Chapter 5( To the lyrics of the song 'Keep Believing' by Aaron Carter)--It was either Aaron Carter, or a Backstreet Boys song, and the Aaron Carter song won.... so....yeah.





~Its Not The End~

I open my eyes slowly from blackness. I looked up and saw a stone ceiling. It was then I realized that I was not where I wanted to be. I was in a bed... in the hospital wing. How did I live? I laid my arms in front of me on the white sheets, and turned them over so I could see my wrists. They were bandaged and It was obvious where the gashes were, because you could see where the blood had began to seep through the bandages. 'I shouldn't be here' my mind kept saying over and over again. 'I should be in my perfect world, away from all this...'

I turned my head to look around and was startled by Ron, just sitting there staring at me. He didn't say anything he just stared into my eyes blankly. I looked down at his sleeves and front of his shirt, and they were stained with blood.... my blood. He was the one who kept me from my perfect word... he had saved me.

"Why..." I started weakly, "How did you find me..."

He simply closed his eyes as if he were trying hard to shut out a thought, and he didn't answer. Suddenly Madam Pomfry rushed over, she probably heard me speak.

"Oh good you are awake! I was afraid we were going to loose you!.... Now young man, thank you very much for bringing her here, but you haven't left since then. I think both of you need some rest." Ron just nodded solemnly. "You should be out of here in the morning, Miss Granger." She instructed me to eat a piece of chocolate and to go back to sleep, and then she hurried off to attend a patient with a mandrake bite.

Ron got up and stood over my bed for a second. It hurt me to see the look in his eyes, but I was still slightly bitter at him for ruining my plans for paradise. "Tomorrow..." Ron began in a soft hoarse voice, "meet me up at the astronomy tower. I need to talk to you." his voice cracked toward the end of the sentence and he turned away quickly. I wasn't sure, but I think he was hiding tears. I didn't even get a chance to tell him that I would go meet him. Confused and drowsy, I drifted back into a deep sleep, this time re-visiting my field of paper flowers and my purple sky.

The next day when I woke up angrily, remembering what I was missing out on by being saved. I was going to see Harry when I was dead, but I had been saved and missed out on my chance. Madam Pomfry changed the bandages on my wrists, and said I was allowed to leave. I had to check back later in the day to make sure everything was healing correctly. I was walking down the hall and then realized that I was supposed to meet Ron. I walked up to the astronomy tower reluctantly, remembering what took place there yesterday... I walked through the door and saw Ron leaning with his back to the wall looking down at his feet. He heard my footsteps and looked up.

"I didn't realize you were suffering this badly... I would've apologized..."



~When I look into your sad eyes

~It makes me feel for you



"Ron... No... It didn't have anything to do with you..." I started but, he cut me off.

"Just let me talk... please..." He said solemnly. "I should've seen this coming. I knew that you loved him, I guess I just never thought that you would go to this extreme to end your pain."



~'Cause I don't see the light

~That was always shining through



"I know it wasn't my fault that you tried to kill yourself, but if we were talking I would have noticed how upset you were. I could've tried to stop you..." He sighed. "I know he loved you 'Mione, but he wouldn't have wanted you to do this to yourself. And he's not the only one who cares about you. What about your family, the rest of your friends..." He looked down for a second and then looked right into my eyes. "And me?"



~Some one broke your heart

~And now its easy to give up

~I'm telling you, Its not the end

~Its not the end of love



"I care for you like a sister and a best friend, just as much as I cared for Harry." His voice crack but, he still went on, "Could you even imagine how I felt when I thought I was going to loose you too?"



~Keep believing, Baby

~'Cause everything happens for a reason,

~But don't deny tears fill your eyes



"I was as crushed as you were when I found out that Harry died, then I thought for a while... He died fighting for everybody, and he achieved what he's been trying to achieve since he found out that Voldermort killed his parents. Where ever he is I'm sure he is very happy that he saved the world from Voldermort, and that everybody that he loved is safe now." Hearing him say all of this began to bring tears to my eyes. I was crying again, just like every other day that I had come up to this tower. "If I didn't find the suicide letter you left me on my bed when I got home from quidditch practice I would have been too late. I would never see you again. I don't think I could have lived losing two brothers and two best friends..."



~Don't stop dreaming, Girl

~I'll be right here to lean on

~You're gonna make it through



"I'll always try to be there for you from now on... And I know... I didn't keep my promise to you when I told you Harry would be alright, but I need you to make a promise to me." Tears began to fall freely from his eyes, "Promise me, You will never ever do what you did last night again."



~I wanna see you

~Keep believing



I walked right up to him and pulled him into a tight hug. He buried his face in my shoulder and cried. I had never seen him cry before... probably because he was always trying to be tough. We stayed like that for a little while, and then he pulled away just a little too look me in the eye. "Do you promise?" He asked again.

My mind raced. I thought I could avoid the question, I didn't want to promise anything. Promises scared me... especially this one. But the look in Ron's eyes made me feel so sorry for what I had put him through that I knew I couldn't do that to him again. "I promise," I said quietly. It was now my turn to cry on his shoulder.

After a while we pulled apart and sat down, leaning against the stone wall. I sniffed trying to compose myself after crying. He turned, looked at me, and wiped a tear off my cheek softly with his finger. He smiled peacefully to himself. "Why are you smiling?" I asked curiously. Why could he have been smiling after crying so long.

"Because..." His smile broadened. "You even look beautiful when you cry."



~Has anybody ever told you

~How beautiful you truly are?

~Just one smile from you

~Can open up any heart



I smiled back at him, kind of surprised that he said what he did. Then I realized that I smiled... I hadn't done that since I read the letter from Harry the day before he died. It felt good to be happy again.



"'Mione... If you loved Harry so much... why didn't you tell him sooner?" He asked curiously out of nowhere.

I thought for a second, "I don't know really... I was scared I guess. I guess I learned my lesson, you have to tell people how you feel or they'll never know that you love them." I sighed.

Ron just nodded, looked down puzzled. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No," he looked up at me. "Just thinking..."



~You deserve that too

~Let somebody lift you up

~You gotta know somewhere out there

~Your gonna find love



That's all he said so I dropped the subject. "Ron?"

"Mhm?" I think I broke his train of thought.

"How long do you think it will take for things to go back to normal?" I asked looking out to the sky. It was beautiful.

He was quiet for a second. "I think...things will be a lot different then they were... But, that doesn't mean things will be bad. You know what I mean?"



~Keep believing just how it is

~I promise you the clouds will break

~And someday soon you'll see the sun



"I think..." I started and leaned my head on his shoulder, "I know exactly what you mean." He wrapped his arm around my waist and I felt safe. He kissed the top of my head and then rested his head on mine. We sat staring out into the sky and then I thought of something. I was thinking about my dream paradise and how I missed it.



~And find that someone...



But the sky... It was gorgeous. It was such a bright blue that it almost looked... purple. And it was then that I realized if there was a purple sky this beautiful in this world....Then I wouldn't have to look that hard to find the paper flowers to go with it.





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(A/n- Yay! Happy! I think my writers block is gone! I had the WORST writers block when I was writing the middle piece of this story, and then at the end I was fine. So if the middle is a little bit off... Blame it on the BLOCK! (Hehe that sounds funny) Well there will be one chapter after this, and then it will be over. I hope you liked this one and Please please please review!)

~Thanks~

Jenna