Disclaimer: In the name of Christmas can they please belong to me? Sigh, alright, no, not mine.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Santa Clause, Rudolph, oh, oopsy, no, nothing for the show.
Category: Humor, Friendship
Author: Traci traci_ann@yahoo.com
Author Notes: Alright, I wasn't going to do a Christmas SVU story… I really wasn't but… the other day I heard a new song… it is an actual song called "Dammit, I'm Vixen" by some country artist that I've never heard of and I have to tell you it was the funniest thing I've heard in ages. Anyway, I then heard Rudolph later and, well, you'll see…. So yes, this is based on personal experience (the song anyway).
Tracy, you're the best… thanks once again!!!!
In the Spirit'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Had a very shiny nose…'
"Argh! Can someone change the station?"
"Reindeer issues, Stabler?"
Detective Elliot Stabler glared over at John Munch, the seemingly endless source of sarcasm. "No." He sighed. "Yes. Elizabeth heard a new Christmas song this year and made me listen to it and it has forever ruined Rudolph for me now."
His partner stared at him in disbelief. "What Christmas song could possibly ruin Rudolph?" Olivia Benson asked.
"Dammit, I'm Vixen," he stated.
She tried not to laugh.
"I'll make you listen to it if you aren't nice," he warned.
"I'm sorry, El, but… Come on, Dammit, I'm Vixen?"
Munch sat back in his chair. "See, that's why my people don't celebrate Christmas. Too many weird songs about deer and now there's a deer competition? Did it never worry anyone that there was not a problem with letting a fat old man in the house and…"
"You're just jealous," Munch's partner, Fin jumped in.
"Yes, I want a strange, fat man dressed in red who plays with elves and deer in my house," he commented. "Would make me feel safe and secure."
Elliot and Olivia looked at each other and laughed.
Once she caught her breath, Olivia walked over to get another cup of coffee. "You do realize we are four adults sitting around discussing the less than finer points of Christmas folklore, right?" She ducked out of the way of a paper ball heading her way from one Munch.
"The point is I can't listen to Rudolph anymore!" Elliot reminded them all as he took the mug of coffee from Olivia, who sat on the edge of his desk.
"Why was his nose the only one that was red by the way? Did no one ever find that suspicious?" Munch continued.
Benson shook her head and returned to her own desk.
"I hate to break up this party," Captain Cragen began, stepping out of his office. "But I need all four of you for this. A call just came in about a suspicious character walking around the streets. Parents think he may be a pedophile. He's dressed as… Santa."
"Ho. Ho. Ho." Munch commented as they all got up.
"Why us?" Benson asked. "We deal with those already assaulted. If it's just suspicion…"
"Plaza asked for you guys. I don't know why."
Fin grabbed his coat from the back of his chair. "Probably didn't want to interrupt their big, fancy Christmas party up there."
"Where is it, Cap?" Elliot asked.
Cragen stared at them, biting his lower lip for a moment. "You're not going to believe it." He hesitated then, "Thirty-fourth Street."
"You have got to be kidding!" Olivia sighed.
He shook his head. "Trust me, I wish it was. I was going to let you guys go home early but…"
"With any luck it will be in front of Macy's," Munch deadpanned as the door closed behind them.
*******************
The SVU detectives pulled up to the curb in two cars. It wasn't too difficult to find the suspicious man, as there was a large crowd around him.
"What is wrong with this world? Why can't you just believe? Children are the most precious…"
"Well, this should be an easy insanity case," commented Munch as they pushed their way through the crowd.
Olivia was the first to reach the man and she stopped. Before her stood, dressed in typical Santa clothing, a kindly old man with the bluest eyes she had ever seen, bluer than even those of her partner. "Sir, please," she began, holding up her badge. "Just come with us." His eyes met hers and she stopped.
"Sir, you have to come with us," Stabler continued, reaching for his handcuffs.
"You never got that puppy you wanted," 'Santa' told her.
Elliot looked at his partner. "Liv?"
"Huh? Sir, you are causing a scene."
Stabler's gaze lingered on his partner a little longer before returning to the job they were there to do.
Munch was pulling the man towards their car when he said, "John, you wanted to believe but never could."
"Yeah, you're right. My life wasn't screwed up enough. I had a need to believe in magical deer and jolly old men who lived in ice castles." He opened the back door and helped the elderly man in. "I believe in many things but ironically enough a child-loving pervert isn't one of them." He slammed the door.
"Do you know him?" Fin asked.
"No, why?"
The crowd had started to disperse and Benson and Stabler joined their colleagues.
"He called you John," Benson told him.
"Did he? Huh, strange. John isn't a common name." With that he took the keys and headed to the drivers side. "Anyone going to join me or are you going to stay and wait for Toto?"
The other three looked at each other.
'Toto?' Stabler mouthed.
Fin and Benson shrugged and they went to their respective cars.
*******************
"But I am telling you I am Santa Clause."
The new Assistant District Attorney stood in the viewing room with Cragen. "Merry Christmas to us," she commented.
Cragen smiled at Casey. "You've been hanging around John too much."
She laughed. "Do you offer a program for that?"
He shook his head. "You're on your own. So what do you think?" He nodded in the direction of the interrogation room where Benson and Stabler were presently talking to the man.
"I think he's insane but that's not my job to prove. Do we know who he is?"
"No. Nothing."
"I am only here to help the world," Santa exclaimed.
"What am I supposed to prosecute him for anyway?" Novak suddenly asked.
"Don't know yet. All the people who called were concerned citizens. We don't actually have any witnesses."
"Don, you know you can't keep him on that. If we arrested people based on the suspicion of neighbors and strangers…"
"I know."
"Political pressure to make New York look good for Christmas?" she asked quietly.
He looked at the brunette. "That's my guess."
***********************
Stabler locked his fingers behind his head and stretched. "Okay, let's start again. Who are you?"
"Kris Kringle."
Olivia, seeing the red rising in her partner's face, said, "Why don't you go get us some coffee."
Elliot met her eyes and hesitantly nodded.
Once he left, she turned her attention back to Santa. "Do you have family in the area? Someone we could call? Medications you need to take?" she asked in her caring voice.
When he smiled at her, his eyes twinkled. "Olivia, you have a kind heart, but I am who I say I am."
Secretly she was hoping her partner would slip something stronger than coffee in her mug. "It's Christmas Eve. I'm sure there are people who would like to have you home in time for Christmas."
"There are many people. All around the world."
***********************
"I say she lasts five more minutes before lunging at him," Munch said.
"Taking bets on my partner, John? Not cool." Stabler glanced into the room. "Not cool unless I'm included."
Cragen called Benson out of the room.
Gratefully, she took the coffee from Stabler. "Please, tell me you put something else in here."
He grinned at her. "Would that be ethical in a police station?"
"Um, Olivia, could you go back in for a few more minutes please?"
She looked at Munch. "Why?"
He had no answer and looked away.
"He was betting on how much long you could last in there," Elliot smirked.
"And his payment for losing is, it's your turn," Cragen told him.
Fin and Munch both groaned before entering the room with the suspect, though no one knew what he was a suspect of yet.
***********************
"So, Kris… May I call you Kris?" Munch asked, pacing the floor.
"You may call me anything you like," the man responded.
Seeing the look in his partner's eyes at that invitation, Fin quickly jumped in. "Mr. Kringle, we all would like to get home tonight. Detective Stabler has…"
"Four children and a wife," he finished.
Everyone looked at Stabler. "I don't know how he knows that," he said, annoyance quickly being replaced by fear and anger.
"And you, Fin, have a lovely daughter who is coming home tonight with her fiancée that you are meeting for the first time."
The man turned to face Munch. "You, John, in spite of your comments are going to be helping out at a shelter this evening."
His eyes then looked through the glass to Olivia but he said nothing.
She shivered even though she knew he could not see her.
Stabler glanced over at her. "You alright?"
"Yeah."
"You are all in a hurry to get out of here. To get home to family and everything that none of you have taken a moment to realize you are all family to each other. Some of you," he paused. "Some of you have nowhere to be this year."
Olivia knew. Without a word, she ran out of the viewing room. Novak and Cragen remained behind when Stabler took off after her.
*********************
Stabler didn't have to look for long before finding his partner. Propping the door open, he shuffled carefully across the snow-covered roof to her. "Are you okay?"
She nodded but refused to look at him.
"Liv…" He touched her arm and suddenly she was in his arms crying. Elliot froze for a moment, never having seen his partner fall apart like that. The snow fell softly around them as he held her.
Her tears subsided and she stepped away. "I… I'm sorry, El. I…"
"Liv, why… what…" He sighed. "I'm sorry. I never even thought that you might not have anywhere to go for Christmas."
She laughed through her tears. "It's okay, El. Really. I guess it was just having a complete stranger point it out to everyone…" Taking off a glove, she wiped her tears away. "It's stupid."
He lifted her chin so she would look at him. "You know you are always welcome over to our house anytime, even holidays. I never said anything because I figured you understood it was an open invitation."
"Come on, Elliot, you know I'm not going to intrude on your family."
He stared at her and smirked. "I am offering free food, entertainment and you don't even have to do a thing."
Olivia gave it serious consideration but then shook her head. "I don't think Kathy would appreciate you bringing your partner, not to mention your female partner, over for family events."
His blue eyes grew wide. "You really believe that? She doesn't like the job I do but she is grateful that I have you to talk to since I can't always talk to her. She likes you, Olivia."
"No, I'm okay. Really. It's actually nice to be able to spend the day in peace and quiet."
Stabler was not going to argue with her any longer. They were both shivering and he had to get home to help his wife wrap presents. "My door is always open to you, you know that," he re-iterated as they walked back to the stairs.
"I know."
************************
When they returned downstairs, everyone else was gathered around waiting.
Benson and Stabler looked around. "Where is he?"
Munch shrugged. "The cuckoo flew the nest."
Cragen rolled his eyes. "A missing person's report was filed about half an hour ago that matched our guy. His daughter was going frantic. He has Alzheimer's. They just left."
"But how did he know the things he knew?" Olivia asked.
Cragen shrugged. "Don't know. But he is harmless." He looked at Stabler. "You don't have to worry."
The partners nodded and sat at their desks.
Fin, still standing, said, "Captain, do you mind if I…"
He smiled. "No. Go. Have a nice Christmas."
"Thanks." He turned to Munch. "Need a ride? I'm heading to the airport anyway so I go past your place."
John stretched. "Yeah, beats walking." He got up and pulled Olivia aside. "You know my number."
She smiled at him. "Thank you, John. I'm really fine."
He looked at her, not believing her but letting it be. When he and Fin reached the door, he turned back to his friends. "May the flying reindeer not leave you presents from above."
"Goodbye, John!" Elliot said with a laugh.
"Cap, I want a new partner for Christmas. One less insane," Fin shouted back as they left.
Cragen shook his head then turned back to the remaining two. "Casey had a party to get to. If you two want to head out…"
Benson and Stabler looked at each other.
"I'm not arguing," she said.
"Nor I," Stabler agreed. He stood at his desk and looked back and forth between his partner and their captain. "Cap'n, what are you doing for Christmas?"
Benson looked up and realized that no one had an idea what Cragen did. His wife had died many years earlier.
"A quiet day at home. The kids can't make it in so I'm seeing them after the New Year."
The partners once again shared a look.
"Would you like to come over for Christmas dinner?" Stabler asked.
Cragen turned back to him. "You've got more than enough…"
"If you go I think I can then convince Olivia she wouldn't be intruding."
Cragen looked to Olivia who was staring at Elliot. "Count me in. But only if you agree to go, Olivia."
"Sneakiness is not one of your better qualities, Stabler," she laughed. "Alright, as long as Kathy has no problem, I will be there too."
Elliot's grin turned just plain smug. "Good. Then I will see you *both*…" He glanced at Olivia. "At two pm."
"See you then," Cragen agreed. "Now, get out of here you two."
"Merry Christmas, Sir," Olivia called back as she grabbed for her scarf that Elliot was trying to steal.
"Merry Christmas, you two." He laughed when she managed to push her partner away and retrieve not only her scarf but also his gloves. Elliot was the only person who ever seemed to be able to bring Olivia back from the brinks of depression. While Elliot was off limits maybe, just maybe there was another one like him out there. Cragen sent one last Christmas wish up.
The End