~An American Miko~
Chapter Two
Forgiveness & Love
Myst slowly pried her heavy eyes open and almost screamed from the pain racking her body. She shifted slightly and felt something twitch in her uninjured hand. She carefully turned her head and saw another hand holding hers. She followed the arm further and saw. 'Hotohori??? He looks horrible!'
The young man was once again on his knees by the bed. He was asleep and one could tell from the sunken look in his cheeks, pale color, and the bags and almost black rings around and under his closed eyes, that it was only from sheer exhaustion. He was still dressed in the same court robes as before only his hair was down and in a snarled mess. His clothes and hair looked as if they had not been attended to for days.
Of course Myst remembered what she had seen and what had happened, but she also remembered seeing the look on his face as if in slow motion as she began to fall. 'He must have stayed by my side this whole time, however long it's been. God I hurt!' Myst shifted again and winced.
Hotohori's head snapped up and he stared at her, a little dazed for a moment, out of bloodshot eyes.
The almost dazed look he gave her, made her feel guilty, and it showed in her eyes. She squeezed his hand lightly and croaked out of a dry throat that felt like sandpaper, "You've been crying."
She began to cough and pain flared all over her body. Between the hacking coughs, she sobbed and tears flowed from her eyes.
Hotohori gently supported her head and tipped a cup of cool clear water to her lips. She was able to take a few sips, then coughed a few more times before letting out a pained cry and collapsing back, sweaty and panting on the pillows. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her face was a mask of pain.
Hotohori took hold of her hand again and bit his lip as tears ran down his own cheeks from eyes that were closed in guilt and sorrow. 'This is my fault. If only I had told her before.' All the while unknown to himself he kept whispering something one thing over and over. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
After a few minuets her hand squeezed his again and he opened his teary eyes to look into hers. She had a small smile on her lips but her eyes were still clouded with pain.
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it while speaking in a shaky whisper. "Forgive me. I should have told you. I only wanted you to know me for me and not for my crown. I love you. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. Please, please forgive me."
She took her hand from his and drew her fingers up the right side of his face, from his chin to his temple, and the through his tangled hair. Her voice was clearer this time, "No. I was wrong; I jumped to soon and too far and missed the landing. I should have waited for you to explain. I had given you my trust, something I've given to very few ever, and I just saw you sitting up on that throne, the emperor, and all I knew was that it hurt. I don't know why it hurt so badly, but all I thought was that you, who I'd given my full trust to, didn't trust me enough to tell me something that is so much a part of your life."
Hotohori took hold of one of her hands again and rubbed it with his. "I should have told you. Yes, I am the Emperor Saihitei, but I am also called Hotohori. I will explain about that later, but now because of my selfishness, you have been injured further. I will not blame you if you choose to never return my love." He closed his golden eyes and more tears fell onto his hand.
She squeezed his hand again as a different fort of tear fell from her eyes. "Oh Hotohori, a wise man once told me, you do not love someone for what they are, or what they have, or what they can do for you. You love them because they sing a song only you can understand. A song only you can hear."
Her earlier words came back to both of them then. 'You're soul sings to me, like a star.'
Hotohori gave her a shaky smile. "So what does this mean?"
"It means that I know how you feel. When I was thirteen years old, my father died and left me a huge fortune. I grew up in a large mansion and my mother, who managed everything for me, never had much to do with me other than try to teach me that I was higher than everyone else. Still, I suppose I loved her. She died a year after my father did. I never even knew much of my father. I heard that I had half siblings somewhere, but I never met them and they didn't really want to meet me. I've been living alone since then and I'm only eighteen now. I never have any real friends, only people who hang around me. They all seem to know me, but I have no clue sometimes who they are. So I can see why you would hide your status the way you did. You're still young. Very young to be a ruler, so did something like that happen to you too?"
Hotohori nodded and slowly got to his feet to sit beside her on the bed. He winced as his knees ankles and hips popped and cracked.
Myst smiled slightly. "Been there a long time huh?"
The young emperor nodded. "Except for natural business, three days."
Myst's eyes widened a bit at this and she let out a quiet, but shocked cry. " Three days?!" Her voice softened. "No wonder you look like shit. You haven't even changed your clothes. Thank you for everything Hotohori. I'm so sorry that I worried you."
He shook his head and caressed her face and hair. "Do not worry about that. You are right in your observation. You and I have much in common. My father, the emperor before me, died when I was thirteen as well. I have two older brothers, one younger, and two younger sisters, all from different mothers. My father never married and so my mother fought to secure my place on the throne. She died when I was fourteen. I too am eighteen and I have virtually been alone ever since, a pretty bird in a gilded cage."
She nodded and smiled at him. "No wonder I love you. In almost every way that counts, you are the other half of me." She gasped and blushed as she realized that she had just said that out loud.
Hotohori smiled brightly and then leaned down giving her time to stop him. Their eyes fluttered shut as his soft lips gently touched hers in their first kiss. After a few seconds Hotohori began to move away but was stopped my Myst's hand on the back of his head.
Myst pressed his head to hers and kissed him harder. Hotohori moaned and almost shyly parted his lips to touch his tongue to her lips. She opened her mouth and welcomed him inside.
Hotohori realized something with awe. 'I've never kissed anyone before, let alone like this. It feels so right with her. So good.' He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, careful not to lift her from the bed too far or hurt her. Her firm breasts were pressed against his strong chest. The only thing keeping their skin from touching was his clothes since the sheet covering her had fallen below that.
She sighed into the kiss as their tongues caressed each other. Finally they broke the kiss breathlessly. Still pressed against each other, Hotohori buried his fingers in her silky hair and they stared into each other's eyes, their faces just inches apart.
They both felt love swell in their hearts and Hotohori buried his dark head against her shoulder and cried.
Myst wrapped her good arm around Hotohori's shoulders and cupped her palm on the back of his head. "Oh Hotohori-love, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Hotohori didn't lift his head but his voice shook as he answered. "So long, being so alone. My whole life was loneliness. Now that I've found you my heart is so full that it hurts. It feels like I'm dying of happiness that you love me too."
A sob cut off anything else he would have said and Myst held him tighter and let him sob, crying silently herself with mutual feelings, until they both finally fell asleep with the emperors head still pillowed on her shoulder and his exhausted body tucked into her side, finally willing to let him sleep.
**********
A.N.: Well, there it is. Chapter two. Lots of tears ne?! But hey, that's what makes it good. I'm trying to steer it away from being the cheesy romance novel type, not that I mind since I'm such a sap, but you know how some people can be. plus I'm really in love right now and that's the forethought on my mind. love. it's just too damn crazy. Okay, well there ya go. More to come so, stay tuned ne?! FEEDBACK!!!!! LOVE FEEDBACK!!!!! We authors live off the stuff! FEED ME!!!!! HUNGRY!!!!! LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!
~Celesta Hellewise Harman
Myst slowly pried her heavy eyes open and almost screamed from the pain racking her body. She shifted slightly and felt something twitch in her uninjured hand. She carefully turned her head and saw another hand holding hers. She followed the arm further and saw. 'Hotohori??? He looks horrible!'
The young man was once again on his knees by the bed. He was asleep and one could tell from the sunken look in his cheeks, pale color, and the bags and almost black rings around and under his closed eyes, that it was only from sheer exhaustion. He was still dressed in the same court robes as before only his hair was down and in a snarled mess. His clothes and hair looked as if they had not been attended to for days.
Of course Myst remembered what she had seen and what had happened, but she also remembered seeing the look on his face as if in slow motion as she began to fall. 'He must have stayed by my side this whole time, however long it's been. God I hurt!' Myst shifted again and winced.
Hotohori's head snapped up and he stared at her, a little dazed for a moment, out of bloodshot eyes.
The almost dazed look he gave her, made her feel guilty, and it showed in her eyes. She squeezed his hand lightly and croaked out of a dry throat that felt like sandpaper, "You've been crying."
She began to cough and pain flared all over her body. Between the hacking coughs, she sobbed and tears flowed from her eyes.
Hotohori gently supported her head and tipped a cup of cool clear water to her lips. She was able to take a few sips, then coughed a few more times before letting out a pained cry and collapsing back, sweaty and panting on the pillows. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her face was a mask of pain.
Hotohori took hold of her hand again and bit his lip as tears ran down his own cheeks from eyes that were closed in guilt and sorrow. 'This is my fault. If only I had told her before.' All the while unknown to himself he kept whispering something one thing over and over. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
After a few minuets her hand squeezed his again and he opened his teary eyes to look into hers. She had a small smile on her lips but her eyes were still clouded with pain.
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it while speaking in a shaky whisper. "Forgive me. I should have told you. I only wanted you to know me for me and not for my crown. I love you. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. Please, please forgive me."
She took her hand from his and drew her fingers up the right side of his face, from his chin to his temple, and the through his tangled hair. Her voice was clearer this time, "No. I was wrong; I jumped to soon and too far and missed the landing. I should have waited for you to explain. I had given you my trust, something I've given to very few ever, and I just saw you sitting up on that throne, the emperor, and all I knew was that it hurt. I don't know why it hurt so badly, but all I thought was that you, who I'd given my full trust to, didn't trust me enough to tell me something that is so much a part of your life."
Hotohori took hold of one of her hands again and rubbed it with his. "I should have told you. Yes, I am the Emperor Saihitei, but I am also called Hotohori. I will explain about that later, but now because of my selfishness, you have been injured further. I will not blame you if you choose to never return my love." He closed his golden eyes and more tears fell onto his hand.
She squeezed his hand again as a different fort of tear fell from her eyes. "Oh Hotohori, a wise man once told me, you do not love someone for what they are, or what they have, or what they can do for you. You love them because they sing a song only you can understand. A song only you can hear."
Her earlier words came back to both of them then. 'You're soul sings to me, like a star.'
Hotohori gave her a shaky smile. "So what does this mean?"
"It means that I know how you feel. When I was thirteen years old, my father died and left me a huge fortune. I grew up in a large mansion and my mother, who managed everything for me, never had much to do with me other than try to teach me that I was higher than everyone else. Still, I suppose I loved her. She died a year after my father did. I never even knew much of my father. I heard that I had half siblings somewhere, but I never met them and they didn't really want to meet me. I've been living alone since then and I'm only eighteen now. I never have any real friends, only people who hang around me. They all seem to know me, but I have no clue sometimes who they are. So I can see why you would hide your status the way you did. You're still young. Very young to be a ruler, so did something like that happen to you too?"
Hotohori nodded and slowly got to his feet to sit beside her on the bed. He winced as his knees ankles and hips popped and cracked.
Myst smiled slightly. "Been there a long time huh?"
The young emperor nodded. "Except for natural business, three days."
Myst's eyes widened a bit at this and she let out a quiet, but shocked cry. " Three days?!" Her voice softened. "No wonder you look like shit. You haven't even changed your clothes. Thank you for everything Hotohori. I'm so sorry that I worried you."
He shook his head and caressed her face and hair. "Do not worry about that. You are right in your observation. You and I have much in common. My father, the emperor before me, died when I was thirteen as well. I have two older brothers, one younger, and two younger sisters, all from different mothers. My father never married and so my mother fought to secure my place on the throne. She died when I was fourteen. I too am eighteen and I have virtually been alone ever since, a pretty bird in a gilded cage."
She nodded and smiled at him. "No wonder I love you. In almost every way that counts, you are the other half of me." She gasped and blushed as she realized that she had just said that out loud.
Hotohori smiled brightly and then leaned down giving her time to stop him. Their eyes fluttered shut as his soft lips gently touched hers in their first kiss. After a few seconds Hotohori began to move away but was stopped my Myst's hand on the back of his head.
Myst pressed his head to hers and kissed him harder. Hotohori moaned and almost shyly parted his lips to touch his tongue to her lips. She opened her mouth and welcomed him inside.
Hotohori realized something with awe. 'I've never kissed anyone before, let alone like this. It feels so right with her. So good.' He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, careful not to lift her from the bed too far or hurt her. Her firm breasts were pressed against his strong chest. The only thing keeping their skin from touching was his clothes since the sheet covering her had fallen below that.
She sighed into the kiss as their tongues caressed each other. Finally they broke the kiss breathlessly. Still pressed against each other, Hotohori buried his fingers in her silky hair and they stared into each other's eyes, their faces just inches apart.
They both felt love swell in their hearts and Hotohori buried his dark head against her shoulder and cried.
Myst wrapped her good arm around Hotohori's shoulders and cupped her palm on the back of his head. "Oh Hotohori-love, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Hotohori didn't lift his head but his voice shook as he answered. "So long, being so alone. My whole life was loneliness. Now that I've found you my heart is so full that it hurts. It feels like I'm dying of happiness that you love me too."
A sob cut off anything else he would have said and Myst held him tighter and let him sob, crying silently herself with mutual feelings, until they both finally fell asleep with the emperors head still pillowed on her shoulder and his exhausted body tucked into her side, finally willing to let him sleep.
**********
A.N.: Well, there it is. Chapter two. Lots of tears ne?! But hey, that's what makes it good. I'm trying to steer it away from being the cheesy romance novel type, not that I mind since I'm such a sap, but you know how some people can be. plus I'm really in love right now and that's the forethought on my mind. love. it's just too damn crazy. Okay, well there ya go. More to come so, stay tuned ne?! FEEDBACK!!!!! LOVE FEEDBACK!!!!! We authors live off the stuff! FEED ME!!!!! HUNGRY!!!!! LOVE ME!!!!!!!!!!
~Celesta Hellewise Harman