His arms stretched high above his head. His eyes shot open as his bottom hit the floor with a loud thump. He feared he had awoken Guy, but was relieved to find him still sleeping. He took a moment to orient himself and after locating a clock, picked himself up off the ground, and headed for the door.
"Hey son," his dad greeted, as Adam stumbled into the kitchen.
"Sweetie, Jesse called, I let him know that you weren't going out tonight, and that Guy had come back," his mom spoke from the kitchen table.
"Thanks Mom," Adam sat at the table, dropping his head to his rest on his folded arms, "Did Charlie leave?"
"Yea, right after you went upstairs. He looked upset," his dad offered.
"I don't care if he was upset or not, just as long as he's gone," Adam lifted his head, spoke his piece, and then promptly laid it back down.
"Are you hungry? I could whip you up something for dinner," his mom tried to change the subject.
"No thanks Mom, I'm just a bit tired."
His mom shrugged, and put her book down. His father did the same.
"Adam?"
He mumbled a response.
"Why did you carry Guy in here? Can I ask what happened?" his father was soft and gentle.
Adam looked up into the face of his mother and father, and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure if this was something Guy wanted to share with the others, seeing as he obviously hadn't even shared it with Adam.
"He wasn't feeling well, that's all," Adam lied.
His mother raised an eyebrow, and his father picked up the paper again.
Adam didn't care if they believed him or not. He rose slowly from the table and shuffled to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water. He drank it quickly and tossed the bottle into the garbage on his way out of the kitchen.
He stood in the doorway of the guest room, the light spilling in from the hallway behind him.
Guy was sleeping like a baby, his breathing even and calm, on his stomach, one arm tucked beneath him, and the other resting above his head. Even from the doorway, Adam could see his lips were parted in a slight smile.
He didn't know how long he'd been standing there, or how long Guy had been watching him.
"Adam?" Guy called. His voice was shy and timid, and Adam couldn't remember a time where Guy had ever sounded like that.
He stepped into the room, and sat on the edge of the bed. Suddenly, he was scared to touch him.
"You don't," Guy started softly, "Think less of me, or anything, do you?"
Adam looked down at him, as he stared up with a set of hazel eyes that shone bright, even in the darkness.
The stillness of the room was deafening, and the black of the night felt like it was crushing him.
"No Guy, I don't," Adam whispered.
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you."
"Stop apologizing."
"I knew I couldn't face you. That you would think I was weak. That I couldn't handle it."
"Shush," Adam palmed Guy's cheek.
"I wanted to show you I was okay. I was planning to come back from L.A. a different, a stronger person," Guy continued, unfazed.
Adam didn't know what else to do, so he just listened.
"I needed to stop the pain, I needed to stop feeling so closed in. I missed Connie, and I wanted to be with her."
Adam closed his eyes in pain.
"I felt like you didn't want me anymore. That I had fucked everything up, and that it was over between us, and it killed me."
Adam fought to keep the tears from sliding out beneath his eyelids.
"I love you Adam, and I'm so thankful Russ found me. Because I need you. I've always needed you," Guy's voice was shaky.
And suddenly, Adam wanted to see. He wanted to see these cuts, that had not only cut into Guy's soul, but his own as well.
He reached for the bedside light, and clicked it on low. Guy watched as Adam slowly took his wrist and pushed aside the bandage.
Guy turned away.
He had yet to see the wounds himself.
Adam let out a painful weep. The wrist was red, and dried blood was caked onto the skin. It looked as if Guy had been scratching at his wrists. He could see the stitches and he brushed the pad of his ring finger over them delicately. Adam placed that hand down slowly, and reached for the other one, doing the same. The wound on his right wrist, wasn't as straight and pointed as the one on his left. This one was ragged and crooked, Guy obviously not a lefty.
Adam dropped the hand quickly, noticing fresh blood seeping from stitched wound.
"Shit," he cursed to himself, rushing to the bathroom. He ran a washcloth under luke warm water, wrung it out quickly, and returned to press it against Guy's wrist.
Guy looked up at Adam, and smiled.
Adam was his angel, his savior, his everything.
"Hold this here," he said softly to Guy, and he obliged, moving his good hand to hold the damp cloth to his bad one.
"Hold it above your heart," Adam instructed, as he stood, leaving the room once again.
He returned moments later with a first aid kit, and wordlessly, wrapped Guy's wrists up again.
"I'm-" Guy started.
"Sorry," Adam finished, "I know. It's okay. You don't need to apologize anymore," he taped up the second bandage.
Guy looked down, and mumbled a "thank you."
Adam stopped putting the stuff away, and grazed Guy's cheek with his fingers, "Anytime baby."
Guy gave a half-hearted smile, and looked at Adam's handiwork. He was good at wrapping up wrists, and in the back of his mind, he told himself it was because he had a lot of practice on himself. Adam had spent most of his high school years wrapping up his right wrist in ace bandages and sports tape.
"You haven't talked to your parents yet, have you," Adam stated, fully aware of the truth.
Guy shook his head.
"Do you want me to call them and tell them you're here?"
"Not yet. I want to spend time with you, alone."
Adam bit his lip and nodded. Guy's parents needed to know he was back in Minnesota, so Adam made a mental note to call them in the morning.
Guy moved over, and motioned for Adam to come in.
He clambered into the bed and Guy latched onto him quickly.
"Why?" Adam whispered, stroking Guy's hair.
"It wasn't suicide," Guy sat up, searching Adam's eyes. Only, he didn't know what he was looking for.
Adam's eyes clouded with uncertainty.
Guy saw it.
"It wasn't! Adam, it wasn't," his eyes began to well up.
Adam looked away. He couldn't believe him when he said it wasn't attempted suicide. Who slashes their wrists like that without wanting to die?
"Please, you've gotta believe me," Guy stretched his arm, his fingers grazing Adam's warm cheek, "I swear. I don't want to leave you. I could never. I need you. I need you to believe me."
Adam turned, his face now cupped by Guy's palm. Never, in three years, did Guy, in a moment of weakness, admit that he needed Adam. Guy was constantly reminding Adam that he loved him and that he would do anything, but for him to break down and admit that maybe he needed Adam just as much as Adam needed him, it was all new.
"I just wanted to forget. I was sick of seeing Connie every time I closed my eyes. I was sick of hearing her voice whenever I was sitting in quiet. It helped, it did. But now that I'm here with you. I haven't seen her," Guy's voice was quick and nervous, "I haven't!!"
Adam vaguely wondered who he was trying to convince. He wanted to believe him, he did.
"Honestly Adam, I'll give you the number of the psychologist that evaluated me in the hospital. I talked about you, not her. Adam, please, don't shut me out," Guy's tears were steadily streaming down his cheek, "Don't do this to me again, I can't take it."
Adam's eyes changed from the uncertainty to heartbreak. He wiped at Guy's tears with his thumb, and attempted to change the subject.
"You know, when you cry," Adam chuckled through his own tears, "Your eyes crinkle, and your cheeks flush," he wiped more away, "And you look incredibly hot."
Guy smiled, "Don't change the subject. Adam, I need your acceptance, I need to know that you're okay with what happened." There was a time where Guy gave into the distractions that Adam provided. Very few times, did Guy put his foot down, and demand he stop changing the subject.
Adam let his fingers lightly play over Guy's wrapped wrists.
"I need time."
Guy's face immediately lost all its color, turning an unhealthy shade of clear.
"NO! I don't mean it like that," Adam rushed to explain himself, "I just need time to accept it. But this time, we're gonna spend it together. Because I need you too," Adam's voice had dropped to a whisper.
Guy dropped his head and let his forehead rest on Adam's lips, as the color slowly returned to his face.
He puckered up to leave a light kiss on the pale skin, and he encircled Guy in his arms.
"I love you Adam."
"I love you too Guy. I love you too."