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Notes: This was the first fanfic I ever wrote and was written in November 1997, which makes it a second season AU now.
The days passed and a month went by. Willow and Drew were an official couple. Xander's usually sunny self became a little withdrawn, quiet. The change was barely noticeable, but he didn't crack jokes and he often left the room when Willow and Drew were together. No one noticed except Buffy, who cornered him one day as school got out.
"Xander, what's going on?" she demanded.
"I don't know what you mean," he answered. Buffy rolled her eyes and began to list all the oddities she had noticed in his behavior.
He looked at her, considering. "I've got to tell someone, before I explode. I'm dying inside."
"What is it?" Buffy asked.
"I can't stand to see Willow and Drew together."
"Why?"
He took a deep breath. "I'm in love with Willow."
"What!?"
"I know," he said miserably. "I've messed up badly. I just didn't realize until it was too late. What am I going to do?"
Buffy briefly considered telling Xander about Willow's feelings for him. 'No that's Willow's business. Besides something may have changed. She may no longer have feelings for him.' "Xander this is kind of sudden. Are you sure you're really in love with Willow? You've been friends for so long maybe you're just possessive over the thought of losing your friend to a guy."
Xander looked down, ashamed. "No that's not it. But it's almost as bad. I've just been taking Willow for granted. I always thought that she'd be there. And now half the time she's out with Drew and I can't just pick up the phone to talk to her. And now I can't imagine how I ever imagined I liked anyone else. All I can think about is kissing her, holding her in my arms. I don't know if I can take never being able to do that."
"I don't know what to tell you, Xander, but I do know you can't say anything to Willow unless you're very, very sure. Because if you ruined Willow and Drew's relationship for a temporary jealous fit, I don't think Willow would ever forgive you and I know you wouldn't forgive yourself if you lost your friendship with her. And you have to be prepared to deal with the fallout if Willow doesn't feel the same way."
Xander grimaced. "I don't think I have a choice." ----- Drew got off the phone. "I'll call you back as soon as I can, Jeremy. Cross your fingers." 'I have to talk to Aunt Linda and Uncle Jeff.' An hour later he was back on the phone. "They said yes, Jeremy! They said yes! But they need to talk to your parents." He handed the phone over to Mrs. Harris.
"I've got to go, I have a date with Willow tonight." Mr. and Mrs. Harris nodded.
"You have to tell her," Mr. Harris said as Drew left the house.
"I know." And Drew was gone. ----- "You're early," Willow exclaimed when she opened the door.
"I know, can we talk?"
"Um, sure," she said. 'Uh oh.' She let him in. "My mom's out for the evening. What's going on?"
"Jeremy called. You know, my best friend from Portland?"
"I remember you talking about him."
"Well he told me that he's been trying to convince his parents to let me move in with them and he didn't want to get my hopes up until he was sure. But they've been thinking about it for awhile and they've decided they want me to live with them."
Willow's eyes widened. "Are you going to?"
"Yeah, I talked about it with my aunt and uncle and they said okay. It's great for me. I can go back to Portland and my own high school. I'll be with all my own friends and I'm as close with Jeremy and his parents as you are with Xander and his parents. Jeremy and I have been friends since we were born. Our parents took Lamaze classes together and hit it off." 'I'm so excited I'm rambling,' he thought. His expression grew even more serious. "The thing is, I really like you Willow, but . . ."
"But you're moving back to Portland and you've got a whole 'nother life there."
"Yeah, I never meant to hurt you Willow, but we've only been dating a short time. I don't want to carry on a long-distance relationship. I don't want to get that serious about anyone. Can you understand that?"
Willow smiled. "Of course, I can, silly! This is the best thing that could have happened to you. And we were friends before we were boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't want a long-distance relationship either."
Drew smiled, relieved. "We still friends?"
"Of course, and you better call me and not forget about me when you get back to Portland."
"I could never forget about you." They hugged.
"When are you leaving?"
"Next week."
"What does Xander think?"
Drew's eyes widened. "He doesn't know yet. He went for a walk after dinner and that's when Jeremy called."
"I'm sure he'll be as happy for you as I am."
"Thanks, Willow."
"Anytime."
Drew was whistling as he left Willow's house. ----- Xander walked and walked thinking about what Buffy had said. Finally he came to a decision. 'I need to talk to Willow.'
Willow looked up in surprise where there was a knock at the door. "Drew? Xander!" she said when she saw him standing on her porch looking miserable and determined all at the same time.
"Can I come in?" Wordlessly, Willow moved aside to let him in. He walked into the living room and sat on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath.
"I know you've got a date with Drew tonight so I'll try to be quick."
"Xander," Willow began.
"No let me finish, while I still have the courage and the adrenaline rush. I know you like Drew a lot, but I can't stand to see the two of you together. It's eating me up with jealously. Willow, I love you. I think I've loved you forever, I just didn't know it."
"Xander?"
"Let me finish. I took you for granted. I always thought you'd be around and it took seeing you with another guy to make me realize what I was missing out on. I know you'd be my friend no matter how many guys you go out with, but I want more than that. You probably think I'm a jerk for saying all this and I wouldn't blame you, but I had to say it."
"Xander," she tried, but he continued on without pausing for breath.
"I know you don't have feelings for me, but couldn't we at least try it? You've known me much longer than you've known Drew. We're good friends. Shouldn't relationships be based on that? I promise you I'll never take you for granted again and I'll always cherish you," he finished with surprising eloquence.
"Xander!" Willow said finally, exasperated.
"What?" he said, preparing himself to be crushed.
"Yes, I think you're a jerk." His heart fell. "But, I still like you even so. Yes, we can try it. If you'd let me talk I would have told you Drew and I already broke up. He's moving back to Portland," she took a deep breath. "And you didn't ask but I love you, too."
"I understand," Xander mumbled and got up to leave. Then he did a double-take. "What? Really!"
"Really," Willow affirmed, giggling.
Xander knew just what to say. "Willow, will you kiss me? There's this girl I like and I want to make sure I know exactly what to do."
Willow grinned. "I think we can work something out."
Finis