The best word that Buffy could think of to describe Angel was
timeless.
He looked exactly the same as when she'd first met him, and she couldn't
help but notice. Did he think her aged? She didn't think that she looked
bad at all, not for 25. Her muscles were rippling, covering every part of
her like coiled wire. She wore her hair long, partly curled most of the
time, although she pulled it back for patrolling. She didn't have any
wrinkles to speak of, and her eyes were still bright, although not as
bright as they once were.
Buffy turned away from the mirror of the bathroom and reached into the white cabinet for towels. They were fluffy, just like her mother had liked them. Buffy assumed that Angel would want to take a shower, so she also set out the shampoos in plain view on the counter. Turning out the light, she stepped out of the hallway and turned to the coat closet, where she pulled out three blankets. They smelled clean and fresh, but soon they would smell like Angel. Her heart constricted at the thought.
Closing the door, Buffy stepped down the stairs that led to the basement. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw Angel practicing his punches on her new suspended fighting bag. Sweat beaded his forehead and arms and his muscles flashed beneath his white shirt. She walked past him to place the blankets on a cot, and Angel changed positions and started kicking the bag with perfect technique.
"Looks like you've stayed in shape." Buffy said loudly, smiling at him. He turned to face her and grinned.
"Yeah, sitting at a desk is really good exercise." His eyes flickered in the dim light of the basement and he seemed taller than when she'd last seen him.
"You must do a lot of good with that company. Have you turned it around yet?" She asked, sincerely curious. Angel looked at her seriously for a moment and seemed to think before he said, "It's been hard, and we've got a long way to go, but it's getting better."
Buffy smiled up at him and laid her hand on his arm.
"I know you can do it. You can do anything."
Angel looked at her for a long moment, his brown eyes unreadable in his face. His hand suddenly reached for hers and their fingers interlocked. He brought his head down and rested it on hers, drawing in a deep breath.
"This is so hard." She whispered.
Angel lifted his head and looked down at her.
"I know."
She expected him to say more, but then figured out that he didn't need to. He said everything just by being here, by holding her hand, by sticking around. She could ask no more of him or herself.
"Does it ever get easier?" She asked softly, almost afraid of the answer. He touched her chin gently and lifted it up so that she was looking him in the eye.
"Not for me." He said simply. "I've looked this over from every angle. You make me happy, Buffy. And I cherish that more than you know. Every minute with you is like a lifetime, but still much too short. Whenever I sleep, I dream about you being with me, when I'm awake I wonder why you're not. It will never be easy for me. I'm in love with you, and I can't just make that go away."
Buffy stepped away from him and wiped a tear from her cheek. When she spoke, her voice was shaky.
"Would you make it stop if you could?"
Angle brought her close to him again and brought his hand up to her cheek.
"No. I wouldn't. What would there be left to live for then?"
She smiled a watery smile and they kissed in the dim light. Softly at first, and then harder and more insistent as they neared the place where they both would have to stop. Angel's shirt somehow ended up on the cot, and Buffy ran her hands over his skin, tormenting him with her soft fingers. They sank to the floor and rocked against the wall. His hands roamed her back and caught in her hair. Breathless, they broke away from each other. When Buffy looked at Angel through blurry eyes, she saw that he had been crying too. Taking a deep breath to try and calm her heart, Buffy stood up.
"I'll be upstairs if you need anything else."
Then she left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Angel took a deep breath, even though he didn't need to breathe at all. He had barely been able to control himself, and it was only Buffy's leaving the room that had made him stop. His every muscle was singing with need for her and he swallowed shakily. He thought of Buffy sleeping upstairs in a big, soft bed and growled to himself. He noticed a set of chains on the wall, and not caring what they had been used for or who had last been in them, he latched one of his wrists into the iron hold. *It's for Buffy.* he told himself. *I have to protect her.*
As the night went on, Angel's body wrenched and tore as his feral self pulled against the chains. Buffy's scent was everywhere and it was driving a lust through him like he'd never felt before. There was a bit of Angelus shining in his eyes now, and if Buffy had been stupid enough to come downstairs to investigate the noise he was making, she would have cost Angel his soul again. But as dawn came closer he began to control himself, and just as the sun rose above the hills, he unchained his hand and closed his eyes on the cot that Buffy had pulled out for him. *I have to do something.* he thought. *Spike earned his soul. Maybe I can go and earn mine and the curse will be replaced* That was his last conscious moment, and then he was fast asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Buffy had no idea what had made Angel go wacky during the night, but it had kept her awake until morning had already come. Groaning, she staggered up to close the blinds. As she did so, her eyes widened. She bolted down out of her room and down the stairs, running with all of her slayer strength. She tripped down the basement stairs in her haste and landed in a heap on the floor. Grunting, she got up and ran to the open window to the right of Angel's cot. It was full length, and had a set of blinds, but she had installed heavy curtains in case he had ever come to stay with her. The light was inches from Angel's feet when she yanked down the blinds and pulled the heavy curtains. Panting and crying, she fell to the floor in a heap, wondering why Angel had slept so late, wondering why she had forgotten the window, and then unable to get past the thought that she had almost lost him. She was still there when Angel finally woke up, but by then she was composed, and she immediately asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He blinked up at her, noticing the tear streaks on her face, but not saying anything about it.
"I'll eat whatever you fix." He said with a smile.
Buffy plastered a grin on her face and walked to the edge of the stairs.
"Ok. Then get ready for a big bowl of cereal because that's all I can cook."
She walked up the stairs and washed her face in the bathroom before going to the kitchen and setting out all of the needed materials for breakfast. When Angel came upstairs, he gave her a hug and smiled.
"Looks like a good breakfast. So, what did you do when you woke up this morning?" He asked.
Buffy looked up at him and grinned.
"I saved your life." She said triumphantly, raising her eyebrows and smiling brightly.
"I see." Angel chuckled. "Well, I guess the brave lady deserves to have breakfast made for her instead."
Buffy made a face at him.
"I was wondering when you would remember your manners and suggest that." Angel walked over to the table and poured her preferred cereal, then pulled out her chair.
"There you go. I have now repaid you for saving my life." His eyes said that he thought she was joking, so Buffy just looked up at him and smiled. He didn't have to know. It was enough that he was here.
Buffy turned away from the mirror of the bathroom and reached into the white cabinet for towels. They were fluffy, just like her mother had liked them. Buffy assumed that Angel would want to take a shower, so she also set out the shampoos in plain view on the counter. Turning out the light, she stepped out of the hallway and turned to the coat closet, where she pulled out three blankets. They smelled clean and fresh, but soon they would smell like Angel. Her heart constricted at the thought.
Closing the door, Buffy stepped down the stairs that led to the basement. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw Angel practicing his punches on her new suspended fighting bag. Sweat beaded his forehead and arms and his muscles flashed beneath his white shirt. She walked past him to place the blankets on a cot, and Angel changed positions and started kicking the bag with perfect technique.
"Looks like you've stayed in shape." Buffy said loudly, smiling at him. He turned to face her and grinned.
"Yeah, sitting at a desk is really good exercise." His eyes flickered in the dim light of the basement and he seemed taller than when she'd last seen him.
"You must do a lot of good with that company. Have you turned it around yet?" She asked, sincerely curious. Angel looked at her seriously for a moment and seemed to think before he said, "It's been hard, and we've got a long way to go, but it's getting better."
Buffy smiled up at him and laid her hand on his arm.
"I know you can do it. You can do anything."
Angel looked at her for a long moment, his brown eyes unreadable in his face. His hand suddenly reached for hers and their fingers interlocked. He brought his head down and rested it on hers, drawing in a deep breath.
"This is so hard." She whispered.
Angel lifted his head and looked down at her.
"I know."
She expected him to say more, but then figured out that he didn't need to. He said everything just by being here, by holding her hand, by sticking around. She could ask no more of him or herself.
"Does it ever get easier?" She asked softly, almost afraid of the answer. He touched her chin gently and lifted it up so that she was looking him in the eye.
"Not for me." He said simply. "I've looked this over from every angle. You make me happy, Buffy. And I cherish that more than you know. Every minute with you is like a lifetime, but still much too short. Whenever I sleep, I dream about you being with me, when I'm awake I wonder why you're not. It will never be easy for me. I'm in love with you, and I can't just make that go away."
Buffy stepped away from him and wiped a tear from her cheek. When she spoke, her voice was shaky.
"Would you make it stop if you could?"
Angle brought her close to him again and brought his hand up to her cheek.
"No. I wouldn't. What would there be left to live for then?"
She smiled a watery smile and they kissed in the dim light. Softly at first, and then harder and more insistent as they neared the place where they both would have to stop. Angel's shirt somehow ended up on the cot, and Buffy ran her hands over his skin, tormenting him with her soft fingers. They sank to the floor and rocked against the wall. His hands roamed her back and caught in her hair. Breathless, they broke away from each other. When Buffy looked at Angel through blurry eyes, she saw that he had been crying too. Taking a deep breath to try and calm her heart, Buffy stood up.
"I'll be upstairs if you need anything else."
Then she left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Angel took a deep breath, even though he didn't need to breathe at all. He had barely been able to control himself, and it was only Buffy's leaving the room that had made him stop. His every muscle was singing with need for her and he swallowed shakily. He thought of Buffy sleeping upstairs in a big, soft bed and growled to himself. He noticed a set of chains on the wall, and not caring what they had been used for or who had last been in them, he latched one of his wrists into the iron hold. *It's for Buffy.* he told himself. *I have to protect her.*
As the night went on, Angel's body wrenched and tore as his feral self pulled against the chains. Buffy's scent was everywhere and it was driving a lust through him like he'd never felt before. There was a bit of Angelus shining in his eyes now, and if Buffy had been stupid enough to come downstairs to investigate the noise he was making, she would have cost Angel his soul again. But as dawn came closer he began to control himself, and just as the sun rose above the hills, he unchained his hand and closed his eyes on the cot that Buffy had pulled out for him. *I have to do something.* he thought. *Spike earned his soul. Maybe I can go and earn mine and the curse will be replaced* That was his last conscious moment, and then he was fast asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Buffy had no idea what had made Angel go wacky during the night, but it had kept her awake until morning had already come. Groaning, she staggered up to close the blinds. As she did so, her eyes widened. She bolted down out of her room and down the stairs, running with all of her slayer strength. She tripped down the basement stairs in her haste and landed in a heap on the floor. Grunting, she got up and ran to the open window to the right of Angel's cot. It was full length, and had a set of blinds, but she had installed heavy curtains in case he had ever come to stay with her. The light was inches from Angel's feet when she yanked down the blinds and pulled the heavy curtains. Panting and crying, she fell to the floor in a heap, wondering why Angel had slept so late, wondering why she had forgotten the window, and then unable to get past the thought that she had almost lost him. She was still there when Angel finally woke up, but by then she was composed, and she immediately asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He blinked up at her, noticing the tear streaks on her face, but not saying anything about it.
"I'll eat whatever you fix." He said with a smile.
Buffy plastered a grin on her face and walked to the edge of the stairs.
"Ok. Then get ready for a big bowl of cereal because that's all I can cook."
She walked up the stairs and washed her face in the bathroom before going to the kitchen and setting out all of the needed materials for breakfast. When Angel came upstairs, he gave her a hug and smiled.
"Looks like a good breakfast. So, what did you do when you woke up this morning?" He asked.
Buffy looked up at him and grinned.
"I saved your life." She said triumphantly, raising her eyebrows and smiling brightly.
"I see." Angel chuckled. "Well, I guess the brave lady deserves to have breakfast made for her instead."
Buffy made a face at him.
"I was wondering when you would remember your manners and suggest that." Angel walked over to the table and poured her preferred cereal, then pulled out her chair.
"There you go. I have now repaid you for saving my life." His eyes said that he thought she was joking, so Buffy just looked up at him and smiled. He didn't have to know. It was enough that he was here.