Five slept in a charming house in the suburbs of Chicago. Two slept
restlessly. One slept warily. Another slept deeply. But the last, oh, the
last slept busily.
The last dreamed of a masquerade, where she danced and danced until there were no partners left who didn't slump and drag and seep as she twirled them about. Danced until the color left their faces and she was standing alone in the center of the ballroom. Above her head, the roof took off to tea, and the stars began chittering down to her as if it had been decades since they'd last spoke.
"Stop," she cried out, her hands clasped over her ears. "For everyone a turn, and a turn for everyone." The voices battled to bend her ear, and she dropped to her knees. "I can't listen all at once! Not enough ears, not enough!"
And beneath her, she felt the thump-thumping of food that was not food, and then hot hands placed wiggled under hers, and the thump-thumping was all that was in her ears. She looked up, and there were eyes of gems to meet her own.
"Would you like to fly?" the bow beneath the gems asked, and she didn't understand why she would want to do that. Up high was closer to the naughty stars, with their layers of crinoline voices. The bow stretched and tilted. "Do you trust me?"
She nodded emphatically, so that the bow might know that she truly meant it.
And they rose. Left behind useless dancing boys who no longer danced like they were supposed to--and they would be punished for that later, oh yes they would--and went up past where the roof would return once his crumpets were put away. Climbed towards the stars, and even the thump-thumping could hear them.
The bow turned down, and she laughed at the stars, because they had made the bow dip and the gems darken, and they were a power the stars didn't know. "There's too many of them," the bow told her.
"The many mouths of one," she agreed with the bow. "But they never know what the others know. They can only tell me what they know."
"If they were one, they would know what the others know. And they could tell you everything."
"Yes, but they are many." And she didn't like that there were many, because there were stories they had to tell her: grand tales of glittering gems that might possibly shatter, rich wine that might stain a dress, a darkness that might be nothing but dark, and pain that might never end. "I don't know which comes first, then next."
"Must you know? You never do."
She stamped her foot. "Yes.
"I can take you to a single voice," the bow told her. "But just once. So you must be sure."
She tilted her head to the side. "Just once?"
The gems and bow dipped down in a nod. "You only took one sip," the bow explained.
"An eye for an eye," she said sagely, and the bow curled upwards. "Take me."
A wave of air, whispering around the bow and gem, and then they were no longer climbing up, but stepping sideways. The sky slithered away from them, growing paler and paler, until it began getting lighter and lighter.
"This isn't my sky," she murmured with a worried frown and they became still.
The thump-thumping at her ears caressed her. "It's mine, and you're with me so you're safe."
She thought about that for a long while. "Safe as houses?" she asked eventually.
"Safer."
The bow would know of such things better than most, so she nodded and they stepped again. And it grew brighter and brighter, and the light wasn't white like the stars, it was yellow.
But something came to her, and she frowned. "I can only hear the stars."
"I know. This is just a very big star. Are you sure you want to use your chance now?"
And she nodded. "Absolutely."
"Then closer your eyes," the bow instructed her, "and listen carefully."
She listened more carefully than she ever had before. Listened to the story from start to almost-finish, her face crumpling with distress when the voice stopped after telling her of confusion and rage, some desperation, too. There was blood and death and agonized screams.
"Sh, it's all right," the bow said calmly. "There are two endings. It's trying to decide which one to tell you first."
"Two endings," she breathed, her eyes fluttering open. "Tragedy or romance."
The bow and gems moved side-to-side. "They're both romantic, and romance is always tragic in its own way. The difference lies in how *much* tragedy."
The first ending continued from the screaming. It went on for ages, and she didn't think it would ever end, but after it finally did, there was despair and then everything was changed. The voice paused, then started again. The second ending also started at the screaming, and she heard a pitter-patter, thump-thumping, and the screams ended quickly this time. There was hurt and confusion, and then everything was changed.
"There's no difference," she pouted as they pulled away from the yellow star.
"Not to you, no. But to them, there is every difference in the world." She opened her mouth, and the bow answered her before she asked. "They would want the second ending. Would only survive the second ending."
"It didn't tell me what I should do," she said suddenly. Her eyes grew round. "Did I miss it? I listened, I did!"
"You didn't miss anything," the bow said simply. "You know what comes first, then next. You know which ending they need. It's very clear."
She supposed it was. The gems brought her back to the ball, where new dancing boys had come to take the places of the naughty ones, and she waved absently as the roof came back from tea.
***
The tension in the house was so palpable the next night that it made Angel's skin crawl. The vampires stayed in the master bedroom, Willow ventured upstairs only long enough to shower and change--from what Angel could hear--and then returned to the first floor without acknowledging their presence. As they didn't acknowledge hers.
The occupants of the bedroom spent some time working on the puzzle of who had kidnapped and tortured Dev, once again not getting very far. Wesley was looking into who or what might have such a unique cloaking ability, as were several of Dev's sources--who she'd had Angel contact under a false name. After the two hours that took, they were left to wait for a call back. And feel entirely too uncomfortable to leave the room and encroach on Willow's privacy.
Or maybe that was only Angel, who had seen far too many unspoken things in her eyes when he'd told her he was sending her home, only to find more in Spike's eyes when he tried to get the younger vampire to understand why it was necessary.
And Dru wasn't helping. Not in the least. Though Spike had tried, she was still angry. Angel was getting a little annoyed by her constant hissing and snarling.
"I wasn't going to ask," Dev said after yet another hiss made its way from Drusilla. Bland eyes traveled to each of the other occupants of the room as she wiped her cheek. "But this is the third time Dru's spit on me trying to get at Angel." No one said anything, and she frowned. "Could someone maybe tell me what the problem is?"
Dru opened her mouth, but Dev reached over and placed her hand on Dru's lips. "Sweetness, I need some sense right now. Go back to hissing." Drusilla nodded and Dev removed her hand and looked at Angel, who didn't say anything.
Spike didn't seem eager to start talking either, and Angel hoped Dev would just let it drop. Instead, she sighed from her position in the center of the bed, where she was sitting cross-legged.
"Damn it," she exclaimed, her frustration and impatience seeping through. "This is the first time since Germany that we're all together without one of us trying to kill another, or one of us--" She gave Angel a pointed look. "--being completely unstable. If it's going to be ruined? I think I have a right to know by what."
Angel just returned her demanding gaze with his best blank face, and she turned to Spike, a silky smile on her lips. "Come on, luv," she coaxed him.
Spike lit a new cigarette and lifted a diffident shoulder in response. Dev's eyes widened almost comically and her wide mouth slipped open just a little before she reigned herself in and erased all evidence of shock from her face. Spike's blatant pandering to females he cared about had always extended to Dev, and Angel knew she wasn't used to him denying her anything- -much less something as simple as an answer. Then her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, and Angel knew why.
Dev connected differently with each of her sires due to the strange circumstance of her creation. Angel and Dev's relationship had been forged during long, complicated talks in which he'd counseled and guided her about the finer nuances of life that Spike and Drusilla hadn't been all that concerned about. As a result, it was a steadfast and level friendship.
Drusilla and Dev had always been sisterly. Angel would have thought that it would be more...maternal--on one side or the other. But to his surprise, Drusilla had never fussed or fretted like Dev was one of her dolls, and Dev had never been condescending to or overprotective of Drusilla.
Spike and Dev, though, they were something else entirely. Dev was so protective of Spike that the word "rabid" came to mind. To someone who didn't know and understand Spike, it would probably seem unnecessary, but to Angel, it made perfect sense. Spike was strong, fierce and he'd earned his reputation fairly. But to the few people he gave a damn about, Spike offered up everything in him, and was incapable of protecting against them in any way.
Dev was one of those people, and she was hyperaware of how sensitive Spike could be. She did everything in her power to avoid hurting him even a little. And her hackles got sometimes uncontrollably raised if someone else tried. Angel and Dru were generally excluded from that last group, probably due to the power structure and sire/childe complexities. Angel also thought her behavior had a lot to do with the demon aspect she'd gotten from Spike, because he'd seen Spike go to extreme measures when those few he cared about were harmed.
Spike's current behavior might as well have been a glaring neon sign. Something had nicked him, and he was trying to shrug it off. Dev had already been determined to get answers, but now there was going to be no playing around.
"We brought Willow to Los Angeles the day after you got there," he began, leaning back in the chair in the corner of the room.
Dev nodded, the slow motion indicating that she had no idea how this particular bit of information related to what she wanted to know. "I knew someone would be there," she told him. "A woman. Human. Got pulled from you to Dru when you helped me out of the sewer, and I saw a few things. I didn't know who it would be, though."
That cleared up yet one more thing that had been dangling: how she'd known to set up that "recorded" bit of magic that had associated Willow with Dev in Drusilla's mind.
"You probably got a glimpse of Dru's vision," Angel said thoughtfully. "In it, Willow helped you, and Spike went back to Sunnydale..."
An hour later, Angel finished telling her of everything that had gone on during her bout of unconsciousness, leaving out a lot of the subtle and not- so-subtle undertones he'd picked up on.
"That's all really...interesting," she said finally. "But I don't understand what the drama is about. We're talking about her going home to the Slayer who faced down the three of you and lived. Don't think she can get much more protected than that."
Angel had the thought that maybe he should have at least alluded to the undertones, because there wasn't a way to respond to Dev without bringing them up.
"Dru thinks Angel's trying to change shite he shouldn't be messing with," Spike said curtly. "She's displaying her displeasure."
"And what about you, then?" she asked archly. "Because I'm not too clear about what kind of mood you're in right now. You were pissed at Angel, then you talked to Willow--"
Angel shook his head minutely, but frantically, and fortunately for him Spike was too distracted by staring at the floor that he didn't notice. Even more fortunately, Dev saw it.
She broke off and then nodded. "Well, now you're--what? Still mad at Papa Bear?"
"Don't call me that," Angel grumbled.
"Not mad at anyone, pet," Spike told her flatly.
"The last time I tried to avoid answering you like this, you punched me in the face," she drawled. "What say we skip the violence, and you just give me a straight answer?"
Just then, the house phone rang and a minute later Willow was yelling up to Angel from the first floor. "Wesley needs you to call him."
Dev looked at the closed door. "Is she afraid of me?" she asked irritably. "Her scent is all over the room--all over the *bed*--but she's barely been up here since I got up."
"Knives in hand," Drusilla spat. "Carving her away. Slicing through flesh and bone."
"Shut it, Dru," Spike said icily.
"I told you," Dru growled back at him, crawling around Dev on the bed to move her face very close to his. "And you said you wouldn't. But now you are. You'll force her to the wrong ending."
Spike's hands clenched into fists, and his jaw tensed. Angel was out of the chair and across the room in a flash. He took hold of Dru's chin and forced her to look at him. "Drop it," he ordered her harshly. "It's not up to him."
Dev was watching everything with hooded eyes, while Spike was staring at some point on the far wall. Drusilla pulled out of Angel's grasp and crawled back, baring her teeth at him. "She is up to him, and it is up to her. *You* have no say."
"Goddamn," Dev exclaimed. "I think this might be worse than the three of you at each other's throats."
"Drusilla," Angel snapped. "Try going the rest of the night without speaking. Or hissing," he added as an afterthought. "Spike, just--" Angel shook his head, not even sure what to suggest to the tightly wound vampire. "I'm calling Wesley back."
"Don't I get an assignment?" Dev asked snippily.
Angel glowered at her. "Stop poking at things you don't understand," he suggested coolly, and she had the good grace to look abashed.
His motions sharp, Angel found the cell phone and called Wesley. "There's no reason why the shield shouldn't hold until Willow consciously lowers in," Wesley told him. "However, in order to do so, she will need physical contact. Also, Dev's own...talents will be unavailable until then."
Angel gave a quick glance at Spike, who had gotten up from the bed and stood by Angel's shoulder to listen to the conversation. "Do it."
He stared at Spike. "What?"
"Send her home," Spike said casually. "She can pop over to L.A. when this is done and do away with the shield."
Angel nodded slowly, eyes fixed on Spike's blank face. "Wes, talk to that guy we know in Chinatown and get papers for Willow. Once that's done, arrange for a flight out of O'Hare for her."
"I'll have Gunn take care of procuring the documents," Wesley said. "Cordelia and I will continue to look into Dev's attackers."
They hung up and Spike retreated to the bed once again to smoke his millionth cigarette of the night. Shaking his head, Angel went to the window and turned on the exhaust fan. The tension remained and the group fell into a thick silence that was broken not long before dawn by screaming. Willow's screaming.
***
Spike came to a skidding halt in the living room, staring at the scene in front of him. Willow was on the floor next to the couch, screaming for all she was worth, struggling and fighting, and completely asleep. "What the hell?" he muttered.
Angel barreled past him, crouching down next to Willow and taking hold of her shoulders. He gave her a shake. "Wake up, Willow!" he called out to her.
Fifteen minutes and ten more attempts to wake her up, and Angel admitted defeat and tried to make Willow more comfortable on the floor. Dev and Drusilla were standing next to Spike. Dev looked like she had finally given up trying to understand anything that was going on in the house, and Drusilla looked...at ease, strangely enough.
Willow's screams had tapered off into terrified whimpers, and Spike took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. But when Angel let go of Willow's shoulders her hands shot up to her head and began to alternately pull at her hair and smack herself. Before Angel could gather himself to take hold of her hands, Willow scrambled to her feet and started to run. Angel managed to loop an arm around her waist before she crashed face-first onto the glass top of the coffee table.
"She's going to hurt herself," Spike said tensely, and Angel nodded as he struggled to hold Willow without harming her. "Any chains or rope on hand?" Dev asked, and then widened her eyes when Angel and Spike both glared at her. "What? It'll contain her." "Bloody well not chaining her up," Spike snapped. Angel wasn't having an easy time, and Spike ran a hand through his hair. Willow was slight of frame, but she was thrashing around with the desperation and fixation of a...madwoman...He turned to Dru and raised a brow. "Give her a lullaby, pet?"
His princess smiled easily and Spike wondered if she was the least bit surprised about any of this, given how calm she was being. He also wondered if she'd be willing to share the details with the rest of the class, but didn't hold out much hope that she'd be understandable even if she did decide to tell them anything.
She was holding Dev's arm to support the other vampire, and she urged Dev closer to Spike so that he could take her place. Then she walked to Willow and Angel, gracefully sinking to her knees in front of them. Angel maneuvered Willow until she was in front of him, her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her chest and pinned her flailing limbs to her sides, while at the same time tossing a leg over both of hers and effectively trapping them.
Her head thrashed from side to side, her eyes squeezed shut tightly. She screamed, loud and long, and the sound tore at Spike's calm.
"Ease up," Dev snapped, and he glanced down and realized he'd clenched his hand around her arm.
Once again looking at the trio on the floor, Spike frowned as Drusilla took hold of Willow's face and held her head still. Her nails dug into Willow's pale flesh, drawing blood. But her head was still, and Drusilla's eyes drifted shut. A moment later, Willow went unnaturally still and Drusilla began to hum and sing, and little by little the stillness relaxed into something natural. Within a few minutes, Willow had fallen into a normal sleep in Angel's hold, and Drusilla was getting to her feet again.
Spike ran a hand through his hair as Angel set Willow on the sofa and covered her with a blanket. "What the hell just happened?" he demanded to know.
"She doesn't like her dreams," Drusilla cooed softly, eyes on the ceiling as she gave a half-twirl.
Right then, Spike wasn't a big fan of them either.
***
Confusion filled Willow's mind when she woke up from her nap on the couch and found that the television had been turned off, the lights had been turned on, and the vampires had congregated in the dining room.
She sat up and frowned, wondering how she'd slept through all of that, including the not-so-hushed conversation they were currently having. Angel was telling Dev about Spike going to Los Angeles for the Gem of Amarra, and Dru was singing as she brushed Dev's hair. Spike was--well, Spike was not in the dining room.
"You're up."
She turned and saw him on the rarely used loveseat, face inscrutable as he studied her. She'd thought they'd all be keeping their distance until she left, and didn't think they'd come downstairs without a reason.
"Yeah," she said hesitantly. "Is something going on?"
"Depends," Spike said blandly. "Do you count having a violent, screaming nightmare that we couldn't wake you from as 'something'?"
Willow froze and forced herself not to look into the dining room at Dru. Instead, she closed her eyes and tried to remember. She'd been having another nightmare, but had been unable to get to her safe place. And she'd tried so hard, but her physical exhaustion had followed her into the dream and she hadn't had the energy.
Someone--and she suspected it had been Dru--had forcibly dragged her out of it and locked her in a study of some kind with Spike. Her eyes flew open as she went over Spike's words.
"Violent?" she echoed, staring at him. "Did I try to hurt you?"
"You tried to hurt yourself," she heard Angel say. Turning her head, she saw that the others had moved into the room and were staring t her. "Dru had to--" He waved a hand vaguely.
"Whammy you," Dev said helpfully.
"Oh," Willow murmured, then realized that Dev was standing of her own accord now, and was fully dressed. "Are those my pajama pants?" she asked, a little dazed.
"They are," Dev confirmed with a small smile. "I was getting tired of just the t-shirt. Hope you don't mind."
"No, it's fine," Willow mumbled, shaking her head and frowning at the news that she had apparently freaked out in her sleep. Big time, if the vampires' presence was anything to go by. She grimaced, then winced in pain at the motion. Very slowly, she lifted a hand to her face and felt numerous cuts.
Her eyes found Spike. "Did I do this to myself?" she asked smally.
"That was Dru," Spike responded. "You wouldn't keep still for her to get in your head."
"Oh," she said again, lowering her hand.
"Willow." Angel's face was grim. "You don't have nightmares like that."
There was actually no way he could know that for sure, but she couldn't bring herself to insist that she did. Her only option, if she didn't want to get caught lying, was to stick as close to the truth as possible.
"No," she admitted, pushing her hair back from her face. "But I also haven't been sleeping much. Or well. I'm usually a pretty lucid dreamer unless I'm wiped out."
"Not that I know you or anything," Dev ventured, "but that seemed like not a normal nightmare."
Willow couldn't help but laugh a little bitterly. "I don't come from a normal town, and it's given me nightmare fodder you wouldn't believe. Especially ones starring these three," she added, gesturing at the others.
Angel winced, Drusilla tilted her head to the side, and Spike smiled just a bit.
"What was it?" Angel asked softly.
Willow shivered and grabbed onto the only other nightmare that had squeezed past her lucid dreaming talent. "Hellmouth opening," she said, swallowing. "The tentacles had me."
"All that for some tentacles?" Spike asked suspiciously.
"You weren't there," she said sharply, and then glanced at Angel.
"It was rough," Angel confirmed tightly. "Did anything feel off, Willow? Strange?"
She shook her head. "It was just a nightmare, except that I was too drained to do any of my 'I'm only dreaming' tricks."
Angel seemed appeased, and more than a little relieved, upon hearing that. Of course, he didn't see the twinkle in Drusilla's eyes as she twirled past Willow.
Willow risked a glance at the clock on the cable box, crossing her fingers and hoping she'd gotten a decent amount of sleep this time around. Her hopes were grounded into a fine powder when she realized it had only been two hours since she'd last looked at the clock before falling asleep. "Wesley's arranging for identification for you," Angel said into the silence. "It should be here in a couple of days and he'll arrange a flight to L.A. for you, and set up a rental car so that you can drive to Sunnydale." "Which is nowhere near safe enough," Spike said, his tone impatient. "Should have someone meet her there." Angel tossed him a glare. "And if he's being followed? It's too big a chance." Spike threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "The Slayer, then." Willow had never thought she'd ever see Spike recommend Buffy as a viable option. For anything. No matter what. "I'll be fine," she insisted. "But if it's that big a deal I can always switch flights so that Wesley doesn't know any details."
"We'll play that by ear," Angel said after a moment. "Make a decision on it when the time comes."
"All right then," Willow agreed, and then looked around. "Since you're down here and all, I guess I can let you know about some of what I've set up."
The vampires finally decided to find seats and make themselves more comfortable. Drusilla sat in the middle of sofa, right next to Willow, with Dev on her other side. Angel sat on the armchair, grimacing slightly as it crunched under him. Spike's spilled blood had dried the cushion stiffly.
"I paid the rent up for the next six months," she began, holding up a hand when Angel opened his mouth. "I know it won't be that long, but they can use the money to fix everything that Spike has, and will, destroy." He flipped her off and she shrugged. It was true, after all.
"I've also ordered another laptop and it'll be delivered tomorrow," she went on. "I'd rather take mine with me, but if we can't transfer everything you need, then I'll take the new one. And I'll leave the bank card," she added. "If you want to take any of the stuff that we bought when you leave, go ahead. If not, you can leave it. Once you're gone, you'll need to let me know so that I can call the realtor and end the rental and make excuses for whatever's been done or left behind."
The vampires just looked at her, and she shifted uncomfortably. "What?"
They glanced at each other, then just shook their heads. Okay, so maybe she was behaving a bit like a parent or something, with all the arrangements. But, hey. It had to be done and she hadn't had anything better to do all day.
She blushed slightly and got to her feet. "I'm going to get a drink. Do you guys need anything?"
There was a trio of headshakes, and Willow made her way into the kitchen. Once there, she sat at the small breakfast nook took several deep breaths. Leaving as soon as possible was very important now, because she really didn't want to have to tell Angel the truth and deal with his anger about her lying. Of course, she was going to have a whole other group of people to hide the dreams from when she went back. Not to mention that she'd probably have to lie to them about what had gone on; Angel hadn't yet told her what the cover story was going to be.
But, still, she could spend some quality time with Buffy and Xander to reassure them that she was alive, and then camp at her parents' house. There, the nightmares would go unnoticed if she slept during the day when her parents were at work. Glad to have a somewhat workable plan, she squared her shoulders and sat up straight.
Only to see Spike in the middle of the kitchen, watching her with a frown. "Will?"
"I'm fine," she said, trying to smile. His blue eyes narrowed on her and she exhaled shakily. She was really starting to hate the way he somehow always managed to just walk right past her defenses without even noticing them. "Okay, so I'm not fine," she admitted on a sigh.
He arched a brow and sat across from her. "Feeling out of sorts?"
She lowered her head and tried to work some of the tension out of her shoulders. "I really don't think some quality sleep is too much to ask for," she complained tiredly. "Do you?"
"It's not," he said awkwardly. "You could..." Willow's brow creased as she wondered what he was trying to say. Spike shrugged and his eyes fell to the floor. "Didn't have these problems before, and there's room for you, is all I'm saying."
Oh. She got it now. Perhaps if all of her synapses had been firing correctly, she would have been a little less artless in her response. But her mind wasn't really functioning at any higher level whatsoever.
"I really want to," she said quietly. "But I think it'll make it harder to leave and be away. Alone. By myself. Without anyone else. And--well, you get the point." He was still looking away. "You do get the point, right?" she asked with concern.
He nodded once. "Get it in all it's sharp and pointy glory, luv," he said lowly. He got to his feet. "Round yourself up that drink, then try to get some sleep again, all right?"
She nodded and watched him stride from the kitchen. After the reminder of what she was missing out on, Willow the warm milk she made wasn't nearly as comforting as it might have been.
***
When the next evening rolled around, Willow thought that she might qualify for official zombie status. Her attempts at sleeping had been hindered by the fact that she didn't *want* to sleep. Just the thought of getting stuck in those dreams again had caused her to rise from her bed and busy herself.
By the time the vampires stirred, she had already set up the new laptop that had arrived at noon, and transferred all pertinent information over. The kitchen had been scrubbed down, all laundry done, and every surface on the first floor dusted. She had held off on the vacuuming so that she wouldn't disturb them.
Assuming that the vampires were going to be keeping their distance once again, she was more than a little surprised when Dev appeared in the living room.
"Oh, hey there," Willow said awkwardly. She set aside the cleaner and paper towels she'd been using to clean the television screen and raised her brows at the vampire. "Do you need something?"
"Yeah," Dev confirmed, coming further into the room and sitting on the couch. "I need to thank you."
Willow tilted her head to the side. "Well, you're welcome," she replied, nonplussed. "I'm just glad I was actually able to, you know, help you. For a while I was pretty much useless."
Dev lifted a lazy brow. "Useless? Hardly that, from what I've heard." Her face slid into serious lines, her eyes darkening. "I owe you a lot, Willow. For what you did for me and for them."
Willow's eyes widened. "No, not at all!" she insisted earnestly. "Angel's helped Buffy and the rest of us more times than I can count--and believe me, I've tried. I think I'm still in the hole, actually."
"I think that, between restoring his soul and this adventure," Dev drawled, "you're actually ahead of the game as far as Angel's concerned. As for me...I know what kind of shape I was in when I got to Los Angeles." She shrugged and looked away. "It would have been a lot of months before I woke up, and then many more before I was anywhere near the kind of shape I'm in now. And I owe you for that." She got to her feet and smiled a little. "Just keep it in mind, all right? In case you or the others need anything."
"Okay," Willow agreed. "Are you okay getting upstairs yourself?"
"More than okay," Dev laughed. "My muscles are used to moving again. Actually, though, I was going to look around. Haven't had a chance to tour the place yet."
So Willow showed her around, her words more than a little slurred at times, which caused Dev to frown. But Willow was an expert at babbling, and she used it as a distraction. "...blood runs whenever we get low. It's human, which Angel was reluctant about for a while, but it keeps Spike and Dru from complaining about not being able to hunt. Plus, it kept their strength up better than animal blood when they were feeding you all the time. Are you going to be going bagged now? Oh, and do you eat people food, like Spike does? Because if so, I'll have to adjust the grocery and blood lists I made for you guys to use once I'm gone."
"You would make a champion swimmer," Dev said incongruously as Willow closed the fridge.
"Huh?"
"Your ability to speak so much on one breath," Dev clarified. "Would come in handy swimming."
Willow flushed a little with embarrassment. "But it also requires coordination, which I'm known to lack."
"There you are," Spike said from the doorway. He arched a brow at Dev. "Said you were going to wash up."
"I did," Dev said with a shrug. "Then I figured I'd get the lay of the land. Willow was showing me around."
Angel came up behind Spike, his face creased in a frown. "Did you find--oh, hey," he said, spying Dev in the kitchen. "You're...up and about. That's good."
"The computer's here and set up," Willow said suddenly, causing everyone to stare at her. She blinked a little, then shook her head. "Sorry, didn't mean to just toss that out there like that." She smiled at Dev. "Let me show you where I put everything."
In the dining room, Willow knew she was garnering all sorts of bad attention, what with the swaying on her feet and the zoning out in the middle of directing Dev to the folder she'd stored the relevant documents on. Knew it, and felt helpless to direct the attention away.
"Willow," Angel said firmly.
She blinked and saw that not only was everyone staring at her, but had missed Drusilla joining them in the dining room. "What?" she mumbled, staring at Angel.
He took hold of her arm and steered her into the living room. "You haven't slept, have you?"
She managed to wrest her arm from his hold, and then smiled brightly up at him. "I'm fine, Angel. Really."
Her vision seemed to waver, and then speed away from her at a great distance, and then she was screaming.
***
"That's not a damn nightmare," Spike snarled as Angel practically sat on Willow in an effort to keep her from beating her head off the wall again. She had started screaming and slamming herself into the wall ten minutes ago, and Spike was near to going on a rampage of some kind. "She was wide awake."
"They're attacking her," Dev said from his side.
Spike froze, then swiveled on his heel to stare at Dev.
"She said they wouldn't be able to find her," Angel snapped, his words a little unsteady as Willow tried to buck him off of her.
Dev shook her head. "They haven't found her, and they can't. They're trying to undermine her so that she'll lower the shield." Her eyes widened. "Hell-- the nightmares. That's what they were. She's too powerful for them to affect--"
"Unless she's asleep and her conscious mind isn't in control," Spike bit out. "But she was awake just now," he said again.
"And exhausted," Angel reminded him. "It's made her vulnerable."
Dev nodded, and Spike realized that she had lied to their faces about the dreams. "That little, headstrong--" He broke off and felt himself shaking. "How do we stop it?" he demanded of Dev.
"Can we lock them out?" Angel asked hopefully.
"Willow is perfectly capable of doing it," Dev told them with a shrug. "That's what she's been doing since they started. She just needs rest to shore her defenses."
Something about what Dev said was ringing a bell in his head, and he cast back in his memories to find out what. His eyes widened, and he snarled at Dru. "Rest," he said coldly. "You said she needed rest after she was 'sick'. You knew about this the entire bloody time."
She nodded calmly, and Spike was almost on her when Dev hauled him back. "That's not going to help a damn thing," she hissed at him, shoving him aside and facing Dru. "Sweetness, did you do something to help Willow?"
"Of course," Drusilla replied testily, much in the manner that she'd confirmed that, yes, her visions always came to tea when she invited them. "Kept all your drops in the cup, so I took her to a place."
Dev frowned. "A place?" she repeated.
Drusilla nodded. "Hm. Where she could be safe."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Spike ground out.
"She gave Willow an escape hatch," Dev explained, not removing her eyes from Dru. "To get away from the attacks." Addressing Dru once again, she asked, "Did it work?"
"Oh, yes," Drusilla confirmed.
Spike briefly considered counting to ten to calm down, but tossed the idea out of the window almost immediately. "Then why isn't she using the hatch?" he shouted. "Why is she stuck?"
"Weary to the bone and so very alone," Drusilla sang lightly. "I helped her before but now I can't."
"Damn it, Willow!" Angel shouted. Spike spun around and saw that Willow had managed to shove the vampire off of her, and had crawled away, her body shaking and terrified. Agonized gasps issued from her lips as she blindly scurried towards something only she could see.
Spike strode to her and lifted her in his arms. She struck out, whimpering, and he caught her hand. "We need a controlled space so she doesn't hurt herself," he told Angel flatly, moving his head so that he could see Angel around Willow's thrashing.
But Drusilla came to them, a small smile playing on her lips. "Body and mind," she said solemnly, her hands clasping each side of Willow's head and her eyes drifting closed. "Come visit us, precious. Let us see those pretty green gems."
For a few moments, there was no change. Willow continued flailing in his arms, and it was more than a little difficult to keep hold of her without hurting her, but Spike managed. Drusilla took several hits from Willow's limbs with alacrity, body swaying so that she could keep her hands on Willow's head.
Slowly but surely, Willow began to settle down, until finally she was no longer struggling, but simply shaking something fierce in Spike's arms. A moment later, her eyes flew open and she sucked in a greedy breath as she looked around. Drusilla released her head and stepped back, leaving Spike to shift his grip so that he wasn't restraining her any more.
"I didn't want to know," Willow choked out. "No. No. No." Her hands covered her face and she drew in on herself. "Didn't want to see."
"It's all right, pet," Spike hushed her. "Was just a dream."
Her hands fell from her face and she stared at him with side eyes. "Spike," she mumbled desperately. She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face against his throat. "Spike. Spike. Spike."
Confused and more than a little shocked, Spike brushed a hand across the back of her head soothingly. "Right here," he assured her, looking helplessly at Angel and Dev.
"She needs sleep," Dev said softly. "Lots of it. Without nightmares."
"They won't come right now," Drusilla interjected, her voice certain and her eyes on Spike.
"Did you hear that?" Spike asked the woman clinging to him. "Willow?"
"Spike."
"Yes, I'm Spike," he said a little impatiently. "You need to go to sleep so this doesn't happen again."
"No!" she screamed, and Spike flinched just as much from the terror in the sound as from the volume of it. "Can't sleep!"
"You have to," he said firmly.
She started struggling again, and something wet fell on his hand. Tears, he realized. She was crying, and then she was sobbing, and Spike wondered if it was possible for an organ long dead and unused to break.
"Stop," he said loudly, trying not to drop her. "Calm down, luv. Calm down." She kept at it, and his gut clenched. He knew that everyone was watching him, and he didn't give a damn. He couldn't take her being this upset, this scared, this desperate. Almost frantically, he pulled her tightly to his chest. When he spoke, his words were fervent and practically as desperate as hers had been. "Sh. Okay, all right. You don't have to sleep, pet. You don't have to. It's all right, you hear?"
"Spike--" Angel began, but stopped when Willow settled in Spike's arms again.
Spike closed his eyes when Willow buried her face against his neck again. Held her close and stroked her back before sliding his hand up to tangle it in her hair. There were about a dozen emotions battling for supremacy in him at the moment. Rage that someone had dared do this to her, combined with the desire go out, find them, and make them hurt. Awe that, even in the face of something that had reduced her to sobs and screams, she hadn't dropped the shield. Pride that she was so damn strong.
But what finally won out was the overwhelming need to make it better for her somehow. To do something to ease the frenzied state of her mind.
Opening his eyes, he walked to the sofa and sat, arranging her on his lap in such a way as to accommodate her grip around his neck. He sat with her until she finally drifted off to sleep. He sat with her when the others took a suspiciously subdued leave. He sat with her until she woke up, saw him, and fell back into an easy sleep. He sat with her until he could no longer keep his own eyes open, and then he lay with her.
***
Angel was sitting in the third bedroom that hadn't had an occupant in weeks, needing to be alone to contemplate what he'd just witnessed. Alone just wasn't to be, however. The door opened slowly and Dev came in, still wearing Spike's t-shirt and Willow's pajama pants. The pants were the right length, but too tight since her hips were wider than Willow's. She closed the door behind her and sat next to him on the bed.
"Spike and Willow," she said quietly. "How long has it been going on?"
Angel sighed. "They've been skirting it since he went back to Sunnydale, from what I've gathered."
Dev leaned against him. "I look around, and it feels like I had to have been out for years. You're in charge, despite the soul. Spike's...not like I've ever seen him..."
"He's subdued," Angel acknowledged, sliding an arm across her shoulders. "And confused."
"About Willow."
Angel shook his head. "No, actually. That doesn't exist for him yet." He considered that for a moment. "At least until tonight, I guess. He just doesn't know where to go from where he is. Or even where he is."
"Been there," Dev replied. "It's tough. Especially for him and me. This damn demon is too passionate to make rational contemplation easy." She nudged him. "And what's Miss Willow? Besides a seriously powerful young thing?"
"Astonishingly smart and very sensitive. Compassionate and caring. Loyal."
Dev sucked in a breath; a habit she might have picked up from Spike, or that might have come with the demon itself. "That's exactly how you described William to me," she whispered. "William before the Bloody part."
"And after," Angel admitted darkly.
She turned towards him, her dark blue eyes studying him. "You worry too much," she finally said.
His eyes widened. "And you don't worry nearly enough," he countered. "Did we just see the same thing down there?"
She nodded and shrugged at the same time. "Yeah, but my perspective is different."
"Why? Because you joined him in a bloodbath or two?" Angel snapped.
Dev flinched and then glared at him. "Pots shouldn't call kettles slaughterers."
"You had a soul," he reminded her angrily.
"And I made a mistake," she replied in kind. "Many mistakes." She rubbed her eyes and shook her head. "And I'd really rather not get into this again."
Neither did Angel, truth be told. It was hard for him to reconcile the Dev he knew with the stories he'd heard about her in Belgium with Spike and Dru. Which was probably how everyone who had experienced Angelus two years before felt about him.
"How is your perspective different, then?"
Dev's lips tilted gratefully at the change in subject. "Because I've been on the receiving end of Spike's indulgences, Papa Bear." Angel narrowed his eyes at her and she just winked at him. "As much as you've witnessed it, you can't know what it's like. Not entirely. So, you're worried about him hurting her, and I'd like to know the chances of the opposite happening."
Angel considered that and realized the answer wasn't one he liked very much. "The chances are the same on both sides. And it'll go to an extreme, because both of them are extreme."
"You do realize that he has absolutely no idea what he did down there, don't you?"
Angel blinked. "How can he not know? We heard it, loud and clear. He had to have heard it *and* felt it."
"Come on, Angel. This is Spike," she reminded him. "He takes a whole lot of baby steps towards some things. Gets nowhere near it, then suddenly realizes what's going on and leaps the rest of the distance. He's not ready to know, so he didn't notice it."
Angel knew that about Spike, but he hadn't thought that even Spike's denial could extend so far. It was practically unheard of, what he'd done. "I don't know much about it," Angel admitted. "Beyond the basics."
"Depending on how things go, I can get my hands on a copy of Lenton's Obscure Vampire Dynamics. It's supposed to be the most comprehensive source."
Angel grunted. "How are you doing?" he asked abruptly.
She adjusted to the change of subject swiftly enough. "I'd like to say that torture is old hat by now," she mumbled. "Wasn't the first time, and it probably won't be the last. But this was...an entirely different level. They got into my magic, and for some reason that makes me feel the most violated, the most vulnerable."
Now wasn't the time to call her on the carpet about keeping the fact that she *had* magic from them, so Angel didn't broach the subject at the moment.
"And I'm so damn angry," she went on. "That I got caught like that. That it took me so long to get out. That I had to leave without killing any of those bastards because I was too weak to fight. That I got absolutely no information about who or what they were." She ran her hands through her hair. "I'm sorry for showing up like that. I didn't know where else to go," she said so lowly that he almost didn't hear her.
Angel slid off the bed and crouched down in front of her, setting his hands on her shoulders. "You went right where you should have," he said intently. "As much as things are nothing like they were back then, some things won't ever change."
She lifted clouded eyes to him. "Even with my mistakes?"
It was so hard, Angel reflected. So damn hard to remember that Dev had known about his soul longer than he'd realized, and had tried her best to live up to expectations that he hadn't even voiced. And because her only experiences were firmly grounded in the vampire hierarchy, he knew that however much her conscience hounded her for her mistakes, the fact that she'd let him down also gnawed at her just as much.
He'd expressed his anger, his disappointment in her about her missteps, but he'd never offered her either the understanding of the only other souled vampire out there, or the forgiveness of her patriarch.
"I don't think less of you, Dev." She frowned in disbelief and he struggled to find the words. "I know you were in a tough spot," he said eventually. "My disappearing act left you with only Spike and Dru, and you didn't have any human experiences to draw on. You did things you shouldn't have, but you realized it and stopped for no reason except that you knew it wasn't right."
"It wasn't easy," she confessed. "I go to extremes like Spike does--worse because of the soul. Takes a lot to keep myself in the middle ground."
He rose and kissed her forehead. "Most people don't bother." He made his way to the door, and spoke with his back to her. "I'm proud of you."
In the master bedroom, Drusilla was perched on the edge of the bed, smiling wistfully. "Do you understand now?" she asked him, her eyes slanting meaningfully to the floor, below which were Spike and Willow. "Rumbles and pitter-patters."
"Yeah," he said tiredly, removing his belt and crawling into the bed. "Do you know anything new, Drusilla?"
"Oh, yes, but none of it answers what you ask. It tells how everything happens, but not what will happen."
Angel closed his eyes. "Is there anything we can do?"
"Show her," Drusilla breathed. "Show her she is more than one or the other."
The mattress dipped as she moved up next to him, curling around him and petting his hair. A few moments later, Dev came in and joined them, Drusilla moving to the side so their childe could rest between them.
***
Willow became aware of being awake, which implied that she had been sleeping. Or still was. She wasn't sure, and she didn't want to find out. She laid wherever she was, eyes resolutely closed, and anxiety crawling across her skin. She remembered horrible images, worse than any other she'd seen yet. Remembered being sucked into Dev's position and feeling everything that had been done to the vampire. Everything.
Her breathing started to speed up, but then she heard something. Coming from just under her head. It was almost like a growl, but not really. It wasn't menacing, or frightening...it made her feel safe, and secure. Like everything was going to be all right. Willow focused on the sound, letting go of the panic and fear she was feeling and let her mind slip away back into sleep.
***
The last dreamed of a masquerade, where she danced and danced until there were no partners left who didn't slump and drag and seep as she twirled them about. Danced until the color left their faces and she was standing alone in the center of the ballroom. Above her head, the roof took off to tea, and the stars began chittering down to her as if it had been decades since they'd last spoke.
"Stop," she cried out, her hands clasped over her ears. "For everyone a turn, and a turn for everyone." The voices battled to bend her ear, and she dropped to her knees. "I can't listen all at once! Not enough ears, not enough!"
And beneath her, she felt the thump-thumping of food that was not food, and then hot hands placed wiggled under hers, and the thump-thumping was all that was in her ears. She looked up, and there were eyes of gems to meet her own.
"Would you like to fly?" the bow beneath the gems asked, and she didn't understand why she would want to do that. Up high was closer to the naughty stars, with their layers of crinoline voices. The bow stretched and tilted. "Do you trust me?"
She nodded emphatically, so that the bow might know that she truly meant it.
And they rose. Left behind useless dancing boys who no longer danced like they were supposed to--and they would be punished for that later, oh yes they would--and went up past where the roof would return once his crumpets were put away. Climbed towards the stars, and even the thump-thumping could hear them.
The bow turned down, and she laughed at the stars, because they had made the bow dip and the gems darken, and they were a power the stars didn't know. "There's too many of them," the bow told her.
"The many mouths of one," she agreed with the bow. "But they never know what the others know. They can only tell me what they know."
"If they were one, they would know what the others know. And they could tell you everything."
"Yes, but they are many." And she didn't like that there were many, because there were stories they had to tell her: grand tales of glittering gems that might possibly shatter, rich wine that might stain a dress, a darkness that might be nothing but dark, and pain that might never end. "I don't know which comes first, then next."
"Must you know? You never do."
She stamped her foot. "Yes.
"I can take you to a single voice," the bow told her. "But just once. So you must be sure."
She tilted her head to the side. "Just once?"
The gems and bow dipped down in a nod. "You only took one sip," the bow explained.
"An eye for an eye," she said sagely, and the bow curled upwards. "Take me."
A wave of air, whispering around the bow and gem, and then they were no longer climbing up, but stepping sideways. The sky slithered away from them, growing paler and paler, until it began getting lighter and lighter.
"This isn't my sky," she murmured with a worried frown and they became still.
The thump-thumping at her ears caressed her. "It's mine, and you're with me so you're safe."
She thought about that for a long while. "Safe as houses?" she asked eventually.
"Safer."
The bow would know of such things better than most, so she nodded and they stepped again. And it grew brighter and brighter, and the light wasn't white like the stars, it was yellow.
But something came to her, and she frowned. "I can only hear the stars."
"I know. This is just a very big star. Are you sure you want to use your chance now?"
And she nodded. "Absolutely."
"Then closer your eyes," the bow instructed her, "and listen carefully."
She listened more carefully than she ever had before. Listened to the story from start to almost-finish, her face crumpling with distress when the voice stopped after telling her of confusion and rage, some desperation, too. There was blood and death and agonized screams.
"Sh, it's all right," the bow said calmly. "There are two endings. It's trying to decide which one to tell you first."
"Two endings," she breathed, her eyes fluttering open. "Tragedy or romance."
The bow and gems moved side-to-side. "They're both romantic, and romance is always tragic in its own way. The difference lies in how *much* tragedy."
The first ending continued from the screaming. It went on for ages, and she didn't think it would ever end, but after it finally did, there was despair and then everything was changed. The voice paused, then started again. The second ending also started at the screaming, and she heard a pitter-patter, thump-thumping, and the screams ended quickly this time. There was hurt and confusion, and then everything was changed.
"There's no difference," she pouted as they pulled away from the yellow star.
"Not to you, no. But to them, there is every difference in the world." She opened her mouth, and the bow answered her before she asked. "They would want the second ending. Would only survive the second ending."
"It didn't tell me what I should do," she said suddenly. Her eyes grew round. "Did I miss it? I listened, I did!"
"You didn't miss anything," the bow said simply. "You know what comes first, then next. You know which ending they need. It's very clear."
She supposed it was. The gems brought her back to the ball, where new dancing boys had come to take the places of the naughty ones, and she waved absently as the roof came back from tea.
***
The tension in the house was so palpable the next night that it made Angel's skin crawl. The vampires stayed in the master bedroom, Willow ventured upstairs only long enough to shower and change--from what Angel could hear--and then returned to the first floor without acknowledging their presence. As they didn't acknowledge hers.
The occupants of the bedroom spent some time working on the puzzle of who had kidnapped and tortured Dev, once again not getting very far. Wesley was looking into who or what might have such a unique cloaking ability, as were several of Dev's sources--who she'd had Angel contact under a false name. After the two hours that took, they were left to wait for a call back. And feel entirely too uncomfortable to leave the room and encroach on Willow's privacy.
Or maybe that was only Angel, who had seen far too many unspoken things in her eyes when he'd told her he was sending her home, only to find more in Spike's eyes when he tried to get the younger vampire to understand why it was necessary.
And Dru wasn't helping. Not in the least. Though Spike had tried, she was still angry. Angel was getting a little annoyed by her constant hissing and snarling.
"I wasn't going to ask," Dev said after yet another hiss made its way from Drusilla. Bland eyes traveled to each of the other occupants of the room as she wiped her cheek. "But this is the third time Dru's spit on me trying to get at Angel." No one said anything, and she frowned. "Could someone maybe tell me what the problem is?"
Dru opened her mouth, but Dev reached over and placed her hand on Dru's lips. "Sweetness, I need some sense right now. Go back to hissing." Drusilla nodded and Dev removed her hand and looked at Angel, who didn't say anything.
Spike didn't seem eager to start talking either, and Angel hoped Dev would just let it drop. Instead, she sighed from her position in the center of the bed, where she was sitting cross-legged.
"Damn it," she exclaimed, her frustration and impatience seeping through. "This is the first time since Germany that we're all together without one of us trying to kill another, or one of us--" She gave Angel a pointed look. "--being completely unstable. If it's going to be ruined? I think I have a right to know by what."
Angel just returned her demanding gaze with his best blank face, and she turned to Spike, a silky smile on her lips. "Come on, luv," she coaxed him.
Spike lit a new cigarette and lifted a diffident shoulder in response. Dev's eyes widened almost comically and her wide mouth slipped open just a little before she reigned herself in and erased all evidence of shock from her face. Spike's blatant pandering to females he cared about had always extended to Dev, and Angel knew she wasn't used to him denying her anything- -much less something as simple as an answer. Then her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits, and Angel knew why.
Dev connected differently with each of her sires due to the strange circumstance of her creation. Angel and Dev's relationship had been forged during long, complicated talks in which he'd counseled and guided her about the finer nuances of life that Spike and Drusilla hadn't been all that concerned about. As a result, it was a steadfast and level friendship.
Drusilla and Dev had always been sisterly. Angel would have thought that it would be more...maternal--on one side or the other. But to his surprise, Drusilla had never fussed or fretted like Dev was one of her dolls, and Dev had never been condescending to or overprotective of Drusilla.
Spike and Dev, though, they were something else entirely. Dev was so protective of Spike that the word "rabid" came to mind. To someone who didn't know and understand Spike, it would probably seem unnecessary, but to Angel, it made perfect sense. Spike was strong, fierce and he'd earned his reputation fairly. But to the few people he gave a damn about, Spike offered up everything in him, and was incapable of protecting against them in any way.
Dev was one of those people, and she was hyperaware of how sensitive Spike could be. She did everything in her power to avoid hurting him even a little. And her hackles got sometimes uncontrollably raised if someone else tried. Angel and Dru were generally excluded from that last group, probably due to the power structure and sire/childe complexities. Angel also thought her behavior had a lot to do with the demon aspect she'd gotten from Spike, because he'd seen Spike go to extreme measures when those few he cared about were harmed.
Spike's current behavior might as well have been a glaring neon sign. Something had nicked him, and he was trying to shrug it off. Dev had already been determined to get answers, but now there was going to be no playing around.
"We brought Willow to Los Angeles the day after you got there," he began, leaning back in the chair in the corner of the room.
Dev nodded, the slow motion indicating that she had no idea how this particular bit of information related to what she wanted to know. "I knew someone would be there," she told him. "A woman. Human. Got pulled from you to Dru when you helped me out of the sewer, and I saw a few things. I didn't know who it would be, though."
That cleared up yet one more thing that had been dangling: how she'd known to set up that "recorded" bit of magic that had associated Willow with Dev in Drusilla's mind.
"You probably got a glimpse of Dru's vision," Angel said thoughtfully. "In it, Willow helped you, and Spike went back to Sunnydale..."
An hour later, Angel finished telling her of everything that had gone on during her bout of unconsciousness, leaving out a lot of the subtle and not- so-subtle undertones he'd picked up on.
"That's all really...interesting," she said finally. "But I don't understand what the drama is about. We're talking about her going home to the Slayer who faced down the three of you and lived. Don't think she can get much more protected than that."
Angel had the thought that maybe he should have at least alluded to the undertones, because there wasn't a way to respond to Dev without bringing them up.
"Dru thinks Angel's trying to change shite he shouldn't be messing with," Spike said curtly. "She's displaying her displeasure."
"And what about you, then?" she asked archly. "Because I'm not too clear about what kind of mood you're in right now. You were pissed at Angel, then you talked to Willow--"
Angel shook his head minutely, but frantically, and fortunately for him Spike was too distracted by staring at the floor that he didn't notice. Even more fortunately, Dev saw it.
She broke off and then nodded. "Well, now you're--what? Still mad at Papa Bear?"
"Don't call me that," Angel grumbled.
"Not mad at anyone, pet," Spike told her flatly.
"The last time I tried to avoid answering you like this, you punched me in the face," she drawled. "What say we skip the violence, and you just give me a straight answer?"
Just then, the house phone rang and a minute later Willow was yelling up to Angel from the first floor. "Wesley needs you to call him."
Dev looked at the closed door. "Is she afraid of me?" she asked irritably. "Her scent is all over the room--all over the *bed*--but she's barely been up here since I got up."
"Knives in hand," Drusilla spat. "Carving her away. Slicing through flesh and bone."
"Shut it, Dru," Spike said icily.
"I told you," Dru growled back at him, crawling around Dev on the bed to move her face very close to his. "And you said you wouldn't. But now you are. You'll force her to the wrong ending."
Spike's hands clenched into fists, and his jaw tensed. Angel was out of the chair and across the room in a flash. He took hold of Dru's chin and forced her to look at him. "Drop it," he ordered her harshly. "It's not up to him."
Dev was watching everything with hooded eyes, while Spike was staring at some point on the far wall. Drusilla pulled out of Angel's grasp and crawled back, baring her teeth at him. "She is up to him, and it is up to her. *You* have no say."
"Goddamn," Dev exclaimed. "I think this might be worse than the three of you at each other's throats."
"Drusilla," Angel snapped. "Try going the rest of the night without speaking. Or hissing," he added as an afterthought. "Spike, just--" Angel shook his head, not even sure what to suggest to the tightly wound vampire. "I'm calling Wesley back."
"Don't I get an assignment?" Dev asked snippily.
Angel glowered at her. "Stop poking at things you don't understand," he suggested coolly, and she had the good grace to look abashed.
His motions sharp, Angel found the cell phone and called Wesley. "There's no reason why the shield shouldn't hold until Willow consciously lowers in," Wesley told him. "However, in order to do so, she will need physical contact. Also, Dev's own...talents will be unavailable until then."
Angel gave a quick glance at Spike, who had gotten up from the bed and stood by Angel's shoulder to listen to the conversation. "Do it."
He stared at Spike. "What?"
"Send her home," Spike said casually. "She can pop over to L.A. when this is done and do away with the shield."
Angel nodded slowly, eyes fixed on Spike's blank face. "Wes, talk to that guy we know in Chinatown and get papers for Willow. Once that's done, arrange for a flight out of O'Hare for her."
"I'll have Gunn take care of procuring the documents," Wesley said. "Cordelia and I will continue to look into Dev's attackers."
They hung up and Spike retreated to the bed once again to smoke his millionth cigarette of the night. Shaking his head, Angel went to the window and turned on the exhaust fan. The tension remained and the group fell into a thick silence that was broken not long before dawn by screaming. Willow's screaming.
***
Spike came to a skidding halt in the living room, staring at the scene in front of him. Willow was on the floor next to the couch, screaming for all she was worth, struggling and fighting, and completely asleep. "What the hell?" he muttered.
Angel barreled past him, crouching down next to Willow and taking hold of her shoulders. He gave her a shake. "Wake up, Willow!" he called out to her.
Fifteen minutes and ten more attempts to wake her up, and Angel admitted defeat and tried to make Willow more comfortable on the floor. Dev and Drusilla were standing next to Spike. Dev looked like she had finally given up trying to understand anything that was going on in the house, and Drusilla looked...at ease, strangely enough.
Willow's screams had tapered off into terrified whimpers, and Spike took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. But when Angel let go of Willow's shoulders her hands shot up to her head and began to alternately pull at her hair and smack herself. Before Angel could gather himself to take hold of her hands, Willow scrambled to her feet and started to run. Angel managed to loop an arm around her waist before she crashed face-first onto the glass top of the coffee table.
"She's going to hurt herself," Spike said tensely, and Angel nodded as he struggled to hold Willow without harming her. "Any chains or rope on hand?" Dev asked, and then widened her eyes when Angel and Spike both glared at her. "What? It'll contain her." "Bloody well not chaining her up," Spike snapped. Angel wasn't having an easy time, and Spike ran a hand through his hair. Willow was slight of frame, but she was thrashing around with the desperation and fixation of a...madwoman...He turned to Dru and raised a brow. "Give her a lullaby, pet?"
His princess smiled easily and Spike wondered if she was the least bit surprised about any of this, given how calm she was being. He also wondered if she'd be willing to share the details with the rest of the class, but didn't hold out much hope that she'd be understandable even if she did decide to tell them anything.
She was holding Dev's arm to support the other vampire, and she urged Dev closer to Spike so that he could take her place. Then she walked to Willow and Angel, gracefully sinking to her knees in front of them. Angel maneuvered Willow until she was in front of him, her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her chest and pinned her flailing limbs to her sides, while at the same time tossing a leg over both of hers and effectively trapping them.
Her head thrashed from side to side, her eyes squeezed shut tightly. She screamed, loud and long, and the sound tore at Spike's calm.
"Ease up," Dev snapped, and he glanced down and realized he'd clenched his hand around her arm.
Once again looking at the trio on the floor, Spike frowned as Drusilla took hold of Willow's face and held her head still. Her nails dug into Willow's pale flesh, drawing blood. But her head was still, and Drusilla's eyes drifted shut. A moment later, Willow went unnaturally still and Drusilla began to hum and sing, and little by little the stillness relaxed into something natural. Within a few minutes, Willow had fallen into a normal sleep in Angel's hold, and Drusilla was getting to her feet again.
Spike ran a hand through his hair as Angel set Willow on the sofa and covered her with a blanket. "What the hell just happened?" he demanded to know.
"She doesn't like her dreams," Drusilla cooed softly, eyes on the ceiling as she gave a half-twirl.
Right then, Spike wasn't a big fan of them either.
***
Confusion filled Willow's mind when she woke up from her nap on the couch and found that the television had been turned off, the lights had been turned on, and the vampires had congregated in the dining room.
She sat up and frowned, wondering how she'd slept through all of that, including the not-so-hushed conversation they were currently having. Angel was telling Dev about Spike going to Los Angeles for the Gem of Amarra, and Dru was singing as she brushed Dev's hair. Spike was--well, Spike was not in the dining room.
"You're up."
She turned and saw him on the rarely used loveseat, face inscrutable as he studied her. She'd thought they'd all be keeping their distance until she left, and didn't think they'd come downstairs without a reason.
"Yeah," she said hesitantly. "Is something going on?"
"Depends," Spike said blandly. "Do you count having a violent, screaming nightmare that we couldn't wake you from as 'something'?"
Willow froze and forced herself not to look into the dining room at Dru. Instead, she closed her eyes and tried to remember. She'd been having another nightmare, but had been unable to get to her safe place. And she'd tried so hard, but her physical exhaustion had followed her into the dream and she hadn't had the energy.
Someone--and she suspected it had been Dru--had forcibly dragged her out of it and locked her in a study of some kind with Spike. Her eyes flew open as she went over Spike's words.
"Violent?" she echoed, staring at him. "Did I try to hurt you?"
"You tried to hurt yourself," she heard Angel say. Turning her head, she saw that the others had moved into the room and were staring t her. "Dru had to--" He waved a hand vaguely.
"Whammy you," Dev said helpfully.
"Oh," Willow murmured, then realized that Dev was standing of her own accord now, and was fully dressed. "Are those my pajama pants?" she asked, a little dazed.
"They are," Dev confirmed with a small smile. "I was getting tired of just the t-shirt. Hope you don't mind."
"No, it's fine," Willow mumbled, shaking her head and frowning at the news that she had apparently freaked out in her sleep. Big time, if the vampires' presence was anything to go by. She grimaced, then winced in pain at the motion. Very slowly, she lifted a hand to her face and felt numerous cuts.
Her eyes found Spike. "Did I do this to myself?" she asked smally.
"That was Dru," Spike responded. "You wouldn't keep still for her to get in your head."
"Oh," she said again, lowering her hand.
"Willow." Angel's face was grim. "You don't have nightmares like that."
There was actually no way he could know that for sure, but she couldn't bring herself to insist that she did. Her only option, if she didn't want to get caught lying, was to stick as close to the truth as possible.
"No," she admitted, pushing her hair back from her face. "But I also haven't been sleeping much. Or well. I'm usually a pretty lucid dreamer unless I'm wiped out."
"Not that I know you or anything," Dev ventured, "but that seemed like not a normal nightmare."
Willow couldn't help but laugh a little bitterly. "I don't come from a normal town, and it's given me nightmare fodder you wouldn't believe. Especially ones starring these three," she added, gesturing at the others.
Angel winced, Drusilla tilted her head to the side, and Spike smiled just a bit.
"What was it?" Angel asked softly.
Willow shivered and grabbed onto the only other nightmare that had squeezed past her lucid dreaming talent. "Hellmouth opening," she said, swallowing. "The tentacles had me."
"All that for some tentacles?" Spike asked suspiciously.
"You weren't there," she said sharply, and then glanced at Angel.
"It was rough," Angel confirmed tightly. "Did anything feel off, Willow? Strange?"
She shook her head. "It was just a nightmare, except that I was too drained to do any of my 'I'm only dreaming' tricks."
Angel seemed appeased, and more than a little relieved, upon hearing that. Of course, he didn't see the twinkle in Drusilla's eyes as she twirled past Willow.
Willow risked a glance at the clock on the cable box, crossing her fingers and hoping she'd gotten a decent amount of sleep this time around. Her hopes were grounded into a fine powder when she realized it had only been two hours since she'd last looked at the clock before falling asleep. "Wesley's arranging for identification for you," Angel said into the silence. "It should be here in a couple of days and he'll arrange a flight to L.A. for you, and set up a rental car so that you can drive to Sunnydale." "Which is nowhere near safe enough," Spike said, his tone impatient. "Should have someone meet her there." Angel tossed him a glare. "And if he's being followed? It's too big a chance." Spike threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "The Slayer, then." Willow had never thought she'd ever see Spike recommend Buffy as a viable option. For anything. No matter what. "I'll be fine," she insisted. "But if it's that big a deal I can always switch flights so that Wesley doesn't know any details."
"We'll play that by ear," Angel said after a moment. "Make a decision on it when the time comes."
"All right then," Willow agreed, and then looked around. "Since you're down here and all, I guess I can let you know about some of what I've set up."
The vampires finally decided to find seats and make themselves more comfortable. Drusilla sat in the middle of sofa, right next to Willow, with Dev on her other side. Angel sat on the armchair, grimacing slightly as it crunched under him. Spike's spilled blood had dried the cushion stiffly.
"I paid the rent up for the next six months," she began, holding up a hand when Angel opened his mouth. "I know it won't be that long, but they can use the money to fix everything that Spike has, and will, destroy." He flipped her off and she shrugged. It was true, after all.
"I've also ordered another laptop and it'll be delivered tomorrow," she went on. "I'd rather take mine with me, but if we can't transfer everything you need, then I'll take the new one. And I'll leave the bank card," she added. "If you want to take any of the stuff that we bought when you leave, go ahead. If not, you can leave it. Once you're gone, you'll need to let me know so that I can call the realtor and end the rental and make excuses for whatever's been done or left behind."
The vampires just looked at her, and she shifted uncomfortably. "What?"
They glanced at each other, then just shook their heads. Okay, so maybe she was behaving a bit like a parent or something, with all the arrangements. But, hey. It had to be done and she hadn't had anything better to do all day.
She blushed slightly and got to her feet. "I'm going to get a drink. Do you guys need anything?"
There was a trio of headshakes, and Willow made her way into the kitchen. Once there, she sat at the small breakfast nook took several deep breaths. Leaving as soon as possible was very important now, because she really didn't want to have to tell Angel the truth and deal with his anger about her lying. Of course, she was going to have a whole other group of people to hide the dreams from when she went back. Not to mention that she'd probably have to lie to them about what had gone on; Angel hadn't yet told her what the cover story was going to be.
But, still, she could spend some quality time with Buffy and Xander to reassure them that she was alive, and then camp at her parents' house. There, the nightmares would go unnoticed if she slept during the day when her parents were at work. Glad to have a somewhat workable plan, she squared her shoulders and sat up straight.
Only to see Spike in the middle of the kitchen, watching her with a frown. "Will?"
"I'm fine," she said, trying to smile. His blue eyes narrowed on her and she exhaled shakily. She was really starting to hate the way he somehow always managed to just walk right past her defenses without even noticing them. "Okay, so I'm not fine," she admitted on a sigh.
He arched a brow and sat across from her. "Feeling out of sorts?"
She lowered her head and tried to work some of the tension out of her shoulders. "I really don't think some quality sleep is too much to ask for," she complained tiredly. "Do you?"
"It's not," he said awkwardly. "You could..." Willow's brow creased as she wondered what he was trying to say. Spike shrugged and his eyes fell to the floor. "Didn't have these problems before, and there's room for you, is all I'm saying."
Oh. She got it now. Perhaps if all of her synapses had been firing correctly, she would have been a little less artless in her response. But her mind wasn't really functioning at any higher level whatsoever.
"I really want to," she said quietly. "But I think it'll make it harder to leave and be away. Alone. By myself. Without anyone else. And--well, you get the point." He was still looking away. "You do get the point, right?" she asked with concern.
He nodded once. "Get it in all it's sharp and pointy glory, luv," he said lowly. He got to his feet. "Round yourself up that drink, then try to get some sleep again, all right?"
She nodded and watched him stride from the kitchen. After the reminder of what she was missing out on, Willow the warm milk she made wasn't nearly as comforting as it might have been.
***
When the next evening rolled around, Willow thought that she might qualify for official zombie status. Her attempts at sleeping had been hindered by the fact that she didn't *want* to sleep. Just the thought of getting stuck in those dreams again had caused her to rise from her bed and busy herself.
By the time the vampires stirred, she had already set up the new laptop that had arrived at noon, and transferred all pertinent information over. The kitchen had been scrubbed down, all laundry done, and every surface on the first floor dusted. She had held off on the vacuuming so that she wouldn't disturb them.
Assuming that the vampires were going to be keeping their distance once again, she was more than a little surprised when Dev appeared in the living room.
"Oh, hey there," Willow said awkwardly. She set aside the cleaner and paper towels she'd been using to clean the television screen and raised her brows at the vampire. "Do you need something?"
"Yeah," Dev confirmed, coming further into the room and sitting on the couch. "I need to thank you."
Willow tilted her head to the side. "Well, you're welcome," she replied, nonplussed. "I'm just glad I was actually able to, you know, help you. For a while I was pretty much useless."
Dev lifted a lazy brow. "Useless? Hardly that, from what I've heard." Her face slid into serious lines, her eyes darkening. "I owe you a lot, Willow. For what you did for me and for them."
Willow's eyes widened. "No, not at all!" she insisted earnestly. "Angel's helped Buffy and the rest of us more times than I can count--and believe me, I've tried. I think I'm still in the hole, actually."
"I think that, between restoring his soul and this adventure," Dev drawled, "you're actually ahead of the game as far as Angel's concerned. As for me...I know what kind of shape I was in when I got to Los Angeles." She shrugged and looked away. "It would have been a lot of months before I woke up, and then many more before I was anywhere near the kind of shape I'm in now. And I owe you for that." She got to her feet and smiled a little. "Just keep it in mind, all right? In case you or the others need anything."
"Okay," Willow agreed. "Are you okay getting upstairs yourself?"
"More than okay," Dev laughed. "My muscles are used to moving again. Actually, though, I was going to look around. Haven't had a chance to tour the place yet."
So Willow showed her around, her words more than a little slurred at times, which caused Dev to frown. But Willow was an expert at babbling, and she used it as a distraction. "...blood runs whenever we get low. It's human, which Angel was reluctant about for a while, but it keeps Spike and Dru from complaining about not being able to hunt. Plus, it kept their strength up better than animal blood when they were feeding you all the time. Are you going to be going bagged now? Oh, and do you eat people food, like Spike does? Because if so, I'll have to adjust the grocery and blood lists I made for you guys to use once I'm gone."
"You would make a champion swimmer," Dev said incongruously as Willow closed the fridge.
"Huh?"
"Your ability to speak so much on one breath," Dev clarified. "Would come in handy swimming."
Willow flushed a little with embarrassment. "But it also requires coordination, which I'm known to lack."
"There you are," Spike said from the doorway. He arched a brow at Dev. "Said you were going to wash up."
"I did," Dev said with a shrug. "Then I figured I'd get the lay of the land. Willow was showing me around."
Angel came up behind Spike, his face creased in a frown. "Did you find--oh, hey," he said, spying Dev in the kitchen. "You're...up and about. That's good."
"The computer's here and set up," Willow said suddenly, causing everyone to stare at her. She blinked a little, then shook her head. "Sorry, didn't mean to just toss that out there like that." She smiled at Dev. "Let me show you where I put everything."
In the dining room, Willow knew she was garnering all sorts of bad attention, what with the swaying on her feet and the zoning out in the middle of directing Dev to the folder she'd stored the relevant documents on. Knew it, and felt helpless to direct the attention away.
"Willow," Angel said firmly.
She blinked and saw that not only was everyone staring at her, but had missed Drusilla joining them in the dining room. "What?" she mumbled, staring at Angel.
He took hold of her arm and steered her into the living room. "You haven't slept, have you?"
She managed to wrest her arm from his hold, and then smiled brightly up at him. "I'm fine, Angel. Really."
Her vision seemed to waver, and then speed away from her at a great distance, and then she was screaming.
***
"That's not a damn nightmare," Spike snarled as Angel practically sat on Willow in an effort to keep her from beating her head off the wall again. She had started screaming and slamming herself into the wall ten minutes ago, and Spike was near to going on a rampage of some kind. "She was wide awake."
"They're attacking her," Dev said from his side.
Spike froze, then swiveled on his heel to stare at Dev.
"She said they wouldn't be able to find her," Angel snapped, his words a little unsteady as Willow tried to buck him off of her.
Dev shook her head. "They haven't found her, and they can't. They're trying to undermine her so that she'll lower the shield." Her eyes widened. "Hell-- the nightmares. That's what they were. She's too powerful for them to affect--"
"Unless she's asleep and her conscious mind isn't in control," Spike bit out. "But she was awake just now," he said again.
"And exhausted," Angel reminded him. "It's made her vulnerable."
Dev nodded, and Spike realized that she had lied to their faces about the dreams. "That little, headstrong--" He broke off and felt himself shaking. "How do we stop it?" he demanded of Dev.
"Can we lock them out?" Angel asked hopefully.
"Willow is perfectly capable of doing it," Dev told them with a shrug. "That's what she's been doing since they started. She just needs rest to shore her defenses."
Something about what Dev said was ringing a bell in his head, and he cast back in his memories to find out what. His eyes widened, and he snarled at Dru. "Rest," he said coldly. "You said she needed rest after she was 'sick'. You knew about this the entire bloody time."
She nodded calmly, and Spike was almost on her when Dev hauled him back. "That's not going to help a damn thing," she hissed at him, shoving him aside and facing Dru. "Sweetness, did you do something to help Willow?"
"Of course," Drusilla replied testily, much in the manner that she'd confirmed that, yes, her visions always came to tea when she invited them. "Kept all your drops in the cup, so I took her to a place."
Dev frowned. "A place?" she repeated.
Drusilla nodded. "Hm. Where she could be safe."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Spike ground out.
"She gave Willow an escape hatch," Dev explained, not removing her eyes from Dru. "To get away from the attacks." Addressing Dru once again, she asked, "Did it work?"
"Oh, yes," Drusilla confirmed.
Spike briefly considered counting to ten to calm down, but tossed the idea out of the window almost immediately. "Then why isn't she using the hatch?" he shouted. "Why is she stuck?"
"Weary to the bone and so very alone," Drusilla sang lightly. "I helped her before but now I can't."
"Damn it, Willow!" Angel shouted. Spike spun around and saw that Willow had managed to shove the vampire off of her, and had crawled away, her body shaking and terrified. Agonized gasps issued from her lips as she blindly scurried towards something only she could see.
Spike strode to her and lifted her in his arms. She struck out, whimpering, and he caught her hand. "We need a controlled space so she doesn't hurt herself," he told Angel flatly, moving his head so that he could see Angel around Willow's thrashing.
But Drusilla came to them, a small smile playing on her lips. "Body and mind," she said solemnly, her hands clasping each side of Willow's head and her eyes drifting closed. "Come visit us, precious. Let us see those pretty green gems."
For a few moments, there was no change. Willow continued flailing in his arms, and it was more than a little difficult to keep hold of her without hurting her, but Spike managed. Drusilla took several hits from Willow's limbs with alacrity, body swaying so that she could keep her hands on Willow's head.
Slowly but surely, Willow began to settle down, until finally she was no longer struggling, but simply shaking something fierce in Spike's arms. A moment later, her eyes flew open and she sucked in a greedy breath as she looked around. Drusilla released her head and stepped back, leaving Spike to shift his grip so that he wasn't restraining her any more.
"I didn't want to know," Willow choked out. "No. No. No." Her hands covered her face and she drew in on herself. "Didn't want to see."
"It's all right, pet," Spike hushed her. "Was just a dream."
Her hands fell from her face and she stared at him with side eyes. "Spike," she mumbled desperately. She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face against his throat. "Spike. Spike. Spike."
Confused and more than a little shocked, Spike brushed a hand across the back of her head soothingly. "Right here," he assured her, looking helplessly at Angel and Dev.
"She needs sleep," Dev said softly. "Lots of it. Without nightmares."
"They won't come right now," Drusilla interjected, her voice certain and her eyes on Spike.
"Did you hear that?" Spike asked the woman clinging to him. "Willow?"
"Spike."
"Yes, I'm Spike," he said a little impatiently. "You need to go to sleep so this doesn't happen again."
"No!" she screamed, and Spike flinched just as much from the terror in the sound as from the volume of it. "Can't sleep!"
"You have to," he said firmly.
She started struggling again, and something wet fell on his hand. Tears, he realized. She was crying, and then she was sobbing, and Spike wondered if it was possible for an organ long dead and unused to break.
"Stop," he said loudly, trying not to drop her. "Calm down, luv. Calm down." She kept at it, and his gut clenched. He knew that everyone was watching him, and he didn't give a damn. He couldn't take her being this upset, this scared, this desperate. Almost frantically, he pulled her tightly to his chest. When he spoke, his words were fervent and practically as desperate as hers had been. "Sh. Okay, all right. You don't have to sleep, pet. You don't have to. It's all right, you hear?"
"Spike--" Angel began, but stopped when Willow settled in Spike's arms again.
Spike closed his eyes when Willow buried her face against his neck again. Held her close and stroked her back before sliding his hand up to tangle it in her hair. There were about a dozen emotions battling for supremacy in him at the moment. Rage that someone had dared do this to her, combined with the desire go out, find them, and make them hurt. Awe that, even in the face of something that had reduced her to sobs and screams, she hadn't dropped the shield. Pride that she was so damn strong.
But what finally won out was the overwhelming need to make it better for her somehow. To do something to ease the frenzied state of her mind.
Opening his eyes, he walked to the sofa and sat, arranging her on his lap in such a way as to accommodate her grip around his neck. He sat with her until she finally drifted off to sleep. He sat with her when the others took a suspiciously subdued leave. He sat with her until she woke up, saw him, and fell back into an easy sleep. He sat with her until he could no longer keep his own eyes open, and then he lay with her.
***
Angel was sitting in the third bedroom that hadn't had an occupant in weeks, needing to be alone to contemplate what he'd just witnessed. Alone just wasn't to be, however. The door opened slowly and Dev came in, still wearing Spike's t-shirt and Willow's pajama pants. The pants were the right length, but too tight since her hips were wider than Willow's. She closed the door behind her and sat next to him on the bed.
"Spike and Willow," she said quietly. "How long has it been going on?"
Angel sighed. "They've been skirting it since he went back to Sunnydale, from what I've gathered."
Dev leaned against him. "I look around, and it feels like I had to have been out for years. You're in charge, despite the soul. Spike's...not like I've ever seen him..."
"He's subdued," Angel acknowledged, sliding an arm across her shoulders. "And confused."
"About Willow."
Angel shook his head. "No, actually. That doesn't exist for him yet." He considered that for a moment. "At least until tonight, I guess. He just doesn't know where to go from where he is. Or even where he is."
"Been there," Dev replied. "It's tough. Especially for him and me. This damn demon is too passionate to make rational contemplation easy." She nudged him. "And what's Miss Willow? Besides a seriously powerful young thing?"
"Astonishingly smart and very sensitive. Compassionate and caring. Loyal."
Dev sucked in a breath; a habit she might have picked up from Spike, or that might have come with the demon itself. "That's exactly how you described William to me," she whispered. "William before the Bloody part."
"And after," Angel admitted darkly.
She turned towards him, her dark blue eyes studying him. "You worry too much," she finally said.
His eyes widened. "And you don't worry nearly enough," he countered. "Did we just see the same thing down there?"
She nodded and shrugged at the same time. "Yeah, but my perspective is different."
"Why? Because you joined him in a bloodbath or two?" Angel snapped.
Dev flinched and then glared at him. "Pots shouldn't call kettles slaughterers."
"You had a soul," he reminded her angrily.
"And I made a mistake," she replied in kind. "Many mistakes." She rubbed her eyes and shook her head. "And I'd really rather not get into this again."
Neither did Angel, truth be told. It was hard for him to reconcile the Dev he knew with the stories he'd heard about her in Belgium with Spike and Dru. Which was probably how everyone who had experienced Angelus two years before felt about him.
"How is your perspective different, then?"
Dev's lips tilted gratefully at the change in subject. "Because I've been on the receiving end of Spike's indulgences, Papa Bear." Angel narrowed his eyes at her and she just winked at him. "As much as you've witnessed it, you can't know what it's like. Not entirely. So, you're worried about him hurting her, and I'd like to know the chances of the opposite happening."
Angel considered that and realized the answer wasn't one he liked very much. "The chances are the same on both sides. And it'll go to an extreme, because both of them are extreme."
"You do realize that he has absolutely no idea what he did down there, don't you?"
Angel blinked. "How can he not know? We heard it, loud and clear. He had to have heard it *and* felt it."
"Come on, Angel. This is Spike," she reminded him. "He takes a whole lot of baby steps towards some things. Gets nowhere near it, then suddenly realizes what's going on and leaps the rest of the distance. He's not ready to know, so he didn't notice it."
Angel knew that about Spike, but he hadn't thought that even Spike's denial could extend so far. It was practically unheard of, what he'd done. "I don't know much about it," Angel admitted. "Beyond the basics."
"Depending on how things go, I can get my hands on a copy of Lenton's Obscure Vampire Dynamics. It's supposed to be the most comprehensive source."
Angel grunted. "How are you doing?" he asked abruptly.
She adjusted to the change of subject swiftly enough. "I'd like to say that torture is old hat by now," she mumbled. "Wasn't the first time, and it probably won't be the last. But this was...an entirely different level. They got into my magic, and for some reason that makes me feel the most violated, the most vulnerable."
Now wasn't the time to call her on the carpet about keeping the fact that she *had* magic from them, so Angel didn't broach the subject at the moment.
"And I'm so damn angry," she went on. "That I got caught like that. That it took me so long to get out. That I had to leave without killing any of those bastards because I was too weak to fight. That I got absolutely no information about who or what they were." She ran her hands through her hair. "I'm sorry for showing up like that. I didn't know where else to go," she said so lowly that he almost didn't hear her.
Angel slid off the bed and crouched down in front of her, setting his hands on her shoulders. "You went right where you should have," he said intently. "As much as things are nothing like they were back then, some things won't ever change."
She lifted clouded eyes to him. "Even with my mistakes?"
It was so hard, Angel reflected. So damn hard to remember that Dev had known about his soul longer than he'd realized, and had tried her best to live up to expectations that he hadn't even voiced. And because her only experiences were firmly grounded in the vampire hierarchy, he knew that however much her conscience hounded her for her mistakes, the fact that she'd let him down also gnawed at her just as much.
He'd expressed his anger, his disappointment in her about her missteps, but he'd never offered her either the understanding of the only other souled vampire out there, or the forgiveness of her patriarch.
"I don't think less of you, Dev." She frowned in disbelief and he struggled to find the words. "I know you were in a tough spot," he said eventually. "My disappearing act left you with only Spike and Dru, and you didn't have any human experiences to draw on. You did things you shouldn't have, but you realized it and stopped for no reason except that you knew it wasn't right."
"It wasn't easy," she confessed. "I go to extremes like Spike does--worse because of the soul. Takes a lot to keep myself in the middle ground."
He rose and kissed her forehead. "Most people don't bother." He made his way to the door, and spoke with his back to her. "I'm proud of you."
In the master bedroom, Drusilla was perched on the edge of the bed, smiling wistfully. "Do you understand now?" she asked him, her eyes slanting meaningfully to the floor, below which were Spike and Willow. "Rumbles and pitter-patters."
"Yeah," he said tiredly, removing his belt and crawling into the bed. "Do you know anything new, Drusilla?"
"Oh, yes, but none of it answers what you ask. It tells how everything happens, but not what will happen."
Angel closed his eyes. "Is there anything we can do?"
"Show her," Drusilla breathed. "Show her she is more than one or the other."
The mattress dipped as she moved up next to him, curling around him and petting his hair. A few moments later, Dev came in and joined them, Drusilla moving to the side so their childe could rest between them.
***
Willow became aware of being awake, which implied that she had been sleeping. Or still was. She wasn't sure, and she didn't want to find out. She laid wherever she was, eyes resolutely closed, and anxiety crawling across her skin. She remembered horrible images, worse than any other she'd seen yet. Remembered being sucked into Dev's position and feeling everything that had been done to the vampire. Everything.
Her breathing started to speed up, but then she heard something. Coming from just under her head. It was almost like a growl, but not really. It wasn't menacing, or frightening...it made her feel safe, and secure. Like everything was going to be all right. Willow focused on the sound, letting go of the panic and fear she was feeling and let her mind slip away back into sleep.
***