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Acknowledgements: First and foremost, thanks skripka2 for the excellent, excellent beta. Any mistakes that remain are because I'm a stubborn bitca. Thanks also to skripka2 for posting the original link to Zompist, to Shanna Marie for proposing a fic challenge and Ailine for assigning me my line. The line "shut up and deal" is taken from "The Apartment" (1961) by Billy Wilder and "Ni xiang zhuan qian ma?" is from the Chinese phrasebook at Zompist. The transliteration of qingwa cao de liumang is courtesy hcwoodward. All other Chinese phrases are from the transcripts at "Whoa. Good Myth."
Notes: At the time I wrote this, I had not yet seen the episodes that didn't air in the U.S. Therefore, it is spoiler free for those eps. I wrote this for a challenge. My challenge was for Mal to say "Ni xiang zhuan qian ma?" (Do you want to make money fast?)
Ni xiang zhuan qian ma?: Do you want to make money fast?
dong ma: understand
Hundan: bastard
When Inara returned with the deputy, she shook her head at Mal and Zoe. She hadn't seen Jayne and Simon. Mal nodded at her. "Well, deputy," she said. "I can see that this was just a big misunderstanding. I don't think there is any need for me to press charges."
The deputy grinned. "That's just great, ma'am. Lottie and Zuzu'll be real happy to hear it."
"Good day," Inara said and left.
The deputy watched her go. It took a moment for his brain to realize that Mal and Zoe were still there. "Can I help you folks with something?" he said.
Mal swept his duster back and pulled out his gun. "Where are my boys?" he said.
Zoe sighed and took out her own gun. "Sir, you promised Shepherd you'd try a non-violent solution first."
Mal rolled his eyes. "That I did," he said. "Still sounds like a stupid idea."
The deputy gaped. He couldn't even remember where his gun was. "Sir?" Zoe prompted.
Mal shot her a dirty look. "Fine," he said. "Ni xiang zhuan qian ma?"
The deputy looked puzzled. "A course," he said. "Who wouldn't?"
"See sir, sometimes the non-violent approach is the easiest."
"Kind of expensive, though."
"That too."
Mal pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket. "You don't know how the prisoners escaped. You didn't see us, dong ma?" The deputy nodded vigorously. "Now where are they?" ----- Back on Serenity, once he'd taken care of Jayne, Simon fell into an exhausted slumber. ----- When Book walked into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea he found Jayne cleaning his knife collection and cursing softly to himself. "Quite an adventure you had," Book said.
"Yep," Jayne said, blowing on the knife in his hand.
Book started to heat some water. "No surprise you're a mite tetchy."
A faint rose color stained Jayne's cheek as he realized exactly what he'd been muttering when the Shepherd walked in. "My leg's bothering me."
"I can go ask the doctor for some pain medication," Book said as he got a cup out.
"No!" Jayne yelped. "I mean, he's probably asleep. I don't think he got much before."
"Probably so," Book agreed. He sat down to wait for the water to heat. Jayne returned to cleaning his knives. There was silence for a moment. "You ever think about dying, Shepherd?"
"Sometimes," he said. He got up and poured the water into his cup.
"I don't. But back in that jail, I was dying. I knew it. It's not the way I wanted to go. Not lying in a dirty hole. But the doc, he ... aw, hell," Jayne said. "I don't know what I'm talking about."
"Way I see it that boy saved your life and now you want to thank him, but you don't know how. I suspect you're not used to owing people."
Jayne snorted. "I don't owe that pretty boy, nothin'!" He slapped the knife down and picked up the next one. "Mal pays him for doctoring."
Book took a sip of tea. "I wasn't there," he said. "But I saw the two of you. You really think that boy was just doing his job?"
"Hundan," Jayne cursed quietly. He focused intently on his task for a moment, before exclaiming suddenly, "I could teach him to shoot."
"It wouldn't hurt," Book said. "But I'm not sure that's what Simon needs right now."
"Gorramit," Jayne said. "It's not like he'd be accepting of my fashion advice."
Book laughed. "I'm going back to my bunk. I'm sure if you think about what that boy and his sister need, you'll find a way to thank him." ----- "Well," Mal said. "Looks like you saved Jayne's life."
"Looks like," Simon said, putting away the newly sterilized instruments.
"You still thinkin' you're a danger to this crew?" Mal picked one of the instruments up. "I believe this goes over here," he said.
Simon looked at the instrument and flushed. "You're right. I guess I'm still a little tired."
"Or a mite distracted," Mal said. "You still thinking about leaving?"
"Kaylee ..."
"Kaylee's a grown woman. She can take care of herself. And when she can't, there's a whole ship of people watching her back. That's what it means to be part of a crew. 'Sides, this life ain't never been risk-free, Tams or no."
"Maybe," Simon said.
"No maybe," Mal said. "This crew needs a doctor and you're the best one I know." He paused. "And the only one who'll put up with us, for that matter."
Simon shrugged. Mal clapped him on the back. "Think on it," he said.
"I will. I'd better go. I've got a patient to check on."
"Night, Doc." Mal said.
"Good night." ----- Simon walked into the dining room. "How's the leg?" he said.
Jayne grunted. Simon sat down at the table and began to shuffle the deck that been left lying there. He didn't know anymore what the right thing was.
"Doc," Jayne said, ducking his head and staring intently at the knife he was polishing. "I didn't want you here, but Mal ..." Jayne shook his head and spit. Started over. "Mal weren't wrong. Letting you stay? He weren't wrong."
Silence. Jayne looked up. "Doc?"
Simon smiled. He understood, finally. Kaylee wasn't his responsibility; she was part of his crew. They were all part of his crew. And he was part of theirs.
"Doc?" Jayne said again. He gave Simon a suspicious look. "You planning to say something?" he said.
Simon slid the pile of cards over. "Shut up and deal." Jayne grinned.
Wash and Kaylee came into the galley. Kaylee halted when she saw Simon. Wash began to make a cup of tea.
"It's nice to be home," Simon said, hesitantly, looking at Kaylee.
"Home?" She folded her arms across her chest.
"Yes." Kaylee continued to pout. "I mean, yeah." Simon swallowed. "She's a rutting good ship." Kaylee laughed.
"She is," she agreed.
Simon stood and pulled out a chair for her. "Do you want to join us? You too, Wash?" They all sat down. Wash looked at his cards and began to snicker.
"You got something to share, little man?" Jayne growled.
Wash looked back and forth between the Jayne and Simon. He began to laugh outright. "Naked?"
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