Woot! Guys! *hugs all around* I'm back! *curtsy* And to kick off the chapter that EVERYONE'S been waiting for... here are some more shout-outs! =)
*sprinkles fairy dust as we travel to the magical world of shout-outs*
SAGE~ Gaaah!! Christian Bale... in a leather jacket... *dies* You must send that to me, darling!!
ZIPPY~ *is outrageously flattered* Wow... I can't believe it!! I'm actually a good writer! *gets out the Ruffles and onion dip* This calls for a celebration!
SAPPHY~ Baby love! I MISS YOU!!! *pounces* Sadly, Bumlets has more troubled children to visit... but you can have Mush! He may not spin on a fan, but he looks friggin' HOT with no shirt! *wink*
CHELSEA~ "Best 7 out of 10?" "YER DAMN RIGHT!" Ahhhh! I LOVE "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey"! The first one kicks butt too... *sends a Ziggy Pig to Chelsea*
DAKKI~ *staggers* I'm your hero?? Wow. Must get some more party food! This is SO a good day for me!
RAVEN~ Ohhh yeah, you're gettin' a piece of the rebound action, believe you me! *wink*
CANARIE~ Well... I'm glad to know you annoy yourself... *scratches head* Er, yeah. *big smile*
BROWNIE~ Ah yes... Bumlets IS the dancing god... *watches her ceiling fan in hopes that he'd be there*
LET~ Thanks for wishing me luck about the college mess... *sighs* The sooner that'll be over, the better! But thanks, darling!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yes! So anyway!! This chappie is the one that all of you chicas have been waiting for...
Drum roll, please...
MUSH: *pounds on his rock-solid chest*
...THE DANCE!
EVERYONE: Yay!!!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
CHAPTER THREE~ THE BIGGEST THING TO HAPPEN TO RYDELL HIGH
((And we're back at Rydell... it's a few weeks later. RAVE, who is still quite pissed with SPOT, is still lookin' for some rebound action.))
MAYO: *who is waiting with her* Uh, Rave? Why do I gotta wait with ya?...
RAVE: 'Cause I don't wanna look desperate! *straightens up as we see OSCAR peeling down the street* Here we go... Oscar Delancey... not a bad piece of ass, if you ask me.
OSCAR: *screeches tires to a halt* Heya, sweetface... You wanna stand there lookin' sexy all day or do ya wanna get in the car? *lounge-lizard wink*
MAYO: *hisses to RAVE* Oh my God, Rave! Do you realize what you're doing??
RAVE: What WE'RE doing! *drags a helpless MAYO into OSCAR'S car as they speed away*
((Across the school, JACK is waiting like a lovesick puppy for STAGEY at her locker. SKITTERY, of course, is there first. JACK shoots him an evil glare as STAGEY comes by.))
JACK: *clears throat* Uh, hi Stage--
STAGEY: *walks right past him* Skits! Hi, baby! *embraces SKITTERY*
SKITTERY: *pimp smile* Ohhhh yeah.
JACK: She didn't even see me... *singing gloomily to himself* Cellophane, Mister Cellophane, shoulda been my name, Mister Cellophane... 'cause you can look right through me, walk right by me... and never know I'm there...
SKITTERY: *with her arms around STAGEY'S neck* So, baby... got any plans this Saturday?
JACK: *still singing* Never...
STAGEY: *bright smile* No... *plays with his letterman jacket*
JACK: *still singing* Even...
SKITTERY: *with perfect jock swagger* So, wanna go to my house an' polish my trophies?
JACK: *big finish approaching* Know...
STAGEY: *heart sinks, but kisses his cheek just to piss JACK off* I'd love to.
((As STAGEY and SKITTERY walk down the hall, JACK is left standing alone. He might as well be Amos Hart in "Chicago," hobo costume and all.))
JACK: *pitiful falsetto* ... I'm there.
((*sigh* Okay, kids... put away the Kleenex! Let's go to the future... say, about ten minutes. SKITTERY has peeled off down the road in his T-Bird, leaving STAGEY sitting on the sidewalk. JACK, of course, decides to take advantage of her predicament.))
JACK: *clears throat* Uh... H-Hi, Stagey... *rubs the back of his neck in that cute way that makes all girls want to melt in his arms*
STAGEY: *turns to face him* Jack! *realizes she sounded way too happy, composes herself* Uh, I mean... Hey.
JACK: *frowns a little* So, uh... *trying to initiate some kind of pitiful conversation* That dance is Saturday...
STAGEY: Uh huh...
JACK: Ya goin' wid that jock strap?
STAGEY: Jack... he's not a jock-strap! *looks someplace else away from him* And I'm not going with him... *sighs, looks back at him with moistened eyes* He jus' broke up with me... something about my not wanting to polish his trophies or something.
((Everyone together now! Aww... Cue Super-Jack music! This is SO his call... time for him to come to the rescue!))
JACK: *assumes the role of the greaser in shining leather, smiles dazzlingly* Aw, poor baby... *opens his arms* Yer Jacky's right 'ere, Stagey...
STAGEY: *flies to him, not even realizing that she wanted to lose him in the first place, sniveling all pathetically* He... he *sob* ...Broke up *choke* With me!!!!
JACK: *winks, thumbs-up to our audience, pimp smile* There, there... Hey, I'll take ya to the dance. I guarantee you'll have a good time with me!
STAGEY: *squeaks* R-Really?
JACK: Sure! *to the audience* Look at me, Ma... I'm a stud! *winks*
((*sighs, rolls eyes* AND... Fade out. Fade in to the DANCE!))
PIE EATER: WOO!!!
((How'd he get in here?))
PIE EATER: *shrugs*
((Hmm. Well anyway, here we are at the most anticipated event of this fic: THE DANCE!! *cue fanfare* And everyone looks so pretty... even the virginal Stagey! Who knew? But first... may I present the first lovely couple to grace Rydell's gym: MUSH and SAPPHY!))
SAPPHY: *her hair back to normal, and thank God!* Aw, Mush! Check out the gym! It looks so pretty!
MUSH: *rubs the back of his neck cutely* YOU look so pretty...
SAPPHY: *squeals* Aw darlin'! Thank you!! *does a foot-poppin' kiss... ah, go watch "The Princess Diaries" if you don't know what I'm talking about...*
MUSH: *beams, extends arm* Shall we, my sweet? *award-winning smile*
SAPPHY: Yippee skippy! Let's go!
((They dash off... and go to our adorably awkward HOPE and BLINK!))
HOPE: *gasps* Holy hell, Blink! You... *chokes* took off your eyepatch!?
BLINK: *beams* You're damn right! *pimp smile*
HOPE: *frowns, is a little disappointed* But-- I thought that there was, like, NO eye under it... I didn't know you were fakin' it all these years!
BLINK: *pouts* Yeah, yeah... *escorts her to the dance floor*
((And now all heads turn at the presence of OSCAR with not one, but TWO girls on his arm-- er, arms: RAVEN... and MAYO?! What the hell?))
MAYO: *considerably uneasy as she sees OSCAR and RAVEN master the art of making out while walking* Uh... could you two excuse me for a second?... *dodges away, runs smack into RACE*
RACE: *brightens* BABY!
((He leans in for a smackeroo, but gets a mouthful of Mayo's hairspray as she sees someone much more appealing to her... yes, folks, it's DENTON FONTAINE, the dashing host of KZAZ's teen crap-TV. Who, confidentially, is seriously hitting a mid-life crisis like it ain't nobody's business, as he's old enough to be MAYO's father. Ah well.))
MAYO: *squeals like Kim McAffee in "Bye Bye Birdie"* GAHHHH!! RACE!! Look, there he is! It's Denton Fontaine!! *licks her lips in an effort to look smoldering*
RACE: Who, THAT lousy S.O.B.? *laughs* I've seen more attractive horse's patooties!
MAYO: *rolls eyes* Grow up, won't you?! *sighs dreamily* He's the living END...
RACE: *pouts* Fine... I'm jus' gonna go find Marilyn Monroe an' take 'er out for a night on the town... Sure, she's a little outta my league, but we already have twelve kids... Yep. I keep 'em all in my bathtub! Right next to my rubber duck collection!... *looks to see if MAYO's paying attention* Aw, fine... *shuffles away*
MAYO: *about to make her move, but turns to RACE* What do you mean you got twelve kids with Marilyn Monroe?! *grabs him by his collar* 'Fess up, you scrappy li'l Italian!!
RACE: Aw, I KNEW you'd take me back, baby! *dips her, kissing her smolderingly*
MAYO: *dazedly, as she's whisked away* Denton... Denton WHO?...
DENTON: *who's been watching from a distance* DAMN it! Another piece of jailbait taken away from me!
DAVEY: Heya!
CUPID: *in a cameo role, whacks DENTON with an arrow, does a dance, and exits... stage left!*
DENTON: Whoa... *ogles Davey*
DAVEY: *smiles, looking a little more uneasy now* Uh... what're you starin' at?
DENTON: You... *coughs* Uh, I mean... *smiles* Wanna grab a bite to eat? Pizza... Caviar... Alpo?
DAVEY: Alpo?! Oh, boy! *does a fancy jig*
((...But our star-crossed lovers' plans are thwarted at the voice of MEDDA.))
MEDDA: *looking exasperated* ...I SAID! PRESENTING! MISTER DENTON FONTAINE!!
DENTON: *smiling uneasily* My bad! *winks at DAVEY* Catch YOU later, cutie!
DAVEY: *coughs* Uh... wow.
DENTON: *takes the stage away from MEDDA, performing some really disgusting gyrations that no one but Elvis (and the BOYS of the cast of "Newsies") should have the permission to do*
EVERYONE: AUGH! DENTON!!
DENTON: *smiles dashingly* Woo! Rydell High, baby!!
((Cheers, cheers, and... well, jeers. From the male set, AND the non brain-dead female set.))
DENTON: Right-o! So let's get this dance shit started, eh?
EVERYONE: *gasps*
CANARIE: *in the midst of the awkward silence* DENTON FONTAINE just said sh--
DENTON: *really sweating now* ...HITS! I said "hits"! Heh-heh. Yeah... we got lots of 'em kiddies! So, uh yeah. Stay tuned, cats an' kittens! *makes the wise choice to shut up and let music play*
((JACK whirls STAGEY around like the dancin' fool that he is, smack in front of the camera that's rolling to tape everything. And, as always, STAGEY freaks out.))
STAGEY: Gah! Jack! Let's dance over here... I don't wanna be seen on TV!
JACK: *smiles* Hey look, sweetie. It's fine! You just gotta make friends with the camera guy. *winks*
STAGEY: You know the camera guy?
JACK: Yep. Name's Kenny Ortega. YO, KENNY! *waves*
((A dude with a super-mullet, the quintessential "Newsies" god himself, waves back from behind the camera. Yay, Kenny! *pays homage* But augh... as all good things must come to an end, SPOT shows up... and that's not the really bad part. The REALLY bad part is who he brought to the dance...))
SPOT: 'Ey, Jacky-boy! Get ovah here! Want ya to meet someone...
JACK: *kind of waltzes into the group* Yeah, who are you talkin'-- *eyes widen* Aw, crap...
STAGEY: *puzzled* What?
SPOT: *proudly displaying his date* Fellas, I want ya ta meet Sarah "Hot Dog" Jacobs!
((Yeah. We didn't see THAT pairing comin', did we? Oh and by the way: Yeah, I know that she's supposed to be Cha-Cha, but c'mon! "Hot Dog" is SO much funnier! Think about it next time you watch the movie and see her hold up the hot dog and go, "Les... What is this?" Woot!))
((Ah, well... in any case, there's SARAH, wearing a seriously hoochie-mama dress and hanging all over SPOT like a cheap slut. Sorry, did I mention that I can't stand her? *shrugs* Hmm.))
SARAH: *pops her gum* Hmm... *gives JACK the old eyeball* What's happenin', Kelly? *winks, pulls up her skirt*
JACK: Uh... nothin'! *averting SARAH's all-too-creepy eyes*
SARAH: *smirks* Jack Kelly... sexy as always...
BLINK: *appearing in the conversation* Who are you again?
SARAH: They call me Hot Dog! 'Cause I won the Tri-County Weiner Eating Contest!
((There is one hell of a pause.))
RACE: *breaks the silence, snorts out a laugh*
MUSH: *trying not to burst out in raucous laughter* Yep... you was eatin' them weiners like they were goin' out of style! *elbows RACE knowingly in the ribs*
BLINK: *laughs loudly* Bet she swallowed 'em whole!
((Now all three guys are bursting out in annoying locker-room style laughter. JACK, however, looks like he'd rather die a slow and painful death than watch all of this.))
JACK: Uh, Stagey? Let's go grab some punch, hmm?
STAGEY: *is quite puzzled by the goings-on* Uh, sure. Okay.
((They go off to the refreshments table, where a few other members of OUR GANG are waiting, primarily SAPPHY and MUSH, and clearly MUSH is doing something crazy...))
SAPPHY: Okay. Mush. Darling. WHAT in creation are you doing to the punchbowl?!
MUSH: *like it's no big deal* I'm fillin' up my water gun! *dunks it into the water and squirts SAPPHY with it* Hahaha! I got you! I got you! *dances*
SAPPHY: *rolls up her sleeves* Oh that's it... *pulls out a water gun out of her tiny bag and zaps MUSH with it, starting an all-out water gun war that we're sure will continue for the remainder of the fic*
((*wink* Yep. Sapphy'll get that one! That was for you, cara mia! *waves* So meanwhile! STAGEY isn't going to let this whole business with "Hot Dog" Jacobs rest. Oh, no sir-ee...))
STAGEY: *to JACK* So er... do you know that girl back there?
JACK: *like it's no big deal* Oh, Hot Dog? Yep. We dated an' stuff. *shrugs* So?
STAGEY: And you didn't want to tell me? *looks pretty hurt*
JACK: *wins STAGEY over by dipping her low to the ground, kissing her smolderingly* Forget 'bout Hot Dog, huh? The only thing I care about is you...
STAGEY: *is all starry-eyed* Hmm... okay...
((Sheez. Oh, for crying out loud...))
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yep. I bet you guys didn't think I'd end there, did you?! Well, I'll do some more, but I realized that this chapter was taking WAY too long. See, this way I can reel all of you in with a little taste and make you slaves to my fic! MUAHAHAHA! *pause* Did I just say that out loud?
Er, please review anyway! *blows kisses* Comin' up... we have the rest of the dance annnnd its aftermath! Get ready for a bizarre turn of events, kids! (That is, if you've never seen "Grease," which I highly doubt...)
*sprinkles fairy dust as we travel to the magical world of shout-outs*
SAGE~ Gaaah!! Christian Bale... in a leather jacket... *dies* You must send that to me, darling!!
ZIPPY~ *is outrageously flattered* Wow... I can't believe it!! I'm actually a good writer! *gets out the Ruffles and onion dip* This calls for a celebration!
SAPPHY~ Baby love! I MISS YOU!!! *pounces* Sadly, Bumlets has more troubled children to visit... but you can have Mush! He may not spin on a fan, but he looks friggin' HOT with no shirt! *wink*
CHELSEA~ "Best 7 out of 10?" "YER DAMN RIGHT!" Ahhhh! I LOVE "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey"! The first one kicks butt too... *sends a Ziggy Pig to Chelsea*
DAKKI~ *staggers* I'm your hero?? Wow. Must get some more party food! This is SO a good day for me!
RAVEN~ Ohhh yeah, you're gettin' a piece of the rebound action, believe you me! *wink*
CANARIE~ Well... I'm glad to know you annoy yourself... *scratches head* Er, yeah. *big smile*
BROWNIE~ Ah yes... Bumlets IS the dancing god... *watches her ceiling fan in hopes that he'd be there*
LET~ Thanks for wishing me luck about the college mess... *sighs* The sooner that'll be over, the better! But thanks, darling!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yes! So anyway!! This chappie is the one that all of you chicas have been waiting for...
Drum roll, please...
MUSH: *pounds on his rock-solid chest*
...THE DANCE!
EVERYONE: Yay!!!!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
CHAPTER THREE~ THE BIGGEST THING TO HAPPEN TO RYDELL HIGH
((And we're back at Rydell... it's a few weeks later. RAVE, who is still quite pissed with SPOT, is still lookin' for some rebound action.))
MAYO: *who is waiting with her* Uh, Rave? Why do I gotta wait with ya?...
RAVE: 'Cause I don't wanna look desperate! *straightens up as we see OSCAR peeling down the street* Here we go... Oscar Delancey... not a bad piece of ass, if you ask me.
OSCAR: *screeches tires to a halt* Heya, sweetface... You wanna stand there lookin' sexy all day or do ya wanna get in the car? *lounge-lizard wink*
MAYO: *hisses to RAVE* Oh my God, Rave! Do you realize what you're doing??
RAVE: What WE'RE doing! *drags a helpless MAYO into OSCAR'S car as they speed away*
((Across the school, JACK is waiting like a lovesick puppy for STAGEY at her locker. SKITTERY, of course, is there first. JACK shoots him an evil glare as STAGEY comes by.))
JACK: *clears throat* Uh, hi Stage--
STAGEY: *walks right past him* Skits! Hi, baby! *embraces SKITTERY*
SKITTERY: *pimp smile* Ohhhh yeah.
JACK: She didn't even see me... *singing gloomily to himself* Cellophane, Mister Cellophane, shoulda been my name, Mister Cellophane... 'cause you can look right through me, walk right by me... and never know I'm there...
SKITTERY: *with her arms around STAGEY'S neck* So, baby... got any plans this Saturday?
JACK: *still singing* Never...
STAGEY: *bright smile* No... *plays with his letterman jacket*
JACK: *still singing* Even...
SKITTERY: *with perfect jock swagger* So, wanna go to my house an' polish my trophies?
JACK: *big finish approaching* Know...
STAGEY: *heart sinks, but kisses his cheek just to piss JACK off* I'd love to.
((As STAGEY and SKITTERY walk down the hall, JACK is left standing alone. He might as well be Amos Hart in "Chicago," hobo costume and all.))
JACK: *pitiful falsetto* ... I'm there.
((*sigh* Okay, kids... put away the Kleenex! Let's go to the future... say, about ten minutes. SKITTERY has peeled off down the road in his T-Bird, leaving STAGEY sitting on the sidewalk. JACK, of course, decides to take advantage of her predicament.))
JACK: *clears throat* Uh... H-Hi, Stagey... *rubs the back of his neck in that cute way that makes all girls want to melt in his arms*
STAGEY: *turns to face him* Jack! *realizes she sounded way too happy, composes herself* Uh, I mean... Hey.
JACK: *frowns a little* So, uh... *trying to initiate some kind of pitiful conversation* That dance is Saturday...
STAGEY: Uh huh...
JACK: Ya goin' wid that jock strap?
STAGEY: Jack... he's not a jock-strap! *looks someplace else away from him* And I'm not going with him... *sighs, looks back at him with moistened eyes* He jus' broke up with me... something about my not wanting to polish his trophies or something.
((Everyone together now! Aww... Cue Super-Jack music! This is SO his call... time for him to come to the rescue!))
JACK: *assumes the role of the greaser in shining leather, smiles dazzlingly* Aw, poor baby... *opens his arms* Yer Jacky's right 'ere, Stagey...
STAGEY: *flies to him, not even realizing that she wanted to lose him in the first place, sniveling all pathetically* He... he *sob* ...Broke up *choke* With me!!!!
JACK: *winks, thumbs-up to our audience, pimp smile* There, there... Hey, I'll take ya to the dance. I guarantee you'll have a good time with me!
STAGEY: *squeaks* R-Really?
JACK: Sure! *to the audience* Look at me, Ma... I'm a stud! *winks*
((*sighs, rolls eyes* AND... Fade out. Fade in to the DANCE!))
PIE EATER: WOO!!!
((How'd he get in here?))
PIE EATER: *shrugs*
((Hmm. Well anyway, here we are at the most anticipated event of this fic: THE DANCE!! *cue fanfare* And everyone looks so pretty... even the virginal Stagey! Who knew? But first... may I present the first lovely couple to grace Rydell's gym: MUSH and SAPPHY!))
SAPPHY: *her hair back to normal, and thank God!* Aw, Mush! Check out the gym! It looks so pretty!
MUSH: *rubs the back of his neck cutely* YOU look so pretty...
SAPPHY: *squeals* Aw darlin'! Thank you!! *does a foot-poppin' kiss... ah, go watch "The Princess Diaries" if you don't know what I'm talking about...*
MUSH: *beams, extends arm* Shall we, my sweet? *award-winning smile*
SAPPHY: Yippee skippy! Let's go!
((They dash off... and go to our adorably awkward HOPE and BLINK!))
HOPE: *gasps* Holy hell, Blink! You... *chokes* took off your eyepatch!?
BLINK: *beams* You're damn right! *pimp smile*
HOPE: *frowns, is a little disappointed* But-- I thought that there was, like, NO eye under it... I didn't know you were fakin' it all these years!
BLINK: *pouts* Yeah, yeah... *escorts her to the dance floor*
((And now all heads turn at the presence of OSCAR with not one, but TWO girls on his arm-- er, arms: RAVEN... and MAYO?! What the hell?))
MAYO: *considerably uneasy as she sees OSCAR and RAVEN master the art of making out while walking* Uh... could you two excuse me for a second?... *dodges away, runs smack into RACE*
RACE: *brightens* BABY!
((He leans in for a smackeroo, but gets a mouthful of Mayo's hairspray as she sees someone much more appealing to her... yes, folks, it's DENTON FONTAINE, the dashing host of KZAZ's teen crap-TV. Who, confidentially, is seriously hitting a mid-life crisis like it ain't nobody's business, as he's old enough to be MAYO's father. Ah well.))
MAYO: *squeals like Kim McAffee in "Bye Bye Birdie"* GAHHHH!! RACE!! Look, there he is! It's Denton Fontaine!! *licks her lips in an effort to look smoldering*
RACE: Who, THAT lousy S.O.B.? *laughs* I've seen more attractive horse's patooties!
MAYO: *rolls eyes* Grow up, won't you?! *sighs dreamily* He's the living END...
RACE: *pouts* Fine... I'm jus' gonna go find Marilyn Monroe an' take 'er out for a night on the town... Sure, she's a little outta my league, but we already have twelve kids... Yep. I keep 'em all in my bathtub! Right next to my rubber duck collection!... *looks to see if MAYO's paying attention* Aw, fine... *shuffles away*
MAYO: *about to make her move, but turns to RACE* What do you mean you got twelve kids with Marilyn Monroe?! *grabs him by his collar* 'Fess up, you scrappy li'l Italian!!
RACE: Aw, I KNEW you'd take me back, baby! *dips her, kissing her smolderingly*
MAYO: *dazedly, as she's whisked away* Denton... Denton WHO?...
DENTON: *who's been watching from a distance* DAMN it! Another piece of jailbait taken away from me!
DAVEY: Heya!
CUPID: *in a cameo role, whacks DENTON with an arrow, does a dance, and exits... stage left!*
DENTON: Whoa... *ogles Davey*
DAVEY: *smiles, looking a little more uneasy now* Uh... what're you starin' at?
DENTON: You... *coughs* Uh, I mean... *smiles* Wanna grab a bite to eat? Pizza... Caviar... Alpo?
DAVEY: Alpo?! Oh, boy! *does a fancy jig*
((...But our star-crossed lovers' plans are thwarted at the voice of MEDDA.))
MEDDA: *looking exasperated* ...I SAID! PRESENTING! MISTER DENTON FONTAINE!!
DENTON: *smiling uneasily* My bad! *winks at DAVEY* Catch YOU later, cutie!
DAVEY: *coughs* Uh... wow.
DENTON: *takes the stage away from MEDDA, performing some really disgusting gyrations that no one but Elvis (and the BOYS of the cast of "Newsies") should have the permission to do*
EVERYONE: AUGH! DENTON!!
DENTON: *smiles dashingly* Woo! Rydell High, baby!!
((Cheers, cheers, and... well, jeers. From the male set, AND the non brain-dead female set.))
DENTON: Right-o! So let's get this dance shit started, eh?
EVERYONE: *gasps*
CANARIE: *in the midst of the awkward silence* DENTON FONTAINE just said sh--
DENTON: *really sweating now* ...HITS! I said "hits"! Heh-heh. Yeah... we got lots of 'em kiddies! So, uh yeah. Stay tuned, cats an' kittens! *makes the wise choice to shut up and let music play*
((JACK whirls STAGEY around like the dancin' fool that he is, smack in front of the camera that's rolling to tape everything. And, as always, STAGEY freaks out.))
STAGEY: Gah! Jack! Let's dance over here... I don't wanna be seen on TV!
JACK: *smiles* Hey look, sweetie. It's fine! You just gotta make friends with the camera guy. *winks*
STAGEY: You know the camera guy?
JACK: Yep. Name's Kenny Ortega. YO, KENNY! *waves*
((A dude with a super-mullet, the quintessential "Newsies" god himself, waves back from behind the camera. Yay, Kenny! *pays homage* But augh... as all good things must come to an end, SPOT shows up... and that's not the really bad part. The REALLY bad part is who he brought to the dance...))
SPOT: 'Ey, Jacky-boy! Get ovah here! Want ya to meet someone...
JACK: *kind of waltzes into the group* Yeah, who are you talkin'-- *eyes widen* Aw, crap...
STAGEY: *puzzled* What?
SPOT: *proudly displaying his date* Fellas, I want ya ta meet Sarah "Hot Dog" Jacobs!
((Yeah. We didn't see THAT pairing comin', did we? Oh and by the way: Yeah, I know that she's supposed to be Cha-Cha, but c'mon! "Hot Dog" is SO much funnier! Think about it next time you watch the movie and see her hold up the hot dog and go, "Les... What is this?" Woot!))
((Ah, well... in any case, there's SARAH, wearing a seriously hoochie-mama dress and hanging all over SPOT like a cheap slut. Sorry, did I mention that I can't stand her? *shrugs* Hmm.))
SARAH: *pops her gum* Hmm... *gives JACK the old eyeball* What's happenin', Kelly? *winks, pulls up her skirt*
JACK: Uh... nothin'! *averting SARAH's all-too-creepy eyes*
SARAH: *smirks* Jack Kelly... sexy as always...
BLINK: *appearing in the conversation* Who are you again?
SARAH: They call me Hot Dog! 'Cause I won the Tri-County Weiner Eating Contest!
((There is one hell of a pause.))
RACE: *breaks the silence, snorts out a laugh*
MUSH: *trying not to burst out in raucous laughter* Yep... you was eatin' them weiners like they were goin' out of style! *elbows RACE knowingly in the ribs*
BLINK: *laughs loudly* Bet she swallowed 'em whole!
((Now all three guys are bursting out in annoying locker-room style laughter. JACK, however, looks like he'd rather die a slow and painful death than watch all of this.))
JACK: Uh, Stagey? Let's go grab some punch, hmm?
STAGEY: *is quite puzzled by the goings-on* Uh, sure. Okay.
((They go off to the refreshments table, where a few other members of OUR GANG are waiting, primarily SAPPHY and MUSH, and clearly MUSH is doing something crazy...))
SAPPHY: Okay. Mush. Darling. WHAT in creation are you doing to the punchbowl?!
MUSH: *like it's no big deal* I'm fillin' up my water gun! *dunks it into the water and squirts SAPPHY with it* Hahaha! I got you! I got you! *dances*
SAPPHY: *rolls up her sleeves* Oh that's it... *pulls out a water gun out of her tiny bag and zaps MUSH with it, starting an all-out water gun war that we're sure will continue for the remainder of the fic*
((*wink* Yep. Sapphy'll get that one! That was for you, cara mia! *waves* So meanwhile! STAGEY isn't going to let this whole business with "Hot Dog" Jacobs rest. Oh, no sir-ee...))
STAGEY: *to JACK* So er... do you know that girl back there?
JACK: *like it's no big deal* Oh, Hot Dog? Yep. We dated an' stuff. *shrugs* So?
STAGEY: And you didn't want to tell me? *looks pretty hurt*
JACK: *wins STAGEY over by dipping her low to the ground, kissing her smolderingly* Forget 'bout Hot Dog, huh? The only thing I care about is you...
STAGEY: *is all starry-eyed* Hmm... okay...
((Sheez. Oh, for crying out loud...))
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Yep. I bet you guys didn't think I'd end there, did you?! Well, I'll do some more, but I realized that this chapter was taking WAY too long. See, this way I can reel all of you in with a little taste and make you slaves to my fic! MUAHAHAHA! *pause* Did I just say that out loud?
Er, please review anyway! *blows kisses* Comin' up... we have the rest of the dance annnnd its aftermath! Get ready for a bizarre turn of events, kids! (That is, if you've never seen "Grease," which I highly doubt...)