Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters portrayed in this fic... right now... if -when- I take control of Marvel I'll sue myself so that justice is served, in the meantime, rest assured that it is slowly on it's way. I'm not gaining any money from this, anyway.

X-mon: The day the world said 'Poke' (The Strangest of Fics)

A fic by Wanderer D

"Dr. Strange has become more... strange... than normal..." - Rad, after hearing what I had planned.

A swirl of magical energy engulfed the room as Dr. Strange invoked the spirit god of the sun: RA

At long last, Strange was strangely prepared for his strange battle with the strangest of evils: Mephisto, otherwise known as Nicky.

True to his name, strange energies fluxed by, gathering around his circle of strange protection.

[The actual rant was muttered in a dark and esoteric tongue unexplainable and non dubbable, so, we have taken the liberty of actually... making it up, so it's probably not what he said, although it's the gist of it.]

"Ra, I, Dr. Strange, invoke your power! Let the force of light force it's way into the deepest cavern and home to darkness!"

The sun flared as Ra answered Strange's call and a ray of light sped towards earth.

At that moment, though, Norin Rad, better known as Silver Surfer, was doing an orbit around the planet that had turned his universe upside down.

Ra's ray, being light, hit the Surfer's head with a resounding lack of sound -it's space, after all- and the silvery head reflected the light into New York at one of those abandoned warehouses that seemed to be available every time a Super-villain needs it for a fight or world-conquering.

At that moment, The Super Villain formerly known as Magnus, now known as Magneto, formerly friend of Xavier, now father to Pietro, was fighting the superhero team known as the X-men, and their mentor, his former friend.

Ra's ray transcended dimensions, and somehow managed to pass through the ceiling and hit the X-men.

"What the?!" Wolverine, the local brawler and kebab expert muttered as he, Jean, Storm, Beast, Jubilee, and Xavier were bathed in light, which started to turn an unhealthy shade of Green.

Up in space, a battle was taking place. Silver Surfer had pissed off his enemy, Thanos, and both were wreaking havoc with the Mystical energy Ra was sending.

The aforementioned god of the Sun wondered why his energies were not arriving with Strange and decided to heighten the dose, sending waves and waves of eldritch sunny energy which sped steadily towards the earth.

However, Thanos' shinny buttocks reflected this second wave and sent it speeding through time and space, arriving at the nightmare world of some people, and paradise for part-time trainers...

Frustrated that his attempts were being thwarted by unknown forces, Strange rose to the heavens and *demanded* Ra to get the f*** done with it, which pissed the Egyptian to no ends. And so he called his godly powers, calling back the stray energy -which now glowed red- and shot it back towards earth, and doubling the power in the process.

Thanos noticed a red beam coming his way and decided that he was being attacked, grabbing the Surfer's left foot, he swung Norin Rad and batted the energy, scoring a direct hit on the abandoned warehouse.

The light bathed the X-men again, and they mutated... again. When he saw his darling Jean becoming something different, Cyclops who had avoided the beam, jumped forth mightily in a heroic and commendable attempt to save his one true love... only to become dust when he touched the beam.

Magneto, noticing this, wisely kept away from the beam as it flared and bathed the area in light, preventing him from seeing anything.

When the light receded, he smirked, then grinned, then turned around, trying to suppress laughter... and failed.

Where the once mighty group called the X-men stood... something else.

*** True to villainous standards, Magneto left the place, intent on stopping laughing some day.

The X-men stumbled around in despair, blinded by the blast.

"Wolverine? Jean? Storm? Jubilee? Beast?" A voice said hesitantly as they started to regain sight.

"Professor?" Asked a female voice shakily. "I feel strange..."

"It's okay, Jean," Xavier answered, his vision still blurry. He could make out small forms around him.

"SQUACK!"

"Yes, Ororo, I too feel..." Xavier stopped in mid sentence.

"Did she just squa-" Jean stopped and stared at everyone. Like Professor X, she had just recovered her sight, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from the scene.

"Sandslash! Slash!" Wolverine cursed.

Somehow, Jean could understand what he had said. "Well, Logan, you shouldn't swear like that!"

"..." A mass of blue tentacle-like vines walked around staring at the others. Beast missed his fur.

Where Storm had stood now stood a yellow bird that crackled with electricity. A cat, Wolverine, was standing protectively next to a crying orange pup with black stripes that growled to itself from time to time. Jubilee.

A strange, purple cat-like creature was struggling to stand next to the professor's overturned chair.

Finally she looked down at herself. And fainted.

***

"Zzzz"

"ROGUE!"

"Zzzz -snort- zzz"

"ROGUE! THIS IS THE PROFESSOR!"

"Uh?! Ah!" Rogue fell back and struggled to get to the computer.

"What is it, Prof?" She asked to the communicator.

"We have a situation here..."

"Ah, what kinda situation?"

"... just get over here... and bring some Purina..."

THE END

-to be continued?

Nah... ¬_¬ or maybe... nah...