Sarucan(abis) The White
"Keep up, Samwise!" Ganja ordered, spinning around and watching Sam trail slowly behind them as they left the village.
They reached the edge of the forest of Tookland, and it was here Ganja left them on their own.
"Keep your eyes open, both of you." He told them. "The enemy has many spies in his service… Birds, beasts, taxi drivers… And never spark up the Bong. It wants to be found. As for me, I'm going to see my head of order. He is both powerful and wise. Trust me, Frieda, he'll know what to do. Make for the village of Bree, and stay off the road. I'll be waiting for you, at the inn of the Prancing Pony. Laterz!"
He climbed onto his horse and was on his way.
As night fell, Ganja reached the tower of Orthanc, in Isengard, where Sarucan(abis) the White lived.
"WASSUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sarucan ran down the stone steps to greet his friend.
"WASSUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ganja yelled, giving him a high-five. He told him all about the spliff.
"So the Bong was in the Shire the whole time…" Sarucan muttered as they went for a walk around the grounds.
"Under my very nose," Ganja smiled. "But hey, we still have time. Time to counteract Sauron if we act quickly…"
"Time? How much time do you think we have? Besides I'm not going to help you! You stole my prune juice!"
"You what?" Ganja asked as they made their way into the main chamber of Isengard.
"That's right," Sarucan snapped. "When I was on the toilet one day, you came in here and stole it!"
"How do you know this?" Ganja asked.
Sarucan cast a sidelong look at something in the next room, something covered with a sheet. It was one of the seeing crystals of Skegness.
"A palantir is a dangerous tool, Sarucan…" Ganja muttered.
"Why? Why we should we fear to use it?"
"They are not all accounted for, the lost seeing stones. We don't know who else may be watching."
"The hour is later than you think, Ganja. The Nine have already left Skegness."
"The Nine?"
"They will find the spiff. And kill the one who carries it…"
Ganja gasped. "Frieda!" He went to the automatic door on his left but Sarucan quickly hit a button on his throne and Ganja walked straight into the glass and fell to the floor in a heap. He struggled to his feet and tried the other door but the same thing happened to him.
"Sarucan, this is serious." He said. "Let me out of here."
"Not until I get my prune juice back!"
"NEVER!"
Sarucan angrilly took a swipe at Ganja with his staff and so… a Grandaddy Bitch Fight began…
"I gave you the chance of aiding me willignly," Sarucan mumbled as he spun Ganja around and around on the floor. "But you have elected the way of PAIN!" He raised his staff and Ganja flew upwards, towards the ceiling.
"Shit!" Ganja shouted. "This is gonna smart in the morning…"
BANG