A\N: Becky Greenleaf here. Sorry about the delay but childishly I asked for
the reviews to reach to a nice 60 before I updated again. But I'm glad to
see people are reading my story and enjoying it. It gives me great joy to
know that I can make someone laugh. Also I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean
three times and I can't wait for the DVD! Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom
rule!! Woo-hoo! Can't wait for Spec. Ed of TTT! Can't wait for ROTK! I have
seen the trailer about twenty times because we have it on tape. I can't
wait for the movie. I cried when I saw the trailer. But sadly, the movie
does not premiere by me till Christmas Day (December 25th)! Oh well.anyway
on with the chapter.
Dundadadadadadadadaddun.this chapter is dedicated to all my dear girls (and possibly boys) at The Borders of Middle-Earth! This chapter is for you, my Leggy and Aragorn and other ME obsessed people! GO BOME!
BTW, if you wanna join my Yahoo! Club just send me an email and I'll send you an invite. Or just mention it in your review!
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the plot (if there is any in this wacky story) and myself. Missy owns herself. Everyone else belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien. KFC belongs to Colonel Sanders or whoever it was that founded KFC. I DO NOT OWN!
Chapter 23: Scuffles, Issues, Food and More Madness
Saruman stood in his chamber in the tower of Orthanc, in the caverns of Isengard. He was communicating with the Sauron through the Palantír.
"The world is changing. Who now has the strength to stand against the armies of Isengard and Mordor? To stand against the might of Sauron and Saruman and the union of the Two Towers? Together, Lord Sauron, we shall rule this Middle-Earth."
"EXCUSE ME but who told you that *we* would be ruling this Middle-Earth, hmm?" the voice of Sauron shouted out of the Palantír. "Eh Saruman, of many colors?"
"Yes, my lord. Sorry my lord. So sorry my lord. I did not mean to my lord!" Saruman said, trembling immediately and turning whiter if possible. "I never meant to my lord!"
"Quit your mumbling, you fool!" Sauron shouted and Saruman went silent as the grave.
The caverns of Isengard glowed with the fire of industry, the sound of hammering was heard and molten iron was being poured into casts.
"The old world will burn in the fires of industry. Forests will fall. A new order will rise. We will drive the machinery of war with the sword and the spear and the iron fist of the Orc. We have only to remove those who oppose us," Saruman said.
Saruman stood in the midst of a gathering of Wildmen who were becoming extremely rowdy. They were carrying torches and weapons.
"The horsemen have taken your lands. They drove your people into the hills to scratch a living of rocks," Saruman said, riling the crowd more.
"MURDERERS!" the crowd screamed, sounding very much like a bunch of fangirls screaming for Orlando Bloom.
"Take back the lands they stole from you. Burn every village!" Saruman chanted, waving his staff wildly and braining a couple of Wildmen over the head.
"It will begin in Rohan. Too long have these peasants stood against you. But no more," Saruman declared.
The Wildmen took off, whooping and cheering and waving their weapons in the air as Saruman walked amongst them, rolling his eyes at their stupidity.
*******************************************************************
At a Random Village somewhere in Rohan*:
The Wildmen and Orcs were attacking a village. People were running and screaming everywhere. In the midst of it all, a woman dashed towards a horse and called out for her children.
"Eothain, take your sister. You'll go faster with just two," the mother instructed.
"But Papa says Eothain must not ride Gerolt. He's too big for him!" the daughter, Freda protested. "Besides, I don't like horses!"
"Listen to me!" the mother said, exasperation evident. "You must ride to Edoras and raise the alarm. Do you understand?"
"Yes mum," Eothain replied.
"I don't wanna leave! I don't wanna go!" Freda protested. "Hate riding horses! Hate them!"
Gerolt, the horse, gave a neigh of protest and shook himself all over. Freda gave a slight scream as she nearly fell off the horse. Luckily Eothain grabbed her in time.
"Listen to me. I will find you there," the mother said as the screams became louder.
"Quickly!" she shouted after Gerolt as the horse took off with Freda and Eothain on its back. "Go child."
Freda looks over her shoulder and weeps as the Orcs and Wildmen set fire to the village and murdered everyone in sight.
"But I hate horses!" came the last mumbled protest.
"Rohan, my lord, is ready to fall," Saruman said.
*******************************************************************
EDORAS
A group of horsemen ride to Edoras. Éomer is in the lead, carrying a wounded Théodred in front of him.
Éowyn runs hastily up the stairs to the Golden Hall, nearly tripping four times over her long white gown and burst into a bedchamber. She runs to the bed where Théodred lay. At his side, knelt Éomer.
"Théodred!" Éowyn shrieked, hands fluttering to her mouth.
Théodred winced and tried to move his hands to cover his ears, but to no avail.
"He may not be able to quite move but he's not deaf, Éowyn," Éomer scolded. "Sheesh."
Théodred managed to nod in agreement. He had a bloody gash on the side of his head. Éomer nodded to Éowyn in the direction of Théodred's torso. Éowyn drew back the bedcovers. She saw Théodred's fatal wound and with a loud, girlish shriek she fainted onto the floor.
"Yay," Théodred managed to mutter.
"I daresay I agree with you there fully," Éomer replied, gazing down at his unconscious sister.
*******************************************************************
A while later, when Éowyn had picked herself up off the floor with a vibrant blush in her cheeks, she and her brother went to see King Théoden who looked like he had seriously seen better days.
"Your son is badly wounded, my lord," Éowyn said, her hand on his.
"He was ambushed by Orcs!" Éomer interrupted loudly.
"Well there goes the calm, subtle approach," Éowyn muttered under her breath.
"What was that, Fainting Daffodil?" Éomer retorted.
"Nothing," Éowyn said and immediately fell silent.
"If we don't defend our country, Saruman will take it by force!" Éomer went on, a little less loudly than before.
"That is a lie!" Gríma said, emerging from whatever dark corner he'd been skulking in. "Saruman the White has ever been our friend and ally."
"Not all of us here are stupid, you know," Éomer said. "You can talk a little faster."
"Gríma... Gríma," Théoden murmured. Gríma immediately bent towards him. Éomer shot him a glare and Gríma stuck out his black, forked tongue at him and hissed. Éomer jumped like a wet cat.
Éowyn knocked Éomer on the back of his head with her fist and he immediately straightened up.
"Orcs are roaming freely across our lands. Unchecked, unchallenged, killing at will. Orcs bearing the white hand of Saruman," Éomer said, taking revenge and kicking his sister in the foot. Unfortunately for Éowyn, he was still wearing his heavy boots. Gríma aimed a deadly glare at him but Éomer stuck his tongue out now.
As Éowyn hopped about the room on one foot Éomer dropped a helmet onto the ground, which rolled over to reveal the marking of the White Hand of Saruman.
"Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind? Can you not see? Your uncle is weary of your.... malcontent, your warmongering," Gríma said with another glare at Éomer, as Éowyn took another hop around the room on her good foot.
"Warmongering?!" Éomer shouted, positively incensed. "I'll show you warmongering!" He pulled out his sword and jabbed it at Gríma who took off, running around the room. Éomer immediately gave chase.
"How long has it been since Saruman bought you? What was the promised price, Gríma? When all the men are dead you would take a share of the treasure?" Éomer grabbed Gríma by his filthy, black hair and shoved him against a column.
Gríma's eyes fell on Éowyn who had accidentally kicked a column with her good foot and was rolling on the ground, her arms wrapped around her two legs.
"Too long have you watched my sister, too long have you haunted her steps," Éomer said, taking the opportunity to knock Gríma on the head with the hilt of his sword. "Stay away from her, you hear me, Wormtongue! That's my little sister, Mom said I HAD to take care of her, and so I will!"
"You see much, Éomer son of Éomund. Too much," Gríma said, a bit woozily. Some associates of Gríma came up behind Eomer and pulled him away from Gríma. "You are banished forthwith from the kingdom of Rohan, under pain of death."
*******************************************************************
The Uruk-hai and the Orcs were still marching across the Plains of Rohan, Merry and Pippin still captive. Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Missy and Becky were still in hot pursuit; all suffering from their wounds they had received on their plunges down the hill.
"Keep breathing, that's the key! Breathe! Ho!" Gimli said, struggling to breathe as he hurried along.
"They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them," Legolas noticed, running along easily though with a limp and with his back even straighter than usual.
"Aah!" Becky moaned. "Don't talk about pain! Pain is evil and wicked and it HURTS!" Her hand was in a makeshift cast and she kept clutching her stomach.
"Moo!" Missy mooed her agreement. She had a band around her ankle and was nearly doubled over in pain, because of her stomach.
"Will you stop complaining?" Aragorn retorted. He was now in the lead. However everyone noticed the Ranger was running with one hand on his back and one on his stomach.
"Estel, you look as if you were with child!" Legolas couldn't help but point out.
"WHAT?!" Aragorn immediately froze, turned and glared at his Elven Companion. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
"He said you looked like you were pregnant," Becky said, helpfully. "There's a teacher in my school who walks just like that and she's eight and a half months pregnant. Teeheeehehehehehe."
Gimli, Becky, Missy and Legolas all snickered.
"You have put on a bit of size," Legolas noted, an evil grin on his lips. "Have you informed Arwen?"
"You're dead, you nancing skinny-as-a-macaroni Elf!" Aragorn dove at Legolas. He tackled him around the neck and wrestled him to the ground.
"AAH! You're messing up my hair!" Legolas screamed. "I'll strangle you!"
"My darling's hair!" Well you all know who said that.
"Hey! Ouch! My hair may be greasy but at least it's real!" I suppose you know the answer to that as well.
"Not my Aragorn!" That was rather predictable. "Get away from him, Becky!"
"Fangirls and the objects of their obsessions," sighed a Dwarf.
*******************************************************************
It was nightfall and the Uruk-hai and the Orcs halted, panting. Several keeled over, never to be heard from again.
"We ain't goin' no further till we've 'ad a breather," Random Orc number 489 complained.
"Get a fire going!" Random Uruk-hai number 455 (A\N: remember him from Chapter 22?) snarled.
The Uruk-hai and the Orcs immediately began hacking away at the trees with their axes.
"Merry! Merry!" Pippin called, attempting to kick his cousin. "Merry! Merry!"
There was absolutely no response from his older cousin.
"FOR THE LOVE OF MUSHROOMS, MERRY!" Pippin shouted. Merry immediately leapt awake.
"Where mushrooms where?" Merry said.
"Well, it's about time! Have you any idea how long I've been awake?" Pippin declared.
"I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin," Merry noted.
"You can say that again," Pippin pouted.
"I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin," Merry echoed again.
Pippin sighed. "I didn't mean literally. Good-"
A loud rumbling like that of many drums filled the air.
"What's making that noise?" Pippin asked, leaping in fright.
"It's the trees!" Merry noted with wonder.
"What?" Pippin asked, eyes wide.
"Weren't you listening, stupid? I said the bloody trees!" Merry said, rolling his eyes.
Pippin gazed at him with big, sad eyes and he burst into tears. (At this time, the Pippin fangirls pick up pieces of sticks and wave them menacingly at the computer screen.) All right, all right, the author is repenting.
"Oh Pippin! Don't cry!" Merry said, attempting to pat his cousin on the head but finding that his hands were bound, he gave up. "Stop crying before Becky finds me!"
Pippin stopped crying but he remained pouting. "Go on."
"You remember the Old Forest? On the borders of Buckland? Folk used to say that there was something in the water that made the trees grow tall, and come alive!" Merry opted for the dramatic approach, widening his eyes and making his face look eerily mysterious.
"Cut the melodrama, Merry. The only ones who drool are the fangirls and clearly there aren't many around here," Pippin said, indicating the ugly Uruk-hai and the Orcs. "Unless they're disguised as trees!"
Merry just sighed and cleared his throat.
"Anyway. Alive?" Pippin said, looking astonished.
"Trees that could whisper, talk to each other, even move!" Merry finished in a low whisper.
"Living Trees?!" Pippin asked, eyes wide.
"Trees were always living, stupid. Duh!" Merry rolled his eyes.
"I'm starving. We ain't 'ad nothin' but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days!" Random Uruk-hai 642 shouted, tossing the bread.
"Yeah! Why can't we have some meat?" Random Orc 866 said, gazing at the Hobbits and seeing a 20-piece box of KFC laid out before him. "What about them? They're fresh!"
"They are not for eating!" Random Uruk-hai 899 snarled.
"What about their legs? They don't need those. Ooh! They look tasty!" Random Orc 546 said, thinking to himself that they looked like Crispy KFC chicken.
"Get back!" Random Uruk-hai 899 hissed.
"Just a mouthful?" Random Orc 866 said, leaning forward with his sword.
Random Uruk-hai 899's sword came down so fast, no one saw anything. It hacked off Random Orc 866's head.
"Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!" Random Uruk-hai 899 said. The Uruk-hai and the Orcs cheered and dug into Random Orc 866's body.
"I do suppose I taste like KFC," Random Orc 866's GHOST thought as he floated away.
"That was FREAKY!" Pippin said, shivering.
"Come on. Pippin, let's go!" Merry said. The Hobbits began crawling away though their hands were bound. They had gotten a bit far from the melee when...............a foot came down on Merry and pinned him to the ground.
"Go on! Call for help. Squeal! No one's gonna save you now!" Random Orc 546 hissed at them.
Suddenly a spear arched through the air and pierced his back. He tipped over as the Rohirrim began their attack on the Uruk-hai and Orcs.
The Hobbits tried to escape from the pandemonium to the forest. Suddenly Pippin trips and rolls over onto his back, his stomach exposed.
Above him, a horse reared back, his hooves flailing.
"I can't see a thing! Those evil Rohirrim riders making me work overtime with the sleep thick in my eyes!"
"AHH!" Pippin shrieked loudly. He was trying vainly to catch the horse's (if not the rider's) attention.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So there ends Chapter 23. I love, love, love your review so please leave them ;) Thank you to everyone who left reviews for this and Prisoners. Love you guys! *hugs* Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Here's your review notes!
Serpent of Light: Thanks sooooo much for the review! I hope you adored this chapter!
Elróthiel: Hi! Thanks so much for the really long, sweet review! In Japan huh? How cool! I've heard of Gundam Wing but I'm not really into that kind of stuff. A Matrix version of this story would be cool, but I've really only seen the first Matrix years and years ago and I haven't seen Reloaded yet. Don't really want to. At lease Elrondie comes back! Woo-hoo! BTW, thankies for joining BOME!
Guess-Hi there dearest! How are you? Thanks for the reviews! I feel so loved! I know, you're angry. Oh well.
Queen of Mirkwood-Heya! Thanks for the review! Yeah we love chocolate! Thankies, my story is hilarious! BTW, Legolas belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien sweetie!
Dundadadadadadadadaddun.this chapter is dedicated to all my dear girls (and possibly boys) at The Borders of Middle-Earth! This chapter is for you, my Leggy and Aragorn and other ME obsessed people! GO BOME!
BTW, if you wanna join my Yahoo! Club just send me an email and I'll send you an invite. Or just mention it in your review!
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the plot (if there is any in this wacky story) and myself. Missy owns herself. Everyone else belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien. KFC belongs to Colonel Sanders or whoever it was that founded KFC. I DO NOT OWN!
Chapter 23: Scuffles, Issues, Food and More Madness
Saruman stood in his chamber in the tower of Orthanc, in the caverns of Isengard. He was communicating with the Sauron through the Palantír.
"The world is changing. Who now has the strength to stand against the armies of Isengard and Mordor? To stand against the might of Sauron and Saruman and the union of the Two Towers? Together, Lord Sauron, we shall rule this Middle-Earth."
"EXCUSE ME but who told you that *we* would be ruling this Middle-Earth, hmm?" the voice of Sauron shouted out of the Palantír. "Eh Saruman, of many colors?"
"Yes, my lord. Sorry my lord. So sorry my lord. I did not mean to my lord!" Saruman said, trembling immediately and turning whiter if possible. "I never meant to my lord!"
"Quit your mumbling, you fool!" Sauron shouted and Saruman went silent as the grave.
The caverns of Isengard glowed with the fire of industry, the sound of hammering was heard and molten iron was being poured into casts.
"The old world will burn in the fires of industry. Forests will fall. A new order will rise. We will drive the machinery of war with the sword and the spear and the iron fist of the Orc. We have only to remove those who oppose us," Saruman said.
Saruman stood in the midst of a gathering of Wildmen who were becoming extremely rowdy. They were carrying torches and weapons.
"The horsemen have taken your lands. They drove your people into the hills to scratch a living of rocks," Saruman said, riling the crowd more.
"MURDERERS!" the crowd screamed, sounding very much like a bunch of fangirls screaming for Orlando Bloom.
"Take back the lands they stole from you. Burn every village!" Saruman chanted, waving his staff wildly and braining a couple of Wildmen over the head.
"It will begin in Rohan. Too long have these peasants stood against you. But no more," Saruman declared.
The Wildmen took off, whooping and cheering and waving their weapons in the air as Saruman walked amongst them, rolling his eyes at their stupidity.
*******************************************************************
At a Random Village somewhere in Rohan*:
The Wildmen and Orcs were attacking a village. People were running and screaming everywhere. In the midst of it all, a woman dashed towards a horse and called out for her children.
"Eothain, take your sister. You'll go faster with just two," the mother instructed.
"But Papa says Eothain must not ride Gerolt. He's too big for him!" the daughter, Freda protested. "Besides, I don't like horses!"
"Listen to me!" the mother said, exasperation evident. "You must ride to Edoras and raise the alarm. Do you understand?"
"Yes mum," Eothain replied.
"I don't wanna leave! I don't wanna go!" Freda protested. "Hate riding horses! Hate them!"
Gerolt, the horse, gave a neigh of protest and shook himself all over. Freda gave a slight scream as she nearly fell off the horse. Luckily Eothain grabbed her in time.
"Listen to me. I will find you there," the mother said as the screams became louder.
"Quickly!" she shouted after Gerolt as the horse took off with Freda and Eothain on its back. "Go child."
Freda looks over her shoulder and weeps as the Orcs and Wildmen set fire to the village and murdered everyone in sight.
"But I hate horses!" came the last mumbled protest.
"Rohan, my lord, is ready to fall," Saruman said.
*******************************************************************
EDORAS
A group of horsemen ride to Edoras. Éomer is in the lead, carrying a wounded Théodred in front of him.
Éowyn runs hastily up the stairs to the Golden Hall, nearly tripping four times over her long white gown and burst into a bedchamber. She runs to the bed where Théodred lay. At his side, knelt Éomer.
"Théodred!" Éowyn shrieked, hands fluttering to her mouth.
Théodred winced and tried to move his hands to cover his ears, but to no avail.
"He may not be able to quite move but he's not deaf, Éowyn," Éomer scolded. "Sheesh."
Théodred managed to nod in agreement. He had a bloody gash on the side of his head. Éomer nodded to Éowyn in the direction of Théodred's torso. Éowyn drew back the bedcovers. She saw Théodred's fatal wound and with a loud, girlish shriek she fainted onto the floor.
"Yay," Théodred managed to mutter.
"I daresay I agree with you there fully," Éomer replied, gazing down at his unconscious sister.
*******************************************************************
A while later, when Éowyn had picked herself up off the floor with a vibrant blush in her cheeks, she and her brother went to see King Théoden who looked like he had seriously seen better days.
"Your son is badly wounded, my lord," Éowyn said, her hand on his.
"He was ambushed by Orcs!" Éomer interrupted loudly.
"Well there goes the calm, subtle approach," Éowyn muttered under her breath.
"What was that, Fainting Daffodil?" Éomer retorted.
"Nothing," Éowyn said and immediately fell silent.
"If we don't defend our country, Saruman will take it by force!" Éomer went on, a little less loudly than before.
"That is a lie!" Gríma said, emerging from whatever dark corner he'd been skulking in. "Saruman the White has ever been our friend and ally."
"Not all of us here are stupid, you know," Éomer said. "You can talk a little faster."
"Gríma... Gríma," Théoden murmured. Gríma immediately bent towards him. Éomer shot him a glare and Gríma stuck out his black, forked tongue at him and hissed. Éomer jumped like a wet cat.
Éowyn knocked Éomer on the back of his head with her fist and he immediately straightened up.
"Orcs are roaming freely across our lands. Unchecked, unchallenged, killing at will. Orcs bearing the white hand of Saruman," Éomer said, taking revenge and kicking his sister in the foot. Unfortunately for Éowyn, he was still wearing his heavy boots. Gríma aimed a deadly glare at him but Éomer stuck his tongue out now.
As Éowyn hopped about the room on one foot Éomer dropped a helmet onto the ground, which rolled over to reveal the marking of the White Hand of Saruman.
"Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind? Can you not see? Your uncle is weary of your.... malcontent, your warmongering," Gríma said with another glare at Éomer, as Éowyn took another hop around the room on her good foot.
"Warmongering?!" Éomer shouted, positively incensed. "I'll show you warmongering!" He pulled out his sword and jabbed it at Gríma who took off, running around the room. Éomer immediately gave chase.
"How long has it been since Saruman bought you? What was the promised price, Gríma? When all the men are dead you would take a share of the treasure?" Éomer grabbed Gríma by his filthy, black hair and shoved him against a column.
Gríma's eyes fell on Éowyn who had accidentally kicked a column with her good foot and was rolling on the ground, her arms wrapped around her two legs.
"Too long have you watched my sister, too long have you haunted her steps," Éomer said, taking the opportunity to knock Gríma on the head with the hilt of his sword. "Stay away from her, you hear me, Wormtongue! That's my little sister, Mom said I HAD to take care of her, and so I will!"
"You see much, Éomer son of Éomund. Too much," Gríma said, a bit woozily. Some associates of Gríma came up behind Eomer and pulled him away from Gríma. "You are banished forthwith from the kingdom of Rohan, under pain of death."
*******************************************************************
The Uruk-hai and the Orcs were still marching across the Plains of Rohan, Merry and Pippin still captive. Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Missy and Becky were still in hot pursuit; all suffering from their wounds they had received on their plunges down the hill.
"Keep breathing, that's the key! Breathe! Ho!" Gimli said, struggling to breathe as he hurried along.
"They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them," Legolas noticed, running along easily though with a limp and with his back even straighter than usual.
"Aah!" Becky moaned. "Don't talk about pain! Pain is evil and wicked and it HURTS!" Her hand was in a makeshift cast and she kept clutching her stomach.
"Moo!" Missy mooed her agreement. She had a band around her ankle and was nearly doubled over in pain, because of her stomach.
"Will you stop complaining?" Aragorn retorted. He was now in the lead. However everyone noticed the Ranger was running with one hand on his back and one on his stomach.
"Estel, you look as if you were with child!" Legolas couldn't help but point out.
"WHAT?!" Aragorn immediately froze, turned and glared at his Elven Companion. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
"He said you looked like you were pregnant," Becky said, helpfully. "There's a teacher in my school who walks just like that and she's eight and a half months pregnant. Teeheeehehehehehe."
Gimli, Becky, Missy and Legolas all snickered.
"You have put on a bit of size," Legolas noted, an evil grin on his lips. "Have you informed Arwen?"
"You're dead, you nancing skinny-as-a-macaroni Elf!" Aragorn dove at Legolas. He tackled him around the neck and wrestled him to the ground.
"AAH! You're messing up my hair!" Legolas screamed. "I'll strangle you!"
"My darling's hair!" Well you all know who said that.
"Hey! Ouch! My hair may be greasy but at least it's real!" I suppose you know the answer to that as well.
"Not my Aragorn!" That was rather predictable. "Get away from him, Becky!"
"Fangirls and the objects of their obsessions," sighed a Dwarf.
*******************************************************************
It was nightfall and the Uruk-hai and the Orcs halted, panting. Several keeled over, never to be heard from again.
"We ain't goin' no further till we've 'ad a breather," Random Orc number 489 complained.
"Get a fire going!" Random Uruk-hai number 455 (A\N: remember him from Chapter 22?) snarled.
The Uruk-hai and the Orcs immediately began hacking away at the trees with their axes.
"Merry! Merry!" Pippin called, attempting to kick his cousin. "Merry! Merry!"
There was absolutely no response from his older cousin.
"FOR THE LOVE OF MUSHROOMS, MERRY!" Pippin shouted. Merry immediately leapt awake.
"Where mushrooms where?" Merry said.
"Well, it's about time! Have you any idea how long I've been awake?" Pippin declared.
"I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin," Merry noted.
"You can say that again," Pippin pouted.
"I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin," Merry echoed again.
Pippin sighed. "I didn't mean literally. Good-"
A loud rumbling like that of many drums filled the air.
"What's making that noise?" Pippin asked, leaping in fright.
"It's the trees!" Merry noted with wonder.
"What?" Pippin asked, eyes wide.
"Weren't you listening, stupid? I said the bloody trees!" Merry said, rolling his eyes.
Pippin gazed at him with big, sad eyes and he burst into tears. (At this time, the Pippin fangirls pick up pieces of sticks and wave them menacingly at the computer screen.) All right, all right, the author is repenting.
"Oh Pippin! Don't cry!" Merry said, attempting to pat his cousin on the head but finding that his hands were bound, he gave up. "Stop crying before Becky finds me!"
Pippin stopped crying but he remained pouting. "Go on."
"You remember the Old Forest? On the borders of Buckland? Folk used to say that there was something in the water that made the trees grow tall, and come alive!" Merry opted for the dramatic approach, widening his eyes and making his face look eerily mysterious.
"Cut the melodrama, Merry. The only ones who drool are the fangirls and clearly there aren't many around here," Pippin said, indicating the ugly Uruk-hai and the Orcs. "Unless they're disguised as trees!"
Merry just sighed and cleared his throat.
"Anyway. Alive?" Pippin said, looking astonished.
"Trees that could whisper, talk to each other, even move!" Merry finished in a low whisper.
"Living Trees?!" Pippin asked, eyes wide.
"Trees were always living, stupid. Duh!" Merry rolled his eyes.
"I'm starving. We ain't 'ad nothin' but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days!" Random Uruk-hai 642 shouted, tossing the bread.
"Yeah! Why can't we have some meat?" Random Orc 866 said, gazing at the Hobbits and seeing a 20-piece box of KFC laid out before him. "What about them? They're fresh!"
"They are not for eating!" Random Uruk-hai 899 snarled.
"What about their legs? They don't need those. Ooh! They look tasty!" Random Orc 546 said, thinking to himself that they looked like Crispy KFC chicken.
"Get back!" Random Uruk-hai 899 hissed.
"Just a mouthful?" Random Orc 866 said, leaning forward with his sword.
Random Uruk-hai 899's sword came down so fast, no one saw anything. It hacked off Random Orc 866's head.
"Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!" Random Uruk-hai 899 said. The Uruk-hai and the Orcs cheered and dug into Random Orc 866's body.
"I do suppose I taste like KFC," Random Orc 866's GHOST thought as he floated away.
"That was FREAKY!" Pippin said, shivering.
"Come on. Pippin, let's go!" Merry said. The Hobbits began crawling away though their hands were bound. They had gotten a bit far from the melee when...............a foot came down on Merry and pinned him to the ground.
"Go on! Call for help. Squeal! No one's gonna save you now!" Random Orc 546 hissed at them.
Suddenly a spear arched through the air and pierced his back. He tipped over as the Rohirrim began their attack on the Uruk-hai and Orcs.
The Hobbits tried to escape from the pandemonium to the forest. Suddenly Pippin trips and rolls over onto his back, his stomach exposed.
Above him, a horse reared back, his hooves flailing.
"I can't see a thing! Those evil Rohirrim riders making me work overtime with the sleep thick in my eyes!"
"AHH!" Pippin shrieked loudly. He was trying vainly to catch the horse's (if not the rider's) attention.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So there ends Chapter 23. I love, love, love your review so please leave them ;) Thank you to everyone who left reviews for this and Prisoners. Love you guys! *hugs* Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Here's your review notes!
Serpent of Light: Thanks sooooo much for the review! I hope you adored this chapter!
Elróthiel: Hi! Thanks so much for the really long, sweet review! In Japan huh? How cool! I've heard of Gundam Wing but I'm not really into that kind of stuff. A Matrix version of this story would be cool, but I've really only seen the first Matrix years and years ago and I haven't seen Reloaded yet. Don't really want to. At lease Elrondie comes back! Woo-hoo! BTW, thankies for joining BOME!
Guess-Hi there dearest! How are you? Thanks for the reviews! I feel so loved! I know, you're angry. Oh well.
Queen of Mirkwood-Heya! Thanks for the review! Yeah we love chocolate! Thankies, my story is hilarious! BTW, Legolas belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien sweetie!