architect and leave this 'hophead' to his business." One replied to the crazy Cat's nonsensical dialogue. "And how could I overlook the Twins? With their identical razors, blazers and grins. But I don't know exactly how happy they could be, considering last time they were seen, they were blown to smithereens!" The Cat finished with a giggle and did a somersault in front of the four completely brassed off killers. " Oh that's it." One said as he kneed The Cat in the stomach and Spike, Two and Agent Smith punched and kicked the green nuisance as Cat fell to the floor. "What do you have to say now, Cat! I really truly wish that right now I had a bat! To hang you by your whiskers, that would be sublime! I wonder how many ways there are to skin a cat alive!" Two recited as he helped the others beat the Cat to a mass of black and white fur, pointy teeth and blood. Smith used his table leg to 'bonk' The Cat in the head as Spike did a Mexican dance on top of it. Opposite the red and white striped door, right next to where the four baddies were beating the hell out of the green Dr. Seuss character, was a door with what seemed to be a large Mexican mask on it. The door opened and out popped the head of the masked wrestler who we occasionally see handing out mail in Wolfram and Hart. "Mucha Lucha!" yelled the Masked Mailman and then he stuck his head back in and closed the door.
"Wait! Look!" One exclaimed. The other three stopped their assault only to see the Cat's face all twisted and distorted. "Wow! We really clobbered him! High five everybody!" Spike high-fived Two, then Agent Smith. He gave a 'thumbs up' to One, who was on the other side of the mangled Cat. "Good on you, mate!" One just looked at the vampire with a tried expression written on his face. "Nooooo. Look! That's not its face! That's a mask!" Spike furrowed his brows in confusion and Agent Smith bent down to remove the mask by pulling on the red and white striped stovepipe hat. Much to the surprise of the three programs and the one Master ghampire, the Cat was revealed to be *DA DA DA*. Mike Meyers! "Strange. Why would anyone want to dress up as such a disgusting creature?" Agent Smith asked perplexed by the change of events. "For an ass-load of money!" Mr. Meyers blurted out, right before he passed out. "Oh bloody Hell. I like Mike Meyers. At least as Austin Powers." Spike pouted and Smith put a reassuring hand on the bottle blonde's shoulder. "Don't worry we'll just tell people that..." "Hold on. I'm not getting chased by another angry mob." Two cried. "No. We'll just say." "Let' me tell you about the story of a man named SHHH!" Spike interrupted putting a finger to his mouth. "No we'll just logically explain." "When a problem comes along, you must Zip it! Zip it good!" Two joined in. "Come on you guys. Why should we be intimidated be the lowly viruses who find his toilet sense of humor amusing?" Agent Smith reasoned. "Hey!" The Twins yelled in unison. "What's so bad about being a virus?!" Two asked defensively. "Yeah!" One hit the Agent in the arm. "Ow. I'm just saying, who do we have to fear?" Smith asked. The other three let out a sigh of relief as Smith's logic seemingly saved the day. But what they failed to remember was that things are not always as they seem.
"AHHHHHHHH!" The four screamed as the floor gave way beneath them and they fell into a room covered in television screens. In front of them was a desk and behind the desk was The Architect!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That was fun.
R&R PLEASE!
Don't make me send The Cat in The Hat to your house! He'll make fun of your obsession with fanfic and the posters of the Twins on the wall.
Love,
Jaded316
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Out of the red and white striped door popped the most terrifying and hideous creature they had ever seen.THE CAT IN THE HAT! "Through the door, I come to you. To greet and welcome and pester is true! Four restless travelers, my eyes do spy. All four in desperate need of hair dye!" Our four heroes were for the first time that night speechless and turned a puke-worthy shade of sickly green. "What do you mean by that!" Spike cried. Spike addressed the other three programs. "Are my roots showing?! It's hard to tell when you can't look in the mirror!" The Cat in The Hat bounced up to the four visitors and with each bounce toward them, they in turn jumped back. This continued until they were all the way up to the wall, which because of the cramped quarters, was only two steps.
"Bad asses you are, Or at least suppose to be. Even though one looks like my accountant and the other a Billy Idol wannabe!" The Twins laughed and pointed at Spike and Smith's scowling faces. "Please. I have more humanity in my pinky finger than most accountant's have in their entire bodies." Agent Smith mumbled squeezing his table leg even tighter. "Screw what he said about you! Me?! A Billy Idol wannabe?! He stole MY look, you fur-ball swallowing ponce!" The Cat giggled and smiled as he walked up to the ghampire. "Oh, don't fret, For I'll bet. You don't mind my hassling. At least, not as much As you and your grandsire's slashing!" Spike looked at the oversized cat with pure unadulterated hatred. Agent Smith and the Twins looked between the two and let out a loud "Oooohhhhhhh" that echoed throughout the passageway. "I see you like little diddties, so here's one: You tread on dangerous territory, Pussy, I can barely control my demon. I doubt you'd still have that smirk on your face if I forced you to drink my sem**!" A loud *beep* was heard as Spike said the last word of his rhyme. "Naughty vampire, display such foul etiquette! SHE will not allow it, for this is a PG- 13 fic!"
"Wait a minute, who's SHE?" Two asked, finally deciding to join the conversation instead of laughing at Spike and Smith's pain. "Who is SHE? SHE is the SHE that you cannot see! For SHE rules all that we can visually see. But to truly see is to see SHE, but only if SHE allows!" The Cat whispered in a conspiratorial tone. "Huh?! This cat's hopped up on acid or something. Let's just go look for The Architect and leave this 'hophead' to his business." One replied to the crazy Cat's nonsensical dialogue. "And how could I overlook the Twins? With their identical razors, blazers and grins. But I don't know exactly how happy they could be, considering last time they were seen, they were blown to smithereens!" The Cat finished with a giggle and did a somersault in front of the four completely brassed off killers. " Oh that's it." One said as he kneed The Cat in the stomach and Spike, Two and Agent Smith punched and kicked the green nuisance as Cat fell to the floor. "What do you have to say now, Cat! I really truly wish that right now I had a bat! To hang you by your whiskers, that would be sublime! I wonder how many ways there are to skin a cat alive!" Two recited as he helped the others beat the Cat to a mass of black and white fur, pointy teeth and blood. Smith used his table leg to 'bonk' The Cat in the head as Spike did a Mexican dance on top of it. Opposite the red and white striped door, right next to where the four baddies were beating the hell out of the green Dr. Seuss character, was a door with what seemed to be a large Mexican mask on it. The door opened and out popped the head of the masked wrestler who we occasionally see handing out mail in Wolfram and Hart. "Mucha Lucha!" yelled the Masked Mailman and then he stuck his head back in and closed the door.
"Wait! Look!" One exclaimed. The other three stopped their assault only to see the Cat's face all twisted and distorted. "Wow! We really clobbered him! High five everybody!" Spike high-fived Two, then Agent Smith. He gave a 'thumbs up' to One, who was on the other side of the mangled Cat. "Good on you, mate!" One just looked at the vampire with a tried expression written on his face. "Nooooo. Look! That's not its face! That's a mask!" Spike furrowed his brows in confusion and Agent Smith bent down to remove the mask by pulling on the red and white striped stovepipe hat. Much to the surprise of the three programs and the one Master ghampire, the Cat was revealed to be *DA DA DA*. Mike Meyers! "Strange. Why would anyone want to dress up as such a disgusting creature?" Agent Smith asked perplexed by the change of events. "For an ass-load of money!" Mr. Meyers blurted out, right before he passed out. "Oh bloody Hell. I like Mike Meyers. At least as Austin Powers." Spike pouted and Smith put a reassuring hand on the bottle blonde's shoulder. "Don't worry we'll just tell people that..." "Hold on. I'm not getting chased by another angry mob." Two cried. "No. We'll just say." "Let' me tell you about the story of a man named SHHH!" Spike interrupted putting a finger to his mouth. "No we'll just logically explain." "When a problem comes along, you must Zip it! Zip it good!" Two joined in. "Come on you guys. Why should we be intimidated be the lowly viruses who find his toilet sense of humor amusing?" Agent Smith reasoned. "Hey!" The Twins yelled in unison. "What's so bad about being a virus?!" Two asked defensively. "Yeah!" One hit the Agent in the arm. "Ow. I'm just saying, who do we have to fear?" Smith asked. The other three let out a sigh of relief as Smith's logic seemingly saved the day. But what they failed to remember was that things are not always as they seem.
"AHHHHHHHH!" The four screamed as the floor gave way beneath them and they fell into a room covered in television screens. In front of them was a desk and behind the desk was The Architect!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That was fun.
R&R PLEASE!
Don't make me send The Cat in The Hat to your house! He'll make fun of your obsession with fanfic and the posters of the Twins on the wall.
Love,
Jaded316