Disclaimer: See second chapter.
Flames are welcome. Thanks for reviewing.
May 6, 2980
Turned out to be an Istari called Gandalf. He's ok, but he wears a smelly, old, gray cloak. Gray is soo Second Age! He says he got ambushed in the wild. I'm not surprised. They probably tracked him by his smell. Still haven't figured out how to get the guys to participate.
May 8, 2980
Went for a ride on Asfaloth. The stupid horse threw me into some poison ivy. Saw Glorfindel in a tree laughing. I hit him with a rock. Boo yah!
May 11, 2980
The horse almost kicked me and thought bad things about me. I threatened to send him to Mordor and let the Orcs eat him for breakfast. He seemed quite happy at the prospect of leaving me. Sent him to Lothlorien instead. He'll be begging to come back.
May 13, 2980
Today is Friday the 13th and it has been a very unlucky day for me. Elladan accidentally (yeah right) spilled porridge on me, Elrohir hung me by my ankles from a balcony for all of Rivendell to see when I was wearing a dress, and Daddy has found out about my spiking his drink. I'll probably be stuck in my room for the next 500 years. Still am able to get male entertainers for our girls party.
May 15, 2980
Decided to tell the guys it's a talent show. I'll have to spike the punch to get everyone to loosen up. I'll have to be careful though. Daddy will be watching everything like a hawk.
May 16, 2980
All the guys said they'd come. I convinced them to come without shirts because it'd be hot. They actually believed me! Idiots. Legolas has come for a visit again, now wearing a very macho shade of purple. A girl named Mary Sue fell through the Hall of Fire's ceiling right into Legolas's lap. She began strangling him in a hug, and introducing herself, and talking gibberish about a quest and a ring. She finally let him breath (he was turning blue), realized he was wearing purple, and started screaming. I threw a bucket of water on her and Legolas and she melted. Made a horrible fuss about his clothes, Legolas did. They were horrendous anyway. Purple? Ugh! Blue is a much better color. Male elves.no fashion sense whatsoever.
June 5, 2980
Asfaloth has come back to Rivendell. He'll completely obey me now. Tee hee! Grandmother must have tortured him with being nice. She probably crammed sugar and apples down his throat. I feel slightly sorry for him. Slightly. I learned to position my mirror so that I can Middle Earth Access. A wonderful Internet service.
June 6, 2980
Gandalf came today and heard me talking about the "talent show". He was about to ask to join but I gave him my special "ask-me-and-I-shall-stomp- you-with-the-dominatrix-inspired-stiletto-heel-of-my-shoe-and-then-tie-you- up-behind-Asfaloth-and-drag-you-around-Rivendell-and-make-sure-you-can- never-have-children-again." look. He looked like he would cry so I said he could do a firework display. He was so happy that the stupid bugger almost hugged me. Eww!
TBC
Flames are welcome. Thanks for reviewing.
May 6, 2980
Turned out to be an Istari called Gandalf. He's ok, but he wears a smelly, old, gray cloak. Gray is soo Second Age! He says he got ambushed in the wild. I'm not surprised. They probably tracked him by his smell. Still haven't figured out how to get the guys to participate.
May 8, 2980
Went for a ride on Asfaloth. The stupid horse threw me into some poison ivy. Saw Glorfindel in a tree laughing. I hit him with a rock. Boo yah!
May 11, 2980
The horse almost kicked me and thought bad things about me. I threatened to send him to Mordor and let the Orcs eat him for breakfast. He seemed quite happy at the prospect of leaving me. Sent him to Lothlorien instead. He'll be begging to come back.
May 13, 2980
Today is Friday the 13th and it has been a very unlucky day for me. Elladan accidentally (yeah right) spilled porridge on me, Elrohir hung me by my ankles from a balcony for all of Rivendell to see when I was wearing a dress, and Daddy has found out about my spiking his drink. I'll probably be stuck in my room for the next 500 years. Still am able to get male entertainers for our girls party.
May 15, 2980
Decided to tell the guys it's a talent show. I'll have to spike the punch to get everyone to loosen up. I'll have to be careful though. Daddy will be watching everything like a hawk.
May 16, 2980
All the guys said they'd come. I convinced them to come without shirts because it'd be hot. They actually believed me! Idiots. Legolas has come for a visit again, now wearing a very macho shade of purple. A girl named Mary Sue fell through the Hall of Fire's ceiling right into Legolas's lap. She began strangling him in a hug, and introducing herself, and talking gibberish about a quest and a ring. She finally let him breath (he was turning blue), realized he was wearing purple, and started screaming. I threw a bucket of water on her and Legolas and she melted. Made a horrible fuss about his clothes, Legolas did. They were horrendous anyway. Purple? Ugh! Blue is a much better color. Male elves.no fashion sense whatsoever.
June 5, 2980
Asfaloth has come back to Rivendell. He'll completely obey me now. Tee hee! Grandmother must have tortured him with being nice. She probably crammed sugar and apples down his throat. I feel slightly sorry for him. Slightly. I learned to position my mirror so that I can Middle Earth Access. A wonderful Internet service.
June 6, 2980
Gandalf came today and heard me talking about the "talent show". He was about to ask to join but I gave him my special "ask-me-and-I-shall-stomp- you-with-the-dominatrix-inspired-stiletto-heel-of-my-shoe-and-then-tie-you- up-behind-Asfaloth-and-drag-you-around-Rivendell-and-make-sure-you-can- never-have-children-again." look. He looked like he would cry so I said he could do a firework display. He was so happy that the stupid bugger almost hugged me. Eww!
TBC