If I Could Turn Back Time

by Listener15

Frankie is dead but not gone. And she gets the answer to the big 'what if' question. Femslash

Title: If I Could Turn Back Time

Author: Listener15 (Listy)

E-mail: Listener15@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13/R

Pairing: Frankie/Bianca & Maggie/Bianca

Summary: Frankie is dead but not gone. And she gets the answer to the big 'what if' question.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I wish I did 'cause then Binks would FINALLY get a girlfriend.

Part 1 of 2

"What the...Ó Frankie look down at herself. She was dressed in white jeans and t-shirt. Looking around she saw nothing but a big white room. A few steps forward and a dark spot in the distance appeared. "Well, no where else to go." It didn't take long for the dot to become a man polishing an object in his hand.

"Hey you. Finally decided to show up." The black man placed the small round object on the stand in front of him. "The name's Jesse." The two shook hands.

"Where am I?" She eyed the object on the stand. "And what the heck is that?"

The object was the size of a large marble, able to fit comfortably in the palm of one's hand, but the eye catching thing was that it was glowing and changing colours to every colour in a rainbow.

"That? I've never been able to pronounce it's name. What it does is let's whoeverÕs holding it travel in time. If it gets broken it undos whatever was done. We mostly use it to change little things that didn't happen or did happen. Then it gets stored in the vault." He turned to face Frankie fully. "I keep one around 'cause the boss sometimes needs things fixed in a hurry."

Frankie grinned. "So Jesse, where are we?"

"Somewhere, nowhere. Doesn't really matter really. You're just here slowpoke." He crossed his arms and gave her an impatient look.

"Slowpoke? I just got here!" Hands on hips she glared at Jesse.

"Says you. It's been dead almost a year women."

"WHAT?!"

"Death isn't as instantaneous as most people think Mary Frances." He grinned at the deepening glare. "Look." He pointed to a mirror that suddenly appeared.

"It's Frankie." She mumbled as she walked over to peer into the it. Her eyes widened at what she saw.

********

"Maggie!" Bianca couldn't contain her laughter. Seated at SOS the din of voices kept their conversation private.

Her friend grinned. God she's beautiful. Would she mind if I kissed her right now? Maggie put a hault on that thought and continued. "Well it's true!" She smiled as Bianca continued to laugh.

When her laughter finally died down, Bianca just gazed at her friend. She is wonderful. I wish I had the courage to tell her, but I don't want to loose her friendship.

********

That should be me. I should be the one with Bianca. For the first time she was jealous of her twin. If only...

"Well, that enough." With a wave of his hand the image disappeared. "Follow me." He turned and started to walk away. "You have some things to do before you can get out of here."

Without a second thought Frankie grabbed the glowing marble.

"Frankie no!" Jesse shouted.

He said something else but she didn't hear it as her vision started blurring and everything went black.

Awaking with a start she nearly leaped out of her bed. Blinking that the brightness of her room it took her a bit to realize someone was in her bed with her. In fact, as she looked around, she wasn't in her normal room. She was in the Valley Inn. The comforter covered the head of her bedmate. Frankie didn't even want to hope, afraid to, that it might not be...

"Mmmm...Frankie, stop moving so much." The muffled voice came.

Her eyes widened and a grin began to grow. She pulled back the covers to see a sleepy Bianca. It was the most beautiful site she ever saw. Her grin became a smirk as she felt skin on skin.

"It's still early. Go back to sleep." Bianca snuggled closer and drift off.

Without a word Frankie placed the marble like object in the draw next to the bed and followed her lover into slumber.

Part 2 of 2

It was almost noon when the two young women finally woke up, never breaking the sensuous contact. One thing led to another and soon Frankie was experiencing the most wonderful of feelings, of touches, of caresses. It was an ecstasy filled afternoon. After a long leisurely time Bianca drifted off to sleep. Frankie was still basking in their love making when her lover started to stir.

"No...please."

"Ssshhh...I've got you." She tightened her hold, a concerned look.

"No...oh god." The thrashing became more violent.

"Bianca, wake up. You're having a bad dream."

"NNOOO!!!" Bianca bolted up right screaming, knocking a confused Frankie out of bed.

Getting up quickly she held her lover as her body was racked with sobs. She muttered nonsense words stroking her hair in comfort.

"Sorry, again." Bianca held on tight.

"ItÕs alright."

"Oh god, look at the time. I better get going." After climbing out of bed she started to get dressed.

"Why?"

"I have to go get ready silly. Don't forget, we're meeting there at seven. See you there." With a peck on the cheek Bianca was out the door.

"What the hell?" Frankie commented to the empty room. She had no idea what Bianca was talking about. A thought came to her. I hope I kept that thing up... Putting on a robe she walked over to the desk. If I know myself like I do. She started feeling under the desk, it took her a few minutes but she pulled out a battered looking journal.

"I guess I did keep it up." She opened the blue notebook, one that she remembered starting the day before she was killed. "Wow, did I ever." There were at least fifty entries all. "Let's get cracking." Opening it up to the first entry she began to read.

It took her over an hour to read it all and by the end of it she was in tears. She found out that she hadn't slept with JR and had actually went over to Bianca's, going with her first instinct the one she had ignored. But it had come with a price. Erica was the one who was shot and died, being mistaken for her. Leo had been paralyzed at his wedding, Anna killed after taking putting a bullet into the shooter when she took a bullet that was ment for Bianca, a last parting shot. It was aimed at Bianca to get back at Frankie, this was later learned when Vanessa confessed before going into a catatonic state. Jack had tried to support Bianca but soon fell into despair, taking to drink.

Then came the entry she couldn't ignore. Apparently those nightmares weren't uncommon. Bianca had been having them every night since Erica's death, each getting worse until recently as they started to lessen in intensity.

Ring ring.

She wiped her face with her sleeve.

Ring ring.

"Alright IÕm coming." She picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Is this Mary Frances Stone?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry to have to inform you but your sister was killed in an explosion. It took place last week. Apparently the gas stove at the apartment she was living at had a leak. We're so sorry."

Frankie just stared at the phone.

"Miss Stone? Are you there?"

She heard the name on the line call for her as it was put back on the cradle.

"I guess one of use was supposed to die. Oh god." Her tears continued. Without really wanting to she picked up the journal and finished the last entry. "Her prom is tonight? But it should have been long past....Ó She looked at the date at the top. "Better get ready."

She looked into her closet and found an off-white dress hanging in a garment bag, it came down to her ankles with a long slit on the side to mid-thigh with no ruffles of any kind. She had simple silver earrings with matching necklace. A smile graced her lips as she got ready.

Frankie met Bianca at the door to the large fancy hall rented out for the Senior Prom. The younger woman was dressed in a snug red dress that barely went to her knees, though Frankie noticed that when Bianca walked it rode up.

Wow. Was the only thought Frankie could think for the first ten minutes there after seeing this vision is red that gave her one hell of a kiss hello. One that made the teenage boys droll and the girls jealous. She barely repressed the urge to stick out her tongue at the gawkers.

The night was spent in laughter and joy. Both girls having a great time. But Frankie couldn't help but noticed that her lover didn't have that same sparkle in her eyes. The one that said 'life is wonderful don't you think so too?' It was gone, like it had never been. She flinched.

"Hey Bianca, want something to drink?" It was hot and they had spent most of the evening on the dance floor.

"Yes please. Diet Coke."

"One Diet Coke coming right up." Before going to the drink counter Frankie when to the cloakroom and retrieved her purse. She peeked inside. She had brought the marble thing with her, being careful to stuff a shirt inside the padded it. Hooking it over a shoulder she got in line for drinks.

Walking back she noticed one of the 'popular' girls talking to Bianca.

"Why hello there dyke." Morgan hissed. "Where's the skid row girlfriend?"

"Leave me alone please." Bianca's head was down, her voice soft.

"Now why would I do that freak?" Her smirk mean and cruel. "Like you ever do more than 'please stop.Õ" She laughed along with her friends.

"You better leave her alone bitch." If Frankie didn't have two sodas in her hands she would have slugged her.

"Oh I'm so scared. Let's go girls, we don't want to catch that disease." With a flip of her hair she and the little stooges walked off laughing.

"Bianca,Ó she set the sodas down and grabbed both of the girls hands "why didn't you stand up for yourself?"

With dead eyes she responded. "What's the point?" A shake of her head she managed a smile and began to drink her soda.

Then and there Frankie came to a decision. Recognizing the first strains of the song now playing she held out her hand. "Dance with me Binks."

Her lover smiled and nodded her head as a slow song continued its entry.

In the middle of the dance floor Bianca wrapped her arms around Frankie's neck, her lover's arms around her waist. There wasn't any room between them as they swayed to the song.

"If I should stay

I would only be in your way

So I'll go but I know

I'll think of you

Every step of the way

And I will always love you

I will always love you..."

Tears began to fall from Frankie's eyes. She could have dealt with all that had happened because she didn't die, but she couldn't take what happened with Bianca. The girl had lost her fight, lost that magic spark that filled a room up and never took any gruff.

"Bittersweet memories

That is all I am taking with me

So goodbye, please don't you cry

Because we both know I'm not what you need

And I will always love you

I will always love you"

Frankie song the rest of the song softly into Bianca's ear.

"I hope life

(I hope life)

Treats you kind

(Treats you kind)

And I hope you have all you dreams of

I wish you joy

(I wish you joy)

And happiness

(And happiness)

But above all this I wish you love

And I will always love you

I will always love you

Yes I will always love you

I will always love you..."

The song faded. Frankie pulled back slightly and kissed Bianca for all she was worth. Her left hand going up to tangle in the brown locks as her right stayed at her lover's waist. She dropped the time traveling marble, which she had palmed before walking out to the dance floor.

It exploded as soon as it hit the floor in an explosion of sparks. She felt the room start to spin, fading from existence. But she held onto the feeling of Bianca's lips on her own until. A sudden eruption of sounds, her lover was no longer there and she felt herself fall.

And she nearly fell flat on her face. After stopping herself she looked down, only to be able to see right through your stomach to the wall behind her. Guess I'm dead again.

Bianca shook her head that the sudden dizziness. What was that? With a shrug she sat up crossed legged on her bed at the Valley Inn. She had gotten back from having dinner with Maggie at SOS and spent some time writing in her journal.

A sad smile replaced the astonished look at seeing Bianca in front of her. Gotta make this count. She walked over to the girl and put her arms around the brunette.

The young woman looked up sharply. "Frankie?" She could feel her friend's presence, it was like being held. A burst of static and her radio was on, playing a song she never heard. She listened the to song.

"If I'd've known the way that this would end

If I'd've read the last page first

If I'd've had the strength to walk away

If I'd've known how this would hurt

I would've loved you anyway

I'd do it all the same

Not a second I would change

Not a touch that I would trade

Had I known my heart would break

I'd've loved you anyway"

An understanding smile on her lips.

"It's bittersweet to look back now

At memories withered on a vine

Just to hold you close to me

For a moment in time

I would've loved you anyway

I'd do it all the same

Not a second I would change

Not a touch that I would trade

Had I known my heart would break

I'd've loved you anyway "

Frankie stroked the silky hair, savoring every sensation, not missing a single sound, touch, smell, feeling. She looked over the girl's shoulder to read the journal entry.

"Even if I'd seen it comin'

You'd still have seen me runnin'

Straight into your arms

I would've loved you anyway

I'd do it all the same

Not a second I would change

Not a touch that I would trade

Had I known my heart would break

I would've loved you anyway

I would've loved you anyway "

A beep and the radio was off. Gathering the rest of her strength, Frankie whispered "No, never, and she does."

Bianca looked down at the last paragraph. 'Would Frankie be angry that I like Maggie like I do? Would she consider it cheating? I just don't know. It doesn't matter anyway, Maggie doesn't think of me as anything but her best friend.'

"Thank you Frankie."

Knock knock.

The young woman opened the door. "Maggie."

"Hey Binks. I just stopped by to...uh..."

Bianca felt a slight shove that sent her stumbling into Maggie's arms who had instinctively brought them up. "I...uh..." She stopped talking and just gazed into brown eyes. 'She does' whirled around her head only to hault on the lips in so close to her own. Then she felt the electricity spark as her lips met Maggie's.

Frankie felt herself start to fad. Not before seeing her sister nudge Bianca further into the room, close the door with her foot and turn the other girl around to press her up against the door. "Go sis." A pain ripped though her chest, the same pain she felt when she first died. Then all faded out.

She was in the all white room again. This time she sat down, brought up her knees, wrapped her arms around her legs, let her head fall down onto them and cried. She cried for herself, for Bianca, for Maggie. She cried for what could have been, what could never be, and lost opportunities. Frankie knew if she had lived her life a little, just the tiniest bit, differently from the beginning she and Bianca could have been happy together. Then her tears changed from the soul searing sadness to ones of happiness. It was like a switch was flipped, a light suddenly lit that filled every part of the shattered soul. Bianca's love had changed her. Before she wouldn't have cared if the other person was sad or not totally happy, just as long as she got her way. But now....she had put Bianca's total happiness before her own. Frankie thought that she had given her soul to Bianca to be lost forever, only to find that she had given it back. Completely healed with parts, new and amazing parts, she never knew were missing.

A hand settled on her shoulder.

"Come on Frankie. Time to go."

She looked up with red-rimmed eyes. "I guess I've got what's coming to me." Head hung she stood up.

Jesse grinned. "Yup. But it's not what you think." He tilted her head up. "God likes you Kiddo. She gave you a test and you came through with flying colours."

"What?"

"That Thingy-ma-bob, it isn't exactly what I told you it was. It doesn't exactly go back in time, more like an alternative universe...I think. That's God's area of expertise. Anyway, it's up to that person to decided whether to continue with where they went to or come back here. Sometimes they stay and it's a good thing. Other times it isn't and they pay the consequences later after they 'die' again." He put an arm around her and started to walk. "Like I said God likes you. She thrilled you went passed. That's one thing that so cool with her, she won't interfere, she gave us total free will. You proved that it's not always a bad thing."

"So, will I still remember what happened?" Fear in her eyes that she would forget the one good thing in her life. Or is that non-life. I'm so confused.

"Yup. In a way that's her gift. Come on. Time for you to meet the rest of Pine Valley's long departed. How about I introduce you to Bianca's dad?"

"Uhh...is that a good idea?" The thought of meeting a parental figure freaked her out. At least he can't kill me.

Jesse laughed. "Yup. He's been waiting to meet the girl who could put a smile on his daughter's face" he paused and looked pointedly at Frankie. "And who would give up everything for her happiness. Come on. They're waiting."

The End

The version of "I Will Always Love You" is by Dolly Parton (who wrote the song) with Vince Gil (Album-Something Special).

The song "I Would've Loved You Anyways" is sung by Trisha Yearwod (Album-In And Out)

Three notes here.

1. I hope I didn't get anyone's hopes up. I was listening to the Dolly/Vince song and this story popped into my head. I'm a sucker for a happy ending so this is what I came up with...a sad/happy ending.

2. I don't have the Trisha song but if ya'll want I can upload the Dolly/Vince song so you know what it sounds like.

3. I want to thank Candice who found me the lyrics for the Trisha song. Thank you again buddy!

Hope ya'll liked the story. Feedback is welcomed!