The Great River
"Pipe-in's turn."
"Oh OK, erm… I spy with my little eye, er… something beginning with………….. T."
Short silence.
"Trees!"
Pipe-in gasped. "Very Merry wins again!"
"OK, OK, my turn, I spy with my little eye, something beginning with W."
Short slence.
"Water!"
"YES!!!!!"
Aroporn leaned forward and patted Frieda on the shoulder. "Frieda, look…"
Frieda looked up and saw two giant statues of penises on either side of the river.
"The Argonath." Aroporn explained. "Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old… my kin."
Frieda wondered why Aroporn had descended from two giantpenises, but he smiled and nodded all the same, as though he was actually interested, which he wasn't really, all he really cared about was trying to stop Sam from stroking his kneecap with the oar everytime he rowed. He knew he was doing it on purpose…
About an hour later, they settled on land and set up camp.
"We'll rest here and cross the lake at nightfall, hide the boats and continue on foot."
"Oh yes?" Said Gimpli. "And just a small matter about crossing Emin M- Emuin… Emul Muin? Oh fuck it, that big nasty place with the jagged rocks. Oh, and after that it gets even better! A stinking, festering marshland as far as the eye can see…"
"Sounds like Pipe-in's toilet…" Very Merry muttered.
"I heard that!"
"That is our road," Aroporn said to Gimpli. "I suggest you shut the fuck up, Master Dwarf." He walked off, leaving Gimpli very annoyed.
"Pay no heed to that, Master Hobbit." He said to Very Merry, who didn't really care. He looked around. "Where's Frieda?"
Everybody, especially Sam, shat themselves silly over Frieda's disappearance. It was only when Aroporn realised that Borrow-mir was missing too that he joined in with the panicking…