Disclaimer: None of the characters in this story are mine or do I claim to have any right over them, except the characters Barby, Jeanna, Nat/Natalia, Nad/Nadine, Lalaith, Claudia, and all others that I not characters from film or TV, as these are friends who have endured my stories and don't mind being included in them.

I write this parody with the utmost respect for any actor's work and I do not mean any offence or to belittle their work, it is just a bit of fun.

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Since his escapades with Troi, Shinzon has a thing for telepaths and he knows there are some in Babylon 5, plus he always wanted to see a Vorlon. But to get to Babylon 5 he has to take command of the Stargate and the charming SG1 whom are being investigated by Fox Mulder; Mulder thinks they're hiding little green men though Scully told him that Teal'c is neither green nor small!!! On the way Shinzon stops at Sunnydale looking for a petrol station (gosh! this Scimitar surely takes a lot of gas) and just happens to see Buffy who is arguing with Angel (again!) about who's turn it is to die and come back again in the next series.

It is a sunny day in Sunnydale:

Buffy: Look, it must be your turn… remember that small thingy of coming back from the dead performed by Willow ON ME??? Gees, you vamps are dumb!

Angel: Excuse me! No need for that. And anyway YOU forgetting that little episode, well actually not that little, when I went through the portal? Huh? Huh?

Buffy: Angel… you didn't die!

Angel: I know… but I could've… so I think it should count.

Buffy: Look… (she is interrupted by the arrival of Mighty Praetor Shinzon)

Shinzon: Excuse me… but would you be so kind as to direct me to the nearest petrol station? Then says to himself: damn, I forgot… THE PRIME DIRECTIVE… no contact with substandard aliens… must retreat… must wipe their minds of my pre… PICARD I told you before GET OFF MY F*****G HEAD… (composing himself, Shinzon continues)

Shinzon: Yes… as I was saying… nearest petrol station?

Buffy: Hey! Hey! Baldy… I don't know if you noticed but we having a private conversation here???

Shinzon: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

Buffy: Baldy! Got a problem with that???

Shinzon: Well… I must say… don't you think it is a tad rude? I mean, it is not one's fault if one loses one's hair due to an unfortunate scalp condition that one got from one's original copy, don't you know.

Angel: ones copy… cloths ones… condition… err… what??? Hey, what kind of language is that? You're foreign or somthing?

Buffy: It's OK, I know what it is… he's British… juuuust liiiike Giiiiles…

Angel: oh! OK, that explains it… aaand the gear (laughs sounding like pig)

Shinzon: Dooo youuu knowww whooo iii ammm? (Is there some sort of echo in here? Is that you again Picard? How many times I've got to tell you, I'm the echo you're the voice… me echo… you voice… got it???) (Dumb ass…) (I heard that!)

Shinzon: ummm… anyway… where was I? Oh, yes… do you know who I am?

Buffy: Should I?

Shinzon: (clears throat) I am the Mighty Praetor Shinzon of Remus. Ruler of the Romulan Empire and soon of the all Universe.

Angel: You??? The ruler of the roman empire? (and to himself giggling) Told you he was foreign…

Buffy: Look baldy… I am busy right now otherwise I'd kick your ass and kill ya… but… it must be your lucky day… so run along like a good little demon… scrum…

Shinzon: (turning to Angel) Is she always like this?

Angel: Yea! Hot isn't she?

Shinzon: Look here girlie, no one I say no one talks to Mighty Praetor Shinzon in that manner. I will have to teach you a lesson…

Buffy: And I will have to kill you!

Shinzon: Hey! Hey! I was only going to put you across my knee and smack your bottom…

Angel: Can I have my bottom smacked as well? Can I? Can I? (jumps up and down full of excitement)

Buffy& Shinzon: Shut up Angel!!!

Buffy: Right! Lets get this over with cuz I'm getting just a little fed up with you two…

Angel: hey, I ain't done nothing…

Buffy& Shinzon: Shut up Angel!!!

Angel: hey, why do I have to shut up and baldy here can talk, huh? huh?

(Buffy, now reeeeally pissed off, sticks a spike in Angel)

Buffy: Now look what you made me do baldy! I've killed my boyfriend! I am so, so gona kill you now!

Shinzon: oh! Came on, you so much better off without him. So pale and the black… pha! So not this year's colour…

Buffy: Look baldy! I kill demons, you're a demon I kill you.

Shinzon: Look girlie, I'm not a demon, I'm human, I mean I'm Reman, no, no I'm human… arg! c*ap… all this sh*t of being touched by my Vice-Roy… I'm all confused… I got it: I'm human

Buffy: No you not!

Shinzon: What? Yes I am

Buffy: No you not!

Shinzon: Yes I am

Buffy: NO YOU NOT!

Shinzon: YES I AM! YES I AM! YES I AM!

Buffy: Look, you're bad, a villain… so you must be a demon. Got it???

Shinzon: Look lovey! I don't know where you coming from but I'm telling you I AM

A HUMAN, want to look to see I'm right?

Buffy: What do you mean want to look? Want to look where?

Shinzon: Down my pants. Well that is if I can ever get this blasted suit off… had same problem with Troi… poor girl, by the time I got it down to the waist she had grown tired and married Riker… she doesn't know what she is missing… well do you want to look or not?

Buffy: Oh, please… I had sex with Spike I've seen it all, thanks very much…

Shinzon: Then quit calling me a demon little girlie!!! Or I'll have to call my Vice-

Roy and he'll teach you a lesson.

Buffy: (mocking voice) ahhh! Poor little demon Shinzon has to call his Vice-Roy to come and fight a girlie for him, does he???

Shinzon: Thats it, I've had enough! I'm leaving! Vice-Roy, beam me up. (before disappearing in a beam of light sticks tongue out to Buffy)

Buffy: phew, demons go figure!