Chapter 10
Severus dressed quickly after his shower, for he still had to choose
another gift for Granger.
'She seemed satisfied with the quill.' He thought to himself. He sat
down at his desk and put on his reading glasses and began to grade tests
while his pondered about her. He remembered the day that he had learned of
her parents' death.
(Flashback)
"What news do you bring tonight Severus?" Albus queried.
"Nothing good I am afraid. It seems that two Death Eaters killed
Granger's parents last night. I had to find out from Wally, the Nott's house
elf." Severus said as his eyes emotionless, were affixed to the fire that
burned within Albus's office.
"Not, Hermione's, tell me that you are mistaken." Albus asked as his
eyes softened.
"I am afraid I speak nothing but the truth, He is going after Granger,
He thinks she will cause Potter to break." Severus said still staring into the
fire.
"How long do we have?" Albus asked.
"If we keep her safe her at Hogwarts? A month, two at the most. His
power grows by the day and everyday more and more magical creatures fall
into his service. He will breech the walls of the school, and when he does
we either face it head on, or we will be taken under his power."
"We must be prepared for battle, although I do fear it. Can I trust that
you will insure that Potter is ready, that he is prepared?"
"Of course, I will teach him all that Adolyn and you have taught me,
but I am afraid I cannot be sympathetic to the boy. If his spirit breaks then it
is us who are left to pick up the pieces."
"Severus, I ask you, he is no boy any longer. He has grown quite
powerful, you have no other choice, you must trust him."
"Albus, for you and for Adolyn, I swear to you I will die protecting
him." Severus said as he looked into the old wizard's eyes.
"I must ask one more thing of you."
"What?"
"You must be the one to tell Miss Granger how her parents died."
"No, you cannot ask me to do this, she will hate me, she already hates
me."
"Severus you have no one to blame but yourself on that account, and
she will not hate you, she is smarter than to hate you, she will see the real
foul. You must not let her be used by Voldermort, protect her, show her the
kindness that I once showed you.
"I cannot do this!"
"Severus why do you fear this?"
"I do not fear it, it is.. it is just that she reminds me so much of her, I
cannot put myself through the pain, not again."
"Severus listen to me, she might be your one chance at happiness, try,
try to show her the soul inside the man."
"You .. you do not know what it is like lying in Azkaban, hearing the
screams of the one you love. You have never heard, you have never heard
her crying for life, a life that I took from her!" Severus croaked.
"Severus, you did not kill her, do you understand me, it was an
accident, a mere accident, no one blames you."
"Everyone blames me! The blame me, they've always blamed me!
They look at me as if I am no better than a dementor. They look at me as if I
was the one responsible! I did not ask for this, I asked for none of this."
"Do you want out Severus? Is that what you want? Do you think it
could make your life better, do you really?"
"I only want for what I can never have." Severus closed his eyes.
"Please Severus do this for me." Albus said as he laid his hand on his
friend's shoulder. Severus sat silently and nodded.
*******
Later that day..
"Granger, I need to speak with you after class." Severus said as he
finished handing out the Seventh year's Advance Potion's exams. Hermione
shook her head and waited for the rest of the class to depart.
Severus hated how she still feared him, even after she knew that he
was a spy for Albus. Severus found that Hermione was very attractive with
long curly brown hair, and her eyes, her eyes were like perfect glowing orbs.
She was so like Adolyn, and yet in so many ways she was different.
Hermione spoke her mind, and was never afraid, not even when Severus
challenged her skill in potion making. It pained Severus every time she
spoke, for it reminded him of his past.
"Sir? What did you want to speak with me about?" Hermione asked
as she approached his desk.
"Sit down." He said coldly.
"Sir if this was about the exam, I know I could have done better on the
shrinking solution essay, if you just give me a chance.." She was cut off.
"This Miss Granger has nothing to do with your schoolwork, now sit down."
"Then, what did you want to speak with me about?" Hermione's eyes
searched frantically around the room.
"There is no easy way to say this Miss Granger. Your parents are
dead." Severus said looking into her eyes. She looked at him back trying to
control her quivering lip.
'Why isn't she crying?" He thought. He closed his eyes and focused,
he entered her thoughts.
'Why, why did he have to tell me? I hate him; he is a horrible man,
why couldn't Professor McGonagall have told me? Why him?' Severus
heard as he listened to her thoughts.
"Miss Granger, I do realize that this must be extremely difficult for
you, but if it comforts you to know, they did not suffer." He said as he
struggled to think what to do next.
"You.. you're a horrible man, how could you have let them kill my
parents, how could you let them die?" Hermione screamed and attacked
Severus.
Severus managed to hold her as she struggled, his free hand went to
the pocket in his robes. His hand played with a locket that he had found
after returning to the Granger house the day after their deaths. He had
intended to give it to her, but her next action did not let for it to happen.
"Leave me alone! I said leave me be!" Hermione screamed. Severus
entered her thoughts again.
'What is he doing? What a bastard, he was probably the one who
killed them. I knew he was no better than the rest of the Death Eaters.
Dumbledore is a fool if he trusts him.' Severus's face drew up in anger, and
walked out the door slamming it behind him.
(End of Flashback)
Severus never was on good terms with Hermione again. That night
she had crushed whatever hope he had to try and befriend her. He admits
that reading her thoughts was wrong, but at least he knew the truth, at least
he didn't let himself get hurt.
"All this time wasted and still I have no idea what to get her."
Severus said to himself.
He walked over to his bookshelf and pulled out a very old book that
his grandfather had given to him. He set it down on his desk and laid it
open. Within the book laid a beautiful magical bookmark. It was very old
indeed. He had intended to give to his child one day, but he knew that this
would not come to pass. He picked up the bookmark and put it in the empty
bag for Hermione.
"I am sure she will get more use out of this than I ever will." He
muttered and walked back to his desk and began to grade papers again. His
mind floated back to the past.
"It was an accident, a mistake! I gave myself willingly to you, do you
hear me! Where are you when I need you? You said you would stay with
me forever!" He yelled out and began to cry.
Severus dressed quickly after his shower, for he still had to choose
another gift for Granger.
'She seemed satisfied with the quill.' He thought to himself. He sat
down at his desk and put on his reading glasses and began to grade tests
while his pondered about her. He remembered the day that he had learned of
her parents' death.
(Flashback)
"What news do you bring tonight Severus?" Albus queried.
"Nothing good I am afraid. It seems that two Death Eaters killed
Granger's parents last night. I had to find out from Wally, the Nott's house
elf." Severus said as his eyes emotionless, were affixed to the fire that
burned within Albus's office.
"Not, Hermione's, tell me that you are mistaken." Albus asked as his
eyes softened.
"I am afraid I speak nothing but the truth, He is going after Granger,
He thinks she will cause Potter to break." Severus said still staring into the
fire.
"How long do we have?" Albus asked.
"If we keep her safe her at Hogwarts? A month, two at the most. His
power grows by the day and everyday more and more magical creatures fall
into his service. He will breech the walls of the school, and when he does
we either face it head on, or we will be taken under his power."
"We must be prepared for battle, although I do fear it. Can I trust that
you will insure that Potter is ready, that he is prepared?"
"Of course, I will teach him all that Adolyn and you have taught me,
but I am afraid I cannot be sympathetic to the boy. If his spirit breaks then it
is us who are left to pick up the pieces."
"Severus, I ask you, he is no boy any longer. He has grown quite
powerful, you have no other choice, you must trust him."
"Albus, for you and for Adolyn, I swear to you I will die protecting
him." Severus said as he looked into the old wizard's eyes.
"I must ask one more thing of you."
"What?"
"You must be the one to tell Miss Granger how her parents died."
"No, you cannot ask me to do this, she will hate me, she already hates
me."
"Severus you have no one to blame but yourself on that account, and
she will not hate you, she is smarter than to hate you, she will see the real
foul. You must not let her be used by Voldermort, protect her, show her the
kindness that I once showed you.
"I cannot do this!"
"Severus why do you fear this?"
"I do not fear it, it is.. it is just that she reminds me so much of her, I
cannot put myself through the pain, not again."
"Severus listen to me, she might be your one chance at happiness, try,
try to show her the soul inside the man."
"You .. you do not know what it is like lying in Azkaban, hearing the
screams of the one you love. You have never heard, you have never heard
her crying for life, a life that I took from her!" Severus croaked.
"Severus, you did not kill her, do you understand me, it was an
accident, a mere accident, no one blames you."
"Everyone blames me! The blame me, they've always blamed me!
They look at me as if I am no better than a dementor. They look at me as if I
was the one responsible! I did not ask for this, I asked for none of this."
"Do you want out Severus? Is that what you want? Do you think it
could make your life better, do you really?"
"I only want for what I can never have." Severus closed his eyes.
"Please Severus do this for me." Albus said as he laid his hand on his
friend's shoulder. Severus sat silently and nodded.
*******
Later that day..
"Granger, I need to speak with you after class." Severus said as he
finished handing out the Seventh year's Advance Potion's exams. Hermione
shook her head and waited for the rest of the class to depart.
Severus hated how she still feared him, even after she knew that he
was a spy for Albus. Severus found that Hermione was very attractive with
long curly brown hair, and her eyes, her eyes were like perfect glowing orbs.
She was so like Adolyn, and yet in so many ways she was different.
Hermione spoke her mind, and was never afraid, not even when Severus
challenged her skill in potion making. It pained Severus every time she
spoke, for it reminded him of his past.
"Sir? What did you want to speak with me about?" Hermione asked
as she approached his desk.
"Sit down." He said coldly.
"Sir if this was about the exam, I know I could have done better on the
shrinking solution essay, if you just give me a chance.." She was cut off.
"This Miss Granger has nothing to do with your schoolwork, now sit down."
"Then, what did you want to speak with me about?" Hermione's eyes
searched frantically around the room.
"There is no easy way to say this Miss Granger. Your parents are
dead." Severus said looking into her eyes. She looked at him back trying to
control her quivering lip.
'Why isn't she crying?" He thought. He closed his eyes and focused,
he entered her thoughts.
'Why, why did he have to tell me? I hate him; he is a horrible man,
why couldn't Professor McGonagall have told me? Why him?' Severus
heard as he listened to her thoughts.
"Miss Granger, I do realize that this must be extremely difficult for
you, but if it comforts you to know, they did not suffer." He said as he
struggled to think what to do next.
"You.. you're a horrible man, how could you have let them kill my
parents, how could you let them die?" Hermione screamed and attacked
Severus.
Severus managed to hold her as she struggled, his free hand went to
the pocket in his robes. His hand played with a locket that he had found
after returning to the Granger house the day after their deaths. He had
intended to give it to her, but her next action did not let for it to happen.
"Leave me alone! I said leave me be!" Hermione screamed. Severus
entered her thoughts again.
'What is he doing? What a bastard, he was probably the one who
killed them. I knew he was no better than the rest of the Death Eaters.
Dumbledore is a fool if he trusts him.' Severus's face drew up in anger, and
walked out the door slamming it behind him.
(End of Flashback)
Severus never was on good terms with Hermione again. That night
she had crushed whatever hope he had to try and befriend her. He admits
that reading her thoughts was wrong, but at least he knew the truth, at least
he didn't let himself get hurt.
"All this time wasted and still I have no idea what to get her."
Severus said to himself.
He walked over to his bookshelf and pulled out a very old book that
his grandfather had given to him. He set it down on his desk and laid it
open. Within the book laid a beautiful magical bookmark. It was very old
indeed. He had intended to give to his child one day, but he knew that this
would not come to pass. He picked up the bookmark and put it in the empty
bag for Hermione.
"I am sure she will get more use out of this than I ever will." He
muttered and walked back to his desk and began to grade papers again. His
mind floated back to the past.
"It was an accident, a mistake! I gave myself willingly to you, do you
hear me! Where are you when I need you? You said you would stay with
me forever!" He yelled out and began to cry.