A/N: sorry if I've confused newcomers. This is the latest in a series that
starts with Reflections of the Soul, then Shattered Souls, then Windows to
the Soul, then this The Sum of a Soul.
Disclaimer: a refresher, they aren't mine; they never were and never will be. I promise that I'll put them back exactly the way I found them, probably, as soon as I'm done. No hallucinations were harmed in the writing of this chapter. Annoying pets are another matter entirely (you try typing with a Siamese draping herself over your arms!).
FOUR:
Sam came through the event horizon first, P-90 up and primed. She moved to the left immediately, making room for the rest of the team, eyes searching the empty landscape for any sign of danger. There weren't any, but there hadn't been any before either, she kept her eyes peeled. Everything was exactly as she remembered it from the first time she'd set foot on the planet.
Her father and Daniel came through next. Teal'c was still in the infirmary, where Frazier had had to order him to stay under threat of sedation. Her father had an activated zat in his hand and started to actively sweep the perimeter, looking for hostiles. That wasn't surprising. Daniel had a P-90, up and primed, and was scanning their surroundings as well. That was surprising. The anthropologist had gotten, and kept, his certification on it a while ago, at Col. O'Neill's insistence, their CO hadn't liked the idea of Daniel only having a handgun to protect himself with. The Colonel had had to physically drag the younger man out to the firing range, but Sam had to admit that her CO had done what he'd say he'd do. Daniel held the weapon like he knew how to use it and his eyes scanned the area as diligently as hers and her father's.
Daniel and her father moved to the right and Frazier stumbled through the Stargate, blinking her eyes rapidly. Nothing moved except for them, it was as if they were all alone on the planet. It was all an illusion, of course. They all knew better. Behind them the 'gate whooshed closed. In front of them lay an empty and well-traveled path.
The four of them traded looks that were full of much too much. They all wanted Col. O'Neill back, safe. They all wanted him to be the man he had been. They were all afraid of what would greet them at the end of this path.
Sam's mind flashed on her memory of the Colonel, nailed to that damned cross. His face bloodied and bruised. Chest covered with more cuts and bruises. His less had been broken. When the villagers had taken him down they'd revealed whiplashes. Long, dark, bleeding red gashes. His eyes had been open, but empty, and full of dark things like nightmares only half- seen.
She didn't have to look to her right to know that Daniel was seeing the same thing. Janet and her father hadn't seen Col. O'Neill like that. A small favor, but one she knew that she, and no doubt the rest of SG-1, appreciated.
* * *
*"You didn't have a problem with me before, Jack. I got the job done and you got to lie to the military shrinks. What changed?" His voice was tired as he said it, worn.
Jack just stared at him.
Finally he opened his mouth and spoke. Just one word.
"Daniel."*
"What about him?" Jay asked, staring at Jack over steepled fingers.
"You took advantage of him!" Jack answered. He was trying to be angry, but the self-loathing was too thick. His voice came out quiet and broken.
Jay shrugged. "He showed up at my door," he pointed out, not unreasonably. "He knew what he was coming in for."
Jack just shook his head, voice choked, his eyes wide so that the tears that he felt gathering wouldn't fall. 'He's my friend,' Jack thought. 'A member of my TEAM!' It was as good as shouting.
"So?" Jay asked. "He's not a member of mine."
Jack closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. 'He trusted me,' Jack thought, eyes still closed, 'and I betrayed that trust.'
Jay laughed. "You didn't betray him, or take advantage of him. IHe/I came to Ime/I. IHe/I kissed Ime/I. He shoved a needle into Imy/I back. If anyone was betrayed it was me, and I deserved it!"
"He's not a whore," Jack said, aloud, opening his eyes and glaring at the other man.
"I never said that he was."
"He was my friend."
"From the indications he still is."
Jay's eyes widened as he stared at Jack's face. "You're ashamed." It was a statement.
Jack swallowed, his throat constricting again, but he didn't close his eyes. He nodded.
"Why for god's sake?"
Jack didn't answer, but his thoughts were enough.
Jay guffawed. "You think the boy won't accept you as a friend, knowing that you've got a bit of a bugger in you?"
This time Jack did close his eyes.
"I don't think that you're giving the boy enough credit, Jack," Jay said.
"Maybe you should be talking to him."
When Jack opened his eyes, minutes or hours later, Jay was gone, and he was as alone as he had ever been.
* * *
The villagers ignored them as they walked into the village. They'd been expecting them ever since the stranger had returned to complete the Rite. Their lack of reaction did not go unnoticed.
"Looks like we're expected," Jacob commented under his breath. Silently everyone agreed with him. They moved through the village carefully, Sam on point and her father at the rear. Daniel paced the doctor between them, eyes as open as humanly possible.
A child ran across the street, dressed in brightly dyed furs, or maybe they weren't dyed. Two P-90's and a zat trained themselves on the little boy, or girl, they were too young to tell for certain. They did didn't even blink, but continued on their way.
Daniel let out a breath, slowly, easing his finger away from the trigger. They were coming up on the town square, where they'd originally found Jack, nailed to a cross. The memories were making Sam and Daniel jumpy. The other two members of the group were picking up on their tension.
'Four armed and dangerous individuals, jumpier than Jiminy Cricket in a whore house,' Daniel thought to himself. 'Not a good situation in the middle of a civilian population.'
They rounded a squat round hut and were suddenly in the square. The thankfully empty square. The cross still stood, exactly where it had been before, but there was no one on it. The wood was too dark to show the blood that had to have stained it. Rain and wind had washed away any evidence that had been on the bare dirt at its base.
A shudder passed through the remaining members of SG-1. Both stood and stared at the empty cross, their faces carefully blank, but their eyes betrayed them.
Dr. Frazier had read the report on Col. O'Neill's injuries. It had read like a horror story shopping list, but there hadn't been a mark (a new mark at least) on him when he returned. Just an addition to the emptiness in his eyes.
The report and his eyes had been enough to give her nightmares for over a week. She'd scared Cassie one night, waking herself up with a screaming sob. She could only imagine the nightmares that the members of SG-1 were having.
On second thought, no, she couldn't. And she knew that she didn't want to.
The group stopped on the edge of the empty square. Two people staring at the empty cross in front of a heavily adorned hut. The other two were trying to keep an eye on them while still keeping an eye on their surroundings.
The illusion of stillness and solitude was complete. The double suns beat down on them. The air didn't move, not even to whisper. All that they could hear was their own heartbeats and the other's hushed breathing.
The illusion was broken as the Sa-ren stepped out of his hut and around the cross. His tanned and wrinkled face was serious. His eyes were dark. He raised his hands above his head and clapped, once, then he brought his clasped hands down in front of his face and bowed.
"Sa-senai comont sa-kinei," he intoned.
"We welcome the strangers to our land," Daniel whispered in translation.
"Sa-senai sorontah ka-senai sa-senai."
"We ask the strangers to join us in awaiting the seeker."
"Seeker?" Sam asked, keeping her eyes on the little old man.
"Jack."
"Sa-kinei tah sa-senai."
"Please follow me."
The old man bowed once more, then turned away and walked out of the square. The four earthlings, plus one tok'ra, exchanged a glance, then they moved as one to follow him. After all, what else could they do?
* * *
"What do you want, Jon?" Jack asked tiredly, not even opening his eyes. He could see his double in his mind clearly enough. A cleaner, better dressed, version of himself. Just ignore the soulless eyes and rampant amorality.
"What do you think?" was the reply.
"You are a stubborn son of a bitch."
"Takes one to know one, huh?"
"Yeah, I suppose so."
Jack drew in a deep breath, and then let it out, slowly. "I don't suppose that there's any way to avoid this, huh?" he asked, still not opening his eyes.
"You want out of this thing alive?"
Jack didn't answer right away. He rolled the question around in his head. Over and over again. Did he really want to go on with his life? Did he want to face Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c again? Could he look General Hammond in the eye? Was there an icicle's chance in Hell that he could convince Mackenzie to put him back on active duty?
Finally, Colonel O'Neill opened his eyes. The room was empty, just him and his thoughts. "No," he said, softly.
"Tough luck, Jackie-boy," Jon whispered in his ear. Then he was falling, fast. Too damned fast.
The ground rushed up towards him in the dark and he forced his hand away from the chute pull. Not yet, not fucking yet. The ground loomed closer, and then it was time. He pulled the cord.
Nothing happened.
The ground got closer.
A/N: Oh, lookie what I went and did. Finally. I know, I know, I have been very, very, very, very bad. I am sorry. REALLY sorry. But, que serra, serra, and all that jazz. Hope you enjoyed it. PLEASE REVIEW! If I don't get responses then I don't get motivation and my muses take that as tacit permission to go on walkabout. If that happens that means that y'all have got to wait longer than a saint could. Oh, yeah, by the way, thanks for taking the time to actually read this stuff. Y'all are great, really.
Disclaimer: a refresher, they aren't mine; they never were and never will be. I promise that I'll put them back exactly the way I found them, probably, as soon as I'm done. No hallucinations were harmed in the writing of this chapter. Annoying pets are another matter entirely (you try typing with a Siamese draping herself over your arms!).
FOUR:
Sam came through the event horizon first, P-90 up and primed. She moved to the left immediately, making room for the rest of the team, eyes searching the empty landscape for any sign of danger. There weren't any, but there hadn't been any before either, she kept her eyes peeled. Everything was exactly as she remembered it from the first time she'd set foot on the planet.
Her father and Daniel came through next. Teal'c was still in the infirmary, where Frazier had had to order him to stay under threat of sedation. Her father had an activated zat in his hand and started to actively sweep the perimeter, looking for hostiles. That wasn't surprising. Daniel had a P-90, up and primed, and was scanning their surroundings as well. That was surprising. The anthropologist had gotten, and kept, his certification on it a while ago, at Col. O'Neill's insistence, their CO hadn't liked the idea of Daniel only having a handgun to protect himself with. The Colonel had had to physically drag the younger man out to the firing range, but Sam had to admit that her CO had done what he'd say he'd do. Daniel held the weapon like he knew how to use it and his eyes scanned the area as diligently as hers and her father's.
Daniel and her father moved to the right and Frazier stumbled through the Stargate, blinking her eyes rapidly. Nothing moved except for them, it was as if they were all alone on the planet. It was all an illusion, of course. They all knew better. Behind them the 'gate whooshed closed. In front of them lay an empty and well-traveled path.
The four of them traded looks that were full of much too much. They all wanted Col. O'Neill back, safe. They all wanted him to be the man he had been. They were all afraid of what would greet them at the end of this path.
Sam's mind flashed on her memory of the Colonel, nailed to that damned cross. His face bloodied and bruised. Chest covered with more cuts and bruises. His less had been broken. When the villagers had taken him down they'd revealed whiplashes. Long, dark, bleeding red gashes. His eyes had been open, but empty, and full of dark things like nightmares only half- seen.
She didn't have to look to her right to know that Daniel was seeing the same thing. Janet and her father hadn't seen Col. O'Neill like that. A small favor, but one she knew that she, and no doubt the rest of SG-1, appreciated.
* * *
*"You didn't have a problem with me before, Jack. I got the job done and you got to lie to the military shrinks. What changed?" His voice was tired as he said it, worn.
Jack just stared at him.
Finally he opened his mouth and spoke. Just one word.
"Daniel."*
"What about him?" Jay asked, staring at Jack over steepled fingers.
"You took advantage of him!" Jack answered. He was trying to be angry, but the self-loathing was too thick. His voice came out quiet and broken.
Jay shrugged. "He showed up at my door," he pointed out, not unreasonably. "He knew what he was coming in for."
Jack just shook his head, voice choked, his eyes wide so that the tears that he felt gathering wouldn't fall. 'He's my friend,' Jack thought. 'A member of my TEAM!' It was as good as shouting.
"So?" Jay asked. "He's not a member of mine."
Jack closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall. 'He trusted me,' Jack thought, eyes still closed, 'and I betrayed that trust.'
Jay laughed. "You didn't betray him, or take advantage of him. IHe/I came to Ime/I. IHe/I kissed Ime/I. He shoved a needle into Imy/I back. If anyone was betrayed it was me, and I deserved it!"
"He's not a whore," Jack said, aloud, opening his eyes and glaring at the other man.
"I never said that he was."
"He was my friend."
"From the indications he still is."
Jay's eyes widened as he stared at Jack's face. "You're ashamed." It was a statement.
Jack swallowed, his throat constricting again, but he didn't close his eyes. He nodded.
"Why for god's sake?"
Jack didn't answer, but his thoughts were enough.
Jay guffawed. "You think the boy won't accept you as a friend, knowing that you've got a bit of a bugger in you?"
This time Jack did close his eyes.
"I don't think that you're giving the boy enough credit, Jack," Jay said.
"Maybe you should be talking to him."
When Jack opened his eyes, minutes or hours later, Jay was gone, and he was as alone as he had ever been.
* * *
The villagers ignored them as they walked into the village. They'd been expecting them ever since the stranger had returned to complete the Rite. Their lack of reaction did not go unnoticed.
"Looks like we're expected," Jacob commented under his breath. Silently everyone agreed with him. They moved through the village carefully, Sam on point and her father at the rear. Daniel paced the doctor between them, eyes as open as humanly possible.
A child ran across the street, dressed in brightly dyed furs, or maybe they weren't dyed. Two P-90's and a zat trained themselves on the little boy, or girl, they were too young to tell for certain. They did didn't even blink, but continued on their way.
Daniel let out a breath, slowly, easing his finger away from the trigger. They were coming up on the town square, where they'd originally found Jack, nailed to a cross. The memories were making Sam and Daniel jumpy. The other two members of the group were picking up on their tension.
'Four armed and dangerous individuals, jumpier than Jiminy Cricket in a whore house,' Daniel thought to himself. 'Not a good situation in the middle of a civilian population.'
They rounded a squat round hut and were suddenly in the square. The thankfully empty square. The cross still stood, exactly where it had been before, but there was no one on it. The wood was too dark to show the blood that had to have stained it. Rain and wind had washed away any evidence that had been on the bare dirt at its base.
A shudder passed through the remaining members of SG-1. Both stood and stared at the empty cross, their faces carefully blank, but their eyes betrayed them.
Dr. Frazier had read the report on Col. O'Neill's injuries. It had read like a horror story shopping list, but there hadn't been a mark (a new mark at least) on him when he returned. Just an addition to the emptiness in his eyes.
The report and his eyes had been enough to give her nightmares for over a week. She'd scared Cassie one night, waking herself up with a screaming sob. She could only imagine the nightmares that the members of SG-1 were having.
On second thought, no, she couldn't. And she knew that she didn't want to.
The group stopped on the edge of the empty square. Two people staring at the empty cross in front of a heavily adorned hut. The other two were trying to keep an eye on them while still keeping an eye on their surroundings.
The illusion of stillness and solitude was complete. The double suns beat down on them. The air didn't move, not even to whisper. All that they could hear was their own heartbeats and the other's hushed breathing.
The illusion was broken as the Sa-ren stepped out of his hut and around the cross. His tanned and wrinkled face was serious. His eyes were dark. He raised his hands above his head and clapped, once, then he brought his clasped hands down in front of his face and bowed.
"Sa-senai comont sa-kinei," he intoned.
"We welcome the strangers to our land," Daniel whispered in translation.
"Sa-senai sorontah ka-senai sa-senai."
"We ask the strangers to join us in awaiting the seeker."
"Seeker?" Sam asked, keeping her eyes on the little old man.
"Jack."
"Sa-kinei tah sa-senai."
"Please follow me."
The old man bowed once more, then turned away and walked out of the square. The four earthlings, plus one tok'ra, exchanged a glance, then they moved as one to follow him. After all, what else could they do?
* * *
"What do you want, Jon?" Jack asked tiredly, not even opening his eyes. He could see his double in his mind clearly enough. A cleaner, better dressed, version of himself. Just ignore the soulless eyes and rampant amorality.
"What do you think?" was the reply.
"You are a stubborn son of a bitch."
"Takes one to know one, huh?"
"Yeah, I suppose so."
Jack drew in a deep breath, and then let it out, slowly. "I don't suppose that there's any way to avoid this, huh?" he asked, still not opening his eyes.
"You want out of this thing alive?"
Jack didn't answer right away. He rolled the question around in his head. Over and over again. Did he really want to go on with his life? Did he want to face Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c again? Could he look General Hammond in the eye? Was there an icicle's chance in Hell that he could convince Mackenzie to put him back on active duty?
Finally, Colonel O'Neill opened his eyes. The room was empty, just him and his thoughts. "No," he said, softly.
"Tough luck, Jackie-boy," Jon whispered in his ear. Then he was falling, fast. Too damned fast.
The ground rushed up towards him in the dark and he forced his hand away from the chute pull. Not yet, not fucking yet. The ground loomed closer, and then it was time. He pulled the cord.
Nothing happened.
The ground got closer.
A/N: Oh, lookie what I went and did. Finally. I know, I know, I have been very, very, very, very bad. I am sorry. REALLY sorry. But, que serra, serra, and all that jazz. Hope you enjoyed it. PLEASE REVIEW! If I don't get responses then I don't get motivation and my muses take that as tacit permission to go on walkabout. If that happens that means that y'all have got to wait longer than a saint could. Oh, yeah, by the way, thanks for taking the time to actually read this stuff. Y'all are great, really.