(((.-) Zel . Xelloss $.$ Lina ((.) Gourry ((.))Amelia

Seyruun High Jinx

Chapter 21

THE SLAYERS

They started with the costumes in the coach house, which proved to be a good choice. There were enough white sheet-like-things to outfit an entire football team in togas. Gourry's reluctance was quieted when he was assured that he could wear pants under his, though Val was threatened repeatedly with tights. But there was that donkey head.

"I'll sew ears onto a headband!" volunteered Sylphiel. She was also keen on doing the rest of Gourry's costume, if they 'couldn't find something in his size'.

Filia had found a shimmery gold dress with enough drape to pass as Grecian, so she was happy. She, Amelia, Val, and Gourry were taken care of. That left the reluctant fairy court.

Filia insisted upon pastels, but that went over like a lead balloon. Zel wanted black, and Lina and Xelloss had the same idea.

"Who ever heard of fairies wearing black!" Filia snorted.

"What kind of fairies do you think we are?" Zel retorted back.

Val thought that was funny. Lina hit him. Everyone thought that was very funny.

Eventually, a few capes were discovered, including a brilliant blue one for Filia, Queen of the Amazons, and Zel's old friend, the black 'tuxedo mask' cape. He sighed and took possession of it once again.

So they made a list of accessories that they needed, and allowed the van to drop them off downtown.

The list was as follows:

1. Some black, kingly rags for Zel and a pin for the cape
2. Some equally black but no-so-kingly rags for Xelloss

"Something black, slinky and short for Lina," were Val's last words before Lina assailed him. So they put down:

3. Something for Lina.

Then, as an afterthought:

4. music video stuff.

Not to forget that! They all piled out of the Amelia van downtown where several re-sale and slightly used clothing stores lined the block.

"I don't see any boutiques here!" sniffed Filia.

"That's right! We're going re-sale-ing! Lot's more cool stuff," grinned Val.

"And at affordable prices!" added Lina. "Come on this one's first!" she shouted as she grabbed onto Zel and Gourry and pulled them along.

The idea of clothes hunting seemed good at the time, but with this gang, whose tastes ran the full gamut, it was becoming tortuous, and a torture only few were enjoying. Filia was determined even though she was out of her element. Sylphiel and Amelia were happy to comply with her taste, and felt at ease looking at men's clothes as well as girls. Lina wanted to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. However, the boys were a pain. Val was decidedly punk-oriented, and limited his selections to that realm. Zel stood aloof, disgusted with every idea the girls had. Gourry sided with Zel and would have none of it. The entire shopping spree wasn't 'manly' enough. Surprisingly, Xelloss was happy to have the chance to actually buy clothes on his own and only asked that his clothes not be purple.

Lina's patience was wearing thin as the pink chiffon dress Amelia was cooing over. Then she spied something spectacular. It was red and shiny, ankle length (on her anyway) with a slit up the side and long sleeves with sheer drapery flowing down. It was the perfect combination of tasteful regal and beguiling sorceress. It screamed 'Fairy Queen' to her, so she nabbed it and ran to the dressing room. Amelia found a large silver choker which she was able to successfully push off onto Zel as a King's circlet.

Val howled in glee from the other side of the store. Xelloss was first on the scene, followed tentatively by Zel and Gourry. He had come upon a black leather clearance rack.

"Look at this crazy shit!" he blubbered. "Pants...I've always wanted a pair of leather pants."

Now, like anyone who owns a shiny black fender guitar, Zel harbored that secret desire to be a rock star, and that included black leather jacket fantasies. He approached the rack, fingering a particularly tough-looking one.

"Zel, Zel, Zel," Val said, putting an unwelcome hand on his shoulder. "Welcome to the rock star world! We can outfit the entire band here! Go get Lina!" he called to no one in particular.

She shimmered over in the red dress. Jaws dropped. The speechless gaping mouths said it all. "Does this say 'There goes Lina, Queen of the fairies?'" she beamed.

Val grinned his approval, and directed her attention to the leather collection while she was in a receptive mood. "We've decided The Slayers are wearing black leather this season," he snickered.

"Yummy..." she purred. Things were on a roll now.

Amelia, Filia, and Sylphiel would take more convincing. Val began by draping an arm over Filia's shoulders and explaining the appeal of biker pants and vest. He must have been very persuasive because she eventually swayed off to a dressing room carrying a skirt and vest.

Sylphiel was horrified, for nearly ten seconds, then, seeing that Gourry was pawing through the rack for his size, she had a change of conscience and dove in.

Amelia needed the reassurance. She sought out Zel. He had just slipped on that jacket and turned to meet her glowing eyes. "H-How does it look?" he stammered uncomfortably.

"Fantastic! Oh, Mr. Zelgadiss, you look so..." Amelia cried.

"Bad! The kind of guy you can't take home to daddy!" Val smirked.

Zel blushed, but he left the jacket on. He shook his head and said sadly. "I can't afford this."

"No problem! I've got a credit card. Buy now, pay me back later!" Xelloss chirped.

"You ought to just give it to him, just for putting up with you for the last few days," said Filia, returning in a short, tight black skirt, gold lame' tube top, and black fitted vest.

Xelloss was about to say something stupid, but gawked at her instead.

Gourry pushed him aside to try on a pair of pants. "Ahhh, Filia, that's...a different look for you. Nice, though!" Gourry smiled and moved off.

"Here, Gourry, try this shirt on with those," suggested Lina holding out a beautiful, blue, satin shirt.

"Okay, Lina..." he said meekly. But not too meekly. The shiny blue had caught his eye, for Lina wasn't the only crow in the group.

"So Zel, just the jacket today? Wro-ong. I have just the shirt for you...Here, similar to Gourry's but white."

"Lina, I would cook in that," he complained.

"Well, when you rip off that jacket, something's got to be there...and not one of those ugly gray t-shirts either! Wait...here a cool poet's shirt in cotton gauze." Lina won again.

Val slithered into view in tight leather pants and vest.

Lina turned him around and stuffed a couple shirts in his arms. "Too much skin, Val."

Sylphiel and Amelia returned giggling. They were wearing matching shirts and vests, not as tight as Filia's, but equally short. Filia had found a sequined blue tube top for Amelia and a shiny pink vinyl one for Sylphiel. The background singers were done.

Lina could now focus her attention on…Xelloss. He wasn't making much headway. He normally wore very conservative clothes. Now he was thumbing through racks and wandering aimlessly. Lina gently took his arm and pointed him in the right direction. Soon he was entering a dressing room carrying a black tunic-type shirt and black silky loose-fitting pants. Lina found two black scarves and when he emerged, she used them to tie the pants at the ankles. He made a very dark and scary Puck. He insisted that no one would notice what he wore behind his drum set, but that leather was out of the question. He had to move a lot, and needed loose clothing. Lina also had the purple boycott to contend with. She decided that burgundy was the next best thing, and she had her sensors calibrated to seek it out. Green would look good on him, too.

Wonder of all wonders, the perfect thing appeared on the fourth scan of the place. It was bottle green and wine burgundy, and striped. It was also Gourry sized, which meant that with a sash belt, it would be a great Puck tunic. Regardless of Xelloss' wishes, that was adopted, and the black tunic top was passed on to the inattentive Zelgadiss.

Zel was uncharacteristically admiring himself in the mirror while Lina piled up costume suggestions at his feet. They figured the tunic, circlet, and any pants would do, so he was all figured out, and could be left alone.

Gourry was admiring the chorus girls, his look changed by black leather pants and royal blue satin shirt. He passed inspection too!

Val reappeared carrying his new acquisitions, the pants and vest. Amelia had discussed payment options with Xelloss, and they agreed to split the bill, being the only financially-endowed members of the band. Credit cards were forked over, and they left with most of the items crossed of the list: Zel's King costume & band outfit, Xelloss' Puck ensemble, Gourry, Val, and the back-up singers' play and band outfits, and Lina's Faerie Queene dress. Missing were only Xelloss and Lina's clothes for band.

On the ride home everyone was in a good mood, for awhile anyway.

"So, Zel, I figured you'd be bugging us all to go see the Lost Universe movie this weekend?" Lina asked casually. She certainly didn't expect him to freeze up and go all...Zel on her.

"Oh, he already saw it!" supplied Xelloss before he remembered it was supposed to be a secret (how Out Of Character!) "Was I not supposed to mention that?"

Now Zel blushed crimson and sank into his seat. Amelia was hoping to share the adventure with her friends, but had respected Zel's request for secrecy. Now that the cat-was-out-of-the-bag, however, she cheerfully filled in the interested group.

"We weren't going to tell you because there were only four tickets. Kiki was given them and she really wanted to go with Mr. Xelloss but her parents won't let her date yet so she invited me and Mr. Zelgadiss because we are friends and we were sitting right next to her and," Amelia reeled off.

"Stop right there!" shouted Lina. "I get it. So you guys double-dated…but not really. Zel? Zel, sit up. So was the movie good? Do you want to go see it again?"

Zel nodded his head and closed his eyes. "It was fine. Yes, I want to see it again."

"So what went wrong? Xelloss?" Lina pried.

"Why, what makes you think anything went wrong, Lina? We arrived, bought popcorn and sodas. I like extra butter, Zel likes his..."

"PLAIN! Yes, I know that...go on…" coaxed Lina.

"…plain. We found seats. Watched the silly ads. I answered four of the five quizzes correctly and I would have got that one if..."

"GET ON WITH IT!" Lina yelled, tired of his diverging.

"My, my, Lina…you're so… Ok-ay, do-kay…then we watched the movie and went home," he finished with an inane smile.

"O-kaaaay, Amelia! What did he leave out?" Lina was smoking.

"Oh, Miss Lina...no..." she moaned.

Zel turned to Lina and furiously told the story, "Someone, who shall remain nameless, spilled soda on my sweatshirt before we got seated...and, idiot that I was, I took it off, and...some older kids saw me and thought that I had…come in costume...as an alien! Satisfied? Do you want me to tell you exactly how that made me feel? Ahhh, don't give me that look. I've had enough pity for one day."

Lina gaped. "I am truly sorry, Zel. I was wrong to pry."

Xelloss felt bad for Lina and thought Zel had come down too hard on her, so he finished the story. "Actually, they thought it was a really cool make-up job. And when Kiki told them it wasn't one, but that he really looked that way, the kids thought that that was way cool and wanted to know how they could get that look themselves. So it wasn't all that bad, Zelgadiss. They didn't call you names or run off screaming or anything."

"So stop sulking!" finished Lina.

"…" said Zel.

"So Xelloss went out on a date with a normal girl?" asked Filia incredulously.

"It wasn't a date, exactly...but, Kiki's crazy about him," Amelia sighed.

This was news to him. Xelloss' eyes grew wide and the blood drained from his face. His brain went on overload and he stopped listening to further conversation. He also allowed his sack of clothes to slip off his lap and onto the floor of the van.

"Crazy for sure!" snipped Filia.

The buzzing of Xelloss' cell phone cut the tension.

"Yuss? Okay. Huh? Not until… when? Tomorrow? He's here, hold on…Zel? Change in plans." Xelloss tossed him the phone.

"Hello? We are all in Amelia's van. We've been shopping for play costumes. I think the doctor was supposed to call this evening. No, the stitches get absorbed. What's that? Oh, yeah sure, I'll walk him when we get back." Zel turned from the phone, smirked at Xelloss, and in a loud voice said, "Your mother wants you to get some exercise!"

Everyone laughed. They figured out that he was going to walk the dog, but Zel's joke was good.

Zel returned to the phone. "You heard that? Hmmm, all right…no…I can manage…I will. Good bye. click Here's your phone back."

"So anybody want to go to the matinee with me tomorrow, call by 1:00…here's my stop. Bye everyone…bye Zel," Lina said, then hopped out hauling her treasured dress.

Both Zel and Xelloss got out at Xelloss'. "I need to get a change of clothes and check on the house. Want to come along?"

"And walk Beast? Sure. Is there the possibility of eating, too?"

Zel shrugged. "Sure, there's food at my house...and coffee. You know, I've only had two cups in all the days that I've been over here."

"Good!" Xelloss smiled as he found a leash and collar for the eager dog. "You should drink more dairy and eat more fruit and vegetables. Everything you put into your body should be good for it. What's that look for?"

Zel was holding in a laugh. "I know, I'll try to do better. At this rate I can probably cut out coffee and substitute…What is that stuff you guzzle? Carrot juice?"

"Yes, and tomato and some fruit juices…and milk. Of course it tastes better with that strawberry powder in it."

"I could have guessed. So…Gaaaah! Not every tree, you stupid dog! Didn't anyone train you to heel?"

"Beast is half wolf so he doesn't train very well. He's also nearly twelve years old. Pretty, but I don't like dogs, I guess. Zelgadiss?"

Zel hesitated on the walk up to his house. He thought a moment longer, and then practically whispered, "This is it."

"You're blushing! Why? Is this it? Your house? Basement and everything? Lead on!" said the smiling boy.

Zel quickly closed the door behind them.

"This way's my room."

"Dark."

"I like it that way. Here Beast, you can sleep on my bed. Get off, Xelloss."

"I want to see some pictures of you when you were little."

"All right…there are some yearbooks in the bottom drawer." Zel nodded as he pulled on clean clothes while his friend was distracted.

"Fifth grade. Yeah I saw this at school…and here's your name. You were good looking. Oh, I'm sorry, you still are… but in a different way." Xelloss moved to Zel's side.

"Yeah real different, but now you see why I want to find a cure," Zel said sadly.

Xelloss stared at the photo. "You had dark hair."

"Nearly black, thick, mostly straight…not silky like yours, but not a wiry mess like ...this…"

"Your eyes look different. Oh, what long eye lashes! You know, I bet your dad was Asian. "

Zel broke away. "Put the pictures away, please. Let's check out the food in the kitchen."

Whatever was bugging him passed quickly though. His tone was light as he chattered on, while diggeing through cupboards and the refrigerator. "Cereal, milk's still passable… toast? Probably eggs...yeah and bacon…What can I get you? Hey, why the funny look? My pants on backwards or something?"

Xelloss shook his head and smiled. "I'm hungry. Bacon and eggs anyway you like 'em. Zelgadiss? I just can't believe you're real sometimes."

"I'm not. The real Zel is sitting at his computer playing games. This is his drudge clone." But Zel smiled.

"No, this is the real Zelgadiss. A thoughtful, funny guy. That angsty kid that everyone else knows is the clone," Xelloss said seriously.

"Do you have any homework?" Zel asked.

"That I'm planning on doing? Nope!" Xelloss smiled as they arrived back at his place.

"Wanna try beating me at that Lost Universe game again?"

"Consider yourself beaten to a pulp!" Xelloss grinned.

"Oh, yeah? Hey, that envelope wasn't there before, was it? What is it?"

"It's from…him, just like the last time."

Zel picked up the envelope and opened it up. "It's…a poem. Want me to read it?"

Xelloss plopped down on a beanbag chair, bangs shading his eyes. "Go on."

Zel read: " 'Will you walk a little faster?' said a whiting to a snail, 'There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.' ... 'Will you, won't you, will you won't you, will you join the dance?'. .. The further off from England the nearer is to France-then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.' ... That's all…Lewis Carroll? Does this mean anything to you, beyond the obvious dance references?"

The phone rang. Zel took it from Xelloss. "Hello? No, Doctor Adams, it's Zelgadiss. Ah, yeah, we just got in and found...another envelope waiting. Sure, thanks. Bye."

"Doctor Adams said he'll stop by on his way home from the hospital in about fifteen minutes. He's calling McGywn."

Sunday morning brought another storm blasting rain and wind upon Seyruun. Zel accompanied Xelloss to the dojo. Amelia had TONS of homework to catch up on before school the next day. Sylphiel had shrine duties and Filia had clan functions to attend. Val slept in to nearly 1:00 in the afternoon. That left only Gourry to accompany Lina to the 2:00 matinee showing of Lost Universe. Instead of calling, he decided to show up and surprise her at the restaurant. He waited at a booth until she hung up her apron and joined him.

"So, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Taking ya to the movie." He smiled that warm innocent smile. "My dad even let me borrow his pickup…if you don't mind…ahhh… Am I the only other one going with you?"

"Oh? Yeah…I told everyone to call by one o'clock, so…I need to check for messages at home first."

"I'll give you a lift!"

There were no acceptances. Everyone was busy.

"Well, it seems that it'll be just you and me this time," Lina said weakly.

"Ahh, okay."

"Give me a minute to change out of these work rags!"

"Ahh, okay."

So Lina jumped into the pickup with Gourry for their first date.

Monday morning announcements included: basketball team roster results posted outside gym, chess club tournament Wednesday after school, fencing finals Friday, and football Saturday.

It was god old composition class in which Lina fell into her chair looking like death warmed over. She had stayed up pretty late to finish her homework and Monday mornings, especially after a holiday, were not good for her. Zel and Xelloss entered together, taking their customary seats. Zel was nearly de-caffinated by now and had had breakfast, so he was relatively cheerful. Xelloss flopped into his chair laughing about Lina's untamed hair which was attempting to take over the desk behind her. The teacher gave him the 'evil eye' and he, remarkably, settled down.

By the time science lab rolled around, Lina spirits had improved. Xelloss joined her with Zelgadiss and together they finished the precipitation study early. While Zel wrote up the results, Lina told Xelloss more about the song she had written for Gourry. Oddly, though her mind was elsewhere and she hardly listened to her friends at all…

"It's a great song, of course, it's just that…I'm not sure…" Lina drifted off.

"Oh, I'm sure that..." began Xelloss.

"Yeah…He has a good voice and can do a rocker like this, right?" she hummed a little of the tune to give them an idea of what it was like.

"Fine," Zelgadiss said curtly.

"I think so, too, but..." Xelloss began again.

"You think…he might not like it?" she hesitated.

"That never stopped you from getting your way before," Zel smirked.

"That's not what I was trying to say, although, he might like it better if…" Xelloss began a third time.

"I know Val would jump at the chance to do it, but then Gourry would back off…" Lina continued to muse.

"If you say it's for Gourry, no one will argue…" Zel sighed.

"Well, I think that…oh, I give up…" muttered Xelloss, who finished cleaning up the equipment and storing it all in the 'unit box'.

"You think?" she wavered.

"Most of the time, and so do you, except today you seem to be on another planet. Done. I'll turn this in and we can go. Ah, there's the bell. Going to lunch, Lina?" Zel asked, leaving.

"Were you saying something?" Lina turned to Xelloss who was studying her with curiosity.

"I was, but it doesn't matter, Lina. You seem to have something else on your mind today. Later, then…"

"Of course he'll do it. He'll like it and sing it just fine. What were those two idiots thinking?" she shook her head and skipped out the door.

The lunch crowd was subdued. Everyone agreed that the holiday was over too soon. Gourry took a bite out of a turkey sandwich, the only remaining reminder of that glorious meal. Then his mind drifted onto yesterday's movie with Lina.

"Hey Lina! Remember that one guy with the short black hair? The one who was always videotaping the beauty contests and stuff? Don't you think he looks like..." Gourry began.

Zel was glaring ominously If you say 'Zel', I'll throttle you!

Lina choked on her apple Not the movie, not the movie, not the movie .

Xelloss grinned. "They went to the movie together."

Amelia looked up. "How nice! Miss Filia, did you hear? Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry went on a date!"

Lina buried her head in her arms.

Xelloss took this opportunity to act out in his usual style. "Oh dear, is something wrong, Miss Lina? You seem a little off your feed. Oh, Sylphiel? Do you have any more of those aspirins? I think Miss Lina's not feeling well all of the sudden. Oh…you're not either? Must be that damn flu..."

Zel looked over at Xelloss- the two were separated by Amelia and Kiki- as if to say 'you are asking for trouble'.

Gourry patted Lina on the back in a caring manner. "You okay? Ahhh...I was just wondering if you thought Kane looked a little like you, except that he's a guy and you're…not…er...Lina?"

Zel tensed. The phrase 'Thar she blows!' came to mind.

"Shhhhssss…"

Ah yes, Lina was fuming.

"Letting off a little steam, Miss Lina?" Xelloss teased some more. He really did not know when to stop. "Oh, and you can have my dessert! It's steamed… DATE… pudding! What's that? All that crazy babbling earlier about whether he'll like the song or not… has that got something to do with all this dating nonsense? Oh, I'm sorry, Lina, was all that supposed to be...a secret?"

Gods, Xelloss was in for it now…

Lina jumped up from her seat and onto the table. Smoke pouring from her ears and flames shooting from her eyes, lent her a formidable appearance. Xelloss had launched into a 'Lina' story with Kiki, and so, missed his cue to exit before…Lina grabbed his collar and wrenched his head and shoulders over the table. She held him still with one hand and ground the proffered dessert into his face with the other. Not yet satisfied with the 'lesson', she smashed his head and chest down onto the table.

"Never on Mondays. Never bug me on Mondays, especially after a holiday and especially, especially not until I'll finished eating MY lunch. UNDERSTAND? Good, because you are getting off easy, buster, due to that head thingy. No one messes with me. I'm Lina Inverse, remember that!"

Lina straightened her blouse, pushed back some loose strands of hair and returned to her seat.

"No, Gourry," she said calmly. "I did NOT think anyone in that movie looked like anyone sitting at this table. Now that's enough said…Hey, who took my pickles? Gourry! Oh…well… you can have it…its too far gone anyway."

Xelloss looked up while shaking crumbs out of his hair and whined, "That's not fair! He stole food! I didn't steal food."

Zel stood and grasped his friend by the arm. "Let's get you out of here," he muttered. "See the rest of you later at band practice…oh, and Kiki? Let's aim for video taping this Wednesday. Today's not shaping up to be...the best."

Play practice was the last class of the day, and it was a good thing that it was because all the kids were bereft of energy and attention span. They watched the teacher 'perform' key lines of the play to 'give them a feel' for their parts. Val fell asleep the moment the teacher said, "Now listen to the poetry of these lines…the ebb and flow."

Gourry had him beat. He drifted off the moment the teacher said, "Good afternoon class! I hope you all had a restful holiday break."

Lina doodled in her notebook. She had intended to fix up those lyrics to Gourry's song, SET ME FREE, but was shocked to see that she had actually drawn a picture of a large roasted turkey with long blonde hair, rolling across the page on a skateboard. My Gods! Where did that monstrosity come from!

Xelloss, who had been watching over her shoulder from the seat behind, could take no more. "Awww, Lina…He's not all that bad…'Course you could do much better."

She slammed her notebook shut and pushed his hand off her shoulder. "What! You nosy..."

"Calm down! I meant the picture. Not bad, but...the drumsticks needed to be much longer." He grinned evilly.

Not sure how to take that, she decided to let it pass with a shrug. Minutes later, he was using pencils as drumsticks and was pounding out an intricate rhythm, over and over and over.

Lina's patience was wearing thin. If I ignore him, he will go away. That's what Zel told me to think. He's still there, Zel! I tried, I really tried to give the obnoxious jerk a chance, but… Lina whipped around in her seat ripped both pencils out of his hands and snapped them in two. She added a meaningful sneer with fangs, and then stuffed the pieces down his shirt.

He gasped.

She grinned savagely. "I win!"

Zel, sitting to her left, tried to ignore his friends as best he could. The teacher was reading some of his lines and he found the presentation highly educational. A boy he didn't know well chuckled at the pair and whispered loudly enough for half the class to hear, "If you can't keep your hands off each other, go get a room."

Lina whirled around and fixed her deadly glare on the offending clod. "Duo, if anyone is going anywhere it's you…to a hospital." Then she punched him hard in the stomach. "Get it, dorknut? Or do you want to take it outside later?"

Duo nodded his head meekly as he wheezed face-down on his desk.

The teacher had finished his presentation for the day and recommended that the class work on their lines in pairs. He walked around assigning pairs. Kuno as Lysander was paired with Syphiel as Hermia. As he passed Lina on his way to Syphiel's desk, Kuno bent over her and said meaningfully, "You do realize, Lina, that if you think you can convince an audience that you are a queen, you must improve your temperament and deportment."

With a grin, Lina stuck out her foot and tripped him. "You're right! That made a big improvement. I am feeling much better now."

Zel sighed. He was paired with Lina. "You are aware that in any other class you wouldn't have gotten away with any of that?'

"Any of what? What, Zel? You telling me I can't defend myself? I am the Queen!" she shouted.

"OooOooo...wonderful, wonderful! Lot's of feeling! Now see if you can toss in some of Shakespeare's dialogue, please," the teacher exclaimed with a smile as he passed by.

(((.)) Zel . Xelloss . Lina ((.) Gourry ((.)) Amelia

End Seyruun High Jinx Chapter 21