Revealing the Past
A/N: You asked for it... so, here it is...
Warnings: abuse, rape/non-con, um... I'm not sure if there's others...
Severus quirked an eyebrow, his eyes already darkening. "What didn't they do to you, Harry?"
"Kill me."
Severus's expression darkened with murderous rage. If the only thing those muggles hadn't done to him was kill him, that left a lot of open territory that Severus wasn't sure he wanted to explore.
Pushing away his rage for a moment, he asked, "Will you talk about it?"
Harry stilled, before he looked at Severus and gave a reluctant nod. "I think I probably should."
***
Harry sat up straighter, pulling away from Severus slightly. He licked his lips and shot a pleading look at Severus.
"What's the matter?"
"I don't know where to start."
"The beginning is always a good choice."
"That's the problem, I don't know where the beginning is."
"It's been going on your whole life?"
"Parts of it, yes. Other parts are more recent."
"Then find a place that's a comfortable start for you."
Harry nodded. He took a deep breath and started talking.
"You know, they used to keep me in the cupboard under the stairs. I was something to be hidden, almost like a slave. By the time I was six I could cook and clean almost better than Aunt Petunia. I knew how to take care of the lawn and gardens. One morning, I had asked where my parents were. I was told they'd died in a car crash, and to not ask questions. That was the first rule, 'don't ask questions'.
"Sometimes, funny things would happen. One morning, I had gotten mad, I don't remember why, but I was furious, and all of the glasses shattered and the electrical appliances in the kitchen just stopped working. That was the first time something weird had happened. We were banned from talking about it. I had tried to talk about it, but Uncle Vernon's fist quickly met with my cheek. I never tried to talk about it again.
"We weren't allowed to say 'magic', ever. The first time I did, I was banned to the cupboard for a week, no food or water. I'd have to sneak out at night to steal some from the kitchen and go to the bathroom. If I got caught, I would be beat. I have to say this, when there's physical pain involved, I'm a fast learner.
"I always got Dudley's old clothes, and sometimes, if I was lucky, I'd get one of his broken toys. He had this second bedroom that was for just his toys, they moved me up there after I started getting my letters for Hogwarts. God, those letters caused me so much trouble. I almost began to hate whoever was sending them, until I found out what they were for.
"The beatings had lessened the next summer, because they didn't know that I wasn't allowed to do magic outside of school. Then Dobby came along and floated the pudding bowl with magic, and the ministry blamed it on me. Boy, was Uncle Vernon pissed. The bruises hadn't even totally faded by the time I came back to Hogwarts, but they were easy enough to keep hidden.
"Then the next summer, they learned about Sirius. They pretty much left me alone, unless something 'freakish' happened."
"'Freakish'."
Harry turned toward Severus. "Anything unnatural or unusual for a muggle."
"Ah."
Harry turned back toward the fire, closing his eyes slightly. "Then the summer before last, it got bad. It got real bad.
"I don't know why it happened. I think I have some sign hanging over me or something. One declaring I'm someone to fuck over, under, and sideways."
There was a sharp inhalation of breath, but Harry ignored it, and continued talking. "It seems like everyone's trying to fuck me one way or another. Figuratively speaking, and literally, of course. The first to fuck me over figuratively, would probably be Voldemort. The first literally, Dudley.
"He came into my room one night, when Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were out of town visiting friends. They had told him that he could, and I quote, 'punish Harry as you see fit'. I'll tell you something, it had hurt worse than the pain I can remember from the Crutatius. The next day, his friends came over. When they got back, I was too sore to really be able to do anything properly. So I was punish. Then Uncle Vernon found out about 'Dudley's form of punishment'.
"They took turns."
He had started to shiver, but he hadn't noticed until the arms around him tightened minutely. He leaned against Severus, his head on Severus's shoulder. He continued to talk.
"I never did tell anyone. I didn't tell Ron or Hermione, because it's just another way that I'm different from them and I didn't want their pity. I don't know what I'd do if they ever looked at me in pity and I saw it. I didn't tell Sirius, he had other problems that summer, then he died at the end of last year. Remus has his own problems. Mrs. Weasley has seven children to worry about, she doesn't need another one. Dumbledore and McGonagall would look at me with pity.
"The coffee was thrown in my face because I had tired of just putting up with it. The night before, Dudley had been in my room again, but this time, when he would bite me, I bit him back. I think I left marks and broke the skin, it pissed him off. So, the next morning, his birthday, he threw hot coffee in my face. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't do anything. They only said anything when I started cussing, then they told me to watch my mouth." He let out a bitter chuckle. "I was locked in my room for three day, I think. When they let me out, they found out that I had gone blind. They were not happy. I got a fresh beating because they figured it was my fault.
"I was beat everyday for a month, because I couldn't do my regular chores. It got so bad that I finally kind of 'wished' my self to Hogwarts. I hadn't realize that was what had happened till we were in the infirmary."
Harry closed his eyes. "There. That's my story, sketchy as it is. I could probably tell you how many times and positions, but I think I'd rather leave that alone."
Picks back up in The Halls of the Blind, Chapter Nine, Releasing the Past.
A/N: So there it is. ... Um, yeah, I'm evil, I know. Was it better or worse than you expected?