CHAPTER SIX

Escape!

(For real this time!)

Before he knew it, Kurama had fallen asleep. He hadn't intended to, nor had he wanted to, but he did. Two hours later, Karasu showed up. He opened the little sliding window on the door and saw his 'prisoner' was sleeping.

'How cute,' he thought. He opened the door.

"Kurama, wake up," he said, kneeling beside him and shaking him slightly. The boy woke up, but he kept his eyes closed, still half-asleep and oblivious.

"Get up," Karasu instructed.

"I don't... want... to..." Kurama's mind slowly kicked into gear and started working properly, and his eyes snapped open. He looked up at Karasu.

"Back off!" he said, shooing Karasu away with one hand while he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"Come with me," Karasu said, standing up and walking back to the door.

"What? Why?"

"We're going to take a little walk."

"No. We're not."

"Yeah we are. Come on."

"Where to?"

"A higher security room."

"Why?"

"Because you almost escaped once, I can't risk it again."

"The room had nothing to do with that, Karasu. That was your fault."

"Shut up! Nothing's ever my fault, so I'm blaming the room. Come with me."

"No offense, but that's just really pathetic," Kurama muttered, standing up. "I'm not leaving this room, Karasu. Not unless I'm leaving this building and never going to see you again."

"You're coming with me! Don't make me hurt you."

"Ha! That's a laugh. You'd hurt me? Ha ha ha."

"Kurama, I'm warning you..."

"That's a laugh too." Kurama knew he was just digging his own grave, deeper with every rude comment he made.

"That's it. Come on," Karasu snapped, grabbing Kurama's arm.

"Damn."

Karasu pulled Kurama out the door and into the hallway.

"But it wasn't the room's fault! It was your fault! Why must you go switching rooms on me?" Kurama asked. This could screw up his plans, big time. The tiniest thing...

"Shut up! I want you in a different room, and if you don't shut up about it, you'll be bound, gagged, and dragged to the room by that pretty red hair of yours!" Karasu snapped. Kurama shut his mouth.

If it weren't for the fact that Karasu had a hold of his arm, and that he already had put some of his energy into him, Kurama would have run. But he needed something else. Something that would severely maul Karasu and knock him unconscious.

They rounded a corner and Karasu slammed straight into something, falling over and dragging Kurama down with him.

The boy looked up. Standing there, looking startled, was a guy wearing a bright colored button-up shirt that looked like it belonged in Hawaii, carrying a surfboard. Apparently, he had accidentally hit Karasu as they came around the corner.

"Random surfer dude?" Kurama said, surprised.

"What? Oh, hey, dude! Never thought I'd see you here!" the man said.

Note: They met the random surfer dude in 'Separation Situation'. I've kinda decided to make him a reoccurring character... He's just some guy in a bright colored shirt that walks around carrying a surfboard, and he's always got some point in the story, and it's usually important. But he doesn't even have a name! He's just the random surfer dude. Nameless random surfer dude.

"Yeah, same goes for me," Kurama muttered, staring at Karasu. He was out cold on the floor. Sudden realization rushed over the boy. "Surfer dude, you just saved my life! If I don't blow this..."

"I saved your life? Dude, that is like, totally tubular!" the guy said.

"Yeah, really. Um... I gotta go," Kurama said, standing up. "Thanks a million. See you later..." The boy took off down the hall.

Hiei jumped out of the tree he'd been sleeping in. He jabbed Shadow in the ribs. "Hey! Get up, you lazy bag of---"

"I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T KILL HIM!" Shadow screamed, sitting up so fast she slammed her head into Hiei's, knocking him over backwards.

"KILL WHO?!" Eclipse asked, sitting up just as fast as Shadow had. "IT WASN'T ME!!!"

"Guilty conscience?" Hiei asked. "Well, I can understand Shadow. She's the one who feeds people to weasels... But who has Eclipse killed to make her have such a guilty conscience?"

"It comes from being friends with Shadow," Eclipse said, knowing that excuse would work.

"Come on, you can tell us who you killed! I'll be proud of you, you know that!" Shadow said. Eclipse looked at her friend innocently.

"I didn't kill anyone!"

Shadow got a horrified look on her face. "YOU KILLED THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY!?! YOU EVIL, EVIL CREATURE!!! HIEI!!! ECLIPSE KILLED THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!"

"Um... No comment?" Hiei said.

"YOU! YOU HELPED HER, I BET!!!"

"I DID NOT! THAT THING ISN'T EVEN A REAL PERSON! IT'S A BLOB OF DOUGH WITH A FACE! WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S CALLED THE DOUGH BOY?! IT'S NOT WORTH MY TIME TO KILL A BLOB OF DOUGH!" Hiei retorted.

"HOW DARE YOU? ECLIPSE KILLED IT, IT HAS TO BE REAL!"

"I didn't... um... kill anything. You're delusional," Eclipse said nervously.

"Well then who killed it?" Shadow asked.

"Nobody. As far as I know, nothing has happened to the Pillsbury dough boy," Eclipse said.

"IT'S IMMORTAL?! OH MY GOD! IT'S AN IMMORTAL BLOB OF DOUGH! WITH A FACE!!! IT CAN'T GET MUCH WORSE THAN THAT!!!" Shadow screamed. "WE'RE DOOMED!!!"

"What is she talking about?" Kei asked, suddenly on Hiei's shoulder.

"Never mind. She's having some problems with mental stability," Hiei replied.

"Oh. Well it's rather disturbing," the lizard replied. Shadow screamed, pointing at Kei.

"HOLY GOD! IT'S A TALKING LIZARD! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? LIZARDS CAN TALK!? SINCE WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!"

"Shadow, I've been with you since yesterday. Or was it even the day before?" Kei said.

"Just yesterday."

"OH, HOLY GOD! THERE'S BEEN A TALKING LIZARD RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE FOR TWO DAYS AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!!!"

"One day," Eclipse corrected.

"Shut up, child. Don't change the subject on me," Shadow snapped.

"I wasn't! I was correcting you."

"Well don't do that, either! Just don't talk to me and we'll both be happy!"

"Hey! Bitch!"

"YOU! YOU DARE TO CALL ME A BITCH!? IF ANYONE, YOU ARE A BITCH!!!"

"HEY! WATCH THE LANGUAGE, WOULD YOU?!" Hiei screamed.

"NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

"WANNA BET?"

"YES!"

"Too bad. I don't gamble," Hiei said. Shadow exploded.

"YES YOU DO, YOU LYING PIECE OF CRAP! WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT TIME WE WERE PLAYING POKER? OR SHOULD I SAY TIMES? WITH AN 'S'!!! YOU BET!!! THAT'S GAMBLING!!! SO YOU ARE A LOUSY LYING PIECE OF S---"

"SO WHAT IF I BET? I DIDN'T GAMBLE! THE DEFINITION OF GAMBLE IS WHEN THERE'S MORE THAN ONE POSSIBILITY FOR THE OUTCOME! THOSE GAMES WERE JUST 'PUT SOME MONEY ON THE TABLE AND WATCH YOUKO KURAMA TAKE IT WHEN HE WINS' GAMES!!!"

"WE DON'T GO BY THAT DEFINITION OF GAMBLE! WHEN YOU BET ON A GAME, THAT'S GAMBLING! SO GET A LIFE!"

"I HAVE A LIFE, AND IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON!"

"ASSHOLE!" Shadow screamed.

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM-- You know, I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'll stop now," Hiei said. "We have to find Kurama."

"Kurama... You mean that guy with the red hair and green eyes?" Shadow asked. "About six feet tall, real smart, quiet fellow... About sixteen years old... Cute guy with a sexy alter ego?"

Hiei sweatdropped. "Well, if that's how you think of him... I thought you hated Youko?"

"Yes, but I can't get past the fact that he's sexy," Shadow muttered. Hiei sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

"I think I'm going to die! I can't believe I just said that! Oh... I'm gonna cry now," Shadow said, dropping to the ground and curling up with her hands over her head. "What happened to my pure, beautiful, NORMAL mind? Youko is not sexy! He's a perverted asshole!"

Hiei and Eclipse sweatdropped. Yusuke, somehow, slept through this all. As usual. Somehow he manages to sleep through everything and anything.

"Shadow... We know Youko is a lousy piece of crap, but could we get going? We have to find Kurama," Hiei said. Shadow's eyes bulged at the mention of Kurama's name.

"Kurama! He's the one who transforms into Youko! Why should I want to find him?!"

"He's your friend! He can keep Youko under control, don't worry. He's not going to show up and harass you," Hiei said. 'At least, we hope not.'

"He better not! I'll kill something!"

"The Pillsbury dough boy?" Eclipse suggested.

"NO! Don't hurt the blob of dough! What'd he ever do to you!?" Shadow asked.

"... Nothing, but--"

"SO WHY WOULD YOU KILL HIM?!"

"What'd all those door-to-door salesmen ever do to you to make you want to kill them!?" Eclipse asked. "Feeding people to weasels!"

"They came to my door! They invaded my privacy! They tried to waste my precious time and money on bull crap! I bet half that stuff they sell doesn't even work! You can buy it in the store for about half the price! I saw on a TV show once that this lady tricked this guy into buying water buy telling him it was the best cleaner ever, and she was wearing some skimpy outfit and that's the only reason that pervert bought it! Pervert?! AH! YOUKO! Youko's a pervert."

"Shadow, let's go. Get a life," Hiei said.

"But what about Yusuke and Mai?" Kei asked.

"Oh. I forgot about them," Hiei muttered. He walked over and screamed something in Yusuke's ear, but he said it so fast that nobody understood it. The boy was up in a second with Mai over his shoulder, ready to go.

"Let's go!"

"Well that was interesting," Eclipse muttered. They headed into the forest.

Kurama ran. He ran as fast as he could through the seemingly endless maze of hallways. He had a feeling he was getting farther this time. He hadn't had to hide from any passing guards, and since Karasu was unconscious, he wasn't going to come and drag him back any time soon.

"YOU!" somebody yelled. "STOP!"

'Damn. Just when I think I'm getting somewhere...' Kurama thought. He sped up and turned a corner.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" the voice behind him yelled again.

Suddenly, Kurama saw, through a window on a door, trees!

He slammed on his breaks to keep from going face-first into the door, grabbed the doorknob, and turned it. It was open.

"YES!" He ripped the door open and ran outside, still hearing the yells from behind him.

"Find anything yet?" Shadow asked dryly.

"Nope," Eclipse replied.

Hiei had suggested they split up. He'd sent Mai off with Eclipse and Shadow, and he had stayed with Yusuke.

"Me neither. I wonder what happened to Mai?"

"I'm here!" Mai whined from behind them. They spun around. The little girl was nothing but mud from head to toe. Shadow burst out laughing.

"HA, LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE COVERED IN MUD! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU?" she yelled.

"I fell. In the mud."

Shadow laughed even harder. Eclipse was standing there with her mouth shut, not sure whether or not to laugh maniacally or not. She finally gave in and laughed so hard she was in danger of asphyxiating (suffocating).

"Stop laughing at me! You're mean! I'm going to tell Yusuke-san about this!"

"Go ahead! He can't do anything to me! He already found that out the hard way," Shadow said. "Remember the bloody nose and black eye? It's already more or less completely normal now, but still, it was there."

"Have you now replaced Hiei with Yusuke?" Eclipse asked suddenly.

"Replaced?"

"Yeah. You were loving Hiei and everything, now you've got Yusuke. Hiei ditched you. Loser," Shadow said. Mai's eyes welled up with tears.

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed, running off in the general direction of 'away.'

"Whatever. Hate away..." Shadow shrugged. "Not like you're the first. Half the world hates me. In particular, Hiei's and Kurama's fan girls... They despise me. But do you see me caring? Nope."

"I'm supposing you're over your mental breakdown?" Eclipse asked hopefully.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine now."

"GOOD." Eclipse said, sounding truly relieved.

Kurama stopped and spun around to face his pursuers. A whole group, about five, had gathered on his tail.

"YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER!" one yelled.

"No shit, Sherlock," Kurama retorted.

"GIVE IN NOW!!!"

"Shut up, idiot! He stopped!" another one snapped, hitting the yeller.

"Oh... I didn't see that."

"Obviously," Kurama muttered.

"So, you're ready to give up?" the smarter one asked.

"No. I'm ready to fight," Kurama replied.

"Fight?! Us? You must be kidding! We'll have you bound, gagged, and back to Karasu-sama before you even know what happened!"

"Yeah, well let's see it," Kurama snapped. He pulled his rose from his hair.

"Oooooh, a scary rose!" the stupider one said.

Kurama flicked the rose out into a whip and lashed out with it, cutting off the man's arm before he even realized it.

"Why don't you do something with your scary rose?"

"Uh... He already did, baka," the intelligent one informed him.

"What? OH MY GOD! MY ARM IS MISSING!" He passed out.

"One down, four to go," Kurama said.

"So glad you can count. Why don't you COUNT THIS!" the intelligent one yelled, charging.

"I can't believe this! Hiei is Yukina's brother... No way. This is impossible. I can't believe it."

Kuwabara had been ranting about it ever since he found out. Yukina had gotten sick of it and went home. Now he was sitting in his room talking to himself. A sudden thought passed through his mind.

"You know, Urameshi never came back from buying donuts. That's stupid. How can anyone take more than two days to buy some lousy donuts? Well! The great Kuwabara will have to venture forth to buy his own donuts!"

With that little thought, Kuwabara headed out the door.

Hiei's and Shadow's groups rejoined.

"Find anything?" Hiei asked.

"Nope."

"Damn. Well, we'd better keep looking. We've got to find something, eventually," Hiei muttered.

"Um... I think I just found something," Shadow said.

"Really? What?"

"Look over there," she said, pointing. On the other side of a nearby clearing, two people were fighting. One had long silvery hair, fox ears, and a fox tail, and the other one was rather a strange looking demon that somewhat resembled a monkey.

"Well, that's definitely a discovery," Hiei said. He led the way across the field to the fight.

"Oi, Kurama!" Yusuke yelled. The fox was distracted for a split second and looked at the group. His opponent got in one good punch and sent him flying.

"Oh, good move, Yusuke!" Shadow snapped.

"That had to hurt," Eclipse muttered.

"But I thought Kurama had red hair and green eyes?" Kei asked.

"He has two forms. This is his demon form," Hiei explained.

"His sexy demon form, according to Shadow," Eclipse reminded him. Shadow kicked her friend in the shin and sent her hopping away whining.

Youko lay where he had landed after being sent through two trees. With a groan, he sat up, just in time to see his opponent coming towards him. The kitsune jumped up and dodged the next hit. He'd been fighting with the group for at least half an hour. This one was the last one surviving.

All Kurama (either form) had gotten out of the fight was one small cut on his face and a rip in his shirt, and he had managed to kill four out of the five demons.

"Go Youko!" Shadow yelled.

"Shadow thinks you're sexy!" Yusuke shouted. Instantly, Shadow tackled the boy and started strangling him and beating his head off the ground. Nobody paid attention to this. Youko was so startled by what he'd heard, he barely managed to dodge the next attack, and he got another rip in his shirt. OH MY GOD! Nothing that a piece of thread and a needle won't solve...

Finally deciding he was getting sick of dodging, Youko easily slaughtered his opponent. He sauntered over to the group, where Shadow was still mangling Yusuke, and Mai was still missing. Nobody had noticed either of these yet, except Eclipse.

"Are you okay?" Hiei asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Where were you, and who was that demon you were fighting?"

"I was--"

"KURAMA!!!"

"Oh shit!" Youko spun around to see none other than Karasu.

"Karasu! I knew it!" Hiei said.

"How did you know?" Karasu asked.

"I met a talking lizard. NO, I'm not insane." Hiei said the last part to Youko, who looked at his friend like he'd finally been around Shadow too long.

"Oh, so you met Kei?" Karasu said.

"What? How did you know his name?"

"He's my spy!"

"Oh, for God's sake, where is the world going when people use talking lizards as spies?" Hiei questioned, saying it to no one in particular.

"He's a demon! He can morph into a lizard, much the same as Kurama here can become a fox," Karasu said. "Kei, transform to show them your humanoid form."

Kei jumped off Hiei's shoulder and transformed into a man of average height, with reptile-like black eyes and scales up his arms, shoulders, neck, and on his face.

"Oh, how very interesting," Hiei said dryly. "I hate when things have a twist like this..."

"You don't like twists, Hiei? Well you'll hate this! I'm not really Karasu!" Karasu paused, reaching up to the top of his head. He grabbed a zipper and zipped it down to reveal Koenma. "I'M REALLY KOENMA!!!"

Everybody's jaw dropped.

The now-Koenma-but-used-to-be-Karasu held up a can with 'Pepsi' written on it. "And this isn't really a Pepsi!" Koenma unzipped the can. It now said 'Pepsi Twist' on it with a lemon.

"It's really a Pepsi Twist! With lemon!"

Everybody sweatdropped. Youko looked horrified.

"If that's true, then Koenma was the one molesting me!"

Everybody's jaws dropped.

***Suddenly, something cuts the scene into a million pieces and it falls apart, revealing a black nothingness behind it. Everything is completely silent. Suddenly, the author lady appears. Yes, the author who was hanging out with Karasu earlier and strongly resembles Shadow.

GIRL: Let's pretend that never happened. We'll go back in time to the point that Kei transformed.

The screen fades back to how everyone looked at the point after Kei transformed.***

"Oh, how very interesting," Hiei said dryly. "I hate when things have a twist like this..."

"Get used to it," Karasu said coldly. "Here's the next twist: You are going to die. Kurama is mine."

"MY KURAMA!" Shadow screamed, jumping up with her arms wrapped around Youko's neck and her legs around his waist.

Everybody stared at her. Youko would have stared, but she was on his back, so he couldn't very well see her. This was extremely un-Shadow-like behavior.

"Shadow? What are you doing?" Hiei asked. "I thought you hated-- Mmph!"

Youko clamped his hand over Hiei's mouth.

"SHADOW! STOP IT, YOU'RE SCARING US ALL!" Eclipse screamed. "YOU HATE HIM!!!"

Eclipse managed to get that out before Youko could clamp his hand on her mouth. But he did it anyway to keep her from repeating it.

"According to Yusuke, she did say I was sexy..."

Hiei pried Youko's hand off his mouth. "Could we just get on with this? I mean, seriously, Shadow, get off his back. If you like him so much, you can hang off his back later. Right now, we have to kill Karasu and lizard-boy over here."

"My fox!"

"Oh, for God's sake," Hiei muttered. "Where's Yus-- kay? Holy God! What happened to him?!"

"I mangled him because he told Youko that I think he's sexy, which is really none... of........ his......... business...? WHAT THE HELL?!" Shadow said, leaping backwards ten feet from Youko's back.

"SHADOW HAS SPLIT PERSONALITY!!!" Hiei screamed.

"WHO CARES?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FEARING ME! FIGHT ME! FIGHT ME!!!" Karasu screamed, taking a swing at Hiei. The fire demon dodged and shot off in another direction.

"RUN!" Shadow screamed, taking off into the forest. Eclipse followed her, yelling random curses.

"SHADOW! COWARD!" Hiei yelled, but the girl was out of hearing range already. leaving Hiei and Youko alone to fight Karasu and Kei.

One and a half hours later...

"I wonder what happened to-- Never mind," Shadow said. She looked to the edge of the forest, about twenty feet away. Hiei and Kurama, now in his human form, walked out. Kurama was carrying Yusuke's still-unconscious body. Mai was trailing behind them both.

"Oh. There they are," Hiei said coldly. The two walked up to meet the girls.

"Decided to ditch out on us, huh?" Kurama asked.

"Mad? Not like we could have helped," Shadow said.

"Youko thought otherwise..." Kurama muttered. "What was the deal with all that with Youko? You think he's sexy? And why did you latch onto his back like that?"

"I HAVE SPLIT PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!" Shadow screamed. "BUT IT'S NOT SPLIT PERSONALITY!!!"

"What?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I kinda just zone out and do things that I wouldn't normally do in my normal, sane frame of mind," Shadow explained.

"YOU? SANE?! You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm sane! Don't diss me! So how'd your fight go? You look kinda beat up."

"You changed the subject. Oh well. It's obvious we won, isn't it?" Hiei asked.

"Yes, pretty much."

"Okay, that's all you need to know. Let's go."

"Go? Where?"

"HOME, dipshit!"

"Oh. Yeah. That place. Okay, yeah, let's go," Shadow said.

They started for home. Woohoo for home!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, don't even ask about this chapter. It's just kinda strange. I don't know what the deal with the Pepsi Twist thing was, but anyway, don't drink Pepsi. Enjoy an ice-cold Coca Cola! My dad works for Coca Cola, so I can't favor Pepsi, and I don't favor Pepsi. It's just that the Pepsi Twist commercial popped into my mind when I was writing that, so I put it in there.

If it's against some ff.net rules to advertise things like that, SOR-RY!!! I didn't know.

Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with ownership of any part of Coca Cola or Pepsi, so don't think I do.