Dawn- 'Yeah. Kinda. (Looks up)
I-I mean, yes. People keep… people have a
tendency to go away… and, I miss them. And
sometimes… I wish I could just
make them stop. Going away.'
Chapter fourteen
Tell me, Buffy, why ever would you want to return to Sunnydale? You are better off where you are!
"Leave me alone." Buffy said, running faster with the others. She had a hard time keeping up.
But I can't leave you alone Buffy. You aren't exactly the leave alone type. Sorry, but that is how it is.
"I'm going to show you how it is, if you don't shut up." She answered angrily.
The voice sighed. You're the Slayer, and you're forever going to annoy us demons. Just face it, you're doomed forever.
"Unless what?" Buffy asked, finding the urge to mock this strange voice in her head. But that would make matters worse.
The voice now laughed, despite Buffy's tired legs and long miles of running. Unless you stop doing what you're doing.
Buffy's legs faltered and she realized that they came to a stop. They were still inside the heart of the city, but there was an opening some way down. Then realizing what the voice had said, she took a whiff of air and said breathlessly,
"Never."
Pippin looked up at her strangely, but knew better than to question her. He learnt his lesson, big time.
"Gandalf, why had we stopped?" Frodo asked, still panting from the long run.
Behind her, Buffy felt Legolas move her aside and breathe in a deep air, a scowl plastering his face soon after. Following his eyes, she noticed way beyond the chamber and where they entered upon the city, was a bright red light, tinting the halls down yonder with a orange and yellow color. From way over to where they where, Buffyship felt the immense heat constricting from the obvious flames. Legolas' hand gripped the belt of the strap from his bow and looked alarmed.
"Well?" Everyone urged from the wizard. All except Legolas.
"If it from my knowledge, or may my eyes be deceiving me, that that is the Balrog."
Catalog? Buffy thought.
"Balrog." Murmured the others.
"A fire demon?" She asked. The wizard and Elf nodded. "Oh no. I know about these guys, they're really huge and mean looking. The kind you find in the scary movies and the intense novels that these sick, morbid people write about."
Silence, when at long last Aragorn spoke.
"You know of this demon as well?" He didn't sound surprised, and Buffy was glad someone had no doubt in her.
"Yeah, it's really ancient. Giles told me about it a long, long time ago, maybe when I was ending high school or something. But anyway, it's old and really cryptic. I saw a quick picture of it once, but it was really blurry. And Xander made this really funny joke to it…" She trailed off laughing, despite the look of horror she left on the male's faces.
Boromir shook his head slowly. "Are you kidding us?"
"No," Buffy choked out, and waved her hand in the air. "It started with great balls of fire, and-"
"ENOUGH!" The Hobbits, as well as Aragorn and Legolas, shouted.
Boromir and Buffy pouted, but said no more. Gandalf looked back to the light coming ever so closely, a grim and unreadable expression in his blue eyes. No one dared question him, and when he took a step back so did everyone else. Buffy and Merry stumbled over each other, but she shoved him off and caught up with Gandalf.
"Why are we backing up?" She questioned, finding it hard to speak and walk backwards at the same time.
"The demon of the underworld shan't, and can't, be stricken with." He replied gravely, and turned to the girl. "This is beyond your, as well as my own skill. We must flee! Run!"
As they leapt and began running once again, a deadly roar pierced the city, shaking the pillars and scaring away the small amount of goblins and Orcs Buffy noticed while they were down there. As they came closer to the opening of what appeared to be more stairs, it became intensely brighter and the path was much more clearer. Buffy was glad.
As they came upon the clearing, Buffy, in the lead with Boromir, nearly fell over a cliff if it wasn't for Legolas and Aragorn pulling them back. Buffy fell on top of the Ranger, and even though this was the closest thing affectionate that had come to her all this time journeying, she wanted to get up and start running again.
So quickly they got to their feet, and with that they began running, Aragorn and Gandalf far behind them. But Gandalf caught up with the fast feet of the younger group, and Buffy felt herself begin to falter. She fell in line with Gandalf, the stairs beginning to thin out before her. If it wasn't for Gandalf's struggling hand, she would have fell. He nudged her forwards, but when he didn't follow her, she turned on him questionably.
"Go!" He demanded hoarsely.
"I'll go when you go." She snapped back.
The wizard groaned. "You are a very difficult woman, do you know that? Just go! I will catch up with you shortly, Slayer, for my legs are weary and old." When Buffy didn't move, he continued, more pleading. "Please Buffy, for Earth's sake, continue on. You know this is not helpful, we cannot fight off this demon! YOU cannot fight off this fire breathing demon."
"I dealt with a 100,000 pound snake, I can handle this." She answered.
"This is not earth Buffy, this is Middle- earth. Things are different! Please." He added more hastily.
Finally, Buffy nodded and turned, rather hesitantly, towards the others. The stairs, somehow, had parted and they began to throw people on the other side. When Buffy was last thrown, Frodo and Aragorn were left standing in the center of the staircase, it being parted by the other half and wobbling in mid air. The slightest move would make it tumble down into the dark pits of the caves, but luckily Aragorn used his wits. The Hobbit and Man had reached the other side by balance and they trotted down the remainder of stairs. The Buffyship, which Buffy declared whilst the running, turned a corner sharply and came upon a bridge. It became much more warmer here and took the breath out of everyone.
Even Legolas seemed tired.
But the heat was strangely close and she turned her head around to see the exact demon come forth. His face was definitely demon looking, horns and a mean dog looking face. It must have been fifty feet tall, standing in all flames and black ash spluttered from its orange dancers, glinting off the different shades of the tired skin of the Fellow… Buffyship.
Its face was not the thing that frightened Buffy, but the bridge they had to cross. It was so narrow and thin that it was hard not to look down, which Boromir had suggested for the Hobbits. Right, don't look down. Buffy silently said. Like I haven't hear THAT before. But she managed and crossed the long bridge of Kazad- Dum. Buffy went to congratulate everyone, but the foolish grin on her face vanished when she saw Gandalf, center of the bridge, stand under the demon.
"You shall NOT PASS!" He bellowed, slamming his wizard stick into the bridge.
"What's he doing!" Buffy cried, just as Frodo shouted out the wizard's name.
Buffy made to run after him, but it seemed like he had everything under control. Sighing with relief, she watched with held breath as the demon fell down into the bottomless pit of the caves, soon forgotten from sight. Buffy smiled thankfully, and wiped off the sweat from her face. She threw off Aragorn's hands and went towards the wizard to congratulate him, but something was amiss. Her eyes caught them with Gandalf's grave, wide gaze, and suddenly the whip of the Balrog shot high into the air and aimed for Gandalf, but instead it got hold of Buffy. She fell back against the hard rocks and ashes. Legolas cried out then, and seized the woman before it began to drag her down. Gandalf ran to her aid, but the whip loosened and fired back at Gandalf, dragging him down the bridge until he grasped the edge fiercely.
Shocked and in total agony from the burn on her ankle and upper thigh, she looked at the wizard in horror.
Legolas tried pulling her back, but she wanted to help the wizard.
"GANDALF!" Frodo cried among the rattling of Orcs somewhere around the caves, hidden and firing arrows.
Gandalf gaze was intense as he watched her. She could read his mind then, and she knew what he meant to do, and what he expected from her. With a pull from Legolas, she allowed him to drag her up when Gandalf replied.
"Fly, you fools!" Was the wizard's last words before he let go, falling down into the darkness.
"NO!" Both Buffy and the Hobbits cried, and Buffy regretted ever moving and made to go back to him.
"We gotta help him, Legolas!" She wailed, thrashing in his arms. "Maybe he got stuck on a branch or something, like in the cartoons!"
"You are speaking nonsense." Legolas hissed, throwing Buffy down onto the snow.
She realized now that they were outside in the cold, a very large difference than the warm climate in Moria. But, as her hands sunk deep into the snow, she felt hot and strangely roused. Anger, sadness, and oh so overwhelming sadness was the only thing she felt at that moment. The Mines and the mission was now forgotten, and everything was a gray blur. Gandalf… Gandalf has died.
The Buffyship, which felt so loss without their leader, broke down onto the side of the mountain in tears. Buffy crawled away, tear stained and still so hot. Her back leaned against a pointy rock, but neither that or the numbness in her body distracted her from her thoughts. Gandalf has died.
She covered her hands over her face and wailed.
Gandalf has died.
And her guide home is long gone. Just like Gandalf.
Gandalf has died. Just like her mother.
As she sobbed and wailed, she felt someone come pass her. Ready to scoff off the aggravating Elf or the dimwitted Man, she noticed that it was neither. As Frodo passed her, his eyes were looking down at her gravely, and she noticed a touch in their depths that was hard to understand. He was accusing her? The heavy pull of the Hobbit's walk had dragged her in, and she stood and ran after him.
"You think I did this?" She asked angrily. "You think I wanted to kill him and stop my only guide HOME?!"
The Hobbit stopped and turned to her, his eyes watering up but a tear never fell.
"You-" He tried, but the tears finally came down and it was waterworks all over again.
Take it.
"I don't need this from you Frodo, I know what you were thinking just then." She shouted, and everyone stood by watching. "And… and… and I never meant to come on the journey! I regret it all! I hate this fucking place! I hate it!"
"Buffy!" Aragorn shouted, drawing her away from the Hobbit for a moment.
Take it!
Buffy's eyes darted around accusingly, wet and oddly dark. "You… you all think like this, don't you?"
"Stop acting like this. None of us accuse anyone of Gandalf's death, but we must move on!"
Buffy turned back to the Hobbit, fists clenched at her sides.
Take it I DEMAND you!
Buffy saw it then, hanging around his neck on a perfect silver chain, and the lining of the Ring indented under his blouse. It was so perfect. The Ring. The One Ring. She hadn't really been this close to it before, but it was worth the wait. Shining under the heavy sun above, it called out to her. Like the voice.
So close to touch. Almost there…
"Almost… so close…" Buffy whispered.
"Come, Buffy." Gimli grunted, and she was pulled back from the reverie.
Frodo was watching her calmly, and his tears had stopped.
Realizing what she was about to do, she apologized, touching her hot face with her cold hands.
But Frodo looked bored, almost wanting her to take it; silently pleading her with his sad, blue eyes. And as tempting as the offer was, she wouldn't. When Frodo moved aside she did too, and they both caught up with the others side by side. Even from the grief of Gandalf's death they all trotted along, knowing that these hills would be swarming with Orcs as soon as the sun had set. They were stronger under no light. But Buffy felt tired as ever and all she wanted was to be in a nice warm bed, under the covers and getting served breakfast in bed by Joyce Summers.
She smiled sadly and the image of that exact memory comforted her throughout their way to Lothlorien.
Chapter fourteen
Tell me, Buffy, why ever would you want to return to Sunnydale? You are better off where you are!
"Leave me alone." Buffy said, running faster with the others. She had a hard time keeping up.
But I can't leave you alone Buffy. You aren't exactly the leave alone type. Sorry, but that is how it is.
"I'm going to show you how it is, if you don't shut up." She answered angrily.
The voice sighed. You're the Slayer, and you're forever going to annoy us demons. Just face it, you're doomed forever.
"Unless what?" Buffy asked, finding the urge to mock this strange voice in her head. But that would make matters worse.
The voice now laughed, despite Buffy's tired legs and long miles of running. Unless you stop doing what you're doing.
Buffy's legs faltered and she realized that they came to a stop. They were still inside the heart of the city, but there was an opening some way down. Then realizing what the voice had said, she took a whiff of air and said breathlessly,
"Never."
Pippin looked up at her strangely, but knew better than to question her. He learnt his lesson, big time.
"Gandalf, why had we stopped?" Frodo asked, still panting from the long run.
Behind her, Buffy felt Legolas move her aside and breathe in a deep air, a scowl plastering his face soon after. Following his eyes, she noticed way beyond the chamber and where they entered upon the city, was a bright red light, tinting the halls down yonder with a orange and yellow color. From way over to where they where, Buffyship felt the immense heat constricting from the obvious flames. Legolas' hand gripped the belt of the strap from his bow and looked alarmed.
"Well?" Everyone urged from the wizard. All except Legolas.
"If it from my knowledge, or may my eyes be deceiving me, that that is the Balrog."
Catalog? Buffy thought.
"Balrog." Murmured the others.
"A fire demon?" She asked. The wizard and Elf nodded. "Oh no. I know about these guys, they're really huge and mean looking. The kind you find in the scary movies and the intense novels that these sick, morbid people write about."
Silence, when at long last Aragorn spoke.
"You know of this demon as well?" He didn't sound surprised, and Buffy was glad someone had no doubt in her.
"Yeah, it's really ancient. Giles told me about it a long, long time ago, maybe when I was ending high school or something. But anyway, it's old and really cryptic. I saw a quick picture of it once, but it was really blurry. And Xander made this really funny joke to it…" She trailed off laughing, despite the look of horror she left on the male's faces.
Boromir shook his head slowly. "Are you kidding us?"
"No," Buffy choked out, and waved her hand in the air. "It started with great balls of fire, and-"
"ENOUGH!" The Hobbits, as well as Aragorn and Legolas, shouted.
Boromir and Buffy pouted, but said no more. Gandalf looked back to the light coming ever so closely, a grim and unreadable expression in his blue eyes. No one dared question him, and when he took a step back so did everyone else. Buffy and Merry stumbled over each other, but she shoved him off and caught up with Gandalf.
"Why are we backing up?" She questioned, finding it hard to speak and walk backwards at the same time.
"The demon of the underworld shan't, and can't, be stricken with." He replied gravely, and turned to the girl. "This is beyond your, as well as my own skill. We must flee! Run!"
As they leapt and began running once again, a deadly roar pierced the city, shaking the pillars and scaring away the small amount of goblins and Orcs Buffy noticed while they were down there. As they came closer to the opening of what appeared to be more stairs, it became intensely brighter and the path was much more clearer. Buffy was glad.
As they came upon the clearing, Buffy, in the lead with Boromir, nearly fell over a cliff if it wasn't for Legolas and Aragorn pulling them back. Buffy fell on top of the Ranger, and even though this was the closest thing affectionate that had come to her all this time journeying, she wanted to get up and start running again.
So quickly they got to their feet, and with that they began running, Aragorn and Gandalf far behind them. But Gandalf caught up with the fast feet of the younger group, and Buffy felt herself begin to falter. She fell in line with Gandalf, the stairs beginning to thin out before her. If it wasn't for Gandalf's struggling hand, she would have fell. He nudged her forwards, but when he didn't follow her, she turned on him questionably.
"Go!" He demanded hoarsely.
"I'll go when you go." She snapped back.
The wizard groaned. "You are a very difficult woman, do you know that? Just go! I will catch up with you shortly, Slayer, for my legs are weary and old." When Buffy didn't move, he continued, more pleading. "Please Buffy, for Earth's sake, continue on. You know this is not helpful, we cannot fight off this demon! YOU cannot fight off this fire breathing demon."
"I dealt with a 100,000 pound snake, I can handle this." She answered.
"This is not earth Buffy, this is Middle- earth. Things are different! Please." He added more hastily.
Finally, Buffy nodded and turned, rather hesitantly, towards the others. The stairs, somehow, had parted and they began to throw people on the other side. When Buffy was last thrown, Frodo and Aragorn were left standing in the center of the staircase, it being parted by the other half and wobbling in mid air. The slightest move would make it tumble down into the dark pits of the caves, but luckily Aragorn used his wits. The Hobbit and Man had reached the other side by balance and they trotted down the remainder of stairs. The Buffyship, which Buffy declared whilst the running, turned a corner sharply and came upon a bridge. It became much more warmer here and took the breath out of everyone.
Even Legolas seemed tired.
But the heat was strangely close and she turned her head around to see the exact demon come forth. His face was definitely demon looking, horns and a mean dog looking face. It must have been fifty feet tall, standing in all flames and black ash spluttered from its orange dancers, glinting off the different shades of the tired skin of the Fellow… Buffyship.
Its face was not the thing that frightened Buffy, but the bridge they had to cross. It was so narrow and thin that it was hard not to look down, which Boromir had suggested for the Hobbits. Right, don't look down. Buffy silently said. Like I haven't hear THAT before. But she managed and crossed the long bridge of Kazad- Dum. Buffy went to congratulate everyone, but the foolish grin on her face vanished when she saw Gandalf, center of the bridge, stand under the demon.
"You shall NOT PASS!" He bellowed, slamming his wizard stick into the bridge.
"What's he doing!" Buffy cried, just as Frodo shouted out the wizard's name.
Buffy made to run after him, but it seemed like he had everything under control. Sighing with relief, she watched with held breath as the demon fell down into the bottomless pit of the caves, soon forgotten from sight. Buffy smiled thankfully, and wiped off the sweat from her face. She threw off Aragorn's hands and went towards the wizard to congratulate him, but something was amiss. Her eyes caught them with Gandalf's grave, wide gaze, and suddenly the whip of the Balrog shot high into the air and aimed for Gandalf, but instead it got hold of Buffy. She fell back against the hard rocks and ashes. Legolas cried out then, and seized the woman before it began to drag her down. Gandalf ran to her aid, but the whip loosened and fired back at Gandalf, dragging him down the bridge until he grasped the edge fiercely.
Shocked and in total agony from the burn on her ankle and upper thigh, she looked at the wizard in horror.
Legolas tried pulling her back, but she wanted to help the wizard.
"GANDALF!" Frodo cried among the rattling of Orcs somewhere around the caves, hidden and firing arrows.
Gandalf gaze was intense as he watched her. She could read his mind then, and she knew what he meant to do, and what he expected from her. With a pull from Legolas, she allowed him to drag her up when Gandalf replied.
"Fly, you fools!" Was the wizard's last words before he let go, falling down into the darkness.
"NO!" Both Buffy and the Hobbits cried, and Buffy regretted ever moving and made to go back to him.
"We gotta help him, Legolas!" She wailed, thrashing in his arms. "Maybe he got stuck on a branch or something, like in the cartoons!"
"You are speaking nonsense." Legolas hissed, throwing Buffy down onto the snow.
She realized now that they were outside in the cold, a very large difference than the warm climate in Moria. But, as her hands sunk deep into the snow, she felt hot and strangely roused. Anger, sadness, and oh so overwhelming sadness was the only thing she felt at that moment. The Mines and the mission was now forgotten, and everything was a gray blur. Gandalf… Gandalf has died.
The Buffyship, which felt so loss without their leader, broke down onto the side of the mountain in tears. Buffy crawled away, tear stained and still so hot. Her back leaned against a pointy rock, but neither that or the numbness in her body distracted her from her thoughts. Gandalf has died.
She covered her hands over her face and wailed.
Gandalf has died.
And her guide home is long gone. Just like Gandalf.
Gandalf has died. Just like her mother.
As she sobbed and wailed, she felt someone come pass her. Ready to scoff off the aggravating Elf or the dimwitted Man, she noticed that it was neither. As Frodo passed her, his eyes were looking down at her gravely, and she noticed a touch in their depths that was hard to understand. He was accusing her? The heavy pull of the Hobbit's walk had dragged her in, and she stood and ran after him.
"You think I did this?" She asked angrily. "You think I wanted to kill him and stop my only guide HOME?!"
The Hobbit stopped and turned to her, his eyes watering up but a tear never fell.
"You-" He tried, but the tears finally came down and it was waterworks all over again.
Take it.
"I don't need this from you Frodo, I know what you were thinking just then." She shouted, and everyone stood by watching. "And… and… and I never meant to come on the journey! I regret it all! I hate this fucking place! I hate it!"
"Buffy!" Aragorn shouted, drawing her away from the Hobbit for a moment.
Take it!
Buffy's eyes darted around accusingly, wet and oddly dark. "You… you all think like this, don't you?"
"Stop acting like this. None of us accuse anyone of Gandalf's death, but we must move on!"
Buffy turned back to the Hobbit, fists clenched at her sides.
Take it I DEMAND you!
Buffy saw it then, hanging around his neck on a perfect silver chain, and the lining of the Ring indented under his blouse. It was so perfect. The Ring. The One Ring. She hadn't really been this close to it before, but it was worth the wait. Shining under the heavy sun above, it called out to her. Like the voice.
So close to touch. Almost there…
"Almost… so close…" Buffy whispered.
"Come, Buffy." Gimli grunted, and she was pulled back from the reverie.
Frodo was watching her calmly, and his tears had stopped.
Realizing what she was about to do, she apologized, touching her hot face with her cold hands.
But Frodo looked bored, almost wanting her to take it; silently pleading her with his sad, blue eyes. And as tempting as the offer was, she wouldn't. When Frodo moved aside she did too, and they both caught up with the others side by side. Even from the grief of Gandalf's death they all trotted along, knowing that these hills would be swarming with Orcs as soon as the sun had set. They were stronger under no light. But Buffy felt tired as ever and all she wanted was to be in a nice warm bed, under the covers and getting served breakfast in bed by Joyce Summers.
She smiled sadly and the image of that exact memory comforted her throughout their way to Lothlorien.