The Halls of the Blind
Chapter Eleven
It's a Long, Hard Road.
One woman in three. One man in four. Teach our children that love respects boundaries. I am a survivor, not a victim.
A/N: A lot of alluding to certain... events in this chapter... mainly Halliy-Jayde's past. I don't know if we'll ever know her full past, but, we gotta take what we get, I guess.
A Typical Snarry Fan: No, not necessarily. I'm going by the way Lily and James looked in the movie. They looked mid to late 20s... maybe early 30s... So, if Sirius had a child not too long out of Hogwarts, and they had theirs 7, 8 years later... then, this could work.
Vana E: Okay... I'm only going to do that last part... about Draco. He was kicked out and disowned b/c his mother is actually muggle born. And we all know how Lucius is about Pure Bloods, I mean, where do you think Draco learned it all?
athenakitty: lol... you get a few of your answers in this chapter...
Evelia: I know... I hate it too... all will be well... in the end... or sooner...
On with the chapter:
Harry blinked. "What?"
She smirked. "Which part didn't you understand?"
"You're Sirius's daughter?"
She nodded slowly. "Yeah. I am. He was sent to Azkaban when I was eight, I believe. We were tentatively reestablishing our father-daughter relationship. He talked about you a lot, you made him proud."
"He never mentioned you, or that he had a daughter."
"He wouldn't have, would he? I think I was a bit of a disappointment."
"A disappointment? How could a daughter be a disappointment?"
"I am, was, a courtesan."
"A what?"
"Courtesan. A respectable whore with wealthy or upper-class clients."
Harry blushed. "Oh."
She laughed. "My God, you're embarrassed."
Harry shrugged. "Nothing new. I still don't see why he wouldn't have mentioned that he had a daughter."
She shrugged. "We'll never know." She linked her arm through Harry's and dragged him back toward the couch and armchair. Remus followed silently behind them. "Now, Professor Snape asked me to come down here and talk to you."
Harry stopped and glowered. "Why?"
"Something about our pasts." She answered offhandedly. "Ooh... lemon drops. I haven't had one since I was here in my Seventh Year."
Harry smiled. "Have one."
"Thanks, I think I will." She popped one in her mouth.
"You said Sev-Snape asked you to come here?"
She raised her eyebrow, but didn't comment on his almost slip. "Yes, actually, he did. He rarely ever asks for me to come here, especially for a student. Okay, so he's never asked me to come here for a student." She looked at Harry to gauge his reaction. "You must be something special for him to ask me."
"Not really... I'm just Harry," he said, and turned his face toward the fireplace.
She ignored the comment. "You know, I never knew my mother. She died giving birth to me."
"Then who took care of you when Sirius went to Azkaban?"
"Uncle Remus did, for a time. Then I ran away and started trying to take care of myself."
"How come?"
She shrugged. "I was angry, resentful, hurt. They had taken away the person that had meant the most to me, and Uncle Remus also believed that Papa had been guilty."
"Where did you go?"
"Where? Where else? Knockturn Alley. I lived on the streets for awhile, not a pleasant experience."
"How did you get to America?"
"The Malfoys. Rich, respected... Lucius had taken me in after he sampled my, ah, talents. They sent me to a school in America where I met Carolyn, they brought me back over in my third year and had me go to Hogwarts. Carolyn's parents allowed her to come with and stay at Hogwarts with me."
"Oh. Um... I heard that you and Charlie..."
"Were together? And so we are. We got together in my fifth year. Lucius wasn't happy when he found out. Kicked me out, he did. I found myself staying at The Burrow during holidays the next few years or with Charlie in Romania."
"When did Lucius take you in?"
"A few months after I turned ten. I had been on the streets about two years, a whore for most of it. He took me in and I became a Courtesan. Definitely more comfortable, and I could pick and choose my clients, and I had a safe word."
"Safe word?"
"A word I could say that would mean they had to stop. I didn't have one when I was on the streets."
Harry nodded. "How come you weren't at The Burrow with Charlie the few times he was there?"
"Potions experiments. In your Fourth year I had stayed at The Burrow with the others between your first and second task. I came to the first. You're good on a broom. Carolyn told me when you made Seeker in your first year. She was envious that you weren't in Slytherin."
"Sirius was a Gryffindor, and you were a Slytherin... what house was your mum in?"
"Ravenclaw. The hat almost put me in Ravenclaw, but it decided on Slytherin."
"Your mum... were her and Sirius married?"
"No. It had been a one time fling. They were drunk, they shagged, I was the result. They gave me his last name though."
"Did Snape-"
"He never gave me crap for being Sirius's daughter. He never gave me crap for being Remus's niece. Never gave me crap for dating a Weasley. He figured I had enough to be getting on with."
"Like what?"
"Getting through my past. Getting over what Lucius's careful tutelage can do to a person, what the streets can do to a person." She smiled. "Professor Snape is actually the one who forbid me from being a Courtesan during my last years at Hogwarts. I never did get into it again. Not that Charlie would have allowed it either."
"So, you and Snape-"
"Have a friendly work relationship. I send him my Potion theories, he goes through and sees if there might be any flaws and actually brews them when I can't. What about you and Professor Snape?"
"Student-teacher, nothing more, anything less."
She knew there was something more, but didn't touch the subject. Yet. "I found out an interesting statistic when I was your age."
"Statistic? What kind of statistic?"
"One in every three women, and one in every four men are victims of sexual abuse. At least, it was then. I don't know how much it's changed. Probably not much."
"R-really? There's that many?"
She nodded. "Really. You know, they call us victims."
"Aren't we?"
"Depends. I am a survivor, not a victim. I've dealt with it. I may still have the physical and mental scars, but they don't consume me anymore." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Wanna talk to me? Make that transition from a victim to a survivor?"
"What do you want me to talk about?"
"Your past. I'll tell you the rest of mine. I'll be as vague or as detailed as you want me to be, but I want to hear about your past."
Harry thought for a moment and nodded. "Alright. You first."
She smiled. "Figured." She leaned back into the couch and laced her fingers behind her head. "Ok. I told you that Papa went to Azkaban when I was eight..."
***
"So, wait, you and Professor Snape aren't student-teacher?"
"No, we are. I just want it to be more, but..."
"But he pushed you away."
Harry nodded. "Yeah. Draco says it's probably because he doesn't want to hurt me."
She looked at him for a second, then made her decision. She spoke slowly, weighing the words before they left her mouth. "I think that may be part of the problem, but... He's been hurt, Harry. He's been hurt real bad. It's... difficult for him to... open up and.... trust, and to do it again... He may be afraid of being hurt again. I don't blame him, really. I pushed Charlie away at first. Snape kind of helped me and Charlie out. Snape taught me how to trust again. Charlie taught me how to love." She looked at the fire. "Severus Snape is an amazing, wonderful man once you get through his cold exterior, Harry, but a very scarred one. He has to know, has to believe, that he isn't going to be hurt again, that you aren't going to leave him."
"How do I do that? Convince him, I mean."
She shook her head. "You don't, not really. Just be tenacious. And stick by him. By doing that, you can convince him that you're not going anywhere. Telling him that you're not going anywhere might help too. But Harry," her green eyes turned to Harry, "you better make sure you mean it. Be sure you love the greasy bastard. He's been through enough."
"How do you know this?"
She sat back. "He told me about his past to get me to confide in him."
"Like you did with me."
Her lips quirked and she nodded. "Yes, it works well."
Harry bit his lower lip. "Will you tell me what happened to him?"
She shook her head. "It's not my place, Harry. Just like it's not my place to tell anyone else what you told me. I, frankly, don't care who knows about my past. But some people like to keep it between themselves and a select few."
Harry nodded. "I understand. Thank you though."
She smiled. "No problem. Anything more you'd like to ask?"
Harry smiled a truly wicked smile.
***
Draco and Hermione walked in to the sound of laughter resonating in Harry's room.
"So then, Snape transfigured Carolyn into this little black kitten, and she just sat there, stunned. We called her kitten for years after that. We still do."
The Halliy-Jayde and Harry both turned toward the door after Pelikara hissed to Harry. Remus turned to look as well.
Harry spoke first. "Draco, Hermione. Come in and join us."
Halliy-Jayde smirked. "Well, well, well... If it isn't Little Master Malfoy, all grown up."
Hermione glared at her before realizing that she was smiling. Hermione's brow had furrowed in confusion and she looked at Draco.
"Jay?"
Halliy-Jayde nodded. "The last time I saw you, squirt, you were still proclaiming that girls had cooties."
Draco snorted. "You're the one that told me they did. I was young and impressionable, it was hardly my fault."
"Still think they have cooties?"
"No, but it was fun to believe when it lasted."
Hermione looked between Draco and Halliy-Jayde and then looked at Harry. "Harry, what-?"
"Halliy-Jayde, this is Hermione Granger. Hermione, this is Halliy-Jayde Marrie Black, Sirius's daughter."
Hermione's eyes flew back to Halliy-Jayde. "The author of 'Curative Potions'."
Halliy-Jayde nodded. "I heard from Professor Snape that you guys were brewing the Sanctification Draught for Harry here. I'm impressed that you're even attempting. I'll be even more impressed if you do it successfully. Professor Snape said he wasn't helping you."
"No, he's not. And, even though it's above N.E.W.T. standards, I think I can manage it. The instructions are quite clear and easy to follow."
Halliy-Jayde raised an eyebrow. "I think that's a compliment to my work, and I'll take it as such. I heard you brewed the Polyjuice Potion in your second year, is that true?"
Hermione nodded. "Yes, it is, actually. We, um, used it to get into the Slytherin common room and question Draco."
Draco looked at her. "Crabbe and Goyle, right?"
Hermione nodded.
Draco raised his eyebrows. "Your plan?"
Hermione nodded again.
Draco laughed. "No wonder you were put into Slytherin the second time around."
Halliy-Jayde smiled. "I heard it was the 'Hogwarts Trio' and I know Draco never was part of it... Where's the Weasel?"
Hermione looked at Harry and answered. "He's not talking to us."
"Ron's not talking to you? Why not?"
"We're Slytherins."
"And now friends with Draco," Harry added.
Halliy-Jayde frowned. "I don't understand what either of those have to do with him not talking to you."
Draco shrugged. "He doesn't like me, at all."
Halliy-Jayde snorted. "That really doesn't surprise me, Dray. Though, I have to admit, you're not as bad as I thought you'd be."
Draco glared but said nothing.
Hermione poked him in the side. "'Dray'? And did she call you 'squirt' earlier?"
Hie scowl only deepened.
***
There was a knock on Severus's door.
"Enter." He called, not looking up from the stack of papers in front of him.
"Severus?"
Severus looked up. "Harry."
"I just had a question."
"Then ask it."
"Why did you ask Halliy-Jayde to come down here? Really? I know it was so could talk to someone who might understand, but... She said you'd never asked her to come down her and talk to a student before. So, why now? Why for me?"
Severus nodded. "Sit down, Harry."
Harry sat down across from him, his legs pulled up underneath him.
"I asked her to come down, because I thought she could help, as you know. She's been through some of what you have. Though in different settings, the principle is the same. I have never asked her to come here before now, but I did so this time because I figured I wouldn't be enough to help you."
"She's Sirius Black's daughter."
Snape raised an eyebrow. "That's a problem?"
"Not by itself, no. But, she told me, you never hated her because of who her parents were. Sirius was just as bad to you as my father. But you used to hate me because of my dad. So, why is it one way, and not the other? Why did you hate me, but not her?"
"I never hated you, Harry. I hated the memories that seeing you brought up. The fact that you were a Potter."
"So, you still don't like seeing me?"
"You don't look as much like him now, as you did when you first came to my class. You've got your own look about you. You look like yourself, not James. Not Potter, but Harry."
"I heard what you did for Halliy-Jayde."
Severus smirked. "She was one of the best students I've ever taught. It would have been a shame for all of that to go to waste."
"You encouraged her relationship with Charlie, didn't you?" Halliy-Jayde had told him as much.
Severus raised an eyebrow. "I might have."
Harry nodded. "It probably did save her a world of pain." Harry sent up a prayer that Halliy-Jayde's advice would work and he raised his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, Severus. Even when you push me away, I'm not going anywhere." Before Severus could say anything to that, Harry asked, "Do you think Hermione will brew the potion right?"
"I have no doubt about it."
Harry nodded, worrying at his lower lip. "I thought so."
Severus looked at Harry for a moment, then spoke. "You're not sure if you want your sight back."
***
That night, Severus went to Harry's rooms with Halliy-Jayde, Remus, Draco, and Hermione.
As the night wore on, Hermione and Draco excused themselves to check on the potion and then be in the common room before curfew.
Halliy-Jayde and Remus left, not too long after for Hogsmeade.
That left Severus and Harry alone, again.
"Why do you think you'll hurt me?"
Severus moved his eyes from the fire to Harry. He sighed. "Harry-"
"Draco said it was because of the shadows in my eyes, they make me seem fragile. Is he right?"
There was silence and then a defeated sigh. "Yes."
Harry turned toward him. "If I was fragile, Severus, do you think I would have survived? Do you think that I would still be here? Still talking to you?"
Severus closed his eyes then reopened them. "No, I guess you wouldn't be."
Harry nodded. "Well, that's a start. I bet you still think you'll hurt me. Can we still try, though? I'll even set the pace. Or you can."
"Harry-"
"I'm not asking for sex, Severus. I'm asking for you."
Severus's lips quirked. "And what will happen when you have me?"
"Whatever we want. I said it once, Severus, and I'll say it again and again. I'm not going anywhere."
A/N: Um... yeah... so, will Harry take the potion when it's finished? Or will he opt to stay blind? Will Snape finally give in and take a chance? Hmmm... we shall see. Read and Review!!!! (9 pages!!! Well, 10 if you want to count this A/N... aren't you proud of me?) I fixed some stuff... so yeah...