The Spliff Goes South
And so, the Helloship of the Bong, set off towards Skegness, taking a little stop at a garage station because Aroporn needed to 'drain his lizard'.
Very Merry and Pipe-in piled 378 packets of Haribo onto the counter, Ganja stocked up on Superkings and Borrow-mir shoved a packet of Skips into his pocket and walked out without paying, looking very suspicious indeed.
Sam was rudely interrupted from looking at the top shelf of magazines by Frieda.
"Sam, I'm sorry…"
"Get away from me, you man-whore!"
"But Sam, it was a mistake!"
"Yeah right!"
"We only did it once!"
"Oh, sure you did…"
"I was thinking of you the whole time!"
"I thought you loved me, Frieda!"
"I do, but-"
"But what? But now you're leaving me to go off with HIM?!"
"No, you don't understand, we never-"
"NO! Just go, Frieda! Just go! Walk out the door! Don't turn around now! You know why?"
"Erm, because-?"
"COZ YOU'RE NOT WELCOME ANYMORE!"
"Fine!" Frieda snapped. "FUCK YOU THEN! FUCK YOU IN THE FUCKING NOSTRIL!" He stormed out of the garage and slammed the door.
Everybody looked at Sam, who sniffed and whispered, "I will survive…"
Frieda muttered angrily under his breath and saw Ganja and Gimpli waiting for the others by their horses. They were both sitting on Borrow-mir's shield, smoking the cigarettes Ganja had just bought. Borrow-mir was nearby, being strip searched by security, Aroporn was still in the toilet and Legohash was pulling mooneys at the cars that went by. Frieda sat down next to Ganja and Gimpli and nosed in on their conversation…
"If anyone should ask me, which I note they're not," Gimpli was saying. "I'd say that we were going the long way round. Ganja, we could pass through the mines of Gore-ia. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome."
"No, Gimpli." Ganja replied. "I would not pass through Gore-ia unless there was no other way."
"Bitch…" Gimpli muttered.
Araporn came out of the toilets. "Bloody hell, guys. I wouldn't go in there for a while, if you know what I m- Hey… what's that?" He pointed at something in the sky.
Everybody else looked up and saw something big and black heading towards them.
"Oh, it's just a cloud." Said Gimpli.
"No, it isn't! It's that goddamn spaceship from Independence Day!"
"It's the Blair Witch!"
"Crebain from Dunland!"
"What's a crebain!"
"Where's Dunland?"
"I'm telling you, it's just a fucking cloud!"
"Look," said Legohash. "Whatever it is, can we just fucking hide already?"
The others exchanged glances.
"Yeah, okay."
Everybody dived under cars or hid inside the garage as the black things that were actually seagulls from Skegness flew past the garage and vanished into the clouds.
But the seagulls had spotted Frieda, who was standing in the middle of the street, with his hands over his eyes in the hope that nobody would see him, and so the seagulls reported back to Sarucan, who chuckled.
"So, Ganja…" he muttered. "You try to lead them over Caradhras, do you? But if the mountain defeats you… Where then will you go?"