A/N: Short, sweet, silly and true. It is absolutely impossible to be afraid of something that looks just like a Mobmember!
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Immune to Vampires
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I find I have become immune to vampires.
They just don't scare me at all.
When 'Dracula''s on TV
And the title role's baring his false fangs
And trying to look terrifying
And speaking in an *outrageous* accent
I shout 'That's a terrible costume!
You haven't even got the claw right!
Yer fangs are slipping! Yer fangs are slipping!'
And fall off my chair laughing.
And when it gets to the bit where the heroine
(Who's usually wearing a skimpy nightie)
Is being scared to death by Old Fangface
I yell 'Character Assasination!' and fall off my chair again
And wail 'Eat me stars, devour my soul'
And start dramatically angsting
And cling to someone's feet and pretend to cry
And say I want to find a coffin to sleep in
(Preferably in a basement)
And ham it up colossaly while laughing my head off
And all my friends sit on my head to shut me up.
And even if one night when I was in bed
There appeared looming over me
A six-foot shadow in a crimson cape
With a wicked claw for a hand
And wolflike fangs
And blood-glowing eyes
And dead-fishbelly-pale skin
I'd rocket out of bed
And squeeze it so hard it couldn't breathe
And yowl 'Hey VINNIE! How ya doing?'
And wake up all the neighbours!
_________________________
Immune to Vampires
_________________________
I find I have become immune to vampires.
They just don't scare me at all.
When 'Dracula''s on TV
And the title role's baring his false fangs
And trying to look terrifying
And speaking in an *outrageous* accent
I shout 'That's a terrible costume!
You haven't even got the claw right!
Yer fangs are slipping! Yer fangs are slipping!'
And fall off my chair laughing.
And when it gets to the bit where the heroine
(Who's usually wearing a skimpy nightie)
Is being scared to death by Old Fangface
I yell 'Character Assasination!' and fall off my chair again
And wail 'Eat me stars, devour my soul'
And start dramatically angsting
And cling to someone's feet and pretend to cry
And say I want to find a coffin to sleep in
(Preferably in a basement)
And ham it up colossaly while laughing my head off
And all my friends sit on my head to shut me up.
And even if one night when I was in bed
There appeared looming over me
A six-foot shadow in a crimson cape
With a wicked claw for a hand
And wolflike fangs
And blood-glowing eyes
And dead-fishbelly-pale skin
I'd rocket out of bed
And squeeze it so hard it couldn't breathe
And yowl 'Hey VINNIE! How ya doing?'
And wake up all the neighbours!