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Chapter one - Severus Remembers.
Severus Snape sat staring at the pensive on his desk. Fury seething from every pore as he thought about Potter, 'how dare he invade my privacy like that, he is nothing, no-one, God help us all if that's the saviour of the wizarding world!'
Snape stood and paced in his office, rage still burning in his stomach every time he recalled Potter looking into his memories, memories he had specifically removed from his mind just in case Potter managed to throw the Legilimens spell back at him.
"Harry Potter is an affront to the Magical community, he is not particularly smart, many wizards had more power than he does, and he is disobedient and disrespectful"
"After his first year he should have come to me on his knee's thankful for my efforts to safe his sorry life, yet not once did he thank me or even give me the respect due to someone so obviously superior to himself" ranted Snape.
"Then two years ago I put my life at risk once again to save his, but does he thank me! Does he even believe me, no he and his stupid little gang attack me and make me, ME, SEVERUS SNAPE, last of the Snape line look foolish, oh he will pay, this time he has gone to far!!!"
"I risk my life for all of them and not once do they thank me! The whole lot of them deserve to rot in hell! Bloody students most of whom have no right to be here! Filthy muggle borns and half bloods, why do I even bother?"
Snape sat down tired of the ranting, tired of the hatred, more than anything tired of the double life he led, Death-eater and confidant of Dumbledore, those two things should never have been done together. He knew that many in the order disliked and mistrusted him, some even hated him, but he didn't care, he had a debt to pay, and his father had always taught him that a Snape should never be indebted to anyone.
Snape recalled his Father, a proud and powerful wizard who bowed to no man! Snape had been raised in a large manor with his old fashioned parents, he was not sent to primary school, as they were infested with muggles, he had a private wizard tutor.
The memories of his tutor could still send a shiver down his spine, the man had been strict and unforgiving and Severus still had the marks on his legs from Master Huntington's cane. If he failed to recall a spell exactly, if he did not answer a question quickly enough or if he looked disrespectful he was rewarded by a hard whack across the legs from that cane.
He could not complain to his father, for this would have resulted in more punishment for being disrespectful to his superiors. His childhood was a blur of beatings and shouting, Snape smiled when he thought about the rumours of Potter's childhood with those muggle relative's, if only the boy knew how the rest of the world lived, Potter would not feel quite so sorry for himself.
Snape did not feel sorry for himself, in fact he was glad his Father and his Tutor had been so strict with him, after all Severus Snape was one of the top Apothecaries in the world. Few men had his knowledge of potions and few could match his determination and drive.
Severus would never have be able to stand up in front of the Dark Lord had his upbringing not made him into the type of man he was. Just as strict and unforgiving in many ways as Master Huntington, though Dumbledore would never allow him to beat his students, pity really, maybe they would actually achieve more if he did. Severus smiled darkly at this thought.
Young Malfoy's father had the right idea, like many of the older wizarding families Lucius believed in the old adage "spare the rod and spoil the child" and it showed in the respectful way that Malfoy treated him and the other Professors, well most of the other professor's.
Thinking about Draco led to thoughts of Lucius which inevitably led to thoughts of the Dark Lord himself. Severus had joined the death-eaters with Lucius many years before, when he had truly believed that the Dark Lord could restore the purity of their community. For too long the mud-bloods had been allowed to breed themselves into the oldest families diluting the magic bringing with them their stupid cultures and traditions. Soon many in the magic world had started to question some of their oldest traditions. No longer did the old names command the respect due to them.
Severus had found friendship for the first time in his life; he had been surrounded by men of power from families with blood-lines to equal his own. He had been happy. Until slowly it begun to change, they were no longer trying to simply re-instate the old ways, they were no longer careful not kill anyone, it became a sport, a competition to see who could kill in the most original fashion or who could kill the most people in one go, it disgusted Severus but by then he was afraid to object. He wanted them to remember their purpose, only to discover he had been mistaken about their purpose from the beginning.
The Dark Lord's ambition was not to simply re-order the magical world and return to traditional values; it had become the destruction of the entire magical world, slaying any who stood in the way, muggles and pure-bloods alike. Until the fateful night Severus had been called to stand before the Dark Lord, and prove his loyalty. But the price of loyalty had been too great; Severus had searched desperately for an alternative solution. The only one that blazed in his mind had been Dumbledore.
Severus opened his desk and retrieved a bottle of Fire-Whiskey, uncorked it and poured himself a large drink which he swallowed with a grimace then poured himself another, knowing that he would still feel just as bad in the morning, he drank himself into a stupor. "Why is my life such an inescapable mess!" he moaned.
Chapter one - Severus Remembers.
Severus Snape sat staring at the pensive on his desk. Fury seething from every pore as he thought about Potter, 'how dare he invade my privacy like that, he is nothing, no-one, God help us all if that's the saviour of the wizarding world!'
Snape stood and paced in his office, rage still burning in his stomach every time he recalled Potter looking into his memories, memories he had specifically removed from his mind just in case Potter managed to throw the Legilimens spell back at him.
"Harry Potter is an affront to the Magical community, he is not particularly smart, many wizards had more power than he does, and he is disobedient and disrespectful"
"After his first year he should have come to me on his knee's thankful for my efforts to safe his sorry life, yet not once did he thank me or even give me the respect due to someone so obviously superior to himself" ranted Snape.
"Then two years ago I put my life at risk once again to save his, but does he thank me! Does he even believe me, no he and his stupid little gang attack me and make me, ME, SEVERUS SNAPE, last of the Snape line look foolish, oh he will pay, this time he has gone to far!!!"
"I risk my life for all of them and not once do they thank me! The whole lot of them deserve to rot in hell! Bloody students most of whom have no right to be here! Filthy muggle borns and half bloods, why do I even bother?"
Snape sat down tired of the ranting, tired of the hatred, more than anything tired of the double life he led, Death-eater and confidant of Dumbledore, those two things should never have been done together. He knew that many in the order disliked and mistrusted him, some even hated him, but he didn't care, he had a debt to pay, and his father had always taught him that a Snape should never be indebted to anyone.
Snape recalled his Father, a proud and powerful wizard who bowed to no man! Snape had been raised in a large manor with his old fashioned parents, he was not sent to primary school, as they were infested with muggles, he had a private wizard tutor.
The memories of his tutor could still send a shiver down his spine, the man had been strict and unforgiving and Severus still had the marks on his legs from Master Huntington's cane. If he failed to recall a spell exactly, if he did not answer a question quickly enough or if he looked disrespectful he was rewarded by a hard whack across the legs from that cane.
He could not complain to his father, for this would have resulted in more punishment for being disrespectful to his superiors. His childhood was a blur of beatings and shouting, Snape smiled when he thought about the rumours of Potter's childhood with those muggle relative's, if only the boy knew how the rest of the world lived, Potter would not feel quite so sorry for himself.
Snape did not feel sorry for himself, in fact he was glad his Father and his Tutor had been so strict with him, after all Severus Snape was one of the top Apothecaries in the world. Few men had his knowledge of potions and few could match his determination and drive.
Severus would never have be able to stand up in front of the Dark Lord had his upbringing not made him into the type of man he was. Just as strict and unforgiving in many ways as Master Huntington, though Dumbledore would never allow him to beat his students, pity really, maybe they would actually achieve more if he did. Severus smiled darkly at this thought.
Young Malfoy's father had the right idea, like many of the older wizarding families Lucius believed in the old adage "spare the rod and spoil the child" and it showed in the respectful way that Malfoy treated him and the other Professors, well most of the other professor's.
Thinking about Draco led to thoughts of Lucius which inevitably led to thoughts of the Dark Lord himself. Severus had joined the death-eaters with Lucius many years before, when he had truly believed that the Dark Lord could restore the purity of their community. For too long the mud-bloods had been allowed to breed themselves into the oldest families diluting the magic bringing with them their stupid cultures and traditions. Soon many in the magic world had started to question some of their oldest traditions. No longer did the old names command the respect due to them.
Severus had found friendship for the first time in his life; he had been surrounded by men of power from families with blood-lines to equal his own. He had been happy. Until slowly it begun to change, they were no longer trying to simply re-instate the old ways, they were no longer careful not kill anyone, it became a sport, a competition to see who could kill in the most original fashion or who could kill the most people in one go, it disgusted Severus but by then he was afraid to object. He wanted them to remember their purpose, only to discover he had been mistaken about their purpose from the beginning.
The Dark Lord's ambition was not to simply re-order the magical world and return to traditional values; it had become the destruction of the entire magical world, slaying any who stood in the way, muggles and pure-bloods alike. Until the fateful night Severus had been called to stand before the Dark Lord, and prove his loyalty. But the price of loyalty had been too great; Severus had searched desperately for an alternative solution. The only one that blazed in his mind had been Dumbledore.
Severus opened his desk and retrieved a bottle of Fire-Whiskey, uncorked it and poured himself a large drink which he swallowed with a grimace then poured himself another, knowing that he would still feel just as bad in the morning, he drank himself into a stupor. "Why is my life such an inescapable mess!" he moaned.