CHAPTER SEVEN
The shock Neo felt for the following week was completely numbing – or at least it numbed it mind. He tried not to think about it too much. But he felt the ache. Oh, he definitely felt the ache. It consumed his stomach, and his chest – somewhere in the region of his heart. He now realised the true meaning of the throw-away phrase, 'I could live without you.' He knew that every word of that phrase was true for him. He could not go on without Pia. Without Trinity.
What had gone wrong? Things had been so idyllic the first ten months or so. Before Pia was born. Not that he was blaming Pia. He adored her like no other, doted on her. After all, not only was she this wonderful little human being whom he could proudly call his daughter, she was a product of his and Trinity's love. But then something had changed. Something he could not placed. Trinity didn't even seem to know, either. All those times they had professed their undying love for one another. All those times they had cried for and with each other. All those moments they had spent, wrapped in each other's arms, neither wanting to let go. All those times they knew that they could not live a day without each other. Where had all that gone? Where?
Neo cried aloud as he shifted in his bed. He had not left it for days. Well, he'd gotten up occasionally to go to the toilet, and to grab a doughnut from the fridge. Other than this, he'd remained there, day and night, not doing anything except vacantly staring into space, occasionally flicking the remote control to see if there were any interesting shows on. Jerry Springer, Young and the Restless, blah blah blah, he thought, hurling the remote control angrily at the opposite wall. They think they have it hard, he thought, almost in tears.
He'd let himself go. He was now developing a rather coarse, unflattering beard as a result of days of stubble and lack of shaving. He didn't care, though. He had not heard from his wife in almost nine days. Not even Niobe or Morpheus had contacted him to allay his fears that something might have happened to them. He cried out, yet again. He tended to do that often, now. Cry out piteously and then burst into a hopeless wave of tears. Trin, come back…he begged, shouted, screamed inside his mind, hoping she would hear him. Please. I love you. I can't go on without you.
On the sixteenth day, Neo finally pulled himself out of bed, and into the bathroom to have a shower. He hadn't had one since she'd left. He didn't even want to think about how smelly and dirty he was, after nights and nights of nightsweats. He opened the door, pulled himself inside, and let the hot water gush over his body, tingle on his skin…he spent almost half an hour in there, washing and thinking and soaping and crying.
Stepping out, he dried himself, and then set about to shave. He nicked himself several times with the razor, and yelped as he held a wet tissue to the cuts. He put on some deodorant and aftershave, changed into new clothes, and stumbled downstairs to cook a decent breakfast. Despite his unhealthy diet of donuts, he'd lost a lot of weight. His face felt and looked thinner, and he realised he needed a belt to hold up his trousers.
While in the kitchen, savouring the delicious scent of bacon and eggs sizzling in the frypan (he'd had a two-o'clock-am craving for these), the phone rang. It made him jump. Nobody had rung him since Trinity left, or if they had, he'd slept through it. He wiped his hands on a tea towel to eliminate the grease, and yanked the receiver from its base on the wall.
'Hello?' he said, hurriedly, expecting it to be Trinity. It had to be Trinity. It just had to.
'Hello, is Thomas Anderson there, please?'
Sighing with disappointment, he nodded. 'Yes, that's me.'
'I'd just like to inform you that your Stockholm Institute forum passes have been cancelled.'
'Why?' In all honesty, he'd forgotten about it, though now that he thought of it, they had another month or so to go before they needed to depart for their stopover in Denmark. Assuming they actually went together, he added, as an afterthought.
'There's been a bomb threat, and we're declining all American passes to eliminate the dangers involved. Now only scientists and their immediate families are being permitted to come along.'
'But I paid for those tickets,' Neo said angrily, 'and you do not understand how important it is for me to go.'
'Well, I'm sorry, sir,' she said, 'but you can't go. It's as simple as that. We're not permitting any foreigners other than those directly associated with the project to go.'
'Well, that's just fantastic,' he yelled aloud, not meaning to be so aggressive, but angry anyway. 'I paid good money for those tickets. I paid good money for my family to travel to Copenhagen and then to Stockholm. And now you're telling me that thousands of my hard-earned dollars are just going to be wasted?'
'Yes, I'm afraid that's the case, sir,' she said. 'We had no way of knowing the outcome of all this, but I would like to extend our deepest –'
'Apologies can only do so much. How do you intend to fix this?' He seemed to be taking all his pent-up anger and hurt about Trinity out on this woman, and he felt he could not do a thing to stop it. 'Can I have a refund?'
'Reimbursement is not an option, I'm afraid,' she said. 'We would lose thousands and thousands of dollars if we were to reimburse each family -'
'So the families just lose the money instead, do they?'
'I'm sorry, sir, but…'
'I don't have time for this shit. Goodbye,' he said, and slammed the phone against its base on the wall. He stood there, hands leaning on the counter, breathing heavily for a few moments. What was happening? Why was his life suddenly beginning to fall spectacularly apart?
The shock Neo felt for the following week was completely numbing – or at least it numbed it mind. He tried not to think about it too much. But he felt the ache. Oh, he definitely felt the ache. It consumed his stomach, and his chest – somewhere in the region of his heart. He now realised the true meaning of the throw-away phrase, 'I could live without you.' He knew that every word of that phrase was true for him. He could not go on without Pia. Without Trinity.
What had gone wrong? Things had been so idyllic the first ten months or so. Before Pia was born. Not that he was blaming Pia. He adored her like no other, doted on her. After all, not only was she this wonderful little human being whom he could proudly call his daughter, she was a product of his and Trinity's love. But then something had changed. Something he could not placed. Trinity didn't even seem to know, either. All those times they had professed their undying love for one another. All those times they had cried for and with each other. All those moments they had spent, wrapped in each other's arms, neither wanting to let go. All those times they knew that they could not live a day without each other. Where had all that gone? Where?
Neo cried aloud as he shifted in his bed. He had not left it for days. Well, he'd gotten up occasionally to go to the toilet, and to grab a doughnut from the fridge. Other than this, he'd remained there, day and night, not doing anything except vacantly staring into space, occasionally flicking the remote control to see if there were any interesting shows on. Jerry Springer, Young and the Restless, blah blah blah, he thought, hurling the remote control angrily at the opposite wall. They think they have it hard, he thought, almost in tears.
He'd let himself go. He was now developing a rather coarse, unflattering beard as a result of days of stubble and lack of shaving. He didn't care, though. He had not heard from his wife in almost nine days. Not even Niobe or Morpheus had contacted him to allay his fears that something might have happened to them. He cried out, yet again. He tended to do that often, now. Cry out piteously and then burst into a hopeless wave of tears. Trin, come back…he begged, shouted, screamed inside his mind, hoping she would hear him. Please. I love you. I can't go on without you.
On the sixteenth day, Neo finally pulled himself out of bed, and into the bathroom to have a shower. He hadn't had one since she'd left. He didn't even want to think about how smelly and dirty he was, after nights and nights of nightsweats. He opened the door, pulled himself inside, and let the hot water gush over his body, tingle on his skin…he spent almost half an hour in there, washing and thinking and soaping and crying.
Stepping out, he dried himself, and then set about to shave. He nicked himself several times with the razor, and yelped as he held a wet tissue to the cuts. He put on some deodorant and aftershave, changed into new clothes, and stumbled downstairs to cook a decent breakfast. Despite his unhealthy diet of donuts, he'd lost a lot of weight. His face felt and looked thinner, and he realised he needed a belt to hold up his trousers.
While in the kitchen, savouring the delicious scent of bacon and eggs sizzling in the frypan (he'd had a two-o'clock-am craving for these), the phone rang. It made him jump. Nobody had rung him since Trinity left, or if they had, he'd slept through it. He wiped his hands on a tea towel to eliminate the grease, and yanked the receiver from its base on the wall.
'Hello?' he said, hurriedly, expecting it to be Trinity. It had to be Trinity. It just had to.
'Hello, is Thomas Anderson there, please?'
Sighing with disappointment, he nodded. 'Yes, that's me.'
'I'd just like to inform you that your Stockholm Institute forum passes have been cancelled.'
'Why?' In all honesty, he'd forgotten about it, though now that he thought of it, they had another month or so to go before they needed to depart for their stopover in Denmark. Assuming they actually went together, he added, as an afterthought.
'There's been a bomb threat, and we're declining all American passes to eliminate the dangers involved. Now only scientists and their immediate families are being permitted to come along.'
'But I paid for those tickets,' Neo said angrily, 'and you do not understand how important it is for me to go.'
'Well, I'm sorry, sir,' she said, 'but you can't go. It's as simple as that. We're not permitting any foreigners other than those directly associated with the project to go.'
'Well, that's just fantastic,' he yelled aloud, not meaning to be so aggressive, but angry anyway. 'I paid good money for those tickets. I paid good money for my family to travel to Copenhagen and then to Stockholm. And now you're telling me that thousands of my hard-earned dollars are just going to be wasted?'
'Yes, I'm afraid that's the case, sir,' she said. 'We had no way of knowing the outcome of all this, but I would like to extend our deepest –'
'Apologies can only do so much. How do you intend to fix this?' He seemed to be taking all his pent-up anger and hurt about Trinity out on this woman, and he felt he could not do a thing to stop it. 'Can I have a refund?'
'Reimbursement is not an option, I'm afraid,' she said. 'We would lose thousands and thousands of dollars if we were to reimburse each family -'
'So the families just lose the money instead, do they?'
'I'm sorry, sir, but…'
'I don't have time for this shit. Goodbye,' he said, and slammed the phone against its base on the wall. He stood there, hands leaning on the counter, breathing heavily for a few moments. What was happening? Why was his life suddenly beginning to fall spectacularly apart?