Was it him was it his falt?
He sat there on his bed in his quarter crying like a little baby for his mommy wondering was it his fault did he kill all those people did he even know what he was doing or was it just a slip of the moment did he mean to push the button or was he not thinking straight.
"Computer start asst. chief tactical officers personal log"
* a soft noise sounds*
-beep-
"asst chief tactical officers personal log star date 2395.076 September 3rd I was on a routine shift change at my post scanning for other vessels when Ensign Kim yelled out to me
"Patterson wake up there is a Borg vessel approaching"
"The captain yells out red alert all crew battle stations"
I readied my self preparing for a hit but it never came I was awaiting the captains command when I noticed a takion emission was being sent out from the Borg Vessel so I notified the Captain
" sir the Borg vessel is emitting a takion emission"
she looks up at me as if I was on a 20th century drug called weed
" lt. Are you sure "
I replied to her she told Ensign Kim to put it on screen the Borg vessel was moving towards us at 71/4th impulse and there was a blue stream of gas leaking out of the cube the captain looks at me and says
"Lt that's not a takyon emission lt are you sure you are reading the console right"
I look at her oddly I felt like she did not expect more from me
"Yes sir the console's readings are telling me that it is a takeyon emission coming from the cube ill run a diagnostic of my station sir"
so I ran a diagnostic and every thing checked out fine
"sir every thing is operational at ful capacity"
the Lt Paris yells out to the captain to look we all look at the view screen and we see that the Borg vessel is opening up the captain looks at me with concern
"Lt what the hell is going on!"
I look at my console and I see that the Borg vessel is charging up some sort of weapon my mid starts to race typing on the console was hell his mind was racing with all the theories of what might happen or what he might do wrong I tell the captain she orders me to raise shields and charge weapons I do so she tells me to wait for her command so I wait as the Borg vessel opens completely it just stays there then a dozen Fighters come out well what look like fighters the are closing in on the ship the captain tells me to fire on them so I do and I make a direct hit but nothing happens to them
"Sir they are not affected they must have some multi field shielding"
she tells me to fire again but have the phaser's alternate frequency I fire again and it rebuses their shields h I request to the captain that we send out our fighters she agreas with me I suddenly get a boost of pride as the fighters are leaving the fighter bay the Borg fighters are right near the ship surrounding them
" sir I cant lock on to them its all up to the fighters now the fighters are starting to drop like flies the I think to my self if we can get the fighters to lure the Borg away from the ship and send out a multi field disputer I could then send out a photon torpedo to destroy the ships then I realize that it would destroy our fighters to I tell the captain she tells me to do it I don't move the I try to talk to the captain and tell her that it will kill our ships to she says that it's a risk we will have to take so I do I re-calibrate the felid pules generator and fire then I fire the torpedo it works but our men are all dead the captain congratulate's us on a job well done Commander Tovak relieves me of duty I go back to my quarter and I started to think was it my fault that they all died
"Computer end asst chiefs personal log"
*a soft beep sounds*
-beep-
He stands up shaking looking out the window of his quarter he stars to cry again he walks over to the replicator
"Computer replicate a Klingon battle knife"
* ths knife appears out of know were he slowly picks its up and places it to his neck is mind is racing the thought of what he did he can handle it any more so he glides the knife acrossed his neck the pain is unbearable if feels like a thousand knives runing through his body he falls to the ground in pain the blood pours everywhere he yells for help he lies there bleeding and in pain the door opens ....................
.......................To Be Continued...................