Chapter 1 - In the Beginning of the Greatest play...ever??
It was late summer of 2004, months following the huge success of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, where Popo Jackson, bastard brother of Peter Jackson, decided to milk from his brother's success by making and adaptation of an adaptation, but an on stage version!
"Brilliant!" exclaimed one critic who loved the idea; sadly he didn't know what he was talking about, for the final product was everything but brilliant. Let me tell you how Popo redesigned the story, and cast his crew - an ensemble which no one can ever forget, wait, they've done just that, anyways, here's the story:
"Okay, welcome everybody!" greeted Popo with his fabricated New Zealand accent... I mean, come on! Everyone knows he's from Canada, please!... But continuing on, he briefly went over the auditioning sequence each actor was to go through.
Everything was going smoothly. The music was loud, and the stage PJ built in the abandoned factory held its place. Jackson managed to cast most of the characters with ease. Legolas was to be played by a gorgeous natural blond in the name of Melvin, and the butcher down the road was cast as Gimli, son of Gloin. Frodo was a 10 year old kid that PJ cleverly lured in with sugar sticks, and Sam was his brother. Gandalf was a tall and exceptionally hairy senile, yet gentle and graceful old man that PJ had kidnapped from the old folks home. As for Elrond, well, he didn't included Elrond in his play. So, the list went on, and the actors became less and less qualified, but something terrible had happened, they didn't have their Aragorn!! "How can we not have our central character?!" PJ rambled on to his stage crew, which was composed of his favourite teddy bear, Teddy, and a microwave he found in a dumpster, also named Teddy. "What to do, what to do..?!" Then, suddenly, Teddy (No. 1) came up with a marvelous idea, and so he spoke from the side of Popo's mouth, "Why don't you call your friend, the famous stage dancer, Miguel Fartley!" "GREAT IDEA TEDDY! I don't know what I would've done with out you. If Miguel Fartley is the Lord of the "Two step Folk" Dance, then he must be fit for a king, our King!!" And so PJ called up his buddy. Soon enough, Miguel showed up all dressed in his tight, flashy dancing attire, including a bulging belly. "I'm here! Now, where's the stage? Where are those low lives that are to be shadowed by my performance?" An awkward silence fell between him and the rest of the cast members.and it was an extremely awkward moment indeed. "Welcome Miguel! I'm so honoured that you've come" PJ finally broke in. "Okay, Okay, that's enough, get away from me, I don't really know you anyways, I'm only here because I haven't had a gig in years, so when is the first pay cheque?" "Pay cheque? Oh, Oh.You must be confused, you're doing this from generosity of your heart, remember?" reminded PJ. "WHAT?!" huffed Fartley, "well then, consider yourself in luck; I'll do this for charity purposes. Let me remind you, that you're so fortunate that, that critic gave you a good preliminary review, or else I wouldn't be here." "Oh yeah, that guy..." shied away Popo.
So the first scene was rehearsed with all the characters costumed up in the clothes they brought from home, PJ told them that this was to be a "hip" adaptation of LOTR, condensed into ten minutes, and maybe more 5 minutes more in the extended cut. Yes, that's right, if Peter Jackson was able to make some of movie history's longest, bestest, films ever; in fact, he made three of them, then Popo can condense them all into one of history's shortest major adaptations on stage! Whether it be good or not, we'll have to wait until the end to see.
To be continued...
It was late summer of 2004, months following the huge success of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, where Popo Jackson, bastard brother of Peter Jackson, decided to milk from his brother's success by making and adaptation of an adaptation, but an on stage version!
"Brilliant!" exclaimed one critic who loved the idea; sadly he didn't know what he was talking about, for the final product was everything but brilliant. Let me tell you how Popo redesigned the story, and cast his crew - an ensemble which no one can ever forget, wait, they've done just that, anyways, here's the story:
"Okay, welcome everybody!" greeted Popo with his fabricated New Zealand accent... I mean, come on! Everyone knows he's from Canada, please!... But continuing on, he briefly went over the auditioning sequence each actor was to go through.
Everything was going smoothly. The music was loud, and the stage PJ built in the abandoned factory held its place. Jackson managed to cast most of the characters with ease. Legolas was to be played by a gorgeous natural blond in the name of Melvin, and the butcher down the road was cast as Gimli, son of Gloin. Frodo was a 10 year old kid that PJ cleverly lured in with sugar sticks, and Sam was his brother. Gandalf was a tall and exceptionally hairy senile, yet gentle and graceful old man that PJ had kidnapped from the old folks home. As for Elrond, well, he didn't included Elrond in his play. So, the list went on, and the actors became less and less qualified, but something terrible had happened, they didn't have their Aragorn!! "How can we not have our central character?!" PJ rambled on to his stage crew, which was composed of his favourite teddy bear, Teddy, and a microwave he found in a dumpster, also named Teddy. "What to do, what to do..?!" Then, suddenly, Teddy (No. 1) came up with a marvelous idea, and so he spoke from the side of Popo's mouth, "Why don't you call your friend, the famous stage dancer, Miguel Fartley!" "GREAT IDEA TEDDY! I don't know what I would've done with out you. If Miguel Fartley is the Lord of the "Two step Folk" Dance, then he must be fit for a king, our King!!" And so PJ called up his buddy. Soon enough, Miguel showed up all dressed in his tight, flashy dancing attire, including a bulging belly. "I'm here! Now, where's the stage? Where are those low lives that are to be shadowed by my performance?" An awkward silence fell between him and the rest of the cast members.and it was an extremely awkward moment indeed. "Welcome Miguel! I'm so honoured that you've come" PJ finally broke in. "Okay, Okay, that's enough, get away from me, I don't really know you anyways, I'm only here because I haven't had a gig in years, so when is the first pay cheque?" "Pay cheque? Oh, Oh.You must be confused, you're doing this from generosity of your heart, remember?" reminded PJ. "WHAT?!" huffed Fartley, "well then, consider yourself in luck; I'll do this for charity purposes. Let me remind you, that you're so fortunate that, that critic gave you a good preliminary review, or else I wouldn't be here." "Oh yeah, that guy..." shied away Popo.
So the first scene was rehearsed with all the characters costumed up in the clothes they brought from home, PJ told them that this was to be a "hip" adaptation of LOTR, condensed into ten minutes, and maybe more 5 minutes more in the extended cut. Yes, that's right, if Peter Jackson was able to make some of movie history's longest, bestest, films ever; in fact, he made three of them, then Popo can condense them all into one of history's shortest major adaptations on stage! Whether it be good or not, we'll have to wait until the end to see.
To be continued...