Chapter 8
Legolas studied Aragorn's eyes looking for evidence of deception, but found none. Realisation crossed his mind and his face slackened in defeat, a prickly sensation began to build in his eyes, tears threatened to spill.
He swallowed them bitterly. "How?"
"I do not know" Legolas sat down slowly, Aragorn sat beside him once more.
"I feel heavy and sluggish" Legolas started into Aragorn's face. "I feel valuable and weak" Legolas muttered, his composure cracking.
"This. It…I – I"
"Sshh" Aragorn soothed pulling Legolas into his chest; tears damped his shoulder, falling steadily from Legolas' eyes.
"We will pull through"
"We?"
"Yes, I will help you as much as I can"
Legolas raised his head from his friends' shoulder, "there is nothing a Man can do to replace what I have lost"
"Please, allow me to help you"
"I am a danger the group. I should leave"
"No you will stay, we need your mark"
"She shoots better then me. I am no use now"
Aragorn shook his comrade roughly. "We still need you"
"No, I will only be a hinder"
Aragorn sighed, thinking of another approach.
Legolas shuddered in his grasp.
"She knows" he said suddenly.
"Who?"
"Cassione" Aragorn lowered his hands, confused.
"Why do you think that?"
"It's the way she looks and acts. Its unnatural and unusual even for an Elf"
Aragorn frowned "She cares about you"
"Pah!" Legolas snorted to Aragorn's surprise. "She is only interested in the family wealth. Nothing more"
"But you were friends"
Legolas chuckled and shook his head. "No, no. It was you she adored. Don't you see?"
Aragorn blinked, confused.
Legolas sighed, "She cares for nothing. I am alone in this strange world"
"No you're not" Aragon placed a warm hand upon his comrade's thin shoulder.
Legolas fixed him with a searching glare. Honestly flared in the Ranger's eyes.
"We must learn to cope as we travel. Time is against us"
Legolas snorted again "How can I lead an Elven army?" he asked, crestfallen.
"You do not tell them"
"How was it them that both you and Cassione know without even myself knowing? If you notice, any Elf would see"
"Then help me lead the Men of Gondor" Aragorn tried adding more pressure onto Legolas' shoulder.
"I am no man" Legolas snapped pulling away. "I have no race. I am alone".
"Legolas" Aragorn called gently as his friend began to walk away. "You are not alone" But Legolas had already rounded the corner and out sight, out ear shot. "I will help you".
Alone with fresh white snow pilling up outside Aragorn sat on watch thinking half wishing he had not told his friend the truth. He feared he was not ready and his fears where correct. However Legolas' statement about Cassione adoring him, confused him. He cast his memory back to his childhood adventures with Legolas and Cassione would be there clinging to them like a broken and useable tail. Useless but there.
Maybe Legolas was right, maybe she did always adore himself then Legolas. But what does that mean now? Times have changed.
Legolas is the one suffering now.
Round the ice shelf and piles of snow Legolas stood chilled, the cold wind biting into his skin. Thoughts passed across his mind – he being mortal, everything he had been taught would be useless now. The Grey Heaven would not accept him now he thought. His Elven purity had been stained with shadows and doubt of being mortal. He shivered pulling his cloak tighter around him.
"I don't deserve such gifts anymore" he muttered, touching the Elven cloak and the twin blades at his hips.
"What would the elders think of me now?" he thought imaging his fathers face and hearing his cursing voice in the wind.
"But he knew" Legolas remembered Elrond's face before he left Rivendell, he would not meet his gaze as if he was on longer worthy to use up the Lord's time.
Galderial – how would she react? Does she already know? Quite, likely he thought she knows everything. Though she would be more forgiving then any of the other elders… still he was not a member of her kin.
"How can Aragorn help me? How could he possibly understand?" he thought suddenly looking back towards the cavern. "How could he understand – his mortal!" he kicked at the snow in frustration. He wouldn't understand.
"He didn't understand my suffering after that event thirty years ago." He shuddered, that still haunted him today even more so now he felt valuable and lonely, like he had felt then.
The darkness covered him, swallowed him…
"Stop!" he called out loud snapping himself back into the presence. He was surprised to find himself gripping his twin blades as if his fears were standing in front of him and he could fight them. He looked down at the blades in his hands feeling for the first time their light weight, never before had he noticed it before and the beauty of the workmanship surprised him. All this time he had taken it all for granted. He ran a finger over the etchings and down the sharp edges of the blades, drawing blood.
He shifted his grip on the hilts so one was underhand and the other overhand and tried to reclaim his elven grace and fluid movement of fighting he had. His feet moved sluggishly but obeyed his instructions his hands too were slow to react to his thoughts. Thrusting and parrying against an invisible enemy Legolas soon tired and found himself breathless. He stood still for a moment catching his breath feeling defeated.
"It is true I am mortal" he whispered watching the blood run down his fingertip onto the white snow. There was no denying it now.
Now the company had passed over the summit and were on the equally long, steep and cold path downwards. With the wind blowing into their faces the company slide and stumbled, their eyes watering and sore and their faces numb.
"What is the land below us?" Jacob pointed at the treetops in the distance.
"That is the woodland whelm of Lothlórien, the most beautiful of all the Elven cities" Aragorn nodded easterly. Jacob's face dropped. "You should not fear them, they are our allies."
"I don't fear them!" Jacob spoke louder then he attended. Aragorn glanced at the youngster, surprised.
"My brother and I dreamt of travelling the length and breathe of Middle-Earth. But it seems only I might fulfil our dream. He is sick; they say he won't last much longer." Jacob lowered his voice avoiding Aragorn's eyes.
Aragorn nodded understandably. "The Elves of Lothlórien will make your stay as comfortable and as peaceful as they can. They will understand if you say nothing in return. They have a great ability to understand the emotions of Mortals better then even we do."
Behind them Gilmi sighed and his fingers slipped into a pocket in his tunic. He still processed the hairs that Galderial had given him eight years ago, though he had to admit he was not looking forward to setting foot in another Elven city and found Lady Galderial slightly scary at first. But now he looked forward to laying his eyes on her soft, beautiful face again he just wished it was in different circumstances.
Legolas shuddered as he knew he would have to face Lady Galderial as what he is now. Cassione walked nearby completely unmoved by the idea of returning home, her face was set, eyes in the distant. Merry and Pippin exchanged looks of delight as they clearly thought about food. Sam, Aragorn noticed seemed distant too, remembering their first visit eight years ago.
Sam hadn't told any of the Fellowship that he had looked into Galderial's mirror and followed Frodo when the rested in Lothlórien. He hoped that he would not need to look again into that mirror for he saw images of death and destruction which he saw back at the Shire when they returned. He stopped suddenly recalling the images he saw – there was one that he had not yet seen come true. Trees burning and these trees seemed very, very familiar…
He pushed aside the image remembering that not all the images he saw came true… but it had been correct about Boromir and the Shire…
Gandalf nudged him from behind to encourage him forward and placed a calming hand on his shoulder smiling supportively.
The descent seemed shorter then the climb upwards, many because the company felt they were sliding down the mountainside, rather then walking and the path was less winding then the climb. By nightfall the ground levelled and the vegetation changed from bare, frozen ground to lushes grass and wild flowers. Aragorn called for halt and they rested for the night and the company broke camp, settling themselves down quietly most were too tired to talk.
Cassione sat next to Legolas' bed roll where he lay, not wishing to talk to her.
"Is there anything I can do to help you?" she asked sweetly.
"Nah, there is nothing"
"But I see you suffer"
"Do not fear for me"
She smirked, "Fear comes in many forms, Legolas. I am one of them"
"I have no fears"
"You lie." She teased leaning closer she whispered. "And you know it - friend"
"Friend?" he snapped sitting up sharply. "Since when have I been your friend?"
"You know very well when"
He snorted slightly, but somehow felt uneasy.
"You remember clearly, don't lie. You can't deny what we saw –"
"Cassione, stop this. Go to sleep" but his voice began to lose strength as she forced him to remember when they were attacked in Mirkwood.
"How they crept upon us, how they -"
Legolas stood trying to avoid her words.
"Stop, Cassione, that's enough"
But Cassione dodged round and stopped in his path a pressed on.
"How they used you"
"No!" he turned to her, "stop this now!" he began to lose his composure.
"They pained you and –"
"Stop, Cassione – I"
"How they leeched –"
"Stop"
"Tormented, buckled and broke you"
"Cassione please!" his voice sounded near hysterical.
"Oh, I know your fears Legolas. I know them well, and now you should fear me" she stepped closer shadows moving in her eyes.
"What's going on here?" someone grunted, pushing in between the two blondes.
"Nothing that concerns you" Cassione hissed pushing Gilmi aside as she swept away.
Gilmi glanced up at Legolas, his face sweating and his breath laboured as if he'd just ran miles. His whole body seemed to terrible and his eyes were out of focus.
"Legolas, are you alright?" Gilmi asked, his brow frowned.
Legolas did not look at him, his eyes focused on Aragorn who came jogging towards them.
"What is it?" he asked.
"They'll here" Legolas squeaked.
"Who are?"
Suddenly Aragorn understood as he gazed into his friend's frightened eyes.
His hand flew to his sword and he drew it, "We can not stay here"
"Nor can we move"
"Then we will fight."
"They come" Legolas shuddered.
Something stirred about the camp and the sleeping company twitched as if aware of their presence.
"Awake, awake! " Shouted Aragorn. "Incoming!"
Legolas studied Aragorn's eyes looking for evidence of deception, but found none. Realisation crossed his mind and his face slackened in defeat, a prickly sensation began to build in his eyes, tears threatened to spill.
He swallowed them bitterly. "How?"
"I do not know" Legolas sat down slowly, Aragorn sat beside him once more.
"I feel heavy and sluggish" Legolas started into Aragorn's face. "I feel valuable and weak" Legolas muttered, his composure cracking.
"This. It…I – I"
"Sshh" Aragorn soothed pulling Legolas into his chest; tears damped his shoulder, falling steadily from Legolas' eyes.
"We will pull through"
"We?"
"Yes, I will help you as much as I can"
Legolas raised his head from his friends' shoulder, "there is nothing a Man can do to replace what I have lost"
"Please, allow me to help you"
"I am a danger the group. I should leave"
"No you will stay, we need your mark"
"She shoots better then me. I am no use now"
Aragorn shook his comrade roughly. "We still need you"
"No, I will only be a hinder"
Aragorn sighed, thinking of another approach.
Legolas shuddered in his grasp.
"She knows" he said suddenly.
"Who?"
"Cassione" Aragorn lowered his hands, confused.
"Why do you think that?"
"It's the way she looks and acts. Its unnatural and unusual even for an Elf"
Aragorn frowned "She cares about you"
"Pah!" Legolas snorted to Aragorn's surprise. "She is only interested in the family wealth. Nothing more"
"But you were friends"
Legolas chuckled and shook his head. "No, no. It was you she adored. Don't you see?"
Aragorn blinked, confused.
Legolas sighed, "She cares for nothing. I am alone in this strange world"
"No you're not" Aragon placed a warm hand upon his comrade's thin shoulder.
Legolas fixed him with a searching glare. Honestly flared in the Ranger's eyes.
"We must learn to cope as we travel. Time is against us"
Legolas snorted again "How can I lead an Elven army?" he asked, crestfallen.
"You do not tell them"
"How was it them that both you and Cassione know without even myself knowing? If you notice, any Elf would see"
"Then help me lead the Men of Gondor" Aragorn tried adding more pressure onto Legolas' shoulder.
"I am no man" Legolas snapped pulling away. "I have no race. I am alone".
"Legolas" Aragorn called gently as his friend began to walk away. "You are not alone" But Legolas had already rounded the corner and out sight, out ear shot. "I will help you".
Alone with fresh white snow pilling up outside Aragorn sat on watch thinking half wishing he had not told his friend the truth. He feared he was not ready and his fears where correct. However Legolas' statement about Cassione adoring him, confused him. He cast his memory back to his childhood adventures with Legolas and Cassione would be there clinging to them like a broken and useable tail. Useless but there.
Maybe Legolas was right, maybe she did always adore himself then Legolas. But what does that mean now? Times have changed.
Legolas is the one suffering now.
Round the ice shelf and piles of snow Legolas stood chilled, the cold wind biting into his skin. Thoughts passed across his mind – he being mortal, everything he had been taught would be useless now. The Grey Heaven would not accept him now he thought. His Elven purity had been stained with shadows and doubt of being mortal. He shivered pulling his cloak tighter around him.
"I don't deserve such gifts anymore" he muttered, touching the Elven cloak and the twin blades at his hips.
"What would the elders think of me now?" he thought imaging his fathers face and hearing his cursing voice in the wind.
"But he knew" Legolas remembered Elrond's face before he left Rivendell, he would not meet his gaze as if he was on longer worthy to use up the Lord's time.
Galderial – how would she react? Does she already know? Quite, likely he thought she knows everything. Though she would be more forgiving then any of the other elders… still he was not a member of her kin.
"How can Aragorn help me? How could he possibly understand?" he thought suddenly looking back towards the cavern. "How could he understand – his mortal!" he kicked at the snow in frustration. He wouldn't understand.
"He didn't understand my suffering after that event thirty years ago." He shuddered, that still haunted him today even more so now he felt valuable and lonely, like he had felt then.
The darkness covered him, swallowed him…
"Stop!" he called out loud snapping himself back into the presence. He was surprised to find himself gripping his twin blades as if his fears were standing in front of him and he could fight them. He looked down at the blades in his hands feeling for the first time their light weight, never before had he noticed it before and the beauty of the workmanship surprised him. All this time he had taken it all for granted. He ran a finger over the etchings and down the sharp edges of the blades, drawing blood.
He shifted his grip on the hilts so one was underhand and the other overhand and tried to reclaim his elven grace and fluid movement of fighting he had. His feet moved sluggishly but obeyed his instructions his hands too were slow to react to his thoughts. Thrusting and parrying against an invisible enemy Legolas soon tired and found himself breathless. He stood still for a moment catching his breath feeling defeated.
"It is true I am mortal" he whispered watching the blood run down his fingertip onto the white snow. There was no denying it now.
Now the company had passed over the summit and were on the equally long, steep and cold path downwards. With the wind blowing into their faces the company slide and stumbled, their eyes watering and sore and their faces numb.
"What is the land below us?" Jacob pointed at the treetops in the distance.
"That is the woodland whelm of Lothlórien, the most beautiful of all the Elven cities" Aragorn nodded easterly. Jacob's face dropped. "You should not fear them, they are our allies."
"I don't fear them!" Jacob spoke louder then he attended. Aragorn glanced at the youngster, surprised.
"My brother and I dreamt of travelling the length and breathe of Middle-Earth. But it seems only I might fulfil our dream. He is sick; they say he won't last much longer." Jacob lowered his voice avoiding Aragorn's eyes.
Aragorn nodded understandably. "The Elves of Lothlórien will make your stay as comfortable and as peaceful as they can. They will understand if you say nothing in return. They have a great ability to understand the emotions of Mortals better then even we do."
Behind them Gilmi sighed and his fingers slipped into a pocket in his tunic. He still processed the hairs that Galderial had given him eight years ago, though he had to admit he was not looking forward to setting foot in another Elven city and found Lady Galderial slightly scary at first. But now he looked forward to laying his eyes on her soft, beautiful face again he just wished it was in different circumstances.
Legolas shuddered as he knew he would have to face Lady Galderial as what he is now. Cassione walked nearby completely unmoved by the idea of returning home, her face was set, eyes in the distant. Merry and Pippin exchanged looks of delight as they clearly thought about food. Sam, Aragorn noticed seemed distant too, remembering their first visit eight years ago.
Sam hadn't told any of the Fellowship that he had looked into Galderial's mirror and followed Frodo when the rested in Lothlórien. He hoped that he would not need to look again into that mirror for he saw images of death and destruction which he saw back at the Shire when they returned. He stopped suddenly recalling the images he saw – there was one that he had not yet seen come true. Trees burning and these trees seemed very, very familiar…
He pushed aside the image remembering that not all the images he saw came true… but it had been correct about Boromir and the Shire…
Gandalf nudged him from behind to encourage him forward and placed a calming hand on his shoulder smiling supportively.
The descent seemed shorter then the climb upwards, many because the company felt they were sliding down the mountainside, rather then walking and the path was less winding then the climb. By nightfall the ground levelled and the vegetation changed from bare, frozen ground to lushes grass and wild flowers. Aragorn called for halt and they rested for the night and the company broke camp, settling themselves down quietly most were too tired to talk.
Cassione sat next to Legolas' bed roll where he lay, not wishing to talk to her.
"Is there anything I can do to help you?" she asked sweetly.
"Nah, there is nothing"
"But I see you suffer"
"Do not fear for me"
She smirked, "Fear comes in many forms, Legolas. I am one of them"
"I have no fears"
"You lie." She teased leaning closer she whispered. "And you know it - friend"
"Friend?" he snapped sitting up sharply. "Since when have I been your friend?"
"You know very well when"
He snorted slightly, but somehow felt uneasy.
"You remember clearly, don't lie. You can't deny what we saw –"
"Cassione, stop this. Go to sleep" but his voice began to lose strength as she forced him to remember when they were attacked in Mirkwood.
"How they crept upon us, how they -"
Legolas stood trying to avoid her words.
"Stop, Cassione, that's enough"
But Cassione dodged round and stopped in his path a pressed on.
"How they used you"
"No!" he turned to her, "stop this now!" he began to lose his composure.
"They pained you and –"
"Stop, Cassione – I"
"How they leeched –"
"Stop"
"Tormented, buckled and broke you"
"Cassione please!" his voice sounded near hysterical.
"Oh, I know your fears Legolas. I know them well, and now you should fear me" she stepped closer shadows moving in her eyes.
"What's going on here?" someone grunted, pushing in between the two blondes.
"Nothing that concerns you" Cassione hissed pushing Gilmi aside as she swept away.
Gilmi glanced up at Legolas, his face sweating and his breath laboured as if he'd just ran miles. His whole body seemed to terrible and his eyes were out of focus.
"Legolas, are you alright?" Gilmi asked, his brow frowned.
Legolas did not look at him, his eyes focused on Aragorn who came jogging towards them.
"What is it?" he asked.
"They'll here" Legolas squeaked.
"Who are?"
Suddenly Aragorn understood as he gazed into his friend's frightened eyes.
His hand flew to his sword and he drew it, "We can not stay here"
"Nor can we move"
"Then we will fight."
"They come" Legolas shuddered.
Something stirred about the camp and the sleeping company twitched as if aware of their presence.
"Awake, awake! " Shouted Aragorn. "Incoming!"