Hi again, well, the day I am writing this is 7-6-02, and I doubt that this will be seen on ff.net today…So, you can see how long it actually took to get this up there by whatever day you read this lol. Anyway, in answer to your question Sarya, Pan is 14 in my story. I was originally going to have her be whatever age she is in GT, but the way my story is kind of going and what I am planning, she might be too young, so now she is 14. ^_^ Okay, on with the story…

Yadda yadda yadda, I don't own DBZ.

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Girl of My Dreams

Chapter 12

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She finally spoke to me again yesterday. At dinner ever since she came back, she has barely said anything whereas she always used to talk. When anyone came over since she came back, she would hide in her room and refuse to come out. But yesterday, Pan finally opened up to me.

It was after dinner and I was here in my room sitting up on my bed and watching TV. Pan came in and sat next to me on the bed. I could sense that she wanted to be near me, but was still afraid of being around me for the simple fact that I am stronger than she is.

'What's up, Pan?" I asked as cheerfully as I could. It wasn't that hard to do since I really was happy to talk to her again.

"Not much," she answered quietly.

"Do you want to do anything?"

She shook her head. "Not really. I just wanted to get out of my room for awhile. It seems like I have been in there forever."

"I'm surprised that Gohan didn't follow you in here," I said jokingly. "He follows you wherever you go."

She smiled. "Well, Dad is asleep on my floor. I saw my chance to get out without him following me, so I took my chance."

"Pan?" I asked seriously. "Is he doing more harm than good to you when he stays in there? I heard that most people who were raped didn't want people to touch them, not even the people they knew and loved. I also read somewhere that they don't want anyone near them. Is that true for you?"

Pan seemed uncomfortable at the question. "I-I guess so. It's just that I haven't had the time to come to terms with-with what happened."

"What do you mean? You've had plenty of time being confined to the house all this time. You're not busy, that's for sure…"

She sighed. "I don't cry in front of people, Trunks. I haven't thought about that day because first of all, I want to forget about it. I never ever want to relive what happened. Second of all, if I ever want to get over that day, I know I have to remember it. When I do remember it, I'm going to cry. I don't want anyone around to see that."

"Oh, Pan," I chuckled, "Is that all you're worried about? No one is going to laugh or make fun of you if you cry. We'll understand why you are crying. If anything, we will comfort you."

"I don't care, I still don't want anyone around."

I decided it would be better to just leave her alone. I mean, I can't understand why she wouldn't want to tell us. Usually if I feel bad, I feel better after telling Mom about everything. Just to get all the unpleasant things off of my chest and that's why I don't understand why Pan doesn't want to just let it all go. Of course, how can I expect her to though? I have no idea what she went through. She can't convey all the feelings that are coursing through her and no one who hasn't been what she has been through will know how she feels. I guess I shouldn't blame her, but I would like her to open up a bit. I feel so frustrated that she doesn't even want me to comfort her in any way. If she would let me, I would kiss her and hold her close to me and never let her go. I would take over Gohan's watch and make sure nothing ever happened to Pan.

Pan looked away from me and I could tell that she wad struggling not to cry. Finally she nestled against me on the bed and laid her head on my shoulder and we watched TV together until she finally fell asleep.

A few hours later, I heard feet stomping around the house in a rush and suddenly my door was thrown open by Gohan.

"She's gone again! I don't know how it happened, but my Pan is gone!" Gohan yelled. Then he saw the now awake Pan looking at him from the bed next to me. Gohan composed himself and said in a strained tone, "Pan, sweetie, didn't I tell you to let me know if you're going to go someplace?"

"Yeah, but you were sleeping and so I decided to let you sleep since I didn't want you tagging along anyway. I just wanted to talk to Trunks."

"That's fine, but you have to let me know where you are going. I could have waited outside the door while you talked to him."

"Listen, I'm getting sick of you guarding me like this-"

Gohan raised his voice, "Well I'm not going to let you get taken away from me again Pan. I told you this before, I don't want to argue about it anymore!"

Pan moved closer to me. She wasn't scared, she was defiant. "Well I'm not leaving. Trunks is just as capable of keeping me safe as you are, so I'm going to stay here. You can't make me leave. I'm sick of being locked up in that room."

Gohan and sighed and for a minute I thought that he was going to try to get her to leave my room, but he just backed up and closed the door behind him.

"I hope you don't mind me staying here. I'll sleep on the floor though, I don't want to be in the same bed as you, no offense."

I looked at Pan as if she were crazy. Why would I want her to not be in my room? I know she's probably thinking that the bed means sex especially if there is a guy in the bed with her, but I don't need that. Well…I do, but that's not the point. I can wait for her. She's worth the wait, especially since I know what she has been through. I just want to hold her and make her understand that I'm here for her and will do anything to keep her safe.

"Why don't we just do this? You can sleep under the sheet and comforter and I will sleep under just the comforter. That way the sheet will be separating us," I said. I didn't expect her to agree to it at all, but it was worth the try.

She shook her head. "No, I don't want you next to me."

I nodded. "Okay then, but at least take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."

She agreed and she got under the covers and I found some extra blankets in my closet for me to sleep on after I had turned off the television. The last thought I had before I went to sleep, I remember, was that I would go out and get her a present tomorrow, which is today. I know exactly what I'm going to get her, and I hope that she'll like it. Pan is still asleep and it's almost 7:30 in the morning, but I'm going to go out and get her the present so that hopefully I will be able to wrap it and everything before she finds out about it.

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Pan woke up that morning at 8:00 and found that Trunks wasn't in the room. Even Gohan hadn't come to keep watch on her. "What's going on?" Pan thought.

She got out of the bed and wandered groggily to window to open the shades. On the desk in front of the window, she found a black leather hardcover book without a title. Curious, Pan lifted up the cover and tried to find the title, but still she couldn't find one. She lifted up the next page and found that there was writing covering the page where the title should have been. It was dated and finally Pan exclaimed, "It's a journal!" She knew that she should close it again, but she got sucked into curiosity over the journal just like just about everyone does when they know they have found someone's book of secrets. Pan pulled out the chair to the desk and sat down to read all of Trunks' journal.

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~Lady Branwen~