Chapter 16 In the aftermath
Joel couldn't believe what had just happened, had Carter just proposed? He'd never thought to see the red ranger do that, especially in such a public way. He watched too now as Dana ran out and wondered what had happened. Why had she turned him down? They were so perfect for one another, even he saw that. She'd been so lost with out him; he'd seen that sad look in her eyes. He wondered if he should try to find out what happened from Carter, he too looked baffled.
***
Angela sat there across from her husband watching Dana go and wondering what was going on? She'd have thought Dana would be thrilled by the proposal; she obviously loved Carter very much. Every time she looked at him lately she had stars in her blue eyes. Was it fear? The scientist knew that Dana's youth hadn't been normal; she spent her time training for both medical school and to be a ranger. There had been little time for socializing. Was she scared she'd not make a good wife or something like that or was it that he was just moving too fast?
Looking at her husband she noted he was watching Carter and she knew he'd go to help his friend so she got up to go after hers.
***
The four seated at the table could only stare at the captain, he looked confused and a little lost. Chris wondered if he'd planned that or had just did it spontaneously.
Brent couldn't understand what had just happened. The captain, the laid back of the two commanders had just asked the doctor to marry him and had been turned down? What was wrong with the woman? From the look in the captain's eyes when he'd asked her he loved her very much. Wasn't that why people got married? Didn't she love him back?
Heath didn't think, he just got to his feet and headed for the captain.
"sir?" Heath asked slowly and Carter turned to look at him blankly. Heath knew he had to be in shock.
"Hmm?" The older man asked detachedly.
"Are you alright?" Heath asked and the red clad man just lust looked at him in confusion.
"Oh, I um." He managed after a second. n
"come on." Heath said and led him over to their table. Brian who'd gone to the line again arrived with a steaming mug of something.
"Here." the new red ranger told him setting the cup before him.
"What?" Carter looked from Brian to Heath and then to the others at the table.
"Drink it." Heath urged.
"I…" what was he thinking? Carter couldn't just sit here, he had to know what just happened. Why had she fled?
***
"Dana?" Marie frowned as she spotted the doctor racing down the corridor. A frown marred Marie's pretty face. what had happened? She been so happy. Marie then watched as captain Mitchell ran after his sister.
"Dana!" He called trying to get her attention.
"Sir what's happened?" Marie asked but he just brushed her off. Marie didn't stop though, she followed nearly having to run to keep up.
"Just go she's…" the captain began but Marie didn't listen, she just kept going.
"I'm a girl sir." that had The woman watching smiling slightly. It was good, Angela thought to have Ryan not get what he now wanted.
"I don't really know," Ryan said when he realized she was just as determined to check on Dana. "Come on."
When they reached the door Ryan didn't hesitate just knocked.
"Dana," Captain Mitchell began. "Dana open up." He said and then a pain went through him at the pain in his sister's voice.
"go away." She called and Marie could steel there was heartbreak in her voice. What had happened? She really wished the captain would tell her something.
"No, I'm not going anywhere." Ryan called and banged on the door again.
"Just leave me alone!" She cried and there was a thud as something hit the door. That really worried Ryan; he'd never known her to throw things, not outside of battle. What was going on?
"Let me try." Marie said resting a hand on his shoulder. He just looked from the girl to the door and nodded.
Stepping forward Marie then softly knocked.
***
"Doc? Doc is everything ok?" Dana heard Marie's concerned voice and wanted to throw something, didn't they get it, she just wanted to be alone for a little bit. She wondered how Marie had even gotten involved; she'd already left when it had all started.
"Please Marie, tell him to go away." She said never the less. She just wanted to be alone, all alone to figure this out.
***
"Sir this might go better if you…' Marie began slowly knowing he wasn't going to like this. Still she knew Dana would be more like to talk to another woman tan even her brother.
Ryan looked down at her a long moment, his inner conflict evident on his handsome face. With another look from Marie to the door he nodded.
***
Dana heard the retreating footfalls and then the soft knock on the door.
"He's gone." Came Marie's tentative voice and Dana felt relief go through her, finally, she was alone. True her new friend was outside but Marie was after all a girl and might understand the need to be left alone.
"Now will you go? I just need to be by myself." Dana asked hopefully and waited trying to hold back her tears.
"No, Doc, I don't know what happened but running wont help." Marie called softly. Why was it everyone kept saying that?
"It's none of your business."
"I know that but I also know that if you don't talk to one of us your brother will just come back." Marie reasoned and Dana knew she was right but she really didn't want to try and explain things when she didn't know what to say. What was she going to tell her? Oh, I'm just scared he'll see the real me? Oh that would be really great.
"I'll shoot him." Dana said and then she heard the snicker.
"Come on doc I know you won't shoot him." Marie said adding. "You're too smart to go to jail."
"Funny." Dana looked at her feet she had never felt so bad, not even when her father had died.
"Yep that's me, the joker." Marie said grimly.
"Why are you doing this?" Dana asked wearily and there was a pause.
"Rangers stick together no matter what." Marie told her and Dana did feel a little smile tilting up her lips. It was true, she knew that.
"Yeah, well I do need some time to myself, can we talk in the morning?"
"Um," there was a moment's hesitation. "Ok."
"Night." Dana said in relief.
"Night doc." The voice of her successor called and then Dana heard the sound of Marie's retreating footsteps. Thank the heavens, she was finally alone.
***
"So you think he should just leave it?" Chris asked frowning at Joel. The ex-green ranger nodded.
"For tonight, think about it man, women get all weird and stuff when their emotions are involved." Joel explained shrugging as the memory of his own wife's upset reoccurred to him.
"But I don't get it, she loves me." Carter said frowning.
"And maybe that scares her." Marie said as she came over to joining the group huddled around the table.
"How is she?" Carter asked coming half out of his seat.
"Which? Doc or Hollie?" Marie asked innocently.
"Both." Brent said quickly.
"Hollie's fine, resting in fact." Marie told them then taking pity on the captain she added. "The doctor's in her room. She doesn't want to talk to anyone."
"Why? I just don't get it." Carter looked into the cup of herbal tea. What had he done? He loved her; she loved him, was he just moving to fast or was there something else?
Oblivious to his commander's inner turmoil. No, he was more concerned with the brunette still standing by their table while she looked for another chair. He noted too that there were none, all already having been taken. With out a single thought he got to his feet.
"Here." Brian said and she looked at him. Then after looking from the new red ranger to his seat. Her heart gave a little flutter but she managed to shake her head. .
"I'm ok."
"Well here then." Brian said taking a seat once again and then shifting so she could have half f it.
"Ok." Marie said blushing only slightly as she accepted the invitation.
"Man Angie got like that when I told her I loved her." Joel said bringing both the red and pink rangers back to the current situation.
"She did?" Carter asked surprised. The day she'd picked him up for their date she'd seemed so happy about it.
"Yeah, she didn't have the most normal childhood, growing up a genius." Joel explained and Carter could understand, Angela Rawlings was one of the smartest people he'd ever met. Then a thought struck him. "Kind of the way Dana did."
"Hmm?" Heath asked surprised. The doctor just seemed so normal, like any one of them; he could remember how she'd joked around with them upon her arrival at his boat.
"From what I gathered her father had Dana training day and night for her entire life." Carter frowned was that true? He knew he'd been a real task master but this bad. .
"Well not really, he just considered it more important than most other things." Ryan commented joining them.
"She won't talk to you either?" Carter asked worriedly seeing the annoyed look on his friends face.
"No, that's why I let Marie try." Ryan sighed and he snatched a chair as a pair at a nearby table left. Zone noticed how Marie pretended not to see. Brian didn't seem to mind either.
"Well, we know how that came out." Chris said shaking his head.
***
"Over ride!" Carter called; he was going to find out what was going on and right now. He deserved at least that much.
"Carter what are you doing here?" Dana asked and he saw her hen, laying in a ball on the bed, her back to him.
"We need to talk." He said and strode around the end of the bed; they'd not do this front to back.
"Look, I know you're pissed, you should be but I don't know what to tell you." She said and he heard it then, the tears in her voice.
"You don't have to, Dana; I know that was sudden and not at all romantic." He began slowly and moving closer, he turned on the lamp. Sure enough her face was red and blotchy, her eyes puffy, and there was still a trail of tears glistening on her cheeks.
"Romantic?" She sniffed as if confused. What was he talking about? He was so sweet and kind and so hot… "Carter you are romantic."
"Then what's wrong?" He asked quietly kneeling down before her so they were on eye level.
"Carter, we barely know each other and…' she said and whipped at her cheeks with a sleeve.
"Dana we've known each other for more than two years." He reminded her and pulling out a handkerchief he blotted the tears away.
***
"But…" She began surprised his touch was so gentle.
"Dana what are you so afraid of?" He asked softly knowing now that that was the problem. She was scared.
"I, I'm not." She managed not to let him know just what she was really feeling. But she was in his arms and he was holding her, stroking her back.
"I don't know what's wrong but Dana if I have to wait for all of eternity I will." He promised and kissed the crown of her head, smelling the soft scent that was simply Dana.
"You will?" She asked and her tone confirmed his notion that she was scared.
"Yes, I love you." He said simply and began to rock her slightly as he felt her body relaxing slowly.
"Oh." She managed and then pulled back slightly so she could see his blue eyes. "But why?"
"Because you are you." He said after a minute's thought.
"Carter, I don't deserve you." She said woefully.
"Nor I you but this is right Dana, I know that, I have since that song began to play." He said and she frowned, what was he talking about? This night just kept getting stranger and stranger.
"The song?" She asked and he smiled as if knowing her thoughts.
"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart, without saying a word you can light up the dark."
"Oh…" She blushed, she'd almost completely forgotten about that. Still as he continued to hold her to him, his voice caressing the words the world seemed to melt away.
And then there was his soft voice. It was so soothing, so gentle, just like Carter. She wondered sleepily why she'd panicked and then knew she had to tell him.
"Woa!" She saw him falling, and then the tentacle.
"If I go down I'm taking you with me!" The demon queen shrieked and Dana watched her brother fight to grab their leader. She could feel the tears stream
Down her face. She wanted to cry to her to let Him go, to do something. Reaching for her blaster she found it gone and saw Carter's hand slipping. There
Was no more time. She flipped over the edge of the tomb.
"Dana no!" She felt arms grabbing her and then watched in horror as Carter fell.
"No!" She screamed and jerked awake. She barely had time to realize it was another dream when the door burst open and three people all in defensive mode
Ran in.
"What the?" Chris asked regaining his normal stance.
"Nothing I..."
"Again?" Ryan frowned crossing the floor to his little sister.
"It's ok, I'm ok." She said and Chris sensing so he couldn't be of assistance.
"What are you talking about again?" Carter demanded looking from Ryan to the woman he sat beside. What was going on?
"Nothing, please just go to bed." Dana said visibly trying to pull herself together.
"Nightmares." Ryan called even as Dana glared at her brother.
"Darn it Ryan if I wanted people to know I'd have said something." She said angrily.
"There's nothing wrong with nightmares." Carter said quietly.
"Just leave." Dana said feeling as if she'd just lost everything. Now he knew and he'd never understand. And she couldn't deal with this not now, not after earlier.
Carter never even thought about leaving. He had a feeling that this was why she'd not wanted to go to bed. It felt right to cross the floor to push Ryan
Aside. He was barely aware when the other man left.
"This is why you said no." Carter said with a sudden clarity even as she scooted away from him.
"I don't want to talk about it." She muttered, the nightmare was still too fresh.
"Dana, you should have said something." He began thinking of what Marie had said. "We all had a rough time after that battle." He began and she just looked
At him. "Dane do you know I had nightmares about the tomb for almost a year after?"
"You had a reason." She said quietly even as he scooted slowly towards her, almost as if she were a skittish animal.
"And you didn't? Dana you were nearly crushed in the old base." He said quietly but she just shook her head.
"I can deal with those." She managed.
"Then what do you dream about?" Carter asked pausing in his slow progress. When she just shook her head he spoke softly. "Come on Dane, you know I am not
Leaving until you come clean."
Dana just gave him a look and got off the bed and headed for her dresser.
"You know my mother once told me that scars take not only time but love to heal."
"I have love; both Dad and Ryan were up with me every night." She said picking up her brush even as he watched her. "Ryan still does. You never wondered
Why he changed the quarter's assignments." Thinking of that Carter could remember Ryan's insisting to be beside his sister. He'd not even thought about
The why, figuring they just wanted to be close. Then something else hit him and a little smile crossed his lips.
"Well there have been a few nights you didn't have any dreams." Watching her face in the mirror he saw she knew exactly which one that was. "Do you know why that
Is?" He was off the bed and moving to her even as he went on. "Do you know why that is?"
Dana jumped at the feel of his hands on her shoulders. The ele3ctiricty was there but also a safety she'd felt only with Dad or Ryan.
"Carter not now I..." He pressed a soft kiss to the spot just below her ear.
"Because you're loved." His words sent warmth through out her chest and a fluttering in her belly." Not just now, not just in the last few days but for a very long time now.
Her eyes began to drift shut but Carter shook his head.
"Look here."
"Hmmm?" She asked gazing at their reflection.
"Tell me." He said traversing a kiss to the side of her neck.
"Carter I..."
"Please?" He asked his gaze locking on hers a long moment. Dana was then a little surprised when he picked her up and strode from the room.
"Carter?"
"Shhh." He said and neither were aware of the pair of eyes watching or the smile on the phantom face.
"Ok talk to me." Carder said laying her on the bed then moving to lie beside her.
Dana didn't think she could tell him, he'd think she was stupid. It was stupid, after all the dream just showed how selfish she was. If she stopped trying to save
Him then... She didn't realize that tears were streaming down her face.
"Come on angel I can't help if I don't know." He said pulling her so her head rested on his shoulder.
Dana felt him in every breath, every fiber, the room was simply the man, his smell, his style, him. It was like a charm as he had been before.
"It's ok, I'm ok now." She said and be used a finger to tilt her chin up.
"Come on Dana you trust me right?" He asked solemnly.
"You know I do." She replied feeling much better.
"So talk to me." He urged knowing she would, something but her whole manner had changed, eased.
"It was during that last battle, after you thought we'd won." She began to shake slightly.
Carter had been living with that memory for a long time and had finally stopped flinching at it. Now as she went on it was hard, his arms tighten reflexively.
"She was pulling you down and you couldn't hold on. Ryan and the others were trying to reach you and she was pulling...." By now she was weeping softly
And he then realized that for the others it must but been hard, to watch with no way to stop it. He'd seen the others reaching for him but she'd not been
There. She had been in the back of the group or on a side he'd not seen. Closing his eyes he began to move his hand up and down her spine in a means of calming her, as much for her as himself as memories washed from her to him.
"I wanted to do something that day I wanted to scream at her to let you go, to make her but I couldn't. She was dragging you and you couldn't hold on, if
I tried to reach you the others, who were stronger couldn't." She sobbed. It was hard saying this; it was like pulling out her guts, one by one. She felt
His hand on her back; it kept her from falling into the memory as she went on. "In the dream I do try and save you, I jump into the tomb to grab you, but
Instead of helping my actions cause you to be sucked down with her. Because Ryan and Joel grab me."
Carter held on to her even tighter. She was crying so hard it was a wonder her bones didn't break. He thought if she did his heart would go with her, it was
Already cracking. She'd lived with that nightmare for that long? How had she done it? He'd thought he was self-contained. It hit him that she was blaming
Herself for what had happened in the dream. He had the feeling that dream guilt could be just as destructive as true guilt. And she hadn't wanted him to know, she'd been afraid he'd what? Be mad? What could he say? Well maybe she was right, maybe they were moving too fast. If she didn't know him enough to trust something like this...
TBC
***