Television: The True Depths of Life Chapter 4: The Art of Fame, an everwood fanfic

Chapter 3: The Art Of Fame

The hospital was deserted. It was a perfect "God in the machine" moment in so many ways. A dark figure knocked on one of the great, glass doors of the entrance, and sighed greatly when they noticed the doors were unlocked. They crept stealthily, careful that their black ski mask was in place, and continued on their way. They crawled down the halls, greatly resembling a mouse, searching for the cheese at the end of the maze. Once they found their destination, they stood swiftly, glanced around, and walked in the private room, closing the door behind them.

Staring down at the sleeping boy, the black clad sneak let one tear fall on the man's face, glancing at the oxygen tube in his nose, the IV in his arm, his sleeping face. They slowly bent down to kiss his closed eyes, stroked his jaw line, and quickly pulled the life support cord.

Colin Hart jolted slightly, took a few desperate breaths, and at last sighed a short puff of air out. The stranger stood for a few seconds longer, and slinked out of the hospital as quickly as they had come in. Stopping only once to look over their shoulder as they ran home, they flung off the mask as their blonde hair blew out in the wind behind them . . .

- - - - - - - -

Bright opened his eyes. Looking around, at first he wasn't sure where he was. He blinked a few times, stretched, and sat up slowly, holding his back for support. He glanced at his surroundings once more and finally came to the conclusion that he had fallen asleep on his living room floor. His back ached from dozing on the hard surface, and his neck cracked when he swiveled it around. As he turned to look at the sofa next to him, something was thrust at his face and the two objects collided. Bright rubbed his cheek where he had been slapped and squinted his eyes menacingly at the slap-ee. Ephram yawned and sat up on the couch.

"Oh, that was you?" he asked innocently as his lips curled up in a small smile. "I didn't mean to slap you. I was . . . asleep . . ." he yawned once more and swung his feet over the side of the couch so he was now sitting up straight. Bright continued to glare at him. Ephram dodged the boy's glance as his eyes skimmed the room. "Where's Amy?" he asked quickly.

"In here!" was shouted in a singsong voice, coming from the kitchen. Bright stood quickly, starting to walk towards the voice and was reluctantly followed by Ephram. As the two boys entered, they were taken aback in shock, both gasping in unison at the sight before them. Their eyes moved back and fourth from the dining room table to the blonde girl in the midst of it all, back and forth, back and forth, both their heads ticking in harmony. Amy smiled blindingly, teeth whiter than ever. "So? What do you think?"

"It's . . . I'm torn . . . I can't say whether it's nice or just plain weird," Ephram replied weakly. Amy's frighteningly perky attitude sunk in desperation.

"Weird??" Bright exclaimed as if that was the most preposterous thing he had ever heard. "It's amazing!" he shouted as he sat at the table. "Chow time!"

Ephram just stared at the long wooden table, or what you could see left of the wood, that is. There was food just covering the table. Bowls, crock-pots, serving plates overflowing with eggs, bacon, pancakes, French toast, ham, cereal, every single breakfast dish you could imagine, and even a few scattered lunch pieces. Here sat enough food to feed a whole city where there were only three to dine on it. It almost seemed that it had been made just for the sake of being made. Amy grinned longingly once more at Ephram, seeking approval. Bright glanced back and forth at both of them as he shoveled as much food as he could into his mouth. "What?" he asked as neither said a thing, Ephram staring at the table, Amy staring at Ephram, Bright staring at both as if they were nuts. "Eat!" he egged both on, receiving no reply. He shrugged and went back to his meal. The purple haired boy finally looked at the girl.

"What are you wearing?" he asked. Amy shrugged.

"Yeah, Amy. The pink apron and red dress totally clash. Plus, you have mixed up two completely different eras with the 1950's dress and 70's chic headband. And why are you wearing my, err, mom's pearls?" Bright blathered after finally swallowing his food. The other two started at him, sharing miniscule knowing glances with each other. "What?" he asked naively after a few moments of silence. Amy sat down and began placing sausages on her plate.

"You're so gay," she muttered as she wiped off her hands. Ephram chuckled silently while staring at his empty plate.

"Say again?" Bright asked.

"I said 'you're so great'," Amy replied, stressing the last word while tossing her perfect straight hair over her perfect shoulder. Bright glanced at her suspiciously and turned away. "I'm not gay," he muttered. Ephram laughed again. Amy rolled her eyes.

Ephram tried to change the subject. "You're teeth seem extra . . . perky today, Amy,"

"Thank you. I used my secret recipe," she replied.

"Oh! What is it? I love baking!" Ephram and Amy both started at Bright again.

Amy sighed. "Bright, just shut up,"

"Will do," he answered as he began to lick his plate. "Gladly," Amy turned to Ephram once more.

"Well, first I take that Colgate whitening stuff and pour five bottles of it into a vat. Next, I pour in a couple bottles of bleach, Tide with bleach, Snuggle with bleach, bleach floor cleaner," she went on and on for a while as Ephram yawned lazily, uninterested. ". . . tile cleaner, turpentine, and a dash of love. Then you add in some of that clear nail polish. But the ultra secret ingredient is," she leaned in a whispered, "tin foil," and giggled giddily as Ephram cocked an eyebrow and Bright scoured the house for some tin foil. "You paint it on your teeth, and presto! But make sure to call up the poison control center, because I've had to get my stomach pumped a few times from using too much. It's sort of like free liposuction!"

"Oh," Ephram replied. He pushed his plate of food away from himself. "I'm finished," he muttered and Amy looked at him sadly.

"But you barely touched your food!"

"Somehow I lost my appetite," he answered, as Bright phoned the poison control center in the other room. "Why did you cook all this anyways?" he asked, as he looked her up and down. She was wearing an outfit only a 1950's mother could love.

"I had to please the fans!" she cried in mock horror, and waved at a spot where she figured would be an ideal place for a hidden camera. "Hello world! I love you all my loyal fans!" She blew random kisses around the room and sighed. "We have school today," she pouted.

"I'm, uh, going to be heading, err, well, there's this thing I need to do and, uh, bye!" Ephram stuttered as he bounded out the door, completely freaked out by Amy's change in demeanor, not to mention Bright's transformation. He ran inside his house, slammed the door shut, and leaned on its frame, gasping for breath.

"Ephram! Breakfast?" Andy boomed as he shoved a plate full of food at his son. Ephram jumped.

"No! No more food!" he yelled as he looked at his father. "You shaved?" he asked his dad.

"Well, I had to look good for the fans!" Andy answered as if it were the most obvious thing on Earth. Ephram scowled.

"Get out of my way," he said as he pushed his father aside.

Andy spun around in surprise. "Is that a no?" when he received no answer, he turned to the camera and smiled. "I'm sure you'd appreciate a nice breakfast in bed, hm?"

- - - - - - -

"Everwood Escapades, Everwood Escapades," he sighed as he looked through the search engine's results. "Ah, there we go," he clicked the link and cocked an eyebrow when the page popped up. "What's this?" he asked himself. "This isn't right. Escape To Everwood?"

"Hey! Isn't that like, the exact same thing?" Bright asked as he popped in the window.

Ephram glared at the screen. "What a rip off. Why would someone make a site about the same thing with almost the exact same title? Why was Amy dressed like Sabrina from Bewitched? Why did Bright just pop in my window?" Bright smiled.

"Just came to visit my new buddy, buddy!" he grinned widely and Ephram began to back away towards the door of his room. Bright was approaching him slowly.

"Oooh no, Bright, I already know what you're gonna say next, and I won't have any of it!" said Ephram as he bumped into his bedpost.

"Why not?" Bright smiled wryly. "We wouldn't want to disappoint the fans,"

"Nooooooo!" Ephram yelled.

Bright chuckled loudly as he patted Ephram's shoulder. "That was all I came for, E Man. You're really easy to mess with, ya know." Bright shrugged and flew out the window. Ephram gasped for air. What was going on with everyone?

Ephram finally found the real Everwood Escapades. "I need to read something new," he said to himself, as he scanned through the nominees for best AU/New Character Stories:

The Dealings of Life by Evil TC

Lost And Kept by The Riff

Birds Coughing In The Trees by Lady Jenna

Long I Stood by DiVinci

Everwood: The Alternate Season 2 series by Jack B. Nimble

Southern Rose by WickedWillow1

Two Roads Diverged In A Yellow Wood by singcraz

"Ephram! Time for school!" his father shouted from downstairs. "The watchers will think you're a lazy bum, which, frankly, you are, if you don't get your butt down here!" Ephram smoothed down his ruffled hair and exhaled deeply as he gave himself a pep talk. "Just another day, Ephram, nothing to worry about, nothing's going to be different."

- - - - - - - -

"Oh my GOD!" Amy screamed as she ran through the halls of her school. She stopped abruptly, splashed some water on her face to give the illusion of tears, and continued her gallop. Ephram stood frozen. "Help! Someone! Ephram! I'm a damsel in distress! You have to help me get over my immediate pain and fall in love with me and then I will drop you like a dead fish again! EEEEEEPPPPHHHHRRRAAAMMMM!!!!!" she yelped at the top of her lungs.

"Calm down!" Ephram snapped as she huddled in his arms. "What happened?"

"Colin DIED!"

"No he didn't Amy. He was just recovering from surgery when-"

"NO! He died! Someone pulled his plug!" she sobbed into his shirt, tears soaking the same navy blue shirt he wore every single day. People in the hallways glanced at the two in a strange manner and walked past.

"Amy, uh, you're sorta ruining my shirt," he replied calmly. "Speaking of shirts, what are you wearing now?"

"Oh! Do you like it?" she asked as she smiled and spun around with a girly demeanor, completely out of place for this situation. "It cost a fortune, which is hardly a dent in my savings," she replied briskly. Ephram sighed.

"Amy, you're wearing a ball gown to school?" he sighed, exasperated.

"Yep! It's the new fad I'm starting." She smiled giddily. "Isn't it just scrumptious?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I guess. But Colin? Dead?" Ephram murmured. Amy gasped.

"Oh yes, I almost forgot about our beloved Golden Boy!" Amy said as she clasped her hands together in a very over-dramatic gesture.

"Golden Boy? Amy, you're starting to sound like-"

She cut Ephram off. "Yes, that's right," she said, "just like one of the fans."

[A/n: Join us! Join us! Lol.

That's right, the nominees are: