Farewell, Dear Dildo
Dildo giggled as he went back to his house and started packing.
"I suppose you think that was terribly clever…"
Dildo shrieked and turned around. Ganja was sitting on the sofa, glaring at him.
"Come on, Ganja. Did you see their faces?"
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to Rivenhell for a bit."
"A bit?"
"Well, forever but who's counting? You will keep an eye on Frieda, won't you?"
"Two eyes. And as often as I can spare them."
"Good. I'm leaving everything to him."
"What about the One Bong? Is that staying too?"
"Yes, yes, it's in an envelope on the mantlepiece."
Ganja nodded and went to the mantlepiece but stopped as he heard Dildo murmur, "No, wait, it's here in my pocket…" He laughed. "Isn't that odd now?"
"Dildo, quit with the freaky-ass shit and hand over the spliff, OK?"
"OK, OK, jeez take a chill pill, will you?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because there in your other pocket."
Dildo grinned and handed over the small tub of pills. "Well, it's late. The road is long. I guess I'll be on my way…" He opened the door and was just about to leave when Ganja stopped him.
"Dildo…" Ganja said slowly. "The spliff is still in your pocket."
'Bastard!' Dildo thought. 'He's seen through me like Frieda's underpants.'
Dildo pulled the spliff out of his pocket and stared at it wistfully for a while. His hands shook violently and then, suddenly, he threw the spliff to the floor and ran out of the door before he could change his mind.
Ganja followed Dildo outside and watched as Dildo told himself to be strong and let it go.
"I've thought of an ending for my book," He smiled, turning to face Ganja. "And he died slowly and painfully, in a pool of piss and blood."
"And I'm sure you will, old friend." Ganja smiled.
Dildo looked up at him. "Goodbye Ganja."
"Farewell, dear Dildo." They hugged one last time. "Farewell,"
Dildo grinned and set off down the street, singing as he went.
'I tell you what I want,
What I really really want,
So tell me what you want,
What you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want,
What I really really want…
I really really really want a cig-a-cigar!'
Ganja watched him disappear into the night, also reminding himself to be strong and let him go…