A/N: Right, I was going to the library, and I was planning to publish all this. But would you believe it, I forgot to bring my disk!! Lol, anyways, here's Hermione's thoughts. I had a really hard time thinking of her chapter title, and I would have used crying, but Harry already did that. Whatever, anyways, here it is!!
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Hermione Granger ~ Evaporation and Mist "Worried about Harry"……… "Pressure's getting to him"……… "Cheer him up"………As she read these words from Ron's letter, Hermione began to feel more worried about Harry than she was before. She knew that Sirius' death would affect him more than anything else, and that no matter hard hard it hurt the rest of them, he would take it the hardest.
It wasn't like she didn't try to help him. From what she knew, when something tragic happens, you don't want to keep it bottled up inside of you. You should let it out, because it makes you feel better, believe it or not. But she didn't get the chance to talk to Harry about Sirius. Every time she tried, Ron would stop her. So Harry was pretty much left to deal with these feelings alone. Without any consolation from anyone. Hermione wished that Harry would let out his feelings to her and Ron. She knew that it would make him feel a lot better. But she also knew that it was hard for Harry to talk about Sirius passing, because he didn't want to accept it. He sure didn't want Sirius dead, as neither did anyone else (at least in the Order). She sure wished that she could help him.
It was partially her fault.
She knew that Harry didn't think this, and probably neither did anyone else.
But she knew. She knew the painful truth deep down inside.
It was Hermione who had lead Harry and Umbridge into the forest. It was her who had foolishly led them to the centaurs, and almost got Harry and herself killed. If she had led them to Grawp, then they would have escaped a lot quicker, and they would have met Snape, who would have told them that it was all a trick, a scheme so that Harry would get hurt.
But no matter what, Hermione couldn't change anything. She didn't have a Time-Turner anymore, she had given it back to Professor McGonagall. Besides, even if she did, she couldn't break the law and go back in time, although sometimes, it hurt so bad that she would've, if she had it with her.
Hermione also felt a twinge of guilt every time she thought about being in the Department of Mysteries. She knew that she could never have prevented this, but she couldn't help thinking about this: It was her who had gone and fainted, and had to slow Harry and Neville down. Why hadn't she shouted the Shield Charm to try and prevent it? But no, she had sat there and watch it happen. Watch Dolohov perform that wand movement, when she, herself, had plenty of time to perform the Shield Charm.
Most of her days at home had been dreary. Her parents worried and fussed over her not eating enough, and always seeming depressed. But Hermione couldn't tell them what was really bothering her. If she did, then it might mean bad feelings between her parents and Harry, like what happened to Seamus. They might force her to stop being friends with Harry, and maybe even Ron. She didn't want that. So, she ended telling them that a close friend had died, and that she was still very sad about it. Which wasn't the whole story, but wasn't exactly a lie.
Hermione knew that she had to help Harry.
She thought, who would understand Harry like a parent?
Her first answer would have, of course, been Sirius, but unfortunately, he wasn't there anymore.
Then the answer came to her.
Professor Lupin! Of course! One of Sirius' best friends (and sadly, the only one remaining) and a very kind and gentle man. He would understand Harry. After all, he seemed very helpful in their third year. He also, had suffered a loss, so he would be very comforting.
Hermione answered Ron's letter, saying that she would go to the Burrow on the 25th, and proceeded to write to Professor Lupin:
Professor Lupin,
Hello, this is Hermione Granger. I just wanted to say that I know it was, and still is, very hard on you with Sirius (Here, she paused to see how she could fit the words in) passing away, but I, or rather, Ron and I, need your help. You see, we are all grieving over Sirius, but I think that Harry's been having a lot of trouble coping with this tragedy. From what I heard from Ron, Harry's been very depressed lately, even more than us others have. I know that we, as friends, should try and comfort Harry as much as we can, but I think that he would heal easier with you. You see, you and Harry are in the same place. You both are, well, suffering the same amounts, and I think that you both would understand each other better than Ron and I would with Harry. I hope that you and Harry can work out your loss together, and Ron and I will be standing at the edge, helping you when it is needed. Thank you.
Hermione
Hermione knew that she was close to tears, as she gave both letters to Pig.
"Send a letter out for me, will you?" she asked Pig in a choked whisper.
Pig hooted enthusiastically, and flew out the open window.
Hermione sat down in her chair.
It was her fault, she knew it.
Sirius was gone, but gone like the rain. Parts of it will evaporate, but a mist will linger.
Sirius may be gone, but his memory will stay forever.
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Lol, I hope you liked that. Please review!