Title: The Night Before
Author: Tay
Email: da1redgem@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Distribution: If you want it, just let me know first.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Lita's thoughts on the night before.
Content warning: Ideas of sexual situations.
Author's Note: This story is very different for me. I've never written anything like this before or in the first person, so give me any kind of feedback. I'd love it all, no matter how mean it may be. I hope you enjoy.
I opened my eyes.
It was real. He was still there. I thought I'd just been dreaming. I was afraid that I would wake up and he just wouldn't be there.
But there he was. Lying next to me. Sleeping like a baby. God, I just loved watching him while he slept. I loved the way his lips pursed momentarily, just so slightly. I just couldn't help but smile every time they did so. I watched him for about twenty minutes the night before, after he fell asleep.
The night before, he'd made me feel like I've never felt. Like a queen. Like no one else was important. At that moment, it was all about me. I guess, sometimes, you need to feel that way. And that's definitely how I needed to feel that night. After …
It still hurt to think about it. Everything he said to me. I looked at the ring on my left hand, and wondered why the hell I got married in the first place. He was certainly right about a few things. I really was stupid. Stupid if I couldn't see the kind of person he was when I married him. Stupid for not listening to everyone when they told me not to get married so soon. But NO! He was supposed to be the man of my dreams, it was supposed to be the right thing to do. I told them they didn't know the real him. I knew the real him. And I knew he wasn't as bad as they thought he was and he loved me. I was blind. Blinded by my eagerness to be with someone. To not be alone …
I should have just taken things slow. Gotten a chance to really get to know him before he told me all of those cruel things. And they're all ringing through my head. Nobody in their right mind would love you … you're just a sex toy.
I didn't know what was worse. Walking in on him with that whore Jackie Gayda or having him tell me all those things …right there …. in front of her. I was pretty sure it was the latter though. I could still here her laughing in the background. And his harsh voice over her laughter.
You're a slut.
I married you to have you around when I wanted a quickie.
You're good for nothing.
A year ago, that would have been the last thing I expected to hear from him. The sweetest, most caring man I've ever known. Sweet despite what he appeared to be.
I guess I never really knew Randy Orton.
I'd always wanted someone to tell me they loved me. When I saw Stacy and Andrew after RAW tapings I was jealous. Whenever I saw Billy and Torrie, I just longed for that loving feeling. Whenever I was in the same room as Paul and Steph and felt the love vibes they shared, I wanted to cry. I wanted to be given flowers for no reason. To be kissed for no reason. And the day he comforted me after finding me in the hall, crying about my loveless life, I just couldn't resist. I fell into his trap. He played the game well with me as his favorite pawn to use. But now that I realize, all I can say is …
Checkmate.
He lost. I slid the ring off my finger now. There was no point in wearing it. Wearing a lie. I decided to call the divorce lawyer as soon as possible. The night before I was hurt and confused, but at that moment I was just angry. Livid. It seemed as though I could even feel the blood boiling inside of me.
I nearly jumped out of the bed as he turned over on his side, his back now to me. All my hurt and anger was replaced with amusement as I watched him wrap his arms around the pillow, and hug it tight. I just couldn't believe he could make me feel the way the way he did that night. Give me so many of the things I've wanted in just one night. And what was even more funny was that I wasn't even expecting this when I came over.
I just wanted someone to talk. I needed to hear someone tell me that everything Randy said wasn't true, even if they didn't mean it. Because I was definitely believing it. But when he told me it wasn't true, I knew he wasn't telling a lie. I could feel it in his touch. The way he caressed my face and wiped away the tears. So gentle. And his voice was so sincere. I could hear his contempt for Randy, but still hear his concern for me. The sweet, yet angry tone of his voice entering me. He made me believe that I was wonderful. I was worth it. God only knows how he did that. Not just that time, but other times, he'd made me feel like the world. More precious than gold or silver. More valuable than life …
When I finally managed to bring my eyes to his, this rush of emotions overcame me. I was feeling so many things, just from the look in his eyes. And then I wondered why I'd never seen it before. Why had I'd ignored everything that was so obvious? Everything that I'd stayed up late crying for … it was right there in his eyes.
He loved me.
And it was more than just a friendly thing. I thought back to everything up to my wedding. The looks. I hadn't really paid attention to them before. The looks he would give Randy. I would always just excuse them as looks of dislike. He'd never liked Randy. But those looks were much more than simple dislike. More like a mixture of hatred and possibly … jealousy. Then there were the countless times he told me not to marry Randy. Almost begging me not to. And my wedding day. He'd smile at me and all. But I could tell that he was unhappy. Why had I ignored it? I guess I never thought it was possible that he would act like that because he just didn't like Randy, but because he might … love me.
That hadn't made sense to me. I'd always thought of him as one of the sweetest guys in the world. Incredibly amazing. I was lucky to have him as my best friend. And in a way, I'd thought he was too good to be with someone like me. He was just another one of those guys that Randy was talking about. The ones that don't need you. But I saw it. The night before, I saw the impossible in his eyes. It was so apparent, one of the obvious things.
I couldn't move when I realized. I just stared into his eyes, my eyes wide, the last tear slowly trailing down my cheek. My breathing was increasing as he slowly approached. Yea, I was scared, but I wasn't about to move. All I could do as he lowered his lips to my face was let my eyes flutter shut. Even the slightest kiss on my cheek had me going crazy. At that moment I felt myself melting. He hadn't even kissed my lips, but I was already over the edge. My lips were trembling. I loved the feel of his lips. So soft and gentle. I kept my eyes closed, finding myself leaning into it. And I couldn't help but be a little disappointed as he pulled away. I was in a trance, unable to move, afraid I'd fall down or pass out from this moment of rapture.
Sticking my tongue out, I swiped it along my lips subconsciously. Moments after my tongue had re-entered my mouth, his lips were on mine. I'd expected this, prepared myself for this, but was still caught off guard when it happened. My knees went weak for the first time. I felt like nothing bad had ever happened. I was blissful at that moment. I had stopped believing it was possible to feel that way, but it was happening, I was feeling it. He must have known because he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me flush against him. I still couldn't react. Just allow him to do what he wanted to do. This kiss was somewhat rougher than the kiss on the cheek but still soft and tender. I was in heaven right then.
He swiped his tongue on my bottom lip, imploring me to let it in. I couldn't help but comply and part my lips. My lips were trembling again, no matter how hard I was trying to keep them from doing so. His hands were now exploring every part of my back and sides. I followed suit, trailing my hands up his arm, behind his head and neck. The kiss was becoming rougher, with much more passion, and my lips were sore. But I didn't care. I couldn't stop. I couldn't help but continue in that breathtaking, fervent kiss. I didn't even know how long I'd been kissing him. And that's when it hit me.
All along, I'd felt something for him. Deep down, I felt something more than friendship. My lack of self-assurance kept me from realizing it. I wouldn't have been standing there, unable to stop kissing him if I didn't feel something for him.
Things were just going by unnoticed as I kissed him. I hadn't realized that he'd lifted me off the ground and begun carrying me to a bed. And I couldn't even resist. What scared me more was that I didn't want to. I wanted this so bad. I knew that he would make me feel that pleasure that I needed. He'd stimulate everything in me. I knew he was the only one who could do that for me. No one else, just him.
And there I was, there we were. The next morning after a night of pure bliss. My pain had been healed to some extent. Not once had I thought of Randy or what he'd done while we were making love. I'd never been more grateful for anything. I didn't know exactly what I was feeling right then. The feeling pretty strong wasn't quite love, but close enough. That feeling had been building up inside of me and it was finally out. I'd finally realized it. But if it was going to lead to something more, I wanted to take it slow. Get a chance to know everything I hadn't known about him. But I had a feeling it wasn't going to end up like my joke of a marriage.
He stretched his arms out. I was glad he was finally awake. It wasn't fun to just sit there and think. I could see the sleep still in his face after he turned over.
"Hey beautiful. Why are you just staring at me?" he asked, squinting at me. And I was smiling again. It was becoming a habit suddenly.
"I woke up early, so I decided to watch you. I love watching you sleep. You're so adorable." I couldn't help but run my fingers through his hair. I had to take the opportunity to just touch him. And I loved the way he smiled at me, with his eyes half-open. But all my thoughts were bugging me. All the realizations. I needed to ask him, ask him if this is right. I needed to know exactly how he felt.
"Jeff?" His ears perked at the tone of my voice. He knew whatever I was about to say was serious. "Jeff, I need to know how you really feel about me. I need to know that last night wasn't just meaningless sex for you. I need to know that it meant more." I searched his very alert eyes for any kind of reactions to my questions. I couldn't really tell what I was seeing. He sat up. I sat up along with him, pulling the sheet up and around me. Chills were going through my spine. I couldn't help but worry that everything I thought I'd felt the night before wasn't real. He was taking so long to answer. And then he looked into my eyes.
"Amy, ever since the first moment I saw you, I began to fall in love with you. There's been so many girls before you, but they don't have what you have. There's just something about you that I can't resist. And I decided before … when I realized that you might not feel the same way about me … I decided that even if I couldn't be with you, I just wanted to be near you. I wouldn't be mad at you or anything because I just loved you too much. I couldn't stay away from you." He paused to wipe away the tear that had fallen down my cheek. I didn't know if I could hear anymore without breaking down in tears.
"Ames, it killed me to watch you marry Randy. I wondered why it couldn't be me that you were marrying. If I'd just told you how I felt, maybe you would have changed your mind. That's what I thought every day afterwards. But then I realized the reason that I'd never told you was because you were always too good for me." I smiled. How unbelievable was it that his reason for never telling me was my reason for never facing the fact that I felt this way about him?
"Last night, when you came to me, I wasn't thinking this would be a good opportunity for me to sleep with you. When I saw all those tears and the pain on your face, I wanted to kill Randy. But I wanted to be there for you first. When you were telling me everything, I figured out what you needed. You needed someone to show you love. And instead of telling you how much I loved you, I decided to show you." That's when I lost it. I couldn't help it. All the tears flowed freely. I threw myself in his arms. He knew everything that I'd wanted and he'd given it to me. I knew everything he'd just told me was true. I could feel it in my heart.
A few minutes had gone by. He just continued to hold me close without a word. "I'm calling the divorce lawyer today." I said breaking that silence, but still holding onto to him. Not once had he given any sign that he wanted to let me go.
"And I'll be right there with you, every step of the way." That was all I needed to hear. I was ready to move on just like that. Forget about Randy. Forget about my sadness. Forget about my longing. I was ready to move on with him.
I pushed away from him, staring him hard in the eyes. "But before I do that, can you show me how much you love me again?" And it was pretty obvious that he knew what I was hinting at as he overtook me with a vicious kiss … laying me down … making love to me …
Author's Note: Okay, that one was definitely really different for me. Let me know what you think. I had to write this one because I had to experiment with some new ideas and styles. Besides, I'm trying to figure out where I want to go in my other stories, so I'm putting this out there in the meanwhile. Review, please …..
Author: Tay
Email: da1redgem@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.
Distribution: If you want it, just let me know first.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Lita's thoughts on the night before.
Content warning: Ideas of sexual situations.
Author's Note: This story is very different for me. I've never written anything like this before or in the first person, so give me any kind of feedback. I'd love it all, no matter how mean it may be. I hope you enjoy.
I opened my eyes.
It was real. He was still there. I thought I'd just been dreaming. I was afraid that I would wake up and he just wouldn't be there.
But there he was. Lying next to me. Sleeping like a baby. God, I just loved watching him while he slept. I loved the way his lips pursed momentarily, just so slightly. I just couldn't help but smile every time they did so. I watched him for about twenty minutes the night before, after he fell asleep.
The night before, he'd made me feel like I've never felt. Like a queen. Like no one else was important. At that moment, it was all about me. I guess, sometimes, you need to feel that way. And that's definitely how I needed to feel that night. After …
It still hurt to think about it. Everything he said to me. I looked at the ring on my left hand, and wondered why the hell I got married in the first place. He was certainly right about a few things. I really was stupid. Stupid if I couldn't see the kind of person he was when I married him. Stupid for not listening to everyone when they told me not to get married so soon. But NO! He was supposed to be the man of my dreams, it was supposed to be the right thing to do. I told them they didn't know the real him. I knew the real him. And I knew he wasn't as bad as they thought he was and he loved me. I was blind. Blinded by my eagerness to be with someone. To not be alone …
I should have just taken things slow. Gotten a chance to really get to know him before he told me all of those cruel things. And they're all ringing through my head. Nobody in their right mind would love you … you're just a sex toy.
I didn't know what was worse. Walking in on him with that whore Jackie Gayda or having him tell me all those things …right there …. in front of her. I was pretty sure it was the latter though. I could still here her laughing in the background. And his harsh voice over her laughter.
You're a slut.
I married you to have you around when I wanted a quickie.
You're good for nothing.
A year ago, that would have been the last thing I expected to hear from him. The sweetest, most caring man I've ever known. Sweet despite what he appeared to be.
I guess I never really knew Randy Orton.
I'd always wanted someone to tell me they loved me. When I saw Stacy and Andrew after RAW tapings I was jealous. Whenever I saw Billy and Torrie, I just longed for that loving feeling. Whenever I was in the same room as Paul and Steph and felt the love vibes they shared, I wanted to cry. I wanted to be given flowers for no reason. To be kissed for no reason. And the day he comforted me after finding me in the hall, crying about my loveless life, I just couldn't resist. I fell into his trap. He played the game well with me as his favorite pawn to use. But now that I realize, all I can say is …
Checkmate.
He lost. I slid the ring off my finger now. There was no point in wearing it. Wearing a lie. I decided to call the divorce lawyer as soon as possible. The night before I was hurt and confused, but at that moment I was just angry. Livid. It seemed as though I could even feel the blood boiling inside of me.
I nearly jumped out of the bed as he turned over on his side, his back now to me. All my hurt and anger was replaced with amusement as I watched him wrap his arms around the pillow, and hug it tight. I just couldn't believe he could make me feel the way the way he did that night. Give me so many of the things I've wanted in just one night. And what was even more funny was that I wasn't even expecting this when I came over.
I just wanted someone to talk. I needed to hear someone tell me that everything Randy said wasn't true, even if they didn't mean it. Because I was definitely believing it. But when he told me it wasn't true, I knew he wasn't telling a lie. I could feel it in his touch. The way he caressed my face and wiped away the tears. So gentle. And his voice was so sincere. I could hear his contempt for Randy, but still hear his concern for me. The sweet, yet angry tone of his voice entering me. He made me believe that I was wonderful. I was worth it. God only knows how he did that. Not just that time, but other times, he'd made me feel like the world. More precious than gold or silver. More valuable than life …
When I finally managed to bring my eyes to his, this rush of emotions overcame me. I was feeling so many things, just from the look in his eyes. And then I wondered why I'd never seen it before. Why had I'd ignored everything that was so obvious? Everything that I'd stayed up late crying for … it was right there in his eyes.
He loved me.
And it was more than just a friendly thing. I thought back to everything up to my wedding. The looks. I hadn't really paid attention to them before. The looks he would give Randy. I would always just excuse them as looks of dislike. He'd never liked Randy. But those looks were much more than simple dislike. More like a mixture of hatred and possibly … jealousy. Then there were the countless times he told me not to marry Randy. Almost begging me not to. And my wedding day. He'd smile at me and all. But I could tell that he was unhappy. Why had I ignored it? I guess I never thought it was possible that he would act like that because he just didn't like Randy, but because he might … love me.
That hadn't made sense to me. I'd always thought of him as one of the sweetest guys in the world. Incredibly amazing. I was lucky to have him as my best friend. And in a way, I'd thought he was too good to be with someone like me. He was just another one of those guys that Randy was talking about. The ones that don't need you. But I saw it. The night before, I saw the impossible in his eyes. It was so apparent, one of the obvious things.
I couldn't move when I realized. I just stared into his eyes, my eyes wide, the last tear slowly trailing down my cheek. My breathing was increasing as he slowly approached. Yea, I was scared, but I wasn't about to move. All I could do as he lowered his lips to my face was let my eyes flutter shut. Even the slightest kiss on my cheek had me going crazy. At that moment I felt myself melting. He hadn't even kissed my lips, but I was already over the edge. My lips were trembling. I loved the feel of his lips. So soft and gentle. I kept my eyes closed, finding myself leaning into it. And I couldn't help but be a little disappointed as he pulled away. I was in a trance, unable to move, afraid I'd fall down or pass out from this moment of rapture.
Sticking my tongue out, I swiped it along my lips subconsciously. Moments after my tongue had re-entered my mouth, his lips were on mine. I'd expected this, prepared myself for this, but was still caught off guard when it happened. My knees went weak for the first time. I felt like nothing bad had ever happened. I was blissful at that moment. I had stopped believing it was possible to feel that way, but it was happening, I was feeling it. He must have known because he placed his hands on my waist and pulled me flush against him. I still couldn't react. Just allow him to do what he wanted to do. This kiss was somewhat rougher than the kiss on the cheek but still soft and tender. I was in heaven right then.
He swiped his tongue on my bottom lip, imploring me to let it in. I couldn't help but comply and part my lips. My lips were trembling again, no matter how hard I was trying to keep them from doing so. His hands were now exploring every part of my back and sides. I followed suit, trailing my hands up his arm, behind his head and neck. The kiss was becoming rougher, with much more passion, and my lips were sore. But I didn't care. I couldn't stop. I couldn't help but continue in that breathtaking, fervent kiss. I didn't even know how long I'd been kissing him. And that's when it hit me.
All along, I'd felt something for him. Deep down, I felt something more than friendship. My lack of self-assurance kept me from realizing it. I wouldn't have been standing there, unable to stop kissing him if I didn't feel something for him.
Things were just going by unnoticed as I kissed him. I hadn't realized that he'd lifted me off the ground and begun carrying me to a bed. And I couldn't even resist. What scared me more was that I didn't want to. I wanted this so bad. I knew that he would make me feel that pleasure that I needed. He'd stimulate everything in me. I knew he was the only one who could do that for me. No one else, just him.
And there I was, there we were. The next morning after a night of pure bliss. My pain had been healed to some extent. Not once had I thought of Randy or what he'd done while we were making love. I'd never been more grateful for anything. I didn't know exactly what I was feeling right then. The feeling pretty strong wasn't quite love, but close enough. That feeling had been building up inside of me and it was finally out. I'd finally realized it. But if it was going to lead to something more, I wanted to take it slow. Get a chance to know everything I hadn't known about him. But I had a feeling it wasn't going to end up like my joke of a marriage.
He stretched his arms out. I was glad he was finally awake. It wasn't fun to just sit there and think. I could see the sleep still in his face after he turned over.
"Hey beautiful. Why are you just staring at me?" he asked, squinting at me. And I was smiling again. It was becoming a habit suddenly.
"I woke up early, so I decided to watch you. I love watching you sleep. You're so adorable." I couldn't help but run my fingers through his hair. I had to take the opportunity to just touch him. And I loved the way he smiled at me, with his eyes half-open. But all my thoughts were bugging me. All the realizations. I needed to ask him, ask him if this is right. I needed to know exactly how he felt.
"Jeff?" His ears perked at the tone of my voice. He knew whatever I was about to say was serious. "Jeff, I need to know how you really feel about me. I need to know that last night wasn't just meaningless sex for you. I need to know that it meant more." I searched his very alert eyes for any kind of reactions to my questions. I couldn't really tell what I was seeing. He sat up. I sat up along with him, pulling the sheet up and around me. Chills were going through my spine. I couldn't help but worry that everything I thought I'd felt the night before wasn't real. He was taking so long to answer. And then he looked into my eyes.
"Amy, ever since the first moment I saw you, I began to fall in love with you. There's been so many girls before you, but they don't have what you have. There's just something about you that I can't resist. And I decided before … when I realized that you might not feel the same way about me … I decided that even if I couldn't be with you, I just wanted to be near you. I wouldn't be mad at you or anything because I just loved you too much. I couldn't stay away from you." He paused to wipe away the tear that had fallen down my cheek. I didn't know if I could hear anymore without breaking down in tears.
"Ames, it killed me to watch you marry Randy. I wondered why it couldn't be me that you were marrying. If I'd just told you how I felt, maybe you would have changed your mind. That's what I thought every day afterwards. But then I realized the reason that I'd never told you was because you were always too good for me." I smiled. How unbelievable was it that his reason for never telling me was my reason for never facing the fact that I felt this way about him?
"Last night, when you came to me, I wasn't thinking this would be a good opportunity for me to sleep with you. When I saw all those tears and the pain on your face, I wanted to kill Randy. But I wanted to be there for you first. When you were telling me everything, I figured out what you needed. You needed someone to show you love. And instead of telling you how much I loved you, I decided to show you." That's when I lost it. I couldn't help it. All the tears flowed freely. I threw myself in his arms. He knew everything that I'd wanted and he'd given it to me. I knew everything he'd just told me was true. I could feel it in my heart.
A few minutes had gone by. He just continued to hold me close without a word. "I'm calling the divorce lawyer today." I said breaking that silence, but still holding onto to him. Not once had he given any sign that he wanted to let me go.
"And I'll be right there with you, every step of the way." That was all I needed to hear. I was ready to move on just like that. Forget about Randy. Forget about my sadness. Forget about my longing. I was ready to move on with him.
I pushed away from him, staring him hard in the eyes. "But before I do that, can you show me how much you love me again?" And it was pretty obvious that he knew what I was hinting at as he overtook me with a vicious kiss … laying me down … making love to me …
Author's Note: Okay, that one was definitely really different for me. Let me know what you think. I had to write this one because I had to experiment with some new ideas and styles. Besides, I'm trying to figure out where I want to go in my other stories, so I'm putting this out there in the meanwhile. Review, please …..