Act One

Scene Five

We begin with the arena set up lavishly – much more so than in the previous scene. The ARBITER is seated in the back, WALTER is off to the side overseeing a group of offstage people, the Soviets waiting impatiently.

Merchandisers.

WALTER

WHETHER YOU ARE PRO OR ANTI

OR COULD NOT CARE LESS

WALTER / MERCHANDISERS

WE ARE HERE TO TELL YOU

WE ARE HERE TO SELL YOU CHESS

WALTER

NOT A CHANCE OF YOU ESCAPING FROM OUR WILES

WE'VE LOCKED THE DOORS, WE'VE BLOCKED THE AISLES

WE'VE A FRANCHISE WORTH EXPLOITING, AND WE WILL!

(MERCHANDISERS: YES WE WILL!)

WHEN IT COMES TO MERCHANDISING WE COULD KILL

MERCHANDISER 1

WHEN YOU GET UP (MERCHANDISERS: WHEN YOU GET UP)

IN THE MORNING

'TIL YOU CRASH AT NIGHT

MERCHANDISER 2

YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE

WITH BISHOP, ROOK, AND KNIGHT

MERCHANDISER 3

CLEAN YOUR TEETH WITH CHECQUERED TOOTHPASTE

MERCHANDISER 4

WEAR OUR VESTS

MERCHANDISERS

OUR KINGS AND QUEENS ON BOUNCING BREASTS

YOU CAN EVEN BUY A SET

AND LEARN TO PLAY

WE DON'T MIND WE'LL SELL YOU SOMETHING

ANYWAY

SELL YOU SOMETHING ANYWAY!

Now, a brief pause as the ARBITER irritatedly checks his watch.

ARBITER

I'm pleased to welcome you to the opening game of the World Chess Championship between champion Frederick Trumper of the United States and challenger Anatoly Sergievsky of the Soviet Union. We will begin as soon as Mr. Trumper arrives -

Rock music blares and FREDDIE thunders down the aisles of the theatre with FLORENCE behind him. They are also shown on the wall behind the stage (video footage).

What a Scene.

FREDDIE

WHAT A SCENE! WHAT A JOY!

WHAT A LOVELY SIGHT!

WHEN MY GAME IS THE BIG SENSATION

HAS THE MOB'S SPORTING TASTE

ALTERED OVERNIGHT?

HAVE THEY FOUND NEW SOPHISTICATION?

NOT YET! THEY JUST WANNA SEE

IF THE NICE GUY BEATS THE BUM

WHEN IT'S EAST-WEST AND THE MONEY'S SKY HIGH

THEY ALL COME!

YOU CAN RAISE ALL YOU WANT

IF YOU RAISE THE ROOF

SCREAM AND SHOUT, AND THE GATE INCREASES

BREAK THE RULES, BREAK THE BANK

I'M THE LIVING PROOF

THEY DON'T CARE HOW I MOVE MY PIECES!

I KNOW I'M THE BEST THERE IS

BUT ALL THEY WANT IS A SHOW

WELL THAT'S ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE GLAD TO OBLIGE

SRO! S.R.O!

FREDDIE finally takes his place at the chess board. Over this scene is an instrumental piece. The first game goes well for FREDDIE, who starts off black – he plays a brilliant pawn sacrifice to trap ANATOLY's one remaining knight, where ANATOLY resigns the match. The second game commences, and ANATOLY deviates from FREDDIE's preferred line of the Caro-Kann. ANATOLY acts in every way to distract FREDDIE as he does, obviously coached – he rocks in his chair, drums his fingers, plays with his flag, eats yogurt, and takes a stroll around the board. FREDDIE kicks him in the shins in return – and emotions grow more tense between the two. He is on the second cup of yogurt when FREDDIE stops the clock.

FREDDIE

What the hell is that?

ANATOLY

What is what?

FREDDIE

(Points.)

That.

ANATOLY

This is yogurt. Would you like some?

FREDDIE

I demand that the Soviet delegation stop this at once!

MOLOKOV

(Flips through the match contract.)

Point twenty six: Both players may be served refreshments at any point during play.

FREDDIE

(Now on his feet.)

That does not mean you can give him messages.

ARBITER

(Dumbfounded.)

Messages?

ANATOLY

(In Russian. "What is he doing?")

Shto on dye-lai-yet?

FREDDIE

You can't fool me. It's strawberry!

(As if to show the world a remarkable fact, he picks up the cup. It is, indeed, strawberry.)

ANATOLY

(Deadpan.)

Yes. It is strawberry. So what?

FREDDIE

Before that it was blueberry.

ARBITER

Mr. Trumper, is there a point to this –

FREDDIE

Are you blind? They're giving him signals.

(Beat.)

By the choice of yogurt!

The ARBITER blinks incredulously. FLORENCE puts a hand on FREDDIE's shoulder, but he shrugs it off. An outraged MOLOKOV moves upstage to the board.

MOLOKOV

This is absurd! We should not have to suffer such –

FREDDIE

Can it, Red!

MOLOKOV is clearly taken aback – people do not talk to him this way. FREDDIE addresses the ARBITER.

FREDDIE

What are you going to do about this?

ARBITER

I'm going to have to insist that you give Mr. Sergievsky his yogurt back –

FREDDIE

Oh, so you want him to have his yogurt?

ARBITER

(Suddenly realizing his error.)

Mr. Trumper, will you please –

FREDDIE

(To ANATOLY.)

Here! Have your fucking yogurt!

FREDDIE flings the cup at a shocked ANATOLY, who is still in his seat. The yogurt splashes onto his suit; some probably gets on his face and hair. FREDDIE storms out of the building as general pandemonium ensues. A Russian runs to ANATOLY with a towel.

ARBITER

All spectators, sponsors, and agents of the press will leave the arena presently. Only players and their seconds are to remain.

(He glares at WALTER.)

Only players and their seconds.

The stage clears except for MOLOKOV, FLORENCE, ANATOLY, and the ARBITER. They take up positions around the board.

A Model of Decorum and Tranquility.

MOLOKOV

WE WISH, NO MUST, MAKE OUR DISGUST

AT THIS ABUSE PERFECTLY CLEAR

WE'RE HERE FOR CHESS - ARE THE US?

IF SO WHY FOUL THE ATMOSPHERE?

FLORENCE

I MUST PROTEST

OUR DELEGATION HAS A HOST OF VALID POINTS TO RAISE

OUR PLAYER'S SPORTING ATTITUDE'S BEYOND ALL PRAISE

AS ANY NEUTRAL WOULD ATTEST

BUT WE CONCEDE

THE FACT HIS MASTERS BEND THE RULES IS NOT A PLAYER'S FAULT

WE'LL OVERLOOK THEIR CRUDE POLITICAL ASSAULT

AND UNDER PROTEST WE'LL PROCEED

MOLOKOV

(Simultaneous with FLORENCE's speech above.)

WE WISH, NO MUST, MAKE OUR DISGUST

AT THIS ABUSE PERFECTLY CLEAR

WE'RE HERE FOR CHESS - ARE THE US?

HOW CAN YOU MAKE SUCH A CLAIM HERE?

MOLOKOV

IF YOUR MAN'S SO SWEET | ARBITER

THEN WHY HIS FIGHTING TALK? |I CALL THIS TUNE

IF HE'S NOT A CHEAT |NO ONE'S IMMUNE

THEN WHY ON EARTH |TO MY POWER

DID HE GO TAKE A WALK? |IN THIS HALL

WHY LET HIM LOOSE? | FLORENCE

HE'LL SOON REDUCE |I AM NOT SURPRISED HE

| WANTED FRESHER AIR

THIS GREAT EVENT |ONCE HE REALIZED

TO A BRAWL |THERE WAS NO HOPE

|OF YOUR LOT PLAYING FAIR

IT'S VERY SAD

TO SEE THE ANCIENT AND |HOW SAD TO SEE

DISTINGUISHED GAME |WHAT USED TO BE

THAT USED TO BE

FLORENCE AND MOLOKOV

A MODEL OF DECORUM AND TRANQUILITY

BECOME LIKE ANY OTHER SPORT,

A BATTLEGROUND FOR RIVAL IDEOLOGIES

TO SLUG IT OUT WITH GLEE.

ANATOLY MOLOKOV

I WOULD SAY WITH REGARD TO |WE WISH, NO MUST,

HIM IT IS HARD TO |MAKE OUR DISGUST

REBUT |AT THIS ABUSE

|PERFECTLY CLEAR

EVER GROWING SUSPICION |WE'RE HERE FOR CHESS

|ARE THE U.S.?

MY OPPOSITION'S |IF SO WHY FOUL THE

|ATMOSPHERE?

A NUT

FLORENCE | ARBITER

I DON'T SUPPOSE |I MUST INSIST

YOU'D UNDERSTAND THE STRAIN AND |THAT YOU DESIST

PRESSURE GETTING WHERE HE'S GOT |IF YOU VALUE

FOR THEN YOU'D SIMPLY CALL HIM |YOUR LIVELIHOOD

HIGHLY STRUNG AND NOT

IMPLY THAT HE WAS OFF HIS HEAD

ANATOLY

BUT HOW CAN YOU | MOLOKOV

WORK FOR ONE WHO |IT SEEMS TO US

TREATS YOU LIKE DIRT? |THERE'S LITTLE POINT

|IN WAITING

PAY MUST BE GOOD |HERE ALL NIGHT FOR

|HIS RETURN

|AND SINCE A PEACEFUL

|MATCH IS

FLORENCE |OUR SOLE CONCERN

I'M NOT GETTING RICH |WE WON'T MAKE AN

|OFFICIAL FUSS

MY ONLY INTEREST

IS IN SOMETHING WHICH |IN SHORT WE RISE

GIVES ME THE CHANCE |ABOVE YOUR GUY'S

OF WORKING WITH THE BEST |TANTRUMS, DRAMAS,

|DIRTY TRICKS

ANATOLY

I CAN ONLY SAY

I HOPE YOUR DREAM COMES TRUE | ARBITER

'TIL THAT FAR-OFF DAY |GET THIS STRAIGHT, I

I HOPE YOU COPE |WILL NOT STAND BY

WITH HELPING NUMBER TWO |WHILE YOU PLAY AT

|POLITICS

ARBITER AND MOLOKOV

IT'S VERY SAD |ANATOLY AND FLORENCE

TO SEE THE ANCIENT AND |HOW SAD TO SEE

DISTINGUISHED GAME |WHAT USED TO BE

THAT USED TO BE

ALL FOUR

A MODEL OF DECORUM AND TRANQUILITY

BECOME LIKE ANY OTHER SPORT

A BATTLEGROUND FOR RIVAL IDEOLOGIES

TO SLUG IT OUT WITH GLEE

ANATOLY leaves, giving a wistful glance toward FLORENCE as he goes.

ARBITER

Enough of this pious waffle! The current situation is completely unacceptable. By noon tomorrow, BOTH players will be back at the board. Tied to the chairs if need be. The game is greater than its players!

The ARBITER storms out of the arena, leaving FLORENCE and MOLOKOV to figure things out.

MOLOKOV

Such true words.

FLORENCE

Save it, Molokov.

MOLOKOV

Of course. So how is it that we can persuade your man back to the board?

FLORENCE

Easy. You stop playing politics and start playing chess.

MOLOKOV

From where I stand, Tolya Sergievsky seems to be the only one interested in playing chess.

FLORENCE

And "Tolya" wasn't trying to distract Freddie?

MOLOKOV

He did nothing of the sort!

FLORENCE

Rocking his chair, pacing, scratching, drumming the table...

MOLOKOV

I do not see how you can compare this to the insult we suffered.

FLORENCE

It's pretty damn obvious to me.

MOLOKOV

Mr. Trumper's trademark paranoia does not suit you, Miss Vassy.

FLORENCE

Listen carefully, comrade. We've got our eyes on you. Now do you want to go home to a salt mine, or are we gonna talk?

MOLOKOV

Your distrust of Russians is most distressing.

FLORENCE

I can't say that Freddie or I have had endearing experiences with your country, Mr. Molokov.

MOLOKOV

And I would think you would be reluctant to attack fellow Eastern Europeans.

FLORENCE

Fellow Eastern Europeans. I was five when I left Hungary. I can't even remember it. My homeland, my mother, my father, my – my people – all torn from me courtesy of you. And you call yourself a fellow Eastern European!

MOLOKOV

Come now, Miss Vassy. All this bickering will get us nowhere. Let us meet again, when both our heads are clearer.

FLORENCE takes a notebook from her purse. She writes something on a new page, tears off the leaf, and hands it to MOLOKOV.

FLORENCE

The Generous Sole. It has a well known terrace bar. Meet us there at ten o'clock, and we will discuss.