To: Roxanne@mailtogo.com
From: Mia@mailtogo.com
Time: "TIME"
Date: "DATE"
I'm writing you about what happened today. You can delete this or read this. I just need to be able to type this out and know it's going somewhere.
Today, of course, started out normal. I woke up and did my normal things. Got on the bus, went to school. Again, the usual. I got to school, yet, the bus ride was horrible. No one understands me so I try to blast the music from my cd player as loud as I can only, it doesn't block out all the rude comments they're making. I finally got to my half locker, grabbed my books before the locker above me opens to drop more books on my head. I ended up slitting my finger up against the locker (more like took a chunk of skin out of it), it started bleeding, but of course I just wiped away the blood. It was nothing new. I got to first hour, the only person in the class. Sat my books down and walked to the drinking fountain, checked my watch, 5 minutes until class starts. Oh goodie. I talked to the people around me. Then the bell rang, 2nd Hour, 3rd, 4th. I have 4th hour lunch again for the 3rd year in a row. Aren't you in 9th grade? I'm in 8th. Well, I always sit with the same people. Eat the same things. I used to call these people my friends but then they started talking behind my back. I wouldn't tolerate that. I tried to talk to them, but they wouldn't understand.
~Hiding Under Cover~
You don't seem to understand me,
Even though I'm trying to get you to see,
All the feelings I've been hiding,
And I'm really trying,
To give you the change to see,
Beyond my intense cover hiding me,
Would you even take the chance?
Or would you be in a trance,
That only lets you,
Have something else to do,
Because once you get past the cover,
I'll tell you everything I've been dying over,
And you'll begin to see what I really mean,
You won't fall head over heels,
But would you at least let down your shield,
All the feelings I've been hiding,
That I've been deciding,
Searching for a way to find my heart,
So that it can be apart,
Of that cover I'm putting down,
To surround,
My feelings that you're hearing,
That may be steering,
You away from me,
But now I'm free,
And you can see I'm really trying,
(This is not finished)
Doesn't that poem relate to my situation, a bit? It always seems to me that I'm not getting a fair chance; does it ever feel like that to you? Like, when you're trying really hard to explain something to someone and they leave to talk to someone else. And how does that make you feel? That's what my therapist would say, well in one word, Unimportant. I can think about it daily. The fact that no one listens, it's quite easy around here to feel less and less important to what's going on around you. It actually seems so natural. Everyone needs attention. Sometimes they want to be the center of it. They don't realize it though. But when you're knocked away by a friend, you definitely do not feel important.
My day flew and as I talked to more people the more voice I gained back. The bus ride home wasn't so bad. My music was on lower. But when I got home, the attitude I'd kept insides all day just begun to burst out. My parents seem to order me around the minute I walk in. Of course, I'm the kid and they're the adult. I have to do everything they say. I lose my voice the minute I gain it back.
No one seems to notice the damage they do. Well, that's about it.
Thanks,
Me.
From: Mia@mailtogo.com
Time: "TIME"
Date: "DATE"
I'm writing you about what happened today. You can delete this or read this. I just need to be able to type this out and know it's going somewhere.
Today, of course, started out normal. I woke up and did my normal things. Got on the bus, went to school. Again, the usual. I got to school, yet, the bus ride was horrible. No one understands me so I try to blast the music from my cd player as loud as I can only, it doesn't block out all the rude comments they're making. I finally got to my half locker, grabbed my books before the locker above me opens to drop more books on my head. I ended up slitting my finger up against the locker (more like took a chunk of skin out of it), it started bleeding, but of course I just wiped away the blood. It was nothing new. I got to first hour, the only person in the class. Sat my books down and walked to the drinking fountain, checked my watch, 5 minutes until class starts. Oh goodie. I talked to the people around me. Then the bell rang, 2nd Hour, 3rd, 4th. I have 4th hour lunch again for the 3rd year in a row. Aren't you in 9th grade? I'm in 8th. Well, I always sit with the same people. Eat the same things. I used to call these people my friends but then they started talking behind my back. I wouldn't tolerate that. I tried to talk to them, but they wouldn't understand.
~Hiding Under Cover~
You don't seem to understand me,
Even though I'm trying to get you to see,
All the feelings I've been hiding,
And I'm really trying,
To give you the change to see,
Beyond my intense cover hiding me,
Would you even take the chance?
Or would you be in a trance,
That only lets you,
Have something else to do,
Because once you get past the cover,
I'll tell you everything I've been dying over,
And you'll begin to see what I really mean,
You won't fall head over heels,
But would you at least let down your shield,
All the feelings I've been hiding,
That I've been deciding,
Searching for a way to find my heart,
So that it can be apart,
Of that cover I'm putting down,
To surround,
My feelings that you're hearing,
That may be steering,
You away from me,
But now I'm free,
And you can see I'm really trying,
(This is not finished)
Doesn't that poem relate to my situation, a bit? It always seems to me that I'm not getting a fair chance; does it ever feel like that to you? Like, when you're trying really hard to explain something to someone and they leave to talk to someone else. And how does that make you feel? That's what my therapist would say, well in one word, Unimportant. I can think about it daily. The fact that no one listens, it's quite easy around here to feel less and less important to what's going on around you. It actually seems so natural. Everyone needs attention. Sometimes they want to be the center of it. They don't realize it though. But when you're knocked away by a friend, you definitely do not feel important.
My day flew and as I talked to more people the more voice I gained back. The bus ride home wasn't so bad. My music was on lower. But when I got home, the attitude I'd kept insides all day just begun to burst out. My parents seem to order me around the minute I walk in. Of course, I'm the kid and they're the adult. I have to do everything they say. I lose my voice the minute I gain it back.
No one seems to notice the damage they do. Well, that's about it.
Thanks,
Me.