Author: Hilda
Title: Solace
Warnings: shounen ai, fluffiness; later on, you will be treated to a hearty helping of angst, self-injury etc etc.
Pairings: 2x4 (more so later on)
Disclaimer: ::holds up Gundam Wing:: You actually think I own this? You silly people... Anyways, don't sue me or poor little Quatre will cry (and then I'll come kick you until *you* cry) ::blinks::
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Bright sunshine fell in through the windows of Quatre's room. Two bodies were snuggling within the sheets, sound with sleep, and peaceful silence lay thick upon the air.
The blonde boy had not relinquished his unexpected visitor for one moment during the night, hugging Duo protectively in his arms. A serene smile was shared by both.
It was Quatre who awoke first, an early riser by nature. After furrowing his brow for a few seconds, his sleepy mind began to recall the events of the early morning hours. Duo had come to his room and asked to sleep there for the night. The blonde had agreed, but once he had turned out the lights...
Quatre's eyes snapped open as his thoughts came to a frantic conclusion -
He had kissed Duo.
Twice.
He had kissed Duo, while the boy was asleep, and had found... he had found solace.
With some effort, Quatre came to the conclusion that the whole thing was real. No matter how hard he willed it to be a dream, the emotion was real...
Blinking, the pilot shook himself from his thoughts only to find that he still clutched the boy that haunted him. Quatre panicked and pulled away, trying to distance himself, trying to erase the "proof" of his actions. Duo stirred slightly, but somehow remained immersed in sleep. With a great deal of caution, the small boy sat up, then got out of bed. He forced himself to suppress the strange feeling that squeezed his heart as he gazed down at the sleeping Duo.
Just as Quatre was about to turn away, another thought hit him with disturbing force - "What if Duo remembers everything?"
Possessed by this frightening concept, Quatre began to wring his hands nervously. He stared anxiously at the brunette pilot, as if willing him to not remember those strange things that had come to pass mere hours ago. Pressing his lips together in a preoccupied line, Quatre forced himself to look away - it wouldn't do to have Duo wake up to find him distant and staring.
Taking a deep breath, the blonde strode over to his dresser, quietly extracted a suitable set of clothes, and, after shutting his bedroom door, headed for the bathroom.
It took only a few absent minded strides and he was there. Quatre closed the door of the modest bathroom with a sigh of relief. Though making an admirable effort at remaining calm, he wasn't sure how much longer he could remain reasonable, what with questions and possible scenarios playing out in his mind. Deciding that a hot shower might offer a little comfort, Quatre quickly stepped to the bath faucet and turned on the water.
Once the temperature was to his satisfaction, the blonde stripped off his pajamas and stepped inside. Although the hot water was quite successful in waking him up, the effects on Quatre's disjointed thinking weren't quite as positive. The beating of the droplets on and around him even seemed to spur further irrational thought.
"What if Duo remembers everything? What if he knows I kissed him? What if he tells Heero I kissed him and Heero comes and kills me?"
Quatre's innocent eyes grew wide at this last thought, and it took a lot of coaxing before his rational side could convince him that Heero wouldn't come after him with an automatic weapon. Breathing slowly, Quatre stared down at the porcelain tub as if it held the secrets of the universe. A nasty little voice in his head pushed forward a scarily feasible thought that try as he might, Quatre couldn't counter -
"What if Duo doesn't want to talk to me, or even see me anymore?"
This thought scared Quatre most of all, for he couldn't bear the thought of loosing a friend, especially on account of such a glaring mistake as this...
Suddenly flooded with an uncharacteristic anger, the small boy tried to resist the urge to smack his head against the tiled wall. He began muttering to himself, incoherent thoughts running together and repeating in an endless loop that he had no option but to voice -
"What a completely idiotic thing to do! What kind of uncalled for, exceedingly bizarre comfort was I trying to offer? How could I have *ever* been so stupid. I should have never been so dense as to try to help him. What happened was completely and totally unacceptable..."
The blonde realized that he had been standing in the warm water for quite some time, probably longer than was really necessary. Shutting off the comforting spray, Quatre stepped out onto the smooth floor and began to towel himself off. Securing the cloth around his middle with one hand, Quatre reached over the counter to wipe off the foggy mirror with the other.
Staring placidly at his reflection, the boy forced himself to take a few more steadying breathes. There was nothing he could do now except wait and see if Duo was as heavy a sleeper as Quatre hoped he was.
Grabbing the clothes that he had brought in with him, Quatre dressed amongst the humidity. He usually performed this task in the comfortable open spaces of his room, but he had decided it was best to dress in privacy on this day [1]. Making sure that all was in order, he tossed his pajamas into the hamper and walked out of the bathroom [2].
As he made his way down the hall, the small blonde pilot couldn't help but stop outside his bedroom. Furrowing his brow again, he opened the door just a crack. From what he could see, Duo was still sleeping. Quatre squinted over at the clock and could just make out that it was 7:21. He shut the door quietly and made his way down to the kitchen, perhaps walking a little faster than he really needed to on this normally laid back morning.
"thank you..." - those had been Duo's words. Quatre once more suppressed the rising sentiment of dread he felt associated with the coming day. The blonde told himself that these words had little meaning - Duo had been having a dream, and if he remembered the kiss at all, then he would probably associate it with this phenomenon of unconscious thought. Maybe he was even having a dream about Heero...
Quatre oriented himself, and realized that he had nearly passed the entrance to the kitchen and casual dining area. He walked inside and was satisfied to see that despite the nervous hindrances of the morning, he was still the first one up. No idle chatter to deal with just yet...
A servant walked in and made as if she was going to boil water for morning coffee or tea. Quatre waved her off kindly. "Don't worry, I can do it myself, Isabelle - I need something to do while I wait for the others, after all." He gave her a genuine smile and the servant bowed thankfully towards him. "If there is anything you need, Master, you know where to find me..." The small boy nodded and watched her retreating back.
Quatre moved to perform the task that the servant Isabelle had passed to him. Once again, he had to force more nervous thoughts back down. Sighing, he filled a teapot with water and put it on a front burner of the stove.
"I can't be so self-centered like that, only thinking of myself and worrying on what will become of me..."
At this, one thought almost seemed to light up in his head - there was something else that had happened during those early morning hours... Quatre was sure that there was something about Duo that was odd, something that it was vital Quatre remembered. However, try as he might, the kind pilot couldn't recall what it had been, and had no time to ponder further - foot steps were coming down the hallway towards the kitchen.
Soon, everyone would be awake, and Quatre would have to distract himself all together from the subject to keep from looking suspicious.
"That's right," he whispered softly to himself as the footsteps drew nearer. "I'll just act like nothing happened. There will be time enough to worry about things come evening."
WuFei walked in and Quatre flashed him an energetic smile. WuFei just shook his head in disbelief as if wondering how anyone could be so cheerful after getting up...
TBC
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
[1] - Hrm, I wasn't quite sure how well that sequence would go over, so I put in a bit of explanation that I hadn't originally planed on. Essentially, I made Quatre follow the same customs as I normally do - If I'm by myself, at my own house, then I get dressed in my room. If there's some miscellaneous visitor in the house or I'm at a friend's, then I dress in the bathroom ::shrugs:: I was just thinking about how annoying it is to get dressed in my tiny little bathroom... You all probably don't even think this little note was necessary, but oh well.
[2] - Do any of you have hampers? Where do you put them?? ^_^;; At my house, you just pitch dirty clothes in the general direction of the laundry room and hope someone is nice enough to wash them for you ^_^;;;
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
For all of those under the mistaken impression that just because I disappeared for a week means I was working on the story, I'd like to clarify my situation. Last week was Thanksgiving vacation from school, so obviously I had a little extra time on my hands. I was also temporarily insane because I thought that I might be able to regularly update a fanfic of sorts. It was for these reasons, and the magic of the early morning hours coupled with sugar/coffee, that this fic came in to being. I guess all I'm trying to say is that I go through hell every week with school, and I may have to slow my update schedule down by quite a bit. At this point, I need to actually write the next chapter, which will take time - I hope to have it up next week, but don't be surprised if I have to put it off longer.
Oh, and for all who think that the whole Quatre kissing Duo while Duo was sleeping was weird - I had my fsdking reasons ^_^ I guess I wanted to portray the paternal/maternal side of Quatre. I thought it would be a cute, spur of the moment thing that all you shounen-ai/yaoi fan girls would appreciate. I hate to get all defensive, but you have no idea how large of an inferiority complex I've got going on, and how guilty I felt knowing that I failed to express my intentions clearly... Sorry about the LaurenRant -_-;;
Title: Solace
Warnings: shounen ai, fluffiness; later on, you will be treated to a hearty helping of angst, self-injury etc etc.
Pairings: 2x4 (more so later on)
Disclaimer: ::holds up Gundam Wing:: You actually think I own this? You silly people... Anyways, don't sue me or poor little Quatre will cry (and then I'll come kick you until *you* cry) ::blinks::
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Bright sunshine fell in through the windows of Quatre's room. Two bodies were snuggling within the sheets, sound with sleep, and peaceful silence lay thick upon the air.
The blonde boy had not relinquished his unexpected visitor for one moment during the night, hugging Duo protectively in his arms. A serene smile was shared by both.
It was Quatre who awoke first, an early riser by nature. After furrowing his brow for a few seconds, his sleepy mind began to recall the events of the early morning hours. Duo had come to his room and asked to sleep there for the night. The blonde had agreed, but once he had turned out the lights...
Quatre's eyes snapped open as his thoughts came to a frantic conclusion -
He had kissed Duo.
Twice.
He had kissed Duo, while the boy was asleep, and had found... he had found solace.
With some effort, Quatre came to the conclusion that the whole thing was real. No matter how hard he willed it to be a dream, the emotion was real...
Blinking, the pilot shook himself from his thoughts only to find that he still clutched the boy that haunted him. Quatre panicked and pulled away, trying to distance himself, trying to erase the "proof" of his actions. Duo stirred slightly, but somehow remained immersed in sleep. With a great deal of caution, the small boy sat up, then got out of bed. He forced himself to suppress the strange feeling that squeezed his heart as he gazed down at the sleeping Duo.
Just as Quatre was about to turn away, another thought hit him with disturbing force - "What if Duo remembers everything?"
Possessed by this frightening concept, Quatre began to wring his hands nervously. He stared anxiously at the brunette pilot, as if willing him to not remember those strange things that had come to pass mere hours ago. Pressing his lips together in a preoccupied line, Quatre forced himself to look away - it wouldn't do to have Duo wake up to find him distant and staring.
Taking a deep breath, the blonde strode over to his dresser, quietly extracted a suitable set of clothes, and, after shutting his bedroom door, headed for the bathroom.
It took only a few absent minded strides and he was there. Quatre closed the door of the modest bathroom with a sigh of relief. Though making an admirable effort at remaining calm, he wasn't sure how much longer he could remain reasonable, what with questions and possible scenarios playing out in his mind. Deciding that a hot shower might offer a little comfort, Quatre quickly stepped to the bath faucet and turned on the water.
Once the temperature was to his satisfaction, the blonde stripped off his pajamas and stepped inside. Although the hot water was quite successful in waking him up, the effects on Quatre's disjointed thinking weren't quite as positive. The beating of the droplets on and around him even seemed to spur further irrational thought.
"What if Duo remembers everything? What if he knows I kissed him? What if he tells Heero I kissed him and Heero comes and kills me?"
Quatre's innocent eyes grew wide at this last thought, and it took a lot of coaxing before his rational side could convince him that Heero wouldn't come after him with an automatic weapon. Breathing slowly, Quatre stared down at the porcelain tub as if it held the secrets of the universe. A nasty little voice in his head pushed forward a scarily feasible thought that try as he might, Quatre couldn't counter -
"What if Duo doesn't want to talk to me, or even see me anymore?"
This thought scared Quatre most of all, for he couldn't bear the thought of loosing a friend, especially on account of such a glaring mistake as this...
Suddenly flooded with an uncharacteristic anger, the small boy tried to resist the urge to smack his head against the tiled wall. He began muttering to himself, incoherent thoughts running together and repeating in an endless loop that he had no option but to voice -
"What a completely idiotic thing to do! What kind of uncalled for, exceedingly bizarre comfort was I trying to offer? How could I have *ever* been so stupid. I should have never been so dense as to try to help him. What happened was completely and totally unacceptable..."
The blonde realized that he had been standing in the warm water for quite some time, probably longer than was really necessary. Shutting off the comforting spray, Quatre stepped out onto the smooth floor and began to towel himself off. Securing the cloth around his middle with one hand, Quatre reached over the counter to wipe off the foggy mirror with the other.
Staring placidly at his reflection, the boy forced himself to take a few more steadying breathes. There was nothing he could do now except wait and see if Duo was as heavy a sleeper as Quatre hoped he was.
Grabbing the clothes that he had brought in with him, Quatre dressed amongst the humidity. He usually performed this task in the comfortable open spaces of his room, but he had decided it was best to dress in privacy on this day [1]. Making sure that all was in order, he tossed his pajamas into the hamper and walked out of the bathroom [2].
As he made his way down the hall, the small blonde pilot couldn't help but stop outside his bedroom. Furrowing his brow again, he opened the door just a crack. From what he could see, Duo was still sleeping. Quatre squinted over at the clock and could just make out that it was 7:21. He shut the door quietly and made his way down to the kitchen, perhaps walking a little faster than he really needed to on this normally laid back morning.
"thank you..." - those had been Duo's words. Quatre once more suppressed the rising sentiment of dread he felt associated with the coming day. The blonde told himself that these words had little meaning - Duo had been having a dream, and if he remembered the kiss at all, then he would probably associate it with this phenomenon of unconscious thought. Maybe he was even having a dream about Heero...
Quatre oriented himself, and realized that he had nearly passed the entrance to the kitchen and casual dining area. He walked inside and was satisfied to see that despite the nervous hindrances of the morning, he was still the first one up. No idle chatter to deal with just yet...
A servant walked in and made as if she was going to boil water for morning coffee or tea. Quatre waved her off kindly. "Don't worry, I can do it myself, Isabelle - I need something to do while I wait for the others, after all." He gave her a genuine smile and the servant bowed thankfully towards him. "If there is anything you need, Master, you know where to find me..." The small boy nodded and watched her retreating back.
Quatre moved to perform the task that the servant Isabelle had passed to him. Once again, he had to force more nervous thoughts back down. Sighing, he filled a teapot with water and put it on a front burner of the stove.
"I can't be so self-centered like that, only thinking of myself and worrying on what will become of me..."
At this, one thought almost seemed to light up in his head - there was something else that had happened during those early morning hours... Quatre was sure that there was something about Duo that was odd, something that it was vital Quatre remembered. However, try as he might, the kind pilot couldn't recall what it had been, and had no time to ponder further - foot steps were coming down the hallway towards the kitchen.
Soon, everyone would be awake, and Quatre would have to distract himself all together from the subject to keep from looking suspicious.
"That's right," he whispered softly to himself as the footsteps drew nearer. "I'll just act like nothing happened. There will be time enough to worry about things come evening."
WuFei walked in and Quatre flashed him an energetic smile. WuFei just shook his head in disbelief as if wondering how anyone could be so cheerful after getting up...
TBC
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
[1] - Hrm, I wasn't quite sure how well that sequence would go over, so I put in a bit of explanation that I hadn't originally planed on. Essentially, I made Quatre follow the same customs as I normally do - If I'm by myself, at my own house, then I get dressed in my room. If there's some miscellaneous visitor in the house or I'm at a friend's, then I dress in the bathroom ::shrugs:: I was just thinking about how annoying it is to get dressed in my tiny little bathroom... You all probably don't even think this little note was necessary, but oh well.
[2] - Do any of you have hampers? Where do you put them?? ^_^;; At my house, you just pitch dirty clothes in the general direction of the laundry room and hope someone is nice enough to wash them for you ^_^;;;
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
For all of those under the mistaken impression that just because I disappeared for a week means I was working on the story, I'd like to clarify my situation. Last week was Thanksgiving vacation from school, so obviously I had a little extra time on my hands. I was also temporarily insane because I thought that I might be able to regularly update a fanfic of sorts. It was for these reasons, and the magic of the early morning hours coupled with sugar/coffee, that this fic came in to being. I guess all I'm trying to say is that I go through hell every week with school, and I may have to slow my update schedule down by quite a bit. At this point, I need to actually write the next chapter, which will take time - I hope to have it up next week, but don't be surprised if I have to put it off longer.
Oh, and for all who think that the whole Quatre kissing Duo while Duo was sleeping was weird - I had my fsdking reasons ^_^ I guess I wanted to portray the paternal/maternal side of Quatre. I thought it would be a cute, spur of the moment thing that all you shounen-ai/yaoi fan girls would appreciate. I hate to get all defensive, but you have no idea how large of an inferiority complex I've got going on, and how guilty I felt knowing that I failed to express my intentions clearly... Sorry about the LaurenRant -_-;;