Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VIII and all its characters are property of SquareSoft
Effect by remote_mine
Sometimes, I have to stop and think. Think about where I'm going with my life. Think about my relationship with my boyfriend. Think about those things that just seem to pop up time to time. I have to stop, and think.
And that's just it. The thing that's been pestering me for quite a while now: what others think about me.
It's irritating, the way that people seem to think that they know everything about me. They don't get it, do they?
I've heard from people that I would honestly call friends about me and Squall. They just don't seem to see the truth.
They say that I'm too good for him, that I deserve someone better. They say things that make me think they're totally blind. They say that I keep giving and giving, while he just takes and takes without returning anything. They say that I should leave him, and that I'm staying with him because I don't want him to get hurt again.
Can't they see?
They're wrong. Maybe they just can't believe that I love someone like him. I think they're still stuck on the fact that he actually opened up. So it makes me wonder as to why they think they know better than I do.
The Sorceress War is, in my opinion, one of the most influential things in my life. Long lasting effects on everything that I've ever come to see and love, and in the process I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.
And not only that, I don't think I ever changed him.
Call me a liar; call me delusional, but that's what I truly believe.
If he never had the capacity to care, I believe he honestly would simply have been unable to change. It's just plain scary how people think that I changed him. I never did. All I did was just show him the side of him that he thought he had lost long ago.
And as a result, they think that I deserve better because they say he never gave me anything in return.
I'm calling them blind for a single reason. So they know me so well, they believe I could do so much better than Squall.
Trust me; he is worth all the time I spent on him and even more.
I'm scared. Not for me, but for those that just sit back and look at my relationship with Squall.
Sitting behind their own judgmental stares so they don't have to face the truth, they choose to ignore what happened to me.
I changed too.
Not outwardly, if that's what you're thinking. But he showed me something that I used to have and forgot before I met him. He showed me to take things a bit more seriously, even though I don't think he really intended to point it out to me. It doesn't make a difference, whether or not he meant to. He did, and that's really what matters to me.
Because of Squall, I learned to consider the effects of my actions on others.
Again, I know that there are those that don't believe anything I'm saying. But that's your loss.
Looking back at my time in Timber, I never thought twice about what I did, never thought of the consequences on those around me. I only thought of myself, and what I wanted.
Squall changed that for me. Granted, he didn't change me, but rather he made me realize that I had to think of how others would be affected by my actions. I thought that Timber would be better off free from Galbadian rule, and I nearly got Seifer killed in the process. He was just as impulsive as I was, running into the Radio Station and holding the president hostage.
Talk about my 'caring about others' attitude when I was reckless. Could you honestly call that caring?
I might have that old, 'impulsive-and-wears-heart-on-sleeve' façade up, but it's not who I am. It never was, and I have one person to thank for making me realize that. I think about what the repercussions of my actions are on others, and don't do things without at least thinking about it now.
I'm too good for Squall, they say. They want me to just do things without thinking how it would affect others.
So what happens if I do that again? Many things can happen, but I know that there's one thing for sure.
Cause and effect.
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A/N: First attempt at writing from someone's POV. This was done mainly because I haven't seen very many fics cover how Rinoa changed in the game. If you don't think she changed, email me and I'll tell you my reasoning from stuff in the game.
bembem: Thanks, as always for beta-reading my fic! Especially for your comments; they mean quite a lot to me.