Disclaimer: Don't own LOTR.
Thank you all for reviewing. I didn't think I'd get any. Flames are welcome
as I need something to laugh at.
Aragorn and Legolas Bashing
September 16. 2951
Glorfindel is still angry about my getting his horse. Just because it's the prettiest and fastest horse in Rivendell doesn't mean he has to be so uptight. Elrohir says that the Crack makes you happier than a hobbit's pipe weed does. I must spike Glorfindel's drink then.
September 19, 2951
A prince from Mirkwood called Legolas came today. He was prancing about in clothes which he called a "very manly shade of hot pink". Maybe I should make Daddy, Elladan, and Elrohir some tunics of that color.
September 20, 2951
Found Legolas trying on my dresses. He looks very nice in the green one, but I worry about him. Aragorn has gone into the wild. Hope he remembers to take baths. He kissed me before he left. Must remember to tell him to eat a pound of breath mints at least.
September 25, 2951
Have gone to spend some time in Lothlorien. Grandmother is teaching me how to read peoples' minds. I tried to read Haldirs. Must NEVER EVER do that again. I shall be scarred for the rest of my life. I can't look at Celeborn anymore without imagining him in a skirt. Oh the horror.
October 1, 2951
Perfected my imitation of Daddy's death glare. Scared poor, nasty Haldir out of his wits, if he ever had any. For being so manly looking, he sure does scream like a girl. Grandmother has given my own See-Into-The-Future- And-Stuff-Mirror-Basin-Thing. If I tilt it just right, I can get the Disney Channel! So not the drama.
October 3, 2951
Girls keep popping up here with names like Mary Sue Anna Nicole Kidman Brittany Spears Nikki Samantha Victoria Anastasia Fresca or Arwen Undomiel Eowyn Galadriel Greenleaf Evenstar Luthien Tuniviel. They all claim to be from another world and all the male elves fall in love with them. Very disturbing.
October 5, 2951
Got a letter from Aragorn. It was spelled badly and I couldn't read it. It looked like this
Der Arwen,
I mis u. Estel 2 b buck son.
Luv,
Aragorn. I got Ryelle to translate it for me. It actually said:
Dear Arwen,
I miss you. Hope to be back soon.
Love,
Aragorn List of things to do to Aragorn Make him take more baths Wash his hair Clean his nails Get him new clothes in very manly shade of hot pink Bury his old clothes Teach him to spell Spike his drink and make him tell his innermost secrets
I think that about does it. I also must read his mind and make sure he's not like that nasty old elf Haldir. He keeps have strange thoughts about bathing in Grandmothers mirror.
September 16. 2951
Glorfindel is still angry about my getting his horse. Just because it's the prettiest and fastest horse in Rivendell doesn't mean he has to be so uptight. Elrohir says that the Crack makes you happier than a hobbit's pipe weed does. I must spike Glorfindel's drink then.
September 19, 2951
A prince from Mirkwood called Legolas came today. He was prancing about in clothes which he called a "very manly shade of hot pink". Maybe I should make Daddy, Elladan, and Elrohir some tunics of that color.
September 20, 2951
Found Legolas trying on my dresses. He looks very nice in the green one, but I worry about him. Aragorn has gone into the wild. Hope he remembers to take baths. He kissed me before he left. Must remember to tell him to eat a pound of breath mints at least.
September 25, 2951
Have gone to spend some time in Lothlorien. Grandmother is teaching me how to read peoples' minds. I tried to read Haldirs. Must NEVER EVER do that again. I shall be scarred for the rest of my life. I can't look at Celeborn anymore without imagining him in a skirt. Oh the horror.
October 1, 2951
Perfected my imitation of Daddy's death glare. Scared poor, nasty Haldir out of his wits, if he ever had any. For being so manly looking, he sure does scream like a girl. Grandmother has given my own See-Into-The-Future- And-Stuff-Mirror-Basin-Thing. If I tilt it just right, I can get the Disney Channel! So not the drama.
October 3, 2951
Girls keep popping up here with names like Mary Sue Anna Nicole Kidman Brittany Spears Nikki Samantha Victoria Anastasia Fresca or Arwen Undomiel Eowyn Galadriel Greenleaf Evenstar Luthien Tuniviel. They all claim to be from another world and all the male elves fall in love with them. Very disturbing.
October 5, 2951
Got a letter from Aragorn. It was spelled badly and I couldn't read it. It looked like this
Der Arwen,
I mis u. Estel 2 b buck son.
Luv,
Aragorn. I got Ryelle to translate it for me. It actually said:
Dear Arwen,
I miss you. Hope to be back soon.
Love,
Aragorn List of things to do to Aragorn Make him take more baths Wash his hair Clean his nails Get him new clothes in very manly shade of hot pink Bury his old clothes Teach him to spell Spike his drink and make him tell his innermost secrets
I think that about does it. I also must read his mind and make sure he's not like that nasty old elf Haldir. He keeps have strange thoughts about bathing in Grandmothers mirror.