Artemis:……yes! Yes! I know! I know! Its been a long time since I've updated, but I've had a bit of a writer's block for awhile. Thank you DemonSurfer for the flamethrower and the Ryou plushie! And thankies Twister for not letting Kenshin sing for me! ^__^ On to the show!
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or Yu-Gi-Oh
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Artemis: Welcome back to the Tenken Talent Show with yours truly, Artemis Nakano. *smiles sweetly* and my new co-host, Nikki!
Nikki: *takes a bow.*
Joey: *stays behind the curtains whimpering* shes gonna kill me Tristan!
Artemis: yes, I know. It's been a long time since the show has been on, but we're rockin' and ready to go!
Nikki: yes! And we have many wonderful acts to be shown! *smiles*
Artemis: *glares at Viper(a friend of Nikki's) who is standing in the corner, watching jealously* grrr, *whispers loud enough for Viper to hear* don't try it!
Viper:….. //I hate that girl…//
Nikki: our first act is….*reads the que card* ooh! We have a newcomer! Isis Isthar!
Isis: *comes out and waves* I will be making my mysterious predictions with my Millenium Tauk.
Audience: OoOoOoOoOohhh….
Isis: *sits on a stool and closes her eyes*……mmmmm, little Yugi will grow tall if he is stretched on a big stretcher….
Everyone backstage: …….*stare at Yugi*
Yugi: uh oh….
Marik: *picks up Yugi and throws him onto the stretcher* we must make him taller!
Yami Bakura: *nods and ties Yugi's arms and legs* everyone! On the count of three! Push the pedal to the metal!
Everyone: *nods*.
Yami Bakura: …..1.…
Yugi: uh oh….
Yami Bakura: ……2.….
Yugi: oh please, oh please, oh please…..
Yami Bakura: …3!…
Everyone: *pulls the turny thingy*
Yugi: AAAAAAH!! ITS GONNA PULL ME APART!!!
Yami: no….its….gonna…make…you…tall,….hikari….
Yugi: SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!!
Akerri: *stares in amazment* O.O;;; are you sure Isis's prediction is right?
Artemis: *shrugz* I dunno, but this is fun
Yami: *stops and starts panting* ….this…is….no…use….Isis…is…wrong….
Yugi: thank goodness!!!!
Isis: err….*closes her eyes again*……the girl, Viper, will get what she wants….
Artemis: O.O;;; *glares at Viper, who is grinning triumphantly* NO! BAKURA IS MY BOYFRIEND!
Viper: not anymore, Missy-chan….*walks over to Yami Bakura* hi Bakura!
Yami Bakura: hi, er, whats your name again?
Viper: *smiles innocently* its Viper…
Artemis: *starts steaming* don't you dare….
Viper: so, do ya wanna ditch this place or what?
Yami Bakura: mmm, I think I wanna ditch it.
Artemis: . grrr, VIPER! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!! *lunges at her*
Viper: aaack! Bakura! She's attacking me!
Yami Bakura: *pulls them apart* stop fighting, you two.
Viper: she started it! *sticks her tongue at Artemis*
Artemis: what?! Grrr…..humph, fine, be that way. *walks off* Isis's prediction is gonna be wrong again….
Yami Bakura: *looks confused* whats wrong with her?
Viper: nothing….lets go now.
Yami Bakura: okay.
Artemis: *walks over to Nikki* take over for me, I'm gonna take a small break.
Nikki: okay! *grins evilly at Joey*
Joey: *whimpers*
Artemis: *walks around and sees the Black Magician* *gasp* oh my, I read about your story when you were still human, as a priest in Yami Yugi's palace. You were a priest named Mahaado!
Mahaado(Black Magician): *grins* you did, eh?
Artemis: *nods* its so sad how you die. *sniff*
Mahaao: aww, you're so sweet. I didn't know anyone cared. Is there anything I could do for you?
Artemis: *looks down* um, do you have a love potion I could use….
Mahaado: a love potion? Well, yes, but why?
Artemis: well, um, I…
Mahaado: oh yes, the Viper/Bakura incident…
Artemis: how'd you know!
Mahaado: *winks* I have my ways. Sure I'll get you a love potion. Two drops does the trick. *pulls out a vial holding a purple liquid outta nowhere* here ya go Missy-chan.
Artemis: *has a twinkle in her eye* thank you Mahaado! *hugs him*
Mahaado: well, I gotta go, Mana(Black Magician Girl) is gonna get cranky. Bye! *disappears*
Artemis: heh heh heh….
Nikki: thank you Isis!
Isis: *gets up and leaves*
Nikki: next up, we have our newest rock band playing! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Backstage…~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryouji(Duke Devil XP): uh oh….Artemis!
Artemis: what?
Ryouji: when did we come up with a band name?
Artemis: *winks* don't worry, I got that all figured out! Oh and Ryou, *puts two drops of the love potion into a water bottle* give this to your Yami when he comes back,okay?
Ryou: *nods* okay.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Nikki: and now our own rock band, I give to you, the Shadow Realm!
Audience member: oh no! it's the shadow realm! Run before it gets you! *runs*
Audience: *goes crazy*
Girl in the audience: its gonna get us all!
Audience: aaah!!!
Nikie: -_-;;; it's the name of the band.
Audience: *settles down*
Ryouji: the Shadow Realm?!
Yami: hmm, I like it…
Ryou: yes, its okay.
Ryouji: *sighs* okay, okay
Joey: *gasp* yes! I get to play the drums again!!! *starts acting like a hyper dog to Artemis*
Artemis: down boy, down. *pets his head and puts a leash on his neck*
Joey: eh? Whats this for?
Artemis: you're gonna destroy everything if I let you go loose. *walks Joey up to the drums* stay.
Joey: *barks* woof! Woof I say! Woof!
[Ryouji approaches the microphone, Artemis gets the lead guitar, Yami gets the bass guitar, Ryou gets the electric guitar, and Joey gets, of course, the drums]
Nikki: once again, the Shadow Realm!
Artemis: you could stop acting so perky now!
Nikki: *looks like she's forcing a smile* that stupid Marik put a spell on me, now I seem a wee to perky.
Artemis: *glares at Marik who's whistling* grrr
Ryouji: Artemis, pay attention. Okay guys…..1.….2.….3.…go!
[start to play to Simple Plan-Addicted]
Ryouji: *starts the song* I heard you're doing okay ,But I want you to know…
Akerri: *stares at Artemis, Yami, and Ryou, who are all jumping and bobbing their heads to the music* good god! They're possessed! Someone help them!
Sano: er, Akerri, that's how rockers play their music…
Akerri: their heads are gonna fall off if they keep shaking it like that…
[gets to the bridge of the song…]
Ryou: *sings* how long will I be waiting…
Ryouji: until the end of time!
Ryouji & Ryou: I don't know why I'm still waiting, I can't make you mine…
Kaoru: hmmm, very catchy. *sings along* I'm trying to forget that, I'm addicted to you, but I want it, and I need it….
Ryouji: I'm addicted to you. Nows its over, can't forget what you said, and I never, wanna do this again, heartbreaker…..I'm addicted to you….
Akerri: if you start bopping your head like them, Jo-chan…..
Kaoru: *is already bopping her head to the tune*
Akerri: -_-;;;
Ryou: *stops playing and starts feeling weird* huh? This isn't right….*turns into Yami Bakura*
Bakura: huh? What am I doing here? *stares at everyone in the band* stupid Ryou, that dumb boy. Grrr…..*takes the guitar and smashes it into Joey's drums*
Joey: aaaah! You're destroying my precious drums, Ryou!!!!!
Ryouji: *stops singing and walks over to Yami Bakura* Ryou! What're you doing?! We're suppose to trash our instruments after the song is over!
Yami Bakura: Ryou? I'm Bakura!!!
Ryouji: oh, well, can you get Ryou out now, we kinda hafta finish the song now.
Yami Bakura: how 'bout noooo. *sees the water bottle* oh well, if he's not gonna drink it, I might as well have it. *drinks it and starts feeling dizzy* huh?…..*collapses on the ground*
Artemis: Bakura! *runs over and shakes him gently* Bakura, are you okay? //hee hee hee, hopefully the potion worked…//
Yami Bakura: *opens his eyes slightly and stares at Artemis*……you're beautiful….
Artemis: *grins* heh heh heh, *looks over her shoulder, and coincidentally, Viper is there* take that, lil miss, 'I can steal Artemis's boyfriend whenever I want'!
Viper: hmph, *walks off*
Yami Bakura: *kisses Artemis*
Artemis: *blushes* uh, okay….I think we really do hafta finish the song.
Yami Bakura: our song of love?
Akerri: O.O;;;;
Artemis: um, no, the song we were playing before.
Sano: *whistles* lookie there, Missy-chan!
Yami Bakura: why must we be separated, my love?
Artemis: O.O;;; its just gonna be for a minute.
Yami Bakura: okay, if you say so. *walks behind the curtains* I'll miss you, my love!
Artemis: I'm right here!!!
Ryou: *walks back onto the stage* so that's why you wanted my yami to drink that. *grins*
Ryouji: forget it, the song is done, and the crowd is going wild!
Artemis: really! Cool! *hugs Ryouji* we did it!
Yami Bakura: *glares jealously at Ryouji* grrr, stay away from her, DUKE DEVLIN!!!
Ryouji: *blushes* er, that's my English name….
Artemis: *slaps her forehead* the potion is too strong…
Nikki: yeah, the potion that the Black Magician gave you…
Artemis: erk! Nikki?!
Nikki: I saw what you did. *grins*
Artemis: something tells me this isn't good….
Y. Bakura: Artemis! Come here!
Artemis: er, I gotta go, Nikki! Lets just have a commercial break right now, okay?
Nikki: okay!
Artemis: *walks to where Yami Bakura was* Bakura?
Y. Bakura: *pulls her arm and leads her to a biiiiiig garden* ya like?
Artemis: O.O;;;……uh……
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Commercial Break…~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mina: *watches Pegasus on TV acting like a gaylord* stupid Pegasus, I wish he could just collapse in front of all those cameras. *yells out to the TV* I hate you, Pegasus, for what you did to Seto and Mokuba-chan!
Pegasus(on TV): blah, blah, blah, blah, blah….
Mina: grrr….
VampireBat(a friend): you hate him, don't you?
Mina: *nods*
V.B.: hmmm, then what would you do with this? *hands Mina a Pegasus plushie* ^_^
Mina: *glares at the doll and steps on it*
Pegasus(on TV): ow! Hey! What's going on?! Ow, ow that hurts! *collapses*
TV Reporter: This just in, Maxmillion Pegasus has just collapsed in front of us for no apparent reason!
Mina:…….*stares at the doll and grins* heh heh heh…..how much?
V.B.: Introducing VampireBat's Pegasus VooDoo dolls!…..10. 99.
Mina: *hands in the money and starts talking to the doll* this is your punishment forever….*laughs evilly*
V.B.: they're cheap, they're fun, and they sure beat trying to get past his bodyguards! They're Pegasus VooDoo Dolls!
Pegasus(on TV): *is now naked and trying to cover himself* this is just cruel! Whoever is doing this has gotta stop!
V.B.: O.O ……*stares at the TV and then to Mina who shredded the plushies's clothes off*
Mina: muahahahaha!!!
V.B.: uh, Mina-chan, I think you've avenged the Kaiba's enough….
Mina: not enough, not enough…..heh heh heh, *runs to the laundry room* (from the laundry room) eat soap, evil long-haired pansy!!!
V.B.: -_-; *hears the washing machine go on*
Pegasus(on TV): first I'm naked, now I'm wet! What else could happen?!
V.B.: *smiles guiltily* eh, heh heh heh….
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Commercial End*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Artemis: O.O;;;…..*staring at a big garden with 'Bakura and Artemis 4ever' written in flowers* er…..its very pretty….
Y.Bakura: not as beautiful as you *kisses Artemis again*
Artemis: er….//crap, this is not working right…all I wanted was for Bakura to stay away from that Viper girl…./
Y. Bakura: is there something wrong, darling?
Artemis: er, no. I think we should go inside now. *walks back into the building where everyone is sitting around Akerri* huh? Whats going on?
Akerri: *telling a story* …..she was always a puny girl. *laughs* I remember one time….
Artemis: Akerri!! What're you doing?!
Akerri: *leans back* oh? Back so soon? *grins*
Artemis: y-you weren't talking about me, were you?
Joey: she said that you were a shy lil whimp before you met Bakura and Akerri! *grins* I would've never guessed!
Soujiro: *smiles* you were very cute, like a shy little schoolgirl. *holds up a picture of Artemis before she met Bakura or Akerri; black hair in braided pigtails, white tank-top with a pink flower, short red skirt, knee-high socks, mary-jane shoes, bows in her hair, and the blushing school-girl expression on her face*
Artemis: *color drains outta her face*………A….A….AKERRI!!!
Y. Bakura: *gazes at the picture*
Aoshi: *trying not to laugh*…erk, er…*looks a bit constipated*
Tristan: what's up with him?
Malik: he doesn't like to smile, but hey, if Bakura didn't reach her first, I'd definatly go for this chick. *looks at the pic of Artemis before*
Nikki: tsk tsk tsk, V.B will not like that, Malik.
Malik: shut up, Neko-girl.
Nikki: *covers her choker(which looks like a cat collar)* grrr. *attacks Malik*
Malik: AAAH! RABID KITTY-CAT ON THE LOOSE!
Y. Bakura: *shrugz* she saved me some time. //Artemis is my girl, I'll kill Malik if he does so lay one finger on her//
Artemis: *is still pale* …..
Viper: heh heh heh, ya look like a whimp!
Artemis: *still pale and immobile* ……
Malik: *has finally escaped Nikki's claws* Missy-chan!
Artemis: *still pale*…..
Y. Bakura: *puts his hand on her shoulder* um, Artemis?
Artemis: ……
Kenshin: hey! I remember when she was like that, that I do.
Everyone: *looks at Kenshin*
Kenshin: yes! ^__^x I remember! She was so shy, she always hid behind her brother, that she did.
Burnfist: yeah, yeah, the shy Artemis.
Sano: oi! that's right! And then we met her at, I think at the carnival! Oh no, it was the mall, or was it at a party….
Kaoru: it was the carnival, Sano
Joey: hmm, then I remember seeing you before.
Ryou: hey! Yeah! When you met Bakura, he told you that you needed to be tougher!
Akerri: yeah, I made sure that she did *grins*
Nikki: ooooh, cool.
Artemis: ……
Nikki: *looks at her watch* ooh look, we gotta get the other acts out. That includes the 133t contest!!
Everyone: whats a l33t contest?!
Nikki: it's a contest in which a group of people have a conversation in l33t. If someone gets frustrated and walks away, they're out. Last one standing wins.
Artemis: *finally gets the color back in her skin* uh, yeah. Our contestants are VampireBat, Nikki, Seto Kaiba, and….
Akerri: meeee!!!!!
Artemis: -_-;; yes, you.
[V.B, Nikki, Kaiba, and Akerri approach the stage]
Artemis: okay….start talking……now!
Nikki: |-|1 g|_|y5! |-|0w'r3 y0|_| d01ng?
Akerri: 1'}V{ f1n3. W|-|47 4b0|_|7 y0|_|, V.8.?
V.B. 411'5 g00d. K4184, |-|0w'5 K4184 C0rp?
Seto: *thinks hard* 3r, 1t'5 f1n3. 3v3ry7|-|1ng 15 f1n3.
Akerri: 5|_| |_| |_| |_| r3 17 15.
Seto: 5|-||_|7 |_|p, 4k3rr1.
Akerri: }V{4k3 }V{3, K4184-80y! }V{|_|4|_|4|_|4|_|4|_|4
Nikki: |-|3y K4184, c4n |_| g37 }V{3 4 50d4?
Seto: 0k4y, 8|_|7 |-|3y! 1 kn0w w|-|47 y|_|r 7ry1ng 70 d0! Y0|_| w4n7 }V{3 70 134v3 7|-|3 c0nv3r54710n 50 7|-|47 1'|| |053! W3||, y0|_|r p14n d1dn'7 w0rk…..*goes to get a soda*
[Loud bell rings and Sano and Kastu drag Kaiba off]
Seto: |_| 7r1ck3d }V{3!!!!
Akerri:…..
V.B.:…….
Nikki:……
Akerri: *shrugz* 0|-| w3||. |-|3 |3f7 c4|_|53 |-|3 w45 4|r34dy c0nf|_|53d.
V.B.: 7r|_|e. b|_|7 g00d '0| N1kk1 f33|5 g|_|1|7y 83c4|_|53 0f w|-|47 5|-|3 d1d 70 |-|3r |1| cr|_|5|-| *nudges Nikki* 15n'7 7|-|47 r1ig|-|7, N1kk1?
Akerri: *laughs*
Nikki: grrrr…..574r7 r|_|nn1ng V.8.!!!
V.B.: |_||-| 0|-|…..*starts running*
[Loud bell rings and Sano and Katsu drag V.B. off]
V.B.: 4www, p|-|003y….
Akerri: 17s j|_|57 |_| 4nd }V{ n0w….
Nikki: |_||-| |-||_||-|….
[Long moment of silence…..]
Akerri:…….
Nikki:…….
Akerri…..1 n33d 70 |_|53 7|-|3 p077y……
Everyone: *anime fall*
Nikki: *grins* g0 4|-|34d, 1'|| p4|_|53 7|-|3 g4}V{3 f0r |_|.
Akerri: 7|-|4nks…*runs to the bathroom*
[Loud bell rings and Sano and Katsu drag Akerri away]
Akerri: 1 571|| n33d 2 g0000!!!!
Artemis: we have a winner! The winner is…Nikki!
Nikki: *bows*
Artemis: okay that's enough for today…
Nikki….until next time! Remember people, reviewing TenkenChick's fics are good for your health!
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Artemis: *sighs* that was long
Y.Bakura: *hugs Artemis* I love you….
Artemis: this has gotton too far…..okay people, remember to review! I'm going to ask Mahaado for a cure for this thing…
Mahaado: *watching down on Artemis laughing*
Viper: hey, Missy-chan, you got what you deserved!