(ESTABLISHING SHOT: McCorkle Hotel)
(Cut to the interior. RON sits on a bed, trying to figure out how to use his palm pilot. JILL types on a laptop on a table)
RON: You people move so fast, how am I supposed to keep track of what you do?
JILL: That's what you've got to figure out.
RON: Awe, man.
(RON looks a the palm pilot for a few more moments, then puts it aside and walks up behind JILL)
RON: So, whatcha writing?
JILL: Articles for the underground newspaper.
RON: Oh. (Beat) Wait, what underground newspaper?
JILL: The one I'm starting when we get back to school.
RON: Just out of curiosity, why are you starting an underground newspaper?
JILL: Why not. Besides, it'll give me a chance to just write whatever I want.
RON: And what do you want to write.
JILL: Articles that are pointless or funny.
RON: I see. Such as?
JILL: Take this one for example: Cafeteria Declared a Level Five Biohazard Zone. "Sources reported Monday that the Middleton High Cafeteria has been declared a level five biohazard zone by state health officials. 'After taking samples back to the lab, we found several traces of aluminum and chlorine,' stated health inspector Sidney Down. 'We have been left with no choice but to close off the area and begin a full inspection.'"
RON: Harsh. Cafeteria Lady's bad, but not that bad.
JILL: Remember, Ron, these are goofs. No one's going to take them seriously. That is, if anyone actually reads it. Now, let's see... (types) "Algebra: Cruel and Unusual Punishment?..."
RON: I wonder what's on TV.
JILL: Doesn't really matter. We leave in about ten minutes for the game.
(RON turns on the TV. Casablanca is on, somewhere near the end)
(Cut to MONKEY FIST and his MONKEY NINJAS. They are at a payphone. MONKEY FIST flips through a phone book)
MONKEY FIST: Stoff...Stolmen...Stoppable!
(MONKEY FIST puts a quarter into the phone and dials)
(Scene turns into a split screen. MRS. STOPPABLE picks up the phone on her side)
MRS. STOPPABLE: Hello?
MONKEY FIST: Hello, is the monkey hater- erm, ugh, I mean, Ron Stoppable home?
MRS. STOPPABLE: Who's asking?
MONKEY FIST: Um, this is his biology teacher... Mr. Darwin. He has some science homework that he forgot to turn in and I was hoping to catch him.
MRS. STOPPABLE: Nope. Sorry, Mr. Darwin. He's gone at Schooley High School with the hockey team.
MONKEY FIST: Hockey team?
MRS. STOPPABLE: Yes, he's the manager. I'm so proud of him.
MONKEY FIST: Oh, well, thank you.
(MONKEY FIST hangs up. MRS. STOPPABLE's portion of the screen disappears)
MONKEY FIST: Well then. Schooley High it is.
(Cut to the TV screen. The famous last line is uttered and the words "The End" appear on the screen. The TV is turned off. Camera pulls back to reveal that this is a different TV)
(Cut to KIM. She puts the remote down)
KIM: Bored, bored, bored. Where's Ron when you need him?
(The Kimmunicator beeps. KIM grabs it eagerly)
KIM: Hey, Wade! Psycho villain up to something?
WADE: Sorry, Kim. Everything's quiet.
KIM: Oh well. So, what'd you beep me for?
WADE: Though you might like to watch Middleton play their first away game.
KIM: They don't televise that, do they?
WADE: Nope, but I can hack into their security cameras.
KIM: Cool. Put it up.
(WADE types and a hockey rink appears on the screen)
(Cut to the Schooley High Hockey Rink. The teams are lined up. The game is about to start. RON sits on the bench with the palm pilot)
RON: Let's hope I can figure out how to work this thing in, like, ten seconds.
(Cut to the ice. The hockey puck drops. JILL wrestles it away from the other player and skates towards the other team's goal. She passes it to another player, who passes it to another player, who loops around the goal and sneaks the puck in)
RON: Okay, I got as far as that first pass.
(Cut to the ice. The two teams line up again. The other player struggles with JILL for a bit before getting the puck away and skating down to the other end. One of the Middleton Players skates near her and swats the puck away. It hits a nearby wall, where another Middleton Player picks it up. She speeds down the ice and is checked into the boards by a Schooley Player. The Schooley Player skates towards the Middleton goal, does some impressive puck work and scores)
(Cut to RON. He looks at the ice, then at the palm pilot. He tosses the palm pilot aside)
RON: I give up. (Shouting) Go Mad Dogs!
(The COACH hands RON the palm pilot)
COACH: Ron, you dropped this.
RON: Oh, um, thanks.
(RON takes back the palm pilot)
RON: This is going to be a long game.
(Cut to the interior. RON sits on a bed, trying to figure out how to use his palm pilot. JILL types on a laptop on a table)
RON: You people move so fast, how am I supposed to keep track of what you do?
JILL: That's what you've got to figure out.
RON: Awe, man.
(RON looks a the palm pilot for a few more moments, then puts it aside and walks up behind JILL)
RON: So, whatcha writing?
JILL: Articles for the underground newspaper.
RON: Oh. (Beat) Wait, what underground newspaper?
JILL: The one I'm starting when we get back to school.
RON: Just out of curiosity, why are you starting an underground newspaper?
JILL: Why not. Besides, it'll give me a chance to just write whatever I want.
RON: And what do you want to write.
JILL: Articles that are pointless or funny.
RON: I see. Such as?
JILL: Take this one for example: Cafeteria Declared a Level Five Biohazard Zone. "Sources reported Monday that the Middleton High Cafeteria has been declared a level five biohazard zone by state health officials. 'After taking samples back to the lab, we found several traces of aluminum and chlorine,' stated health inspector Sidney Down. 'We have been left with no choice but to close off the area and begin a full inspection.'"
RON: Harsh. Cafeteria Lady's bad, but not that bad.
JILL: Remember, Ron, these are goofs. No one's going to take them seriously. That is, if anyone actually reads it. Now, let's see... (types) "Algebra: Cruel and Unusual Punishment?..."
RON: I wonder what's on TV.
JILL: Doesn't really matter. We leave in about ten minutes for the game.
(RON turns on the TV. Casablanca is on, somewhere near the end)
(Cut to MONKEY FIST and his MONKEY NINJAS. They are at a payphone. MONKEY FIST flips through a phone book)
MONKEY FIST: Stoff...Stolmen...Stoppable!
(MONKEY FIST puts a quarter into the phone and dials)
(Scene turns into a split screen. MRS. STOPPABLE picks up the phone on her side)
MRS. STOPPABLE: Hello?
MONKEY FIST: Hello, is the monkey hater- erm, ugh, I mean, Ron Stoppable home?
MRS. STOPPABLE: Who's asking?
MONKEY FIST: Um, this is his biology teacher... Mr. Darwin. He has some science homework that he forgot to turn in and I was hoping to catch him.
MRS. STOPPABLE: Nope. Sorry, Mr. Darwin. He's gone at Schooley High School with the hockey team.
MONKEY FIST: Hockey team?
MRS. STOPPABLE: Yes, he's the manager. I'm so proud of him.
MONKEY FIST: Oh, well, thank you.
(MONKEY FIST hangs up. MRS. STOPPABLE's portion of the screen disappears)
MONKEY FIST: Well then. Schooley High it is.
(Cut to the TV screen. The famous last line is uttered and the words "The End" appear on the screen. The TV is turned off. Camera pulls back to reveal that this is a different TV)
(Cut to KIM. She puts the remote down)
KIM: Bored, bored, bored. Where's Ron when you need him?
(The Kimmunicator beeps. KIM grabs it eagerly)
KIM: Hey, Wade! Psycho villain up to something?
WADE: Sorry, Kim. Everything's quiet.
KIM: Oh well. So, what'd you beep me for?
WADE: Though you might like to watch Middleton play their first away game.
KIM: They don't televise that, do they?
WADE: Nope, but I can hack into their security cameras.
KIM: Cool. Put it up.
(WADE types and a hockey rink appears on the screen)
(Cut to the Schooley High Hockey Rink. The teams are lined up. The game is about to start. RON sits on the bench with the palm pilot)
RON: Let's hope I can figure out how to work this thing in, like, ten seconds.
(Cut to the ice. The hockey puck drops. JILL wrestles it away from the other player and skates towards the other team's goal. She passes it to another player, who passes it to another player, who loops around the goal and sneaks the puck in)
RON: Okay, I got as far as that first pass.
(Cut to the ice. The two teams line up again. The other player struggles with JILL for a bit before getting the puck away and skating down to the other end. One of the Middleton Players skates near her and swats the puck away. It hits a nearby wall, where another Middleton Player picks it up. She speeds down the ice and is checked into the boards by a Schooley Player. The Schooley Player skates towards the Middleton goal, does some impressive puck work and scores)
(Cut to RON. He looks at the ice, then at the palm pilot. He tosses the palm pilot aside)
RON: I give up. (Shouting) Go Mad Dogs!
(The COACH hands RON the palm pilot)
COACH: Ron, you dropped this.
RON: Oh, um, thanks.
(RON takes back the palm pilot)
RON: This is going to be a long game.