A Long Expected Orgy
The party certainly was unforgettable. Not only did Ganja's fireworks go off with a bang (*shudder* crap joke or what?) but Frieda's hobbit friends Very Merry and Pipe-in stole one of the fireworks and nearly killed everyone. They had to spend the entire night washing dishes under the watchful eye of Ganja.
While Frieda got drunk and danced around like a lunatic, Dildo described his encounter with a monster to some innocent children…
"So there I was, trapped in the alley behind the pornographic cinema, at the mercy of JK Rowling, who was blackmailing me to buy a copy of her book. She spent so much time screaming and screaming at me to buy Harry Potter, that she didn't notice the sun's first light creeping over the trees and WHOOSH!"
The children gasped.
"And turned her into stone!" Dildo said dramatically.
Meanwhile, Frieda slumped down in the seat next to his best friend, Samwise Ganjaleaf. "Go on, Sam." Frieda slurred. "Ask Rosie for a shag."
"I think I'll just have another ale."
"Great! Get me one while you're up."
Although the party began formally, Very Merry and Pipe-in thought it would be hilariously to stuff the birthday cake with pot and as Dildo stood on the platform to give his speech, his guests stopped trying to eat each other and listened to what he had to say.
"Today is my 111th birthday!" Dildo cried. Not much of a speech but the stoned guests didn't seem to care. They cheered frantically.
"But alas, one eleventy one years is not enough to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. Well, I like some of you but I hate most of you."
The crowd took this as a compliment, except for one who burst into tears and ran off.
Dildo shrugged and continued his speech. "I-uh, I have to go now. There are some things that need seeing to. I wish you all a very fond farewell…" He looked at Frieda who had passed out and was lying in a pool of beer on the floor. "Goodbye…" And then he disappeared.
Well, actually, he only thought he had disappeared. He was too stoned to realise that putting on some silly ring he'd found in a kinder egg was not going to make him invisible.
"Heeheehee…" He whispered, sneaking past the puzzled crowds who were watching him leave. "They can't see me, hahahahahaha!"