Title:            Life, Love, Heaven and Hell

Author:         Shinigami195

Summary:      After reading a Christmas present from Quatre, Heero arranges the last meeting of the five pilots

Rating:          PG-13

Pairings:        1+R, 1+2

Warnings:      DEATH!!!!!!!

Notes:          POV, odd ending, lets see if you get it, /////italics///// are from the book that Heero reads, italics may not show on some formats.

Feedback:     PLEASE!!!!!!!! Shinigami195@ntlworld.com, or Duo_Chan2x1x2@ntlworld.com or ChibiKitsuna@hotmail.com which ever one you wanna send it too!!!

Life, Love, Heaven and Hell

//////////"The war may be over and we may have left the world in a peaceful state but those who fought in the war and ended up taking life will never truly be able to enjoy the peace that lays over Earth and the colonies for they will never be able to find peace within themselves. Especially me and my fellow pilots who were trained from an early age to do nothing part from fight, kill… murder and know nothing of true inner peace. Own souls are rotting in Hell even though we are living in a world that praises us for being murderers."///////////

I set the book down on my bedside table and glanced across at my wife who was still reading her own book and was paying me no attention and so I clambered out of bed and pulled on my shorts before I headed from the bedroom towards my study located at the back of the house as far away from the bedroom as possible.

I sat down in the small room at the desk and touched my laptop, the one thing in the house that kept me connected with the only friends I had but I could never see them… until this moment when the desire to be able to hold them all again was too strong to resist.

The date is the 26th of December in the year AC200. Under the Christmas Tree yesterday was a present from Quatre and wrapped in silver paper was a book. A book that I've already finished, a book that has been the most truest piece of writing about the gundam war that I have read since said war finished exactly four years ago to this day.

The writer is unknown to the normal everyday world, but the speech of the words are so familiar to me that it is patronising to him, that I can not recall his face, his hair, his voice but yet I can remember what it felt like to have his body pressed against mine as we lost ourselves to passion and pleasure.

But in my defence, it has been four years since I last laid my eyes on him.

And so I sent the forbidden e-mail to my closest friends and lovers, a request for a secret meeting, a meeting to see them, to know and to understand the farewell that had been written at the beginning of the book.

And to my surprise, they all came.

The graveyard of an old oz base, one long ago destroy by our own hands, the place where we first all met as 5 individuals and we left as a group of 5 united. And he arrived last, with a heavy black cloak covering the whole of his body and hiding his face from view, and all we could see where violet eyes covered with shadows peering at us all a deep emotion in them, one of love, one of friendship, and one of regret.

He was the one who held the answer to the question we all had our tongues.

"Why?"

"I had too"

Plain and simple.

"Why the farewell?"

"Because next week, I wont be able to say it."

We all knew, I knew, all too well what he was saying and the very thought felt like a dagger had been stuck through my heart!

I would follow him to the grave, unless he asked me not too. I would anything for him, I had proven that when I had married Relena at his request, he denied me the right to live by his side and I married her because I had nowhere else to go.

We didn't give him pity, and he didn't need to explain.

The intensity of the training which we had all gone through has left us all with hardly no lift left, we would all be dead by the age of 30, and it was a fact we had all grown to live with.

The others had nothing to say and it was a simple goodbye, denying the truth would leave us with nothing but grief when the end finally came. They all gave him their respect before leaving and for the first time in four years I was left standing face to face alone with my beloved.

I couldn't move.

And he did all he needed to.

He kissed me and left.

There was nothing else.

Four days later Quatre called me with the news.

Two weeks later Wufei got a call from Quatre.

//////////"We all reach a point in our lives where we need to put pen to paper and tell our life story to the world. I am barely twenty years yet I have seen more than anyone should be allowed to see. And now it is time to show the world the real truth behind the heroes of the war. I'm going to tell you the real people behind the gundam pilots and the price which we have all paid in order to give the world and space peace. It is too late for us, too late for me and now this is my last chance to give my last respects for this cruel world."//////////

Owari

~Shinigami195~

07/12/2003