Disclaimer:I own nothing.
Note: I just can't stop....for give me
Chapter 15 Forgiveness
Seajae sat behind the wheel of her car and looked at the street in front of her. Too many cars lined her street for eleven o'clock on a Wendesday night. Too many cars she knew. She rubbed her her eyes. All she wanted to do was go to bed. Now she had to face at least seven or eight people she loved dearly but didn't want to deal with. Not now. Not today. Stepping out of her car she lit a cigarette and took a deep breath. It smelled like snow. They didn't need that either. Slamming the door she took two steps toward the brownstone when she heard something. Without thinking she dropped her cigarette and pulled out her gun.
"Sorry." The horse wisper came from the stairwell of the basement apartment.
"Jack?"
"I came down to......get some air."
"Yeah,,,well you need to be more carefull. There's a lot of peolple who carry guns around here." She reholstered her gun. "I'm sorry about this afternoon Jack. I have issues and now really wasn't a good time."
"I know." He looked at the beauty his niece had become. Her black curls were now blond. Other then her brown eyes there wasn't a stich of her mothers Indian heratige to be seen. Cathleen had been a beauty in everyway. Seajae was too. But there was a hardess about her that he knew was a defence to scare people away. But the people around her wern't scared. They loved her and protected her when he couldn't.
"When do you have to leave?"
"Tomarrow. I have a one o'clock flight."
"Are they all mad at me?"
"Who? Your friends?" Jack smiled. Seajae ached. It was her fathers smile. She remembered little of him but his smile was embeded in her heart. "No Seajae. They could never be mad at you."
"Oh yes they can." She sat on the cold step. "I've done a lot of stupid things in my life."
"And you have all these people to remind you of that and stand by you."
"I would of liked to have you standing by me."
"I'm here now." He sat next to her. "I saw you being born Seajae. Your mom....she wanted you more then anything in this world. You were going to be the glue that held our family together. There was something going on and I wanted to know what the hell it was. It was like the day you were born you saved the world. We all had to be there. In the room. My parents, my sister and her husband. Everyone was there. It wasn't like the birth of your brothers and sister."
"Mama knew."
"Knew what?"
"I was born with a gift. I can see things sometimes. But as a child I was shuned for it and I pushed it aside." Seajae looked at the clearing sky. "I let it grow cold and now it only....I....I can only use it once in a while."
"Her family was very into the old stuff. Shaumans, healers, medicine men." Jack looked at his Seajae. "You have it for when you need it."
"Yeah. I better get upstairs and take my medicine."
"They are an increadable bunch of people Seajae."
"I know." She stood up. "Your welcome to be part of it. There's always room for one more."
"Thank you." They both walked upstairs knowing without words all was almost forgiven.
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Bosco watched as his wife slept. She was snuggled close to him. It had been a long time since she clung to him. Since she needed him. She was bumbarded with friends and family when she and Jackson came upstairs. Giult racked him when he called in the troops. Olivia and Billy. Doc and Maggie. Ty and Alex. They would guilt her into anything. But she didn't need to be guilted. She knew. Seajae knew how family should be and always made room for more. And there was always room for forgiveness.
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Beepers going off at five in the morning were getting to be an everyday thing. Seajae slammed her's down and dialed Elliot's number.
"Could I sleep in one morning please?"
"No." She heard the teasing in his voice. "Will wants to talk to us."
"At five in the morning?"
"Got the message when I got in."
"Why do you go in at five?"
"Cause your the night owl."
"I guess."
"So you coming or I'm I doing all the work?"
"Give me a half hour." Hanging up the phone she snuggled closer to her husband. "I love you Bosco." She felt his lips on her neck.
"I love you too." His hands roamed her body. "MMM please tell me your not leaving this bed."
"I got to." Bosco held her tighter. "It's Will. He wants to talk to us."
"It can wait."
"It's for Charlie." Bosco kissed her again.
"The kids haven't seen you in days."
"I know. It will all be over soon and we can go on our vacation."
"Promise?" Seajae turned and looked at him. The tone of his voice was almost scary. His eyes were sad and worried.
"Yes Bosco. I promise. You me and the kids. Susie and Susan. Maybe uncle Jack."
"Are you glad I sent him here instead of putting him on a plane?"
"Yeah." Kissing him she got up. "I swear no more five a.m. phone calls."
"Don't make promise's you can't keep baby." He sat up. "I didn't want you to quit but you need to slow down."
"I know. " She slipped on her jeans and t-shirt. "We find those kids and get Will to confess and I will slow down and we will get the bar rebuilt...."
"And return Cole Lamberts call."
"Cole called?"
"A week ago. He wanted to talk to you about a foster child."
"Bosco I told you no."
"It's Allie Seajae. He wants us to take Alli."
"Alli is missing."
"She wasn't when Cole called." Bosco watched his wife put her hair up. "Call him Seaj."
"When I find them I will. Till then there really isn't a reason to now is there." She left the room knowing he was angry at her. Knowing they were close to a fight that niether one of them could win. Or be forgiven.
"Mama?" Seajae turned to see her five year old daughter standing in her bedroom door way.
"Hey baby girl.....go back to bed."
"You going to work?"
"Yes Angel mommy needs to go to work for a little bit."
"I want to go to Awaii" Seajae knelt in front of the girl.
"So do I baby." She hugged the little girl for the first time in days. Bosco watched his wife and daughter. They needed to be a family again. Needed the closeness niether one of them were raised with. "Mommy will be home in a little while." Bosco knew niether one of them would forgive themselves if they didn't fight to keep them all together.
"Angel Faith,,,,let mommy go to work." Bosco walked down the hall and picked up the little girl in one arm and stopped his wife with the other. He pulled her close and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you Seajae. I'll stand by you though where ever this goes. Just remember that."
"Thanks you." She kissed him back and grabbed her gun and headed out the door hoping she would come back home soon and be able to put all of the crap of the last few weeks behind her.
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"She told me it wasn't mine." Will looked at Seajae and Elliot. "Me and Missy were tight. We ....well we were sleeping together and then she tells me this. I wanted to keep the kid. She didn't. She told me I had no say." Will looked down. "She told me it was Charlie's. I flipped. She tried to push past me and I pushed her agaist the building."
"Will you don't have to say anymore." His mother looked worried.
"Yes I do. Charlie....he's been nothing but my friend." Will looked at Seajae again. "You know Charlie couldn't do anything to hurt anyone. Missy hit her head and fell to the ground and landed on a bottle. I paniced, checked her palse and then,,,,,I ran and I saw Charlie laying on the trail. He had tripped and hit his head. I wiped Missy's blood off and.....I went home showered and.....tried to sleep."
"Then you tried to kill yourself."
"I just wanted to die to."
"Will Adams your under arrest for the murder of Missy Blake." Seajae turned to Elliot. "Read him his rights." She stood up and went out the door. Peggy Jerret stood at the nurses desk.
"Hey Seajae." The woman looked at her friend. "Seajae?" Peggy came around the desk catching Seajae before she hit the floor. "I need some help over here." Peggy yelled. Elliot came out of Will's room.
"What the hell happened?" He went to his knees. "Peggy?"
"She walked out of the room got pale and passed out." Doctors and nurses sorround them.
"Seajae? Seajae!" Elliot helped the doctor and nurses put her on a gurney. "Peggy call Bosco. I don't like this one bit." Elliot watched Seajae being wheeled down the hall. Things wern't looking to good. Shaking his head he followed hopping Bosco was in a forgiving mood cause this was not going to make him happy.
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"She's anemic. Her sholder isn't healing like it should and she's exhausted." The doctor looked at Bosco. "I'm pulling her badge Maurice. She can't keep going this way."
"Doc you can't. It will kill her."
"It's killing her now. Damn it I told her she was pushing it the last two times she was here. Now I'm taking things into my own hands." Doctor Miller slammed a file on the nurses desk. He picked up the phone.
"Doc come on. We were leaving on vacation before this crap with Charlie. You call Swerski and its over for her." Bosco knew it couldn't end this way. Not with Seajae loosing her badge this way. "We'll take the three vacation starting now."
"She straps on her gun in the next month Boscorelli I'll have her badge. Do you understand?"
"Yeah. She'd never forgive me if I let you do this."
"Maybe not but she may thank you. She's at the edge Bosco." Bosco looked down at the counter. "You know as well as I do."
"Yeah." He looked at the doctor. "I'm sending the kids and thier nanny out tomorrow. I need some time."
"I won't sign the release till Thursday. She needs rest."
"Thanks doc." Bosco turned to see his wife pale and thin laying in the bed. She looked fine two hours ago. He let her leave the house. If anything bad happened to her he would never forgive himself.
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Faith, Billy, Kim, Jimmy and Carlos sat in the wiating room. Things were too quiet. Peggy had called Carlos as soon as Seajae was brought into a room. Carlos called Jimmy. Jimmy called Billy and Bosco called Faith. It was a support system they all depended on for everything. Elliot walked in with Olivia.
"Doctor is saying exhaustion. He's keeping her on bed rest for two days."
"He thinks he can do this how?" Faith asked.
"Enough seditives to trank a horse." Elliot looked at Faith. "Will confessed. Charlie is in the clear." Relief washed over Faith.
"Something good coming out of this mess." Sully and Ty came into the room.
"Rumor has it there's been a disterbance in here."
"Yeah too many cops in a place tends to scare everyone off." Jimmy smiled.
"How is she?"
"Worn out." Faith stood up. "We all have been depending on her too much." Looking out the window she felt guitly. "Me especially."
"She wouldn't want it anyother way Faith." Sully stood next to her.
"Well we need to stop putting our problems on Seajae's shoulders. I mean we survived years before she came into out lives." Faith turned to her friends. "Do you think we can keep Seajae out of our problems long enough for her to get back to a hundred precent?"
"Hell we can try. If she doesn't stick her nose in them." Jimmy looked at his friends. "Lets make a pact. Keep our problems and crisis to ourselves till Seajae's better."
"Agreed." They all said. And hoped Seajae would forgive them for shutting her out of their lives for awhile.
Note: I just can't stop....for give me
Chapter 15 Forgiveness
Seajae sat behind the wheel of her car and looked at the street in front of her. Too many cars lined her street for eleven o'clock on a Wendesday night. Too many cars she knew. She rubbed her her eyes. All she wanted to do was go to bed. Now she had to face at least seven or eight people she loved dearly but didn't want to deal with. Not now. Not today. Stepping out of her car she lit a cigarette and took a deep breath. It smelled like snow. They didn't need that either. Slamming the door she took two steps toward the brownstone when she heard something. Without thinking she dropped her cigarette and pulled out her gun.
"Sorry." The horse wisper came from the stairwell of the basement apartment.
"Jack?"
"I came down to......get some air."
"Yeah,,,well you need to be more carefull. There's a lot of peolple who carry guns around here." She reholstered her gun. "I'm sorry about this afternoon Jack. I have issues and now really wasn't a good time."
"I know." He looked at the beauty his niece had become. Her black curls were now blond. Other then her brown eyes there wasn't a stich of her mothers Indian heratige to be seen. Cathleen had been a beauty in everyway. Seajae was too. But there was a hardess about her that he knew was a defence to scare people away. But the people around her wern't scared. They loved her and protected her when he couldn't.
"When do you have to leave?"
"Tomarrow. I have a one o'clock flight."
"Are they all mad at me?"
"Who? Your friends?" Jack smiled. Seajae ached. It was her fathers smile. She remembered little of him but his smile was embeded in her heart. "No Seajae. They could never be mad at you."
"Oh yes they can." She sat on the cold step. "I've done a lot of stupid things in my life."
"And you have all these people to remind you of that and stand by you."
"I would of liked to have you standing by me."
"I'm here now." He sat next to her. "I saw you being born Seajae. Your mom....she wanted you more then anything in this world. You were going to be the glue that held our family together. There was something going on and I wanted to know what the hell it was. It was like the day you were born you saved the world. We all had to be there. In the room. My parents, my sister and her husband. Everyone was there. It wasn't like the birth of your brothers and sister."
"Mama knew."
"Knew what?"
"I was born with a gift. I can see things sometimes. But as a child I was shuned for it and I pushed it aside." Seajae looked at the clearing sky. "I let it grow cold and now it only....I....I can only use it once in a while."
"Her family was very into the old stuff. Shaumans, healers, medicine men." Jack looked at his Seajae. "You have it for when you need it."
"Yeah. I better get upstairs and take my medicine."
"They are an increadable bunch of people Seajae."
"I know." She stood up. "Your welcome to be part of it. There's always room for one more."
"Thank you." They both walked upstairs knowing without words all was almost forgiven.
**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Bosco watched as his wife slept. She was snuggled close to him. It had been a long time since she clung to him. Since she needed him. She was bumbarded with friends and family when she and Jackson came upstairs. Giult racked him when he called in the troops. Olivia and Billy. Doc and Maggie. Ty and Alex. They would guilt her into anything. But she didn't need to be guilted. She knew. Seajae knew how family should be and always made room for more. And there was always room for forgiveness.
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Beepers going off at five in the morning were getting to be an everyday thing. Seajae slammed her's down and dialed Elliot's number.
"Could I sleep in one morning please?"
"No." She heard the teasing in his voice. "Will wants to talk to us."
"At five in the morning?"
"Got the message when I got in."
"Why do you go in at five?"
"Cause your the night owl."
"I guess."
"So you coming or I'm I doing all the work?"
"Give me a half hour." Hanging up the phone she snuggled closer to her husband. "I love you Bosco." She felt his lips on her neck.
"I love you too." His hands roamed her body. "MMM please tell me your not leaving this bed."
"I got to." Bosco held her tighter. "It's Will. He wants to talk to us."
"It can wait."
"It's for Charlie." Bosco kissed her again.
"The kids haven't seen you in days."
"I know. It will all be over soon and we can go on our vacation."
"Promise?" Seajae turned and looked at him. The tone of his voice was almost scary. His eyes were sad and worried.
"Yes Bosco. I promise. You me and the kids. Susie and Susan. Maybe uncle Jack."
"Are you glad I sent him here instead of putting him on a plane?"
"Yeah." Kissing him she got up. "I swear no more five a.m. phone calls."
"Don't make promise's you can't keep baby." He sat up. "I didn't want you to quit but you need to slow down."
"I know. " She slipped on her jeans and t-shirt. "We find those kids and get Will to confess and I will slow down and we will get the bar rebuilt...."
"And return Cole Lamberts call."
"Cole called?"
"A week ago. He wanted to talk to you about a foster child."
"Bosco I told you no."
"It's Allie Seajae. He wants us to take Alli."
"Alli is missing."
"She wasn't when Cole called." Bosco watched his wife put her hair up. "Call him Seaj."
"When I find them I will. Till then there really isn't a reason to now is there." She left the room knowing he was angry at her. Knowing they were close to a fight that niether one of them could win. Or be forgiven.
"Mama?" Seajae turned to see her five year old daughter standing in her bedroom door way.
"Hey baby girl.....go back to bed."
"You going to work?"
"Yes Angel mommy needs to go to work for a little bit."
"I want to go to Awaii" Seajae knelt in front of the girl.
"So do I baby." She hugged the little girl for the first time in days. Bosco watched his wife and daughter. They needed to be a family again. Needed the closeness niether one of them were raised with. "Mommy will be home in a little while." Bosco knew niether one of them would forgive themselves if they didn't fight to keep them all together.
"Angel Faith,,,,let mommy go to work." Bosco walked down the hall and picked up the little girl in one arm and stopped his wife with the other. He pulled her close and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you Seajae. I'll stand by you though where ever this goes. Just remember that."
"Thanks you." She kissed him back and grabbed her gun and headed out the door hoping she would come back home soon and be able to put all of the crap of the last few weeks behind her.
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"She told me it wasn't mine." Will looked at Seajae and Elliot. "Me and Missy were tight. We ....well we were sleeping together and then she tells me this. I wanted to keep the kid. She didn't. She told me I had no say." Will looked down. "She told me it was Charlie's. I flipped. She tried to push past me and I pushed her agaist the building."
"Will you don't have to say anymore." His mother looked worried.
"Yes I do. Charlie....he's been nothing but my friend." Will looked at Seajae again. "You know Charlie couldn't do anything to hurt anyone. Missy hit her head and fell to the ground and landed on a bottle. I paniced, checked her palse and then,,,,,I ran and I saw Charlie laying on the trail. He had tripped and hit his head. I wiped Missy's blood off and.....I went home showered and.....tried to sleep."
"Then you tried to kill yourself."
"I just wanted to die to."
"Will Adams your under arrest for the murder of Missy Blake." Seajae turned to Elliot. "Read him his rights." She stood up and went out the door. Peggy Jerret stood at the nurses desk.
"Hey Seajae." The woman looked at her friend. "Seajae?" Peggy came around the desk catching Seajae before she hit the floor. "I need some help over here." Peggy yelled. Elliot came out of Will's room.
"What the hell happened?" He went to his knees. "Peggy?"
"She walked out of the room got pale and passed out." Doctors and nurses sorround them.
"Seajae? Seajae!" Elliot helped the doctor and nurses put her on a gurney. "Peggy call Bosco. I don't like this one bit." Elliot watched Seajae being wheeled down the hall. Things wern't looking to good. Shaking his head he followed hopping Bosco was in a forgiving mood cause this was not going to make him happy.
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"She's anemic. Her sholder isn't healing like it should and she's exhausted." The doctor looked at Bosco. "I'm pulling her badge Maurice. She can't keep going this way."
"Doc you can't. It will kill her."
"It's killing her now. Damn it I told her she was pushing it the last two times she was here. Now I'm taking things into my own hands." Doctor Miller slammed a file on the nurses desk. He picked up the phone.
"Doc come on. We were leaving on vacation before this crap with Charlie. You call Swerski and its over for her." Bosco knew it couldn't end this way. Not with Seajae loosing her badge this way. "We'll take the three vacation starting now."
"She straps on her gun in the next month Boscorelli I'll have her badge. Do you understand?"
"Yeah. She'd never forgive me if I let you do this."
"Maybe not but she may thank you. She's at the edge Bosco." Bosco looked down at the counter. "You know as well as I do."
"Yeah." He looked at the doctor. "I'm sending the kids and thier nanny out tomorrow. I need some time."
"I won't sign the release till Thursday. She needs rest."
"Thanks doc." Bosco turned to see his wife pale and thin laying in the bed. She looked fine two hours ago. He let her leave the house. If anything bad happened to her he would never forgive himself.
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Faith, Billy, Kim, Jimmy and Carlos sat in the wiating room. Things were too quiet. Peggy had called Carlos as soon as Seajae was brought into a room. Carlos called Jimmy. Jimmy called Billy and Bosco called Faith. It was a support system they all depended on for everything. Elliot walked in with Olivia.
"Doctor is saying exhaustion. He's keeping her on bed rest for two days."
"He thinks he can do this how?" Faith asked.
"Enough seditives to trank a horse." Elliot looked at Faith. "Will confessed. Charlie is in the clear." Relief washed over Faith.
"Something good coming out of this mess." Sully and Ty came into the room.
"Rumor has it there's been a disterbance in here."
"Yeah too many cops in a place tends to scare everyone off." Jimmy smiled.
"How is she?"
"Worn out." Faith stood up. "We all have been depending on her too much." Looking out the window she felt guitly. "Me especially."
"She wouldn't want it anyother way Faith." Sully stood next to her.
"Well we need to stop putting our problems on Seajae's shoulders. I mean we survived years before she came into out lives." Faith turned to her friends. "Do you think we can keep Seajae out of our problems long enough for her to get back to a hundred precent?"
"Hell we can try. If she doesn't stick her nose in them." Jimmy looked at his friends. "Lets make a pact. Keep our problems and crisis to ourselves till Seajae's better."
"Agreed." They all said. And hoped Seajae would forgive them for shutting her out of their lives for awhile.