The next two weeks, Adam's mom was glad to see him up and about, in and out of the house. He started to look healthy again. Color had returned to his skin, he even was beginning to put on some weight. He wasn't looking so bony anymore.
"Hey Mom, dinner?" Adam came through the back door into the kitchen, and headed straight for the garage door, to drop off his hockey gear. Him and Charlie had been spending whatever time they spent together, at the rink, practicing. After telling his dad about how he played a game with no pain, his dad made some phone calls, and the scouts were coming to check him out in about two weeks.
"Did you practice with Charlie at all today?" his mom asked, ignoring his question.
"Yea, but he left early, so I hung out at the rink for an extra few hours. Just did laps and basic drills," Adam searched the refrigerator for a drink, he settled on water, "Why?" he dumped the contents into his mouth, and swallowed it greedily.
"Because he's upstairs in your room."
"Why?"
"I don't know. He came over about an hour ago, asked if you were here, and when I said you weren't, he said he'd wait in your room."
"Oh," Adam headed for the stairs.
"Adam," his mom's voice pulled him back.
"Yea?"
"Sweetheart," she walked over to him and straightened his shirt, and patted down his sweaty hair.
He smiled bashfully.
"Don't let yourself get hurt again," she said softly, kissing his forehead.
"Thanks Mom," he grinned, and leaped up the stairs.
"Hey!" Adam said his hello to his friend, sitting on his bed.
"Adam, I can't do this."
"Do what?" Adam was at his dresser, searching for clothes. He was going to hang out with Jesse and Terry and he still needed to shower.
"Be friends with you."
Adam looked at Charlie, and noticed that his eyes were red. He'd been crying. He leaned against his dresser, letting him finish.
"I just, it's too hard. It's too hard for me to be around you when I all I want is to wrap my arms around you, and have things be like they used to."
"We're not 16 anymore," Adam whispered.
"I know. And I know you're with Guy and all, or at least on a hiatus, or something."
Adam moved to sit on the bed, "I don't know how I feel about Guy right now. I mean, I know how I feel, but I don't know how he feels, and that's messing me up. He said it doesn't feel right. I just want one night with him and see what doesn't feel right," he said quietly.
Charlie, sitting Indian style a mere foot from him, nodded.
"Have you talked to him since he left?"
"No," Adam's eyes began to tear.
Charlie pulled Adam into a hug. It had been so long since he held Adam, and he mentally kicked himself for ever letting him go. Gosh, he was crazy then. What had he been thinking?
Adam leaned into the hug, wrapping his arms around Charlie. It wasn't so much that it was Charlie, just that it was comfort. Adam hadn't felt comfort like this since Guy, and that was almost a month and a half ago. It didn't feel anything close to what Guy's hugs felt like, but it was all he was getting.
"It's alright," Charlie patted Adam's hair, kissing the top of his head.
Adam looked up at Charlie, and pressed his lips to his. He just wanted to feel loved.
He drew back, however, just as abruptly as he had leaned in. It didn't feel right. It was all wrong, he didn't feel loved. But Charlie pulled him close, melting their lips together, once last time.
Adam pulled away more forcefully when he heard a gasp come from the open door. Guy stood, hurt written across his face.
His luggage was at his feet.
Guy shook his head and started off down the hall.
Adam jumped off the bed just as quickly and chased after him, spitting out a "Fuck you Charlie."
Adam caught up with Guy. His training had gotten his speed back, and before he knew it, he nearly tackled Guy on his front lawn.
"Guy," Adam said, begging him to stop, and look at him.
"I just wanted to say I was sorry," Guy started, speaking quickly to keep his tears at bay, "When I was gone, I realized that I needed you. I couldn't focus without you. I came back early. Maybe not as early as I should've, but I got back as soon as I could."
"I need you just as much Guy."
Guy almost laughed in his face, "Sure looked like you needed Charlie right then."
"It's not what you think. Charlie and I sort of made up, at Goldberg's Memorial Day Block Party. He's been helping me with hockey," Adam said, his voice breaking, "I kissed him because I missed you. I know that sounds horrible, but I missed the comfort of you. I missed being held in someone's arms. And I don't know what, I felt like, if I kissed him, it would be like kissing you, that I'd get the same feeling. But I was so wrong, it was horrible, and I pulled away as quickly as I could. But he pulled me back, he kissed me, and that's when I saw you."
"He wants you back."
"But I want you. He can't have me, he can't have my heart, when I don't have it to give."
"I'm messed up Adam. I'm fucked up, I can't close my eyes without seeing Connie, but then when I sleep, all I dream about is you."
Adam stepped forward, and put his arm on Guy's arm, testing to see if he would pull away. Adam tingled in his fingertips, and Guy shivered in the warm June air. Both had forgotten each other's touch.
"Connie is your past Guy - let me be your future," Adam whispered, closing the gap between them, and enveloping him into his arms.
Guy nuzzled his head into Adam's shoulder, breathing him in. He had forgotten what it was like to be so close to him. Really though, it had only been a few weeks. Who forgets that much in such a short time?
Adam held onto him tight, he wasn't about to risk losing Guy again.
"Adam!! PHONE!!!" his mom yelled from inside the house.
He rolled his eyes, and pulled back, his hands sliding down Guy's shoulder, and resting on his wrists.
"Let's go insi-" he started, but quickly stopped himself.
His fingertips were not feeling the bone of Guy's wrists underneath the sleeves of the long sleeved shirt, but padding of some sort.
His fingers quickly pushed up the sleeves on both arms, and his breath caught in his throat.
Two white bandages circled Guy's wrists, looking almost like the popular wrist cuffs. But the gauze, with little red spots, was far from a fashion statement.
Adam stared Guy's wrists.
Guy stared at his own wrists as well. He flinched when Adam ran his forefinger over one of the bandages.
Adam looked up at Guy's forehead, "Guy?" his voice was full of pain and sorrow.
How could he do something like this?
Guy finally looked up.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I don't know what happened."
"This doesn't just happen," Adam was hurt, "Why didn't you call me? Tell me?"
"I didn't want you to find out."
"Why?"
"I'm sorry! I couldn't take it," Guy's knees gave out, and he started falling towards the ground.
Adam reacted quickly, not letting Guy go.
"The voices, the faces," Guy cried, "Her voice, her face, it was everywhere."
Adam stayed silent, but held onto him.
"It made it not hurt," Guy was reduced to nothing but a whisper.
Adam nodded pretending to know what Guy meant, and slowly steered Guy toward the house.
"No, no," Guy grumbled, digging his heels into the ground.
"Please Guy," he begged.
Guy shook his head, very much like a five year old who didn't want to pick up his toys.
"Why not?"
"Charlie."
"What about him? He's leaving," Adam promised.
"No."
Adam couldn't take this, and scooped Guy up into his arms. He had definitely lost weight, and Adam was concerned with how easily he could pick him up.
"Adam? Dear?" his mom asked, standing in the doorway to the foyer.
He shook his head, and continued upstairs.
He knew Charlie was still in his room, and so he went for the nearest guest room.
He gently laid him down, and pulled the comforter from underneath, tucking him in.
He sat on the edge of the bed, sweeping his palm across Guy's forehead.
Guy captured Adam's moving hand, and held it to his chest, "Don't leave me," he was scared.
"I'm not going anywhere," he promised, curling up next to him.